Raven took a deep breath. It was that time again. Yup. She had to talk with the Equestrian news media. How fun... She never liked the media, and even less speaking with other ponies. Celestia often did this for her, but not today. Celestia had a sore throat. Or at least, that was what she said. Likelihood of that being false? Quite likely.
"Just talk normally to them!" Raven tried to sound positive.
With another deep breath, she stepped out and onto the stage that had a lone podium. In front of the stage were many, many ponies with notepads, phones, and cameras. Great. Some of them were known affiliates of Starlight. This was not going to be fun. However, Raven repeated the phrase in her head. Stay positive. Stay positive. Be nice.
She did not say anything as she took her position behind the podium. It was a bit tall for her, as it was meant for an alicorn. She adjusted her glasses bashfully and cleared her throat before she was ready, or at least, most ready, to receive the onslaught of questions and accusations.
"So...um, I have been told to tell you all that Princess Celestia did, in fact, did not eat the cucumber cake. And no, cucumbers are not a unicorn supremacist vegetable...er....fruit? Um, so what questions do you ha-"
"Secretary!" one pony has her hoof. "Is it true that Dragonlord Ember is using Celestia as a puppet ruler?"
"Heck no," Raven deadpanned. "Ember can't even get household plumbing in her lands, how can she make Celestia, the Princess of the Sun, her puppet? Ridiculous.
"Secretary!" another pony got her attention. "Are you suggesting that the Dragonlord is an incompetent ruler?"
"Eh, it's not my words. Sure. She's incompetent."
"Secretary!" a mare shouted unnecessarily loudly. "Does Princess Luna scaring little colts and fillies make her a danger to Equestria?"
"Wha....? That was on Nightmare Night, you moron," Raven said. Stay positive.
"Secretary!" a stallion jumped. "Is Princess Twilight trying to secretly usurp Celestia and Luna?"
"Well yeah, we kinda all know that already."
"Does Princess Celestia really hate pegasi?"
"Um...of course not. She likes all the races," Raven answered.
"Does that mean she is actively ignoring the pegasus issues in Cloudsdale and elsewhere?"
"No..."
"Is that why she hires more unicorns than earth ponies at the palace?"
"Wha...? Stop! You've had three questions, fool! I'm going to let another pony have a chance."
The stallion was offended. "That is not appropriate. You did not answer my question."
"Oh shut it you!" Rave snarled. Keep it positive.
"I ask that you answer my questions. Equestria needs to know whether Celestia has their best interest in mind."
"I'll answer them after I beat your ass outside after this!" Oh no.
"How dare you, secretary!"
"Just sit in the corner....and shut up!" Raven tried to fix what had sprouted from her mouth.
"Secretary!" a mare raised a hoof. "Are you really going to threaten journalists?"
"Yeah, you know what? I am! You all aren't giving me any decent questions. It's all about Celestia, not the economy, plans, or anything relevant. If you don't start giving me decent questions, I'll beat all your asses!!"
"Does this mean that Celestia hires brutes to further her alicorn supremacist agenda?"
"That's it!"
Raven then proceeded to beat all their asses. It would become a memorial day for all integral journalists in Equestria. Never forget. Journalists risk their lives daily to give the ponies the truth from the government. Who knows when an angry secretary would come out and just whoop you. It was an occupational hazard.
Just kidding. They got whooped and it was viewed on the internet countless times. Raven then got her own reality TV show.