• Published 20th Aug 2012
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MLP: FML - Maniac92



An insane parody of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

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Rarity's (Self-Imposed) Fashion Challenge

Rarity smiled at the picture in front of her. “Yes! This is fantastic! I will be sure to impress at the Gala now. This is the BEST DRESS DESIGN-”

Opalescence, her cat, meowed.

“What was that?” asked Rarity, turning to look at the cat.

Opal meowed again.

“Really?” asked Rarity. She grabbed her glasses off the table and put them on. She looked closely at the picture. “Oh, you’re right! This is a page out of a coloring book.” She crumpled the paper and threw it behind her. She looked at her desk and grabbed a picture of a dress. “Ok, where was I?”

Opal meowed.

“Right.” She cleared her throat. “This is the BEST DRESS DESIGN EVER!” She turned and looked at her room. Designs, fabrics, and parts of dresses were everywhere. Rarity couldn’t even see the floor with how much junk was covering it. “Hmm…perhaps I should clean at some point…” She paused, then shrugged. “Oh well, I’ll make Sweetie Belle do it the next time she visits.”

She glanced at her design and sighed. “It’s going to take a while to make this dress…If only Sweetie Belle was here now! I’d make her work on it.” She frowned. “But according to that police officer, child labor is now ‘illegal’.” She sighed. “Where are we, Communist Russia?” Rarity glanced at Opal and grinned. “Animal labor, however…” She cleared her throat. “Oh, Opal-Wopal! Mommy needs you!”

Opal hissed at Rarity and took a swipe at her. Rarity quickly jumped back to avoid the cat’s claws.

“Ha!” laughed the unicorn. “Better luck next time!” Blood started squirting out of Rarity’s neck. She stared at the cuts on her body and turned to glare at Opal. “Touché,” she said, before passing out.

One trip to the hospital later:

“Ok!” said Rarity, who had bandages around her neck. “This dress is going to get made!” She grabbed a needle and thread and moved towards the fabric she had placed on a mannequin. She slowly moved the needle close to the fabric. “Carefully…carefully…” She muttered.

The door slammed open, causing Rarity to stab herself in the arm with the needle.

“RARITY!” yelled Applejack as she and Twilight walked inside.

“Applejack?” asked Twilight, who was wearing saddlebags. “Is it really ok for you to barge in like this?”

“Of course!” said the earth pony. “Rarity and Ah kissed before and Granny says that means we’re married! And would you doubt the wisdom of Granny Smith?”

Meanwhile:

Back on Sweet Apple Acres, Granny Smith was staring at her pills, confused. “Now, how much do Ah have to take again?” She shrugged and grabbed a handful of pills. “Ah bet if Ah take this many, Ah’ll get better ten times as fast!”

Back at the Boutique:

Rarity grabbed the needle and pulled it out of her arm, making blood squirt out. “Applejack, how many times have I told you not to make me stab myself?”

“Um…none,” answered Applejack.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you!” yelled Rarity, flailing her arms.

“Rarity,” interrupted Twilight, “What are you working on?”

Rarity smiled and said, “I’m making a dress for the Gala.”

Twilight stared at Rarity. “…The what?”

“The Gala,” repeated Rarity. “You know, the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“Oh yeah!” said Twilight. She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, that hasn’t been mentioned since that episode with the tickets so I forgot all about it.” She gasped suddenly. “Hey! Can you do me a favor?”

“Um…” began Rarity, “I don’t know…I mean, I am pretty busy with this dress, so-”

“Great!” said Twilight. She reached into her bag and threw something brown at Rarity. “Could you fix that for me?”

Rarity looked at what Twilight tossed at her. “…You want me to fix a burlap sack?” she asked.

Twilight laughed. “Oh, it’s not a burlap sack! It’s a traditional dress for students of the Princess. Celestia herself gave it to me.”

Meanwhile, in Canterlot:

Celestia laughed as she leaned back in her throne. “And then there was that one time I gave Twilight a burlap sack to wear! I told her it was some traditional garment, and she believed me! What a ditz!”

Luna looked up at Celestia, confused. She pointed at the burlap sack she was wearing, “Wait, so you mean this isn’t fashionable anymore?”

Back in the Boutique:

“Tell you what,” said Rarity, casually tossing the sack into the garbage, “I’ll make you a brand-new dress for the Gala!” She smiled at Applejack. “I’ll make you one too, Applejack.”

“Dress?” asked Applejack.

“Yes, dress!” said Rarity impatiently. “What, were you just going to go naked?”

“Uh, Ah mean, we do walk around naked,” said Applejack.

“Then it’s settled!” said Rarity, ignoring Applejack.

“It is?” asked the earth pony.

“INCOMING, MOTHERFUCKERS!” yelled a voice. Rainbow Dash crashed through the ceiling and landed on several mannequins. “Ow…” she muttered.

“Rainbow Dash!” yelled Rarity. “How many times have I told you to stop crashing through my ceiling?”

“The ceiling?” asked Rainbow, sitting up. She was wrapped in fabric and had a bucket on her head. “Never. You have yelled at me for crashing through windows, doors, trees, innocent bystanders, but never ceilings.”

Rarity sighed. “Forget it. Since you’re here, I’m going to make you a dress for the Gala as well.”

“A dress?!” asked Rainbow Dash incredulously. “I wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress! Those are for girls!”

“Um, dear?” asked Rarity. “You are a girl.”

“I am?” asked Rainbow. She looked down in between her legs. “Holy shit, how’d that happen?” She looked back up. “Fine, I’ll take your dress.”

“Great!” squealed Rarity. “I’ll make one for Pinkie and Fluttershy as well! And I’ll hold my own fashion show!”

“Are you sure you can handle it?” asked Twilight. “I mean, making dresses for six ponies?”

“Oh please!” said Rarity. “What on earth makes you think I can’t handle it?”

“You’re bleeding,” pointed out Twilight. “A lot.”

Rarity looked at her arm, which still had blood dripping down it. She shook her head and smiled at the others. “Details! This will be a great boost for business!”

“How do you make money, anyway?” asked Applejack. “No one in this town wears clothes.”

“AND it will be fun!” shouted Rarity, pointedly ignoring Applejack.

“I like fun!” said Rainbow Dash.

“Great!” said Rarity. “So you agree to stand still for hours while I measure you, see how you look in various colors, and make your dresses?”

“Yeah!” said Rainbow. Her eyes widened as she considered what was just said. “Wait, no!”

“Too late, you agreed!” said Rarity happily.

“Goddammit,” muttered the three other ponies.

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