//------------------------------//
// The Right to Nonsense 
// Story: I'm Offensive and I Take Offense 
// by Gapeagle 
//------------------------------//

"Twilight! TWWWWIIILLLLIIGGHTTTT!!"

"I'm awake!" the Princess of Friendship leaped from her bed. "I'm awake!"

"Twilight! Come here, now!"

Twilight scrambled through the halls of her castle and ran to the calling voice. Her heart raced with anxious excitement due to the severity of the cries for help. Finally, she reached the caller, who was sitting in her throne and looking at a newspaper.

"What is this?" Starlight pointed at an article. "What is this?"

Twilight's eyes drooped. "What's the matter, Starlight?"

"It's your Princess Luna, that's what. She's lost her mind."

"You would know about losing one's mind, don't you," Twilight remarked lazily.

Starlight ignored the comment. "Luna is not banning Clover the Clever's image from Celestia's School for Gifted Ponies."

"Unicorns," Twilight corrected.

"Whatever."

"Why would anyone ban Clover? She was a great witch and a wise one at that."

Starlight shoved the newspaper into Twilight's face. "Because Clover is a racist! How can a modern, progressive Equestrian society honor such filth? It's a disgrace."

"But Clover was a progressive for her time. She was one of the first ponies to help end the Three Tribes and unite ponykind. How is she racist?"

"Should of known you were ignorant like Luna. You don't even that Clover thought earth ponies as 'mud ponies.'"

Twilight looked at her with a bemused expression. "Um, citation needed."

"Citation?" Starlight spat. "Sorry, but everypony knows about this except you apparently. She also worked with racist unicorns and the most racist of them all: Princess Platinum."

"Yeah, but they were racist because of their time. That's just how they were. The pegasi were even more racist than the unicorns. I mean, the pegasi would fly earth ponies up to Cloudsdale just to watch them fall through the clouds..."

"So? I'm sure the pegasi had their reasons, but the unicorns certainly did not! Clover had no reasons to belittle earth ponies or pegasi. She was racist, a jerk, and an imbecile!"

"Alright, let's say she was racist, but why should that be a reason to remove any image of her from campus?"

"Because it's offensive!"

Twilight frowned. "I knew that was going to be the answer."

"Why?" Starlight suddenly asked.

"Well, because everything that concerns you is about being offended," Twilight remarked.

"Well, that's not true, but in this case, yes. As a progressive society, we should eliminate any influence by those who are racist, offensive, or believe in outdated dogmas."

"Starlight, listen, we need to remember ponies, be them good or bad," Twilight said and leaned on her friend's shoulder.

"Why? That would only keep evil in the world."

"Not really. You see, ponies used to be a very savage race, especially in Clover's time. You have to admit, we are a lot better than what we were before. The reason for this is history. I mean, why do we teach history? Well, because we need to learn from the mistakes of others. It's actually that simple. For all we know, Clover could have been a complete racist, but that doesn't take away from her tremendous achievements. You wouldn't be able to um... 'help' minorities without her. Through history, we learn her mistakes and don't commit them and we learn about the good she did in her time and try to replicate that in our time. Discourage what should be discouraged and encourage what should be encouraged. Censoring it should not be the answer."

"Hmph, of course you think that," Starlight pushed her away. "Only a racist would want to keep racists in influence. Equestria is a racist country ruled by racist ponies. We need to remove Clover and have more statues of Hurricane, the true hero."

"Hurricane was a warmonger and a cruel ruler," Twilight rolled her eyes.

"He had a reason, he was the pegasus ruler in a time of being oppressed by unicorns."

"By the Sun! Starlight, the only reason you want him is because he's a pegasus, that's racist!"

"Only a racist would say that."

"Have you learned anything?"

"I've learned that I'll need more protests from my ponies and need more petitions on the internet! I won't stop until I...I mean we win! The equal ponies shall triumph once again! The Three Tribes still exist and need to be united!" 

Starlight took the newspaper and ran out of the throne room. Twilight's left eye twitched three times, each with a whole second between them. She heard the outraged pony yell at her newly acquired coltfriend before leaving. The pressure in Twilight's head was building, soon bursting out as she fell to her knees and faced the high crystal ceiling.

"Celestia, why do I have to be her damn teacher?" she screamed at the nothingness in utter desperation.


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