Though the sounds of the city could still be heard—hollering of businessponies, rattling of taxi cart wheels, and general hullabaloo of Manehattan—there was a sense of peace and tranquility in the evening air. The smell of rich soil, ripening vegetables, and fresh herbs was all around Crystal as she sat in the little community garden.
Violet and Blue Belle played off to one side in an empty plot. Their pent-up energy was put to good use as their little hooves made steady work of the soil, turning it over when they would wrestle and stomping it flat when they would run. Petal supervised from her spot, perched on top of a juicy tomato.
Orchid Bouquet paused her work to wipe the sweat from her brow and looked over at Crystal with a smile. "I'm sorry. You were asking me something before this patch of weeds called my name?"
Crystal blinked, turning her attention away from the fillies. She had almost forgotten herself from watching their vivid imagination at play. Blue Belle was, currently, a three-headed lizard and Violet was a mouse with four wings. The roles seemed irrelevant as regardless of what they claimed to be, they just ran around until one tackled the other.
"Oh." Crystal blinked again, then smiled. "Oh, yes. I was just curious how this little garden came to be."
"I know!" Blue Belle squealed and bounded over. "Mommy beat up the city!"
Crystal's eyes went wide, but Bouquet laughed and said, "That's one way to look at it, I suppose." She shifted on her haunches to balance herself while she leaned over a raised plot of dirt, one hoof propped against the wooden planter. "I don't care for grocery stores, and the farmer's markets are too few and far between to feed my family fresh food."
Blue Belle sidled up to her mother, giggling. "F! F! F! What begins with F!" she singsonged.
"Yes, sweetie, Mommy used a lot of words starting with F. Now go play with your sister before she steals the green sapphire."
"Huh?" Blue Belle looked over at Violet. "No, she's tryinna steal the Great Cheese, not the green sapphire. The green sapphire was yesterday."
Bouquet patted her daughter on the head. "Well, then, go protect the Great Cheese."
"Okay!" Blue Belle chimed, bounding back off toward their empty plot.
Bouquet watched the two of them for a moment before she smiled and shook her head. "When Cocoa was born, I made the decision that it was time to do something about it."
Crystal shifted to sit more comfortably on the makeshift seat of a paver stone and nodded.
"This land used to be a clothing store that went out of business. The moment it did, I went to one of the town hall meetings to argue that it should become a community garden." Bouquet ran her hoof along one of the leaves of a nearby flowering bush. "I was laughed at, at first. So, while it was still unoccupied, I set up a little garden right outside. It was very small, just a couple of planter boxes, but I went around to the ponies in the nearby apartments and offered to sell them a box."
Bouquet wiped her brow again and continued, "Most ponies weren't interested because they didn't have the time to garden, they said. They argued the grocery store was easier. Of course, that was short-sighted thinking on their part! But I didn't get mad. I changed my offer." She chuckled. "I'd maintain their planter for them and grow whatever they liked, and they only had to pay for the produce they wanted. That idea stuck."
A buzzing sound caught Crystal's ear and she glanced away to watch Petal flinging herself from plant to plant, chasing after a butterfly, using her wings—which Crystal didn't really realize the mantis even had—to move along faster.
"You can attest to it." Bouquet's gaze shifted to her and Crystal quickly snapped her own forward to make eye contact. "Tea made from fresh herbs has a much stronger, more vibrant flavor. Apply that to all of your food and you realize the beauty in fresh produce."
Crystal bobbed her head. "Oh, yes. Your chamomile tea was one of the finest I've ever had!"
Bouquet clapped her hooves to dust them off and smiled. "When somepony wanted to buy the store, I closed up shop. It didn't take long for the ponies to make a pretty loud case for the community garden." She gestured at their surroundings with both hooves. "I won! And now I can provide for my family, both in finances and in food."
Crystal giggled softly. "That's amazing, you've accomplished so much!" She looked around at the lush vegetation, organized into a grid of separated, raised plots. "It's something to really, truly be proud of."
"Oh, and I am." Bouquet chuckled. She stood up and walked over to where her fillies were currently, as one had exclaimed, digging to the center of the world. They had accomplished a few inches before Bouquet scooped them up. "Now, now, girls, we talked about this. No digging unless it's for planting."
"Aww..." Blue Belle squirmed in her mother's grasp. "You're no fun, Mom!"
"No fun!" Violet squeaked, mirroring the squirming.
Bouquet walked back to Crystal, both fillies held to her chest with one foreleg. "Sounds like someponies are ready for bed. Crystal, do you mind watching Petal for me while I take Belle and Vi up to their rooms?"
Crystal nodded. "Certainly!" As soon as she said the word, she looked around. "As soon as I find her."
Bouquet laughed and started toward the gate that led out of the garden. "That's half of the fun! I'll be back shortly."
Crystal furrowed her brow. "Petal?" She stood up and walked slowly down one of the rows. "Petal, I—" Something crunched under one of her hooves and she squealed in surprise, jumped back, and looked down.
A beetle. She had stepped on a beetle. She shuddered as the sound replayed in her mind and her hoof felt the sensation all over again. Perhaps gardening was, in fact, not for her.
Petal buzzed into view, leaping from somewhere behind her to land on the path. Her forelegs shot out and she grabbed the beetle, held it close, and enjoyed the snack.
Crystal scrunched up her nose. "Oh, Petal, that's absolutely gross." She sat down on the nearest planter's edge. "But at least I know where you are, so don't wander off."
The mantis's head rotated to look at Crystal with unblinking eyes, then she took another bite.
"Can you, oh, nevermind. I'll just look away." Crystal cleared her throat, shifting her gaze to the nearest plant. "Well, Petal, your owner—"
Petal's wings buzzed with indignation. Or by coincidence. Crystal was still uncertain of how much attention the mantis really paid to her.
"I suppose you're right. She did say you were a member of the family. Your mother, then?" No buzzing interrupted her, so she nodded and continued, "Yes, your mother. Your mother is a very impressive mare."
Petal finished her meal and meandered in Crystal's general direction.
"I'm not sure if I have anything close to her strength of will." She sighed and tilted her head back to look at the sky. "Sunset Coffee had a good point last night, though it may not have been his intent to make it. It won't do much good to remove the anonymity if C.W. Step isn't really worth becoming... but I don't know if I want to spend all of my time away from home. Now, I'm frankly not sure what I want to do."
Petal climbed onto the planter edge and nestled into a knot in the wood beside her. The mantis ran its forelegs across its face and pulled its antennae down, seeming to be cleaning herself.
Crystal watched her a moment, then sighed. "I would gladly trade my life for yours. You don't seem to have much stress at all."
"Actually," Bouquet's voice came from behind her, "Petal is fairly high anxiety."
Crystal's ears shot straight up and she turned her head to look at the mare with wide eyes. "Oh! I'm sorry!"
Bouquet chuckled. "It's all right. Petal is a wonderful listener, so it's no surprise that you'd find yourself talking to her." She sat down beside Crystal with Petal in between them. "Now, why don't you try talking to something that can actually talk back?"
Crystal swallowed, shaking her head. "It's quite all right. I was just occupying my time."
"Hmm." Bouquet raised one brow. "But didn't I just hear you saying you wanted to become a mantis to avoid stress?"
"Well, yes." Crystal twiddled her hooves. "That is true."
Bouquet waited patiently before she pressed, "The fillies are tucked into bed, Cocoa doesn't want my company anyway, and Sunset's busy with one of his little hobbies. You're not keeping me from anything."
Crystal flashed a playful smile at the mare. "But we only just met! That seems awful fast to suddenly unload my problems on you."
"Hon, I have three fillies," Bouquet said, putting a hoof on Crystal's shoulder. "Cocoa complains about me, Blue Belle complains about Violet, and Violet complains about Blue Belle. I would love to hear complaints of substance that I can actually do something about."
Crystal eyed her, then nodded. "Well, all right." She folded her hooves in her lap and sighed. "The reason I came to visit was chiefly to talk to Sunset about my career." Her ears drooped. "Or, perhaps, lack of one."
"Lack of one?" Bouquet blinked. "You've published two novels and are working on a third, from what Sunset's told me. Not to mention your serials in his Mares Monthly."
Crystal shrugged. Her ear twitched and she looked down to spy Petal assuming her floral disguise, splaying her legs and wings to resemble an orchid bloom. "I suppose. But I'm certainly not a famous author. I think I forgot that when I thought attaching my name to C.W. Step's would get me anywhere."
Bouquet let out a heavy sigh and raised her hoof to put it instead on Crystal's head. "That's how the world works. You get out what you put in." She turned her head to survey the garden. "Do you think it was easy maintaining the planters it took to sway the ponies of this neighborhood to my side of things? Sunset practically raised Cocoa on his own because I was here, outside the store, tending to tens of planters."
Crystal winced, but kept quiet. Bouquet didn't give her much of an opening to speak, anyway.
"Those planters grew into a whole community garden. Granted, in a city this size it's not very big, and ponies on the other side of town certainly don't know my name. But I didn't do this for fame. I did it because I believed in it, because I'm passionate about it, and because it's what's important to me." Her piercing yellow gaze shifted to look at Crystal. "Are you after fame, or passion?"
Crystal tried to hold the mare's gaze but flinched away and sighed. "I—I don't know."
A gentle smile lit up Bouquet's otherwise serious expression. "Then you have your answer."
"But," Crystal said, raising her head back up and making eye contact again. "I don't want to become complacent. My friend and my fiancé work hard for what they have, and I cannot in full confidence say that I work hard. I work, but I dilly dally sometimes." She shook her head. "I'm not content with that anymore."
Bouquet hummed in thought. Her hoof slid down from Crystal's head to pause at her shoulder, gave it a squeeze, then moved to rest in her own lap. "Then work hard. You're a smart, young mare." She chuckled. "Not too much younger than Sunset and me, actually, if I remember correctly. You've got plenty of time to figure out what you really want. But in the meantime, nothing bad can come of just working hard and worrying about who C.W. Step is later."
Crystal looked back up at the sky, smiling softly. "Then I'll work hard."
"I'm sure Sunset will be happy to hear that." She rose to her hooves and offered one to Crystal. "Come on, then. Let's wind down the evening with some tea."
---
"Nooo!" Blue Belle clung to one of Crystal's legs. "No, Cryssi can't go home!"
"No, Cryssi!" Violet cried, her forelegs wrapped tightly around Crystal's tail.
They all stood in what would have been a foyer in a larger home, Crystal with her back to the door, the large overnight bag at her side, and Sunset's family standing in a semi-circle around her. It had only been a few days, but the fillies' crocodile tears already tugged at her heartstrings.
Orchid Bouquet surveyed the impending tantrum with mild amusement tugging at the corners of her lips. "Girls, it's not too late for me to rescind the acceptance of Cryssi's gifts."
Blue Belle gasped and flung all of her legs in different directions to let go of Crystal as quickly as possible. "Cryssi can go home!"
Violet ran over to stand beside her sister. "Bye, Cryssi!"
Cocoa glanced between her family members, a light scowl showing on her face, until she met Crystal's gaze and her expression relaxed. "Hey, um, if I want more of that lotion, can you send me some?"
Bouquet frowned and warned, "Cocoa..."
Cocoa's ears pinned back. "What? So one gift is okay but two isn't?"
"The first taste is always free." Sunset chuckled from his spot at Bouquet's side, grunting when the mare jabbed him in the ribs. "I mean, Cocoa, you can do chores to earn bits that we can send to Crystal for more beauty products."
"Fine," Cocoa grumbled, staring at the floor.
Crystal's gaze wandered across their faces and warmth spread throughout her chest. "I'll be sure to come visit again," she promised in a soft voice. "Sunset, you have a wonderful family, and I'm terribly sorry I haven't taken any of your invitations before now."
Sunset waved a hoof. "Think nothing of it at all! Just have a safe trip back to Canterlot, and write to me when you've made a decision, all right?"
"I will." She leaned down and placed a kiss on Blue Bell's forehead, followed by Violet. "You two be sweethearts for your parents, all right?"
"Okay, Cryssi." Blue Belle drew a hoof across her hoof. "Flower power promise!"
"Flower power!" Violet chimed, mimicking the motion.
Crystal turned her attention to Cocoa. "It was nice to meet you, Cocoa."
"Yeah." Cocoa shuffled her hooves. "You, too, Miss Crystal."
Sunset took a step forward. "All right, we should get you to the train station before you end up being stuck here until the next one." He glanced over his shoulder. "Girls, behave for your mother while I'm gone."
Crystal breathed in, held it, and released a sigh but smiled nonetheless. "Goodbye!"
Her magic levitated the bag and she followed Sunset out of the apartment while a chorus of the two fillies reciprocated the word and Bouquet waved. Petal sat on the waving hoof, moving her own foreleg in a similar gesture.
Once they were a few paces down the hall, Sunset cleared his throat and said, "So, Bouqy didn't spook you too much, I hope?"
Crystal blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Ah, she's, well, a strong proponent for mare power and whatnot." He eyed her cautiously. "I know you and her had a talk about what you originally came here for the other night. She came into bed and said—" He cleared his throat and mimicked, "Hello, honey, I took care of the problem that you left hanging. You're welcome." He shook his head, chuckling. "Sorry if I gave you too many second thoughts, but I can only imagine and fear what she might have said to you. She can come on a little too strong sometimes."
"Oh." Crystal laughed and shook her head. "Oh, no. Actually, she gave me some much needed perspective on everything, no offense intended, of course." She stepped inside the elevator and watched him effortlessly pull the lever down. "I don't think I'm ready to be C.W. Step yet because she's not yet somepony I would be proud to say I am."
Sunset blinked. "Er, well, I—"
"So," Crystal continued, giggling, "I think what I need to do in the meantime is figure out what I'm willing to do in order to make C.W. Step the pony I want to be. I'm not sure if I'm ready just yet to go to all sorts of conventions every year and do constant book signings. I have a wedding to plan, after all."
The elevator dinged to announce their arrival and the doors slid open to reveal the lobby. Sunset bobbed his head as they walked out and toward the doors. "Understandable. Well, interviews are fairly non-invasive. When you release Her Silent Love, I'll see who I can book to do a few of those. I'll also see if there are any other avenues in Mares Monthly we can take advantage of." He put a hoof on her shoulder. "As long as that's what you want to do."
Crystal puffed out her chest and gave a firm nod. "That seems like as good a start as any to me. And fairly noninvasive."
"Great!" He held the door open for her. "Be sure to take a look at the notes I left on the drafts. I think you've got a real winner with that Autumn Leaves one about the ponies growing old together." He let out a wistful sigh. "It even got Bouqy feeling whimsical when I read some of it to her!"
Crystal's face grew hot and she jerked her head to the side. "O-oh, well, that one is admittedly a little different from my normal work, but—"
"Different is good! Sometimes. Not all the time. Okay, often times, publishers are very wary of different." He winked. "But you have good enough of a track record, so I'm sure I can pitch it to Kahuna no problem."
A smile crept onto Crystal's lips. She stopped in her tracks, and when Sunset paused as well to turn toward her, she wrapped a foreleg around his neck in a hug. "Thank you, Sunset. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me."
Sunset chuckled and returned the embrace with both of his forelegs, giving her a tight squeeze. "Hey! You picked me to be your agent, and I believe in only the best for my clients! Now, there's time to be sentimental later. I actually do think we're going to be late for the train at this rate."
Crystal giggled when he started to trot and she hurried after him. "All right, all right. If you're that desperate to be rid of me then let's not dawdle."
"Hey, don't put words in my mouth! That's my wife's job." He grinned at her and they shared a laugh.
She would definitely have to stay with his family the next time she came to Manehattan for a meeting. In the near future, however, she just wanted to get home and climb into her own bed.
Oh stars above, this chapter was sweet. I like Sunsets family. the Fillies are adorable, and his wife has a good head on her shoulders. Abit eccentric, but then again Eccentrics can be the best people, or in this case ponies to be around in any form. I like the mantis too. Just.. love for the whole chapter. Its good to see that they cleared her head of the fog Au caused with her remarks. Cant wait for the next chapter.
Well this read is getting more and more daunting. Anyone able to give a review before I crack this one open?
Confession that I had forgotten who Petal was at first and when it said she was was sitting on a tomato I was totally confused. Also, Sunset's family is the best! Loved the chapter!
6506249 If it's any consolation, the story is drawing to a close. I think there's about 10-15 chapters of content left, and considering I update twice a week, it won't be long before I get to stamp that big ol' Completed tag on there.
As for a review... Yes, readers, someone go ahead and take the bait. You can be honest. I definitely won't hold it against you.
*refreshing intensifies*
That's a pretty sweet chapters!
6506267
I didnt mean to bait your readers, I just have seen stories this long with this many likes and have found myself less than connected after the first few chapters. Also, how do you find the way to post twice a week? I have issues doing it once a month and even then I have a lot of writer's block issues. How have you managed to overcome that obstacle?
6506371 Oh, I meant "bait" wholly teasingly. Sorry. I just now realized that could be taken way not how I meant it!
Erm... Good question! I ask myself the same thing. Sheer force of will, support of readers, and pure unadulterated love for my characters? ... That's the best answer I've got...
All. Hail. Orchid Bouquet! Donna of the 18th Borrow, She With the Green Hoof, Master of the Dread Beast Petal! If I am reading this correctly she basically took over a building and now runs her own business out of it while convincing the rest of the neighborhood it is a public service she should be paid for.
Oh boy, for a moment there I thought that things were about to get super interesting for Crystal. As in hopping on the nearest ship headed to distant lands. *whew*
For some reason I thought that Cocoa was a teenager. <Crystal Wishes clarification edit> Aliens.
The Smeagol Dilemma, which precious to cling to.
If you have or want balls of steel maybe you could be a beta tester for Runic in exchange for product.
Your stallion is in another castle!
Crystal sidles up to Sunset and whispers in his ear, "I'm going to have to stop publishing pieces for Cosmarepolitan."
:velvet: Crystal! Stop! Don't go in your room!
:crystal: *groans* Velvet I'm bushed, can't this wait until later?
:velvet: *staring at the floor* You really don't want to be in that bed right now.
6506389
Still those are rather important points.
6506418 crap crap crap
I didn't make a big mistake shhh
excuse me while I go fix it ahhh
[edit] Actually we're okay hahaaa :D shhh. I'll respond in the impending round-up and leave this comment here as a reminder to myself that I should check first before I comment with my panic.
6506246 I'm so glad you like it! Yes, Bouquet is definitely supposed to be a little eccentric. She's an environmental activist hippie who is proud of herself and her accomplishments (she would argue deservedly so)... and she comes on a little strong about it sometimes.
6506250 Petal will remember this. And Petal, unlike you, will not soon forget.
6506259 The story is going to be ending semi-soon, so yes, we are winding down the plots... oh, but don't get comfortable just yet, the ride's not over. (But it almost is.)
6506296 Glad you liked it!
6506418 Okay. *ahem* Panic aside.
Yeah, basically, Bouquet takes advantage of, more or less, that businessponies are too busy to garden themselves, so she charges 'em for it. That's what they pay her for, and she is more than happy to take their money!
HAH! Psych!
Cocoa is more of a pre-teen here, maybe our equivalent of 13 or so. Sunset's already said he's not much older than Crystal when they first met, and Bouquet's not too much older than him. Which means, of course, that they had Cocoa when they were preeetty young! I don't like to put human ages to things but I imagine Crystal as around 22. I also consider high school in Canterlot to be more like a community college kind of thing, as since Sunset pointed out, Canterlot keeps ponies in school the longest. So, Sunset would be roughly 29, Bouquet would be 31, and (if we're using these numbers as exact, which I really don't intend, just frame of reference) she had Cocoa when she was 18. Again, I don't like the implications of exact ages, but just to put it in perspective of how I intend things. Bouquet, of course, would claim that she's younger.
And to the rest... Oh, you.
Normally I would jump to give a review but this chapter was pretty smooth sailing. No cliffhanger, no additional sub-plots. Just some simple self-discovery. It was very sweet and I'll admit I also wondered how some pony fit on a tomato until I realized what Petal was. It's nice she's taken care of her professional life but I'd call that nearly half the issue, next up is her personal life which we know will take a while to sort out .
It's nice to see another happy family in the story. Since in the beginning every family we saw had stuck up parents or good ponys with stuck up children (fancy pants). Velvets family was our first happy family, but sunsets family gives off a different vibe with the younger children an but sunsets family gives off a different vibe with the younger children and inner-city lifestyle.
I love how In equestria everybody gets a different species for a pet. I don't think there are two pets that are the same species , now I want a pet fox
6506478
About the ages you gave, the 22 for Crystal is right at the maximum I figured she would be at this point. I based this on the whole you just graduated and its an okay time to play some sports in the bakery now. Adding this to a minimum aged teenager (13) and the whole barely younger thing lept out at me. I know that my grandma was always 29 and a half whenever she was asked so I figured it could be something similar, but you know me, I had to know.
6506489 I much prefer writing pure slice of life chapters, honestly. There so calming to write!
Aggh! Poor Petal! I mean, it was only two days ago that we met her and she is already forgotten...
Ahh, yes, I love showing the different cultures. I much prefer Velvet and Sunset's families' dynamics. A lot more fun to write, that's for sure!
And... yes, I would agree, she's not problem-free as of yet!
6506524 No problem. Honestly, I don't like applying human ages to ponies. There's baby, foal, older foal (a la Fluttershy in the flashbacks), young adult, adult, and Granny Smith. They just evolve like Pokemon! And, yes, honestly, I don't really want to call Canterlot Academy high school at all. What I read in the comics and how I've decided to perceive it, Earth "high school" vs. Equestria "high school" are different.
And... yes, there is definitely a bit of "I'm 29 forever" going on with Bouquet.
6506549 It's okay! There will absolutely, definitely be a sequel.
6506478 Petal would make a *formidable enemy.
*at least for a beetle*
6506489 So glad I'm not the only one who forgot Petal for a minute
6506684 [indignant buzzing approaches]
6506691 I completely understand. Think of it like a new season of a TV series! The story will pick up not too long after where this one leaves off. The main reason for marking this one as complete is that the tone is going to shift and people who like this story may not necessarily like the sequel, so I'll put a ribbon on this one before the tonal shift and people who don't like the sequel will still feel like they got a complete story.
The secondary reason is people are already daunted by 100,000 word stories. Moreso by 300,000. If I combined what I have for the sequel and this one, oh gosh. No one would ever read it. Honestly, if I could go back in time, I'd have published this as separate stories into the various major arcs (fillyhood, "teen", "young adult"... or whatever) but I never planned for this to get so long, and it's too late now.
[edit] ahahah! comment #3,500 is mine! MINE!!
Darn, if i got home a little sooner I could have made the 3500th comment! NOOO!!!!
Is the tonal shift similar to what we've seen between Memories and Secrets? If I had to put it into words I'd call Secrets more "nitty gritty" and Memoirs more "back when life was somewhat simple"
6506732 *Screams of terror*
6506789 Mwuahah! The 0s shall be mine! All mine!
I definitely don't want to spoil too much but the least spoiler-y, teasing way I can say it is Silent's choices in life will greatly impact Crystal, for better and for worse. I just hope folks will trust me and my overall desire for happy endings enough to make it through the lows to get to the highs.
Please, please, please tell me she meets Prince Blueblood at some point.
6506809 (Hi! I think you're a new name! If you're not, ahh, I apologize!) If by she you mean Crystal and at some point you mean before this chapter then, yes, there is one direct encounter with Blueblood.
I'm suddenly picturing her introducing Silent to Sunset and his family. That interaction would amusing, especially considering Silent's track record when it comes to interacting with foals (which ironically have mostly been fillies).
6506837 Mares (and fillies) rule the world!
6506732
My name is Posted and I am an (abnormal) reader. Let me tell you a tale from ye olde fiction site that shall not be named. To find something to read I used to search for stories only over 50,000, 100,000 words etc. Typically you can tell the quality of a story within the first few hundred to few thousand words. By applying this to large stories I wasn't really losing any time testing the waters and if I found a gem I had plenty more to enjoy.
That is why I probably squealed when I found this series from the update featured box (Princess Luna and Royal Guard shenanigans) with the original headline name I was quite pleased.
6506809 she already did. That's where she got the inspiration for her first book, silly!
6506866 Well, I'm glad we could make you squeal.
6506911 May not be much? You're mistaken! I value and cherish all of you who support me, which is rather self-serving and egotistical, but I need all the ego I can get. I never thought I'd end up with folks who would say things like you, and I'm very, very grateful for it.
And lo, does Crystal Wishes begin the first step in her quest to find her true self.
And that first step is, of course, to go back to Canterlot and get a pizza.
D'aww.. the kids like her. :P
Well it's good that Crystal has gained some clarity in the direction she wants to go. I would still like to see her reveal herself to her fans. That would be truly interesting to see. In the meantime I wonder what she has planned for that concept story...
The mantis was lovely. Also I loved the children's reaction to Crystal leaving, as soon as the gifts were threatened they jumped ship.
Farming, flowers, stuff like that I presume.
Interesting backstory behind the community garden.
Petal is best bug. Sorry, various changeling OCs, you're mostly just not cute.
Pretty decent advice.
With this new plan of doing a few interviews and similar promotion work, I wonder if there's any chance Crystal's identity might leak.
6507076 A pizza... dat ass? no? no, you were being serious about the pizza this time? oh, this is awkward.
6507118 But they like gifts more!
6507424 Crystal will still probably definitely reveal herself (or be revealed, can't rule that out per se) eventually, but it'll be on her own terms (if she's the one who does it), not Au's. Unless... (See below...)
6507850 I'm going to miss writing Petal. She was such a sassy little mantis.
6508043 Hahah, I almost hesitated on using the little Dr. Seuss thing (that alphabet book was my favorite book as a kid, and then I became super sensitive to any string of sentences starting or containing similar sounds... okay I overreached a little on that one) given, well, F, but I couldn't resist the temptation!
Glad you found it interesting! I sent it to a few friends to gauge if it was worth including, because *I* find it interesting but I also find most things my characters do interesting.
Yay! Petal shall soon take over the world! [buzz, buzz]
If this were a soap opera, I know exactly how it would go down: Just as Crystal increases C.W. Step's popularity, suddenly the identity is revealed... to be Au?! *dun dun dun* Everypony praises her for how hard she works to be both a model and an author, and she explains that to keep her secret she paid "a friend" to go in her place to conventions and the like. And when Crystal goes to confront Au (in the rain, of course, with their manes whipping in the wind) she asks her why, why is she doing this. "Because... I love you! I wanted you to notice me, senpai!"
And then they kiss.
... Crap, I'd probably have a ton more upvotes if I went that route.
6506249 Bah humbug, I guess me responding has chased folks away. And I was looking forward to seeing if today was going to be spent eating ice cream happily, or crying into it.
Well, I'll try to be as frank and unbiased as possible.
First and foremost this is a low stakes slice of life. There's no saving Equestria or major, widespread conflicts. Almost all of the conflicts are internal to Crystal, or external, like between Crystal and her mother. The story starts with her as a filly and goes from there, following her as she and her goals/aspirations mature. This is not for everyone and I wholly recognize that. I think there is one action scene when the changelings attack but even that is kept light. On the whole, the story is upbeat, save for the necessary downswings, but the tone is fairly positive throughout.
The chief complaint I receive is regarding the descriptiveness of my writing style. I actively try to work on that but I do still get it from time to time. I am certainly no Tolkien; I have been told before that it's closer to Hemingway, with few adornments. I focus on character interactions, which is chiefly (but not entirely) dialogue. There is some intentional stylistic choice (when she is a filly, she is less aware of her surroundings, so things are described more simplistic and I actively work to be more introspective as she grows older) but there is also the fact that I will probably not go into too much detail, for better or for worse.
My strength, in a wholly non-egotistical way, is characterization. I have a wide cast of characters and I like to think that they all have some depth to them, even if they had to grow into it. Crystal's parents started off very one-dimensionally—both because, again, we are somewhat skewed by Crystal's perspective and in the beginning she is still a filly and therefore would view them in a slanted light (and I was still getting my feet wet with the idea of "changing canon characters")—and slowly we see more layers to them, positive and negative. There are folks who absolutely despise Upper Crust, and there are those who can actually understand and, to some degree, appreciate where she's coming from (even if they disagree).
The storytelling is not traditional. I recently heard about this. It does not follow the exact path of build-up, climax, resolution, and fall. The path Crystal follows is more fluid, because I take slice of life at its face value: Crystal's life doesn't have a single rising climax that then resolves, but her life is instead made up of several highs, lows, and calms. This may be a turn-off for some folks so it's worth mentioning.
So, in short, if you're interested in a story about characters, getting interested in them, and seeing how their lives play out, and like a strong dash of romance to go with that, then this may pique your interest. If not, then, well, thanks for dropping in and I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors.
6508145
Crystal, when am I ever not serious about pizza.
You know, besides never? Because, heinie on occasion? Heinie some of the time?
No!
Heinie all day every day.
6508169
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TL:DR, It's a Slice of Life following Crystal, without any humans, adventure, gods, horror, sex(Sadly ), and only a bit of stress and drama here and there.
6509889 Chivalry asked for a review, and considering I'm the least reliable source, I wanted to try to be holistic and fair.
ok so today's episode.... diamond tiaras' mom = crystal's mom
6512991 Haha yeah, so glad I published this story well before the episode otherwise in some regards... well... I mean, come on! Horsey stood up to Golden Pants. And Spoiled Rich vs. Upper Crust. And I laughed aloud when Diamond Tiara said "high horse"...
6508169 I wish I could know that much about my own writing. Crystal, why u so clever?
6524032 It helps to be on a site with vocal critics that are more than happy to point out anything they don't like... That, and to have low self-esteem. It makes you overly self-critical, and remember anything and everything people say.
You know, if I went in and asked what this story is about and got this response... I actually wouldn't start reading it. I don't even know what to think about that realization. It's kinda weird, isn't it
6506866
I employ a similar method!
…And that's my first real gripe with this story so far: Why would someone from the alternative spectrum be a mares' rights activist in a matriarchal society? Aren't the mares and fillies the ones in power in Equestria anyways? I mean we have man's rights activists on (patriarchal) western earth as well, but they're usually backwards, reactionary conservatives. Which doesn't reconcile at all with my image of Orchid Bouquet so far—she's awesome! Hmm.
Aaanyways, much kudos for your story so far—the only reason I haven't commented earlier is that I only started reading a few days ago, and every time I thought about commenting, the devil on my left shoulder told me I could immediately continue reading instead as well… and I'm just to weak to refuse him. At least when it comes to a squee-inducing piece of adorableness such as this story
Come to think of it, I'd probably stand in line at CW's booth as well, waiting for an autograph, wearing a hoodie with the hood up On the other hoof, I do have ponies on my desk at work, so maybe I'm not that easily embarrassed either
6697265 I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!
Bouqy is an advocate for mare power—as in, empowerment of mares, which in our world is strongly tied to rights activists, but Sunset said that in a different societal context (as you noted). It is a much more mare-empowered society but that doesn't stop ponies like Horsey and whatnot from being reserved, shy, self-doubting, etc. Bouqy would strongly fight for Horsey to stick that chin up, puff out that chest, and walk with the confidence of the beautiful mare she is, because mares rule the world and they should all be treated like princesses.
Does that make more sense?
6764060 Someone is sleeping on the couch. XD
6573083 This really isn't a front-loaded kind of story, with a deviously effective hook and reader-mugging in nature. It doesn't - maybe can't - use bells and whistles for an attention grab. Fewer people will chance the first reading, because that's the nature of the story. That said, having started on the most fleeting of whims - remember, no great hook is at work here - C'sW's has readily become a high favourite of mine, and I would believe it's the same for other readers, too.
The story grows, slowly and lovely.
Orchid's garden is a fine metaphor for it - you wouldn't know you want it until you have it
I loved this detour, by the way, CW, you make characters so very well
I think Petal is sentient, personally. After all in the show Fluttershy's friendly spider was, so why not a mantis?
Also, all these amazing, original, well-written pony characters and in my eyes the star of the last two chapters was a bug. Crystal... HOW DO YOU DO IT?
Ok, I gotta ask... did you model Blue Belle and Violet after Ayame and Suzume from Rurouni Kenshin?