Utaan

by Imploding Colon


It's Mystical Mumbling Grandma Time

“Well, Miss Scootabelle, I can't say I've ever heard of the 'Church of Shipping.'” Reeds and Sweet's father smiled as he and Rainbow strolled along the inner balcony of the estate's second floor. “But it fills my heart with hope to think that the Kihutajan Archipelago has embraced some degree of spiritual awakening.”

“Heh... yeah, well...” Rainbow Dash shrugged, careful not to lose her conical hat to the mountain breezes. Beneath them, the servants had arranged a series of chairs and refreshment tables. Above, the sky was turning red with the advent of evening. The atmosphere of Kunmane was abuzz with joy and enchantment as one by one the paper lanterns were lit red, orange, and silver. “Shipping is as shipping does. I guess you could say that I'm on a long... epic quest for...” She fidgeted in midtrot. “...erm... Lunalestia glory...”

A lavender unicorn made a wretching sound behind her. Pinkie Pie giggled.

“Mmmm... and from your vague descriptions, am I to assume your belief is polytheistic?”

“Uhhhh... sure...?” Rainbow gulped. “Doesn't all of this—like—offend you?”

The stallion turned to smile at her. “And what makes you say that?” He raised an eyebrow. “Let me guess. You've encountered some... fundamentalist representatives of Verlaxion along your journey?”

“Well, not really, to be honest,” Rainbow said, blinking. “But, from my experience, the ponies of this world can be... pretty friggin' dedicated to their creed.”

“As it suits them,” he said with a nod. “However, I've always believed that no religion is worth dedicating oneself to if it means severely truncating the rights and securities of others—no matter what they believe.”

“Heh...” Rainbow Dash smirked. “I... kinda wish there were more families like yours in the world.”

“Verlaxion forbid!” the old stallion stammered, eyes wide. “The competition would wring our banks dry!”

“Eheheheh...”

“Ha ha ha ha ha...” He leaned against the wooden railing and sighed into the light of glowing lanterns. “But enough of that rambling. I want to thank you for helping Sweet and Reeds along their journey.”

“Helping them?” Rainbow leaned back, holding a hoof over her chest. “No offense, sir, but what did I do?”

“Stability comes from the most curious of places,” he said. “My children... have remained children.” A slight sigh. “And while that makes them all the more endearing in the eyes of my wife and I, I do feel like they could have used more... guidance. These trips to the fishing prefectures are certainly doing a lot to mold them. But what they need the most is a role model—and not one defined by monetary success.” He cleared his throat. “You're just the kind of personality that they can gleam wisdom from. You're not too jovial... and yet you're not too serious. You fall right down the center of the where Reeds and Sweet gravitate. That kind of strength is... infectious. Inspiring. I can already tell that they've learned more from this latest exodus than the last three years prior.”

“H-hey...” Rainbow smiled. “I'm super flattered. Really, I am.” Coughing, she adjusted her hat and lost her smile. “But... like... I'm not here to stay, sir. Truth is, I've gotta head north... and I gotta do so super quick.”

“Indeed. As I am quite aware.” He nodded. “And—as my chief blessing on Unification Day—I would like to assist you in that endeavor.” He smiled. “You are welcome to the food on our table, and extra blankets to keep you warm at night.”

“Well, that's super mega cool of you.”

“However...” The stallion raised a hoof. “No amount of provisions can make the journey easy,” he said. “The direction you are headed is difficult this time of year. Treacherous, even. I know you have your own priorities, but I would insist that you stay here—even throughout the Month of Thawing if need be—and wait for trade traffic to resume so you can enjoy the safety of numbers on the road.”

“And as much as I'd like to do that—”

“Aye. Time is of the essence.” He bowed slightly. “I may not understand your need for swiftness, my dear, but I shall honor it. I have many business partners among the Colonialists, but not until now have I had the pleasure of making a true acquaintance of one.”

“Believe me. The pleasure's all mine.” Rainbow smiled. “You won't believe how awesome it is to have ponies... wanting to lend...” She blinked, brow furrowed. “... ...a helping hoof...?”

The stallion had turned away from her, gazing worriedly at a servant who was shuffling towards them. A frazzled mare came to a stop, panting. “Master. I am so exceedingly sorry for interrupting...”

“What is it?” he asked.

“Well...” She glanced at Rainbow Dash, then at him. Biting her lip, she leaned in and whispered in his ear.

The stallion blinked... and then his eyes went wide. He leaned away from the servant, gawking at her.

The servant merely nodded.

“Is... something the matter?”

“No...” The stallion gulped. “Just... remarkable.” He bore a dazed grin as he turned towards her. “It would appear that the matriarch of the family would like to have a word with you.”

“Matriarch... of the family...?” Rainbow lisped. She blinked, and then her gaze fell upon the third story screened window overlooking the courtyard.


“Nana Pearl wants to see you?!” Sweet's voice echoed across the lush, furnished hallways of the estate.

“I guess so,” Rainbow said, marching along, following a servant down the corridor. “Is that a huge thing or...?”

Sweet and Reeds stumbled after her. “It most certainly is huge!” Reeds said. “She's the oldest, most important member of our family! Kunmane's elders all look up to her!”

“Ponies would gladly throw themselves off a cliff if it meant having an audience with Nana!” Sweet exclaimed. “She rarely ever sees anyone! And when she does, it's only through some super-duper rigid appointment scheduling!”

“So... like...” Rainbow Dash's muzzle scrunched as she passed dusty family portraits along the estate's third floor. “Why is she asking to see me?”

“I... don't know,” Reeds murmured. “But Nana Pearl is like that.”

“Like what?”

“She perceives stuff that the rest of us don't!” Sweet sang. “It comes with being older than boulders!”

“Sweet...” Reeds groaned.

“What? It rhymed! That means it's wise, right? Heehee!”

“Eugh...” Reeds face-hoofed, then smiled weakly in Rainbow's direction. “Some of us believe that all of the wisdom got soaked up in her, while the rest of us became rich idiots.”

“I dunno.” Rainbow smirked. “Your mom and dad seem alright.”

“Heeheehee!”

“Shhhh...” The servant reached the door up ahead. Quietly, she knocked on it, then stuck her head into a dark chamber beyond.

“Okies...” Sweet leaned in. “Remember... she's really quiet and... kinda mumbles at time. So you'll wanna tilt your ears towards her.”

“She also tends to go on wild tangents at time,” Reeds said. “Take it with a grain of salt.”

“And if she starts rambling about an epic war between the tribes, don't worry. It's probably just a book she read about.”

“And don't get her started on her cat that died fifty years ago—”

“Wait wait wait!” Rainbow wheezed, waving her forelimbs. “...I thought you said this mare was old and wise.”

“Oh, the wise stuff will hit ya when it hits ya,” Sweet said with a wink.

“Trust us. You'll know,” Reeds added.

“Very well then...” Rainbow Dash exhaled. “Time to get... pummeled by a great grandma.”

“Hehehe!”

The servant trotted back, turned with a smile, then bowed.

Reeds patted Rainbow's shoulder. “That's your cue.”

“Go knock her dead!” Sweet said, but winced. “Erm... but really don't, though!”

“Right...” Rainbow tilted her hat back and shuffled forward. “Here I go... anti-knocking...”

Rainbow passed on through the doorway... and the servant silently sealed her inside.


The first thing Rainbow noticed was the thick smell of incense. Tiny plumes of candle-light smoke billowed towards the ceiling on all corners of the heavily furnished room.

“Yowsers...” Pinkie waved a hoof in front of her muzzle.

“This place smells like Zecora's,” Twilight mused.

“It's...” Rarity squinted across the dim, dusky domain. “...it's so dark in here. Can anyone actually see her?”

“Uhm...” Fluttershy pointed. “She's over there. By the window.”

Rainbow squinted. Sure enough, across the way, she spotted a dark sihlouette against a series of criss-crossing white lines. A hunched-over equine figure sat before the window that overlooked the courtyard.

The pegasus gulped. “Uhmmm...”

“It's okay, child,” whispered a hoarse voice. “I know you feel a touch bit unsettled. So was I at your age. Being in the presence of old ponies can be... very awkward.” A slight wheezing sound. “...the key thing is to be young in your head... as long as you can. Then we are all the same... hmmm? Hmm-hmm-hmmm...”

Rainbow gulped. “And what if some of us are... old in the head?

“...well that's a damn cruel way to go about it.” A thin, wrinkly hoof lifted into the dusty light. “Do come closer, child.”

“Sure...” Rainbow took a single step.

“Watch your head. They won't hurt, but they might alarm you.”

“Huh?” Bonk! “Gah!” Rainbow jolted back, wincing. Her eyes focused on one of several dangling objects from the ceiling. It was the ornament of a crane—crafted out of delicately folded paper. As a matter of fact, multiple paper facades hung from the ceiling on string. When Rainbow so much as breathed near them, they all fluttered and shifted like a windblown flock.

“Sorry, Dashie,” Pinkie cooed. “I shoulda warned you, but... I'm just too busy staring at them...

“I know...” Rarity exhaled melodically. “What fabulous artwork!”

“It's a simple hobby of mine,” the old mare spoke, as if answering the spectral mane's statement. “Trust me. I'm only up here in this... proverbial damsel's tower because attempting to trot downstairs for a walk everyday would shatter my brittle bones. So, I've made myself quite the collection over the years.”

“It's... uh...” Rainbow gulped. “Pretty snazzy.” She bore an awkward smile as she hobbled over thick rugs and carpets to reach the large sofa where the old mare sat. “And must be good to fend off burglars, too. I'd walk miles to avoid a sea of papercuts, if I was a bandit.”

“I like your attempt at humor, child,” the old pony said. As Rainbow drew closer, she saw a sea of wrinkles swishing together to form a chin and muzzle. “It's like tapping your fetlock into the water.” A gentle exhale. “But we both know that you're capable of so... so much more.”

Rainbow shuffled to a stop, blinking. “I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.”

“You don't know? Or you don't want to know.”

“Uhhhhh...”

“Relax, child,” the mare said. “And you may sit down if you wish. You're in the safest place in all of Rohbredden. Trust me.”

Rainbow exchanged glances with her friends. At last, her gaze fell on Fluttershy.

Fluttershy sighed. “I can only sense them, Rainbow Dash.” She shook her head. “I can't sense their thoughts.”

“Just sit down, Rainbow,” Twilight said with a smile. “It'll be alright.”

So, nodding, Rainbow did. As soon as she was level with the hunched-over mare, she gave her a prolonged look.

The old pony stared into the light from the window... only she didn't. Her eyes were glazed over. Gray. There was no hint of pupils anymore. Not even an outline.

“My name... rather unfortunately... is 'Nana Pearl.'” Those wrinkles curved slowly. “However, it's what the children love, so I'm proud to wear it.” Her head leaned over, frazzled fibers flouncing. “What might your name be, child?”

Rainbow took a deep breath. “Scootabelle,” she said. “You can call me Scootabelle, ma'am.”

Pearl nodded. “Indeed I can.” Her lips pressed tighter. “But I asked you your name, child.”

Rarity and Pinkie winced.

Rainbow cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

“I think you know,” Peal wheezed. “I've lived long enough to know when ponies are lying to me. Even when they mean no harm. Did I or did I not tell you that this is the safest place in all of Rohbredden?”

Rainbow's brow furrowed. “Please forgive me if I find that hard to believe.”

“Mmmm... I do indeed forgive you.” The old mare nodded. “You've obviously bumped into a lot of unsavory rocks while drifting all the way here.” Her nostrils flared. “I smell the muck of the seas on you... the flakes of Rust... the salt of Shoggoth.” Her leafy ears twitched as she tilted her head to the side. “And... something else. Sweat... but thicker... like blood.” Her wrinkles went limp. “You carry much guilt on your poor flank, dear.”

Rainbow slowly nodded. “I'm guessing, at your age... you're well-acquainted with guilt.”

“Heh!” It was both a laugh and a cough. “As I am with shrugging it off.” She waved a gnarled hoof. “One learns to stop letting life be miserable—sins or no sins. Especially when one comes this close to the afterlife... and becomes wise enough to know that there likely isn't one.”

“Uhm, Nana Pearl, why exactly have you—?”

“Shhhh...” The old mare pivoted towards her. “Curiosity, my dear. As foalish as ever. Now... fear not...” She felt around until her wrinkled hooves met Rainbow's shoulder. “...stay still, if you will.”

“Uhm...” Rarity fidgeted. “Rainbow?”

“Shhhh...” Pinkie held a hoof before her muzzle. “None of my nerves are going off! Just relax, everypony...”

Rainbow did so to the best of her ability, even as Pearl's hooves felt around her neck, then up her face in gentle feathery brush strokes. Eventually, Rainbow's hat toppeled off, landing on the sofa between them. Rainbow clenched her teeth slightly, but allowed Pearl to brush her hooves over the rainbow stubble along her forehead and the back of her neck.

“Mmmmm...” Pearl bore a wrinkled frown. “...what a tragedy.”

“It was only necessa—”

“Shhhh!” Pearl insisted, making Rainbow shake. Her hooves traveled down Rainbow's neck, gently. Then, at last, they brushed the golden band of a necklace. Pearl paused... then parted the green collar of Rainbow's robe. At last, the aged fetlocks found their way to Rainbow's Element, touching the lightning bolt. Pearl let loose a deep grasp, her gray eyes widening. “Ah... there it is.”

“Uhm...” Rainbow gulped. “You okay? I... uh... d-don't wanna give you an accidental heart attack or some crud.”

“Mmmm... healthiest I've felt in years,” Pearl said. With motherly grace, she drew Rainbow's collar shut. “I knew that my great grandfoals brought something lively to Kunmane.” She felt around for Rainbow's fallen hat. “And believe you me... it wasn't Verlaxion's blessings.”

Rainbow picked the hat up and held it out to her. “What do you mean?” Rainbow squinted. “What exactly do you sense?

Change,” Pearl said, gently lifting the hat and placing it securely on Rainbow's head. “Where you come from, it must stand for balance and stability... but there's something about this world... this old, groaning world that speaks to me between the sighs.” She leaned back with a weathered smile. “It's really just an old mare. Like me. And her bones are all warm... and she has to turn over in bed to relax.”

“So...” Rainbow clicked her tongue. “...the whole world's a big wrinkly grandma having a perpetual nap?”

“Hah! And she's brash, too!” Pearl leaned back into the couch cushions with a sigh. “Please, child. I only let my children think they can outsmart me because it helps them feel secure. But you? You know more than you let on.”

“Yeah, well, intelligence isn't exactly my strong suit.”

“Experience would suggest otherwise.”

“Well, sure, but I'm all about moving from one place to another, ma'am,” Rainbow said. “Not all of us can just... stay in one place and get wise.”

“Aye. But ponies like me envy those who can do both.” Pearl's head tilted towards her. “And those who aren't alone... even when they are.”

Twilight and Rarity flashed Rainbow a surprised look.

Rainbow stared at the old mare. Swallowing, she murmured, “Just... who are you?

“Oh child...” Pearl shuddered. “I'm old. But you? You are made of something far... far older. And you're just now discovering that, aren't you?”

“... ... ...”

Pearl bore a wrinkly smile. “You won't be staying long. I know that.” With a slight groan, she leaned forward on her aching haunches. “Perhaps... you could use some advice on the road ahead?” He ears flicked. “The long... misty road... through the mountains...?”

Rainbow Dash twitched slightly. “You're... like... the best friggin' grandma ever.”

“Heheheh...” Pearl bore a gummy smile. “Baking cookies wouldn't help you get to where you need to go, now would it?”

“Yeah, but they'd help!” Pinkie chirped.

“Shhhhh...” Twilight waved a hoof. “Not now, Pinkie! Mystical talking grandma!”