//------------------------------// // Campus Ideology // Story: I'm Offensive and I Take Offense // by Gapeagle //------------------------------// "I think we should go over it one more time, Spike." "Aww! But Twilight, we've done it like six times already." "And seven times will be even better." "And then eight..." "And then nine!" Twilight clapped her hooves together in excitement. Hundreds of flash cards were in front of her. Spike rolled his eyes and prepared the projector for a rerun of her presentation. It was late into the night, but the princess refused to stop at this time. The empty lecture hall was started to become cold and felt a little spooky to the young dragon. "My presentation to the students of Celestia's school will be amazing. I've worked so hard on my speech about cutie marks and the magic of friendship! This must be perfect." "Ya also need your rest, Twilight. Don't ya wanna be awake to give the lecture tomorrow?" Spike asked. "Of course, but a little more reassurance will not hinder that. Come on Spike, let's start again. From the top." "Phooey..." Twilight walked up to the podium of the lecture hall, just about to give her presentation to the crowd of unicorn students before her. Spike was in the middle of the crowd, dutifully preparing the projector so that her presentation could start accordingly. The princess was nervous, of course, but she did the royal sigh that Cadance taught her. It helped little, but she was ready. It was time to show them why she was the top student ever at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. "Welcome! Welcome!" she started, using magic to project her voice. "I see that you all are awake this morning! Even though you know who I am, let me introduce myself. I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and graduate from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Of course, I say 'graduate' loosely here, as one can never truly graduate from any school. We stay students for all of our lives. Even Celestia and Luna will admit to that. "So, to continue your studies, I am here to enlighten you about the magic of friendship and the workings of cutie marks. Yes, cutie marks. I know all of you are far too old to have a preschool subject like this, but cutie marks are a symbol of pony society and not a simple one at that. They affect all of us in myriads of ways. To simply have cutie marks be taught in elementary and first grade classes does not suit the total complexity that is the cutie mark. Now, to rightfully start this-" "This mare preaches cutie mark destiny!" "Who said that?" Twilight was suddenly shocked to see several ponies, of which some were not unicorn, stand up and protest against her. They started yelling and shouting and make the crowd go into turmoil. The princess was so taken aback by this, she simply stood there and watched. "This is no place for such heinous talk!" one very pink unicorn shouted. "You offend these poor students with your bigotry!" "Starlight!? What are you doing here?" Twilight was shocked. "And what are you-" "Down with cutie marks! Down with destiny!" the equal ponies shouted her down. "Please calm down. This is an informative lecture, not a political presentation. Why are you guys offended?" Twilight asked. "Twilight, calling this 'informative' only shows how biased you are for cutie marks!" Starlight yelled. "Cutie marks produced hatred and reasons for bullying, both to the young and old. They don't help! They cause misery and yet you promote them! Such hatred! How can you stand there and preach such doctrines to these poor students? You traumatize them! You fill their heads with nonsense! Your lies spread like a disease. A DISEASE!" Starlight and some of her companions trotted down the steps to the bottom of the hall where Twilight still stood perplexed. Like usual, the unicorn pointed an accusing hoof at the princess. "You are the reason we need safe spaces!" Twilight's confusion faded and was replaced with annoyance. "Really?" "Yes, really," Starlight said with the sass of a pegasus. "Now if you ev-" "Would you be quiet!" another shrill voice filled the hall. Everypony was now quiet as one beige unicorn stared at Starlight with fire in her eyes. The old dull sweater she was wearing seemed to come undone from her anger alone. Before her was a quill and paper, but the quill was poked right through the parchment as she had driven it through there with shear rage. "I was going to have a pleasant time recording all this lecture!" Moon Dancer growled. "And you come in with your little insignificant complaints and ruin it!" "Aren't you important?" Starlight returned fire. "I see, what's this, a unicorn's got a complaint? Well, guess what, you little prick, I know you want to flaunt your privilege, but you don't think about others. I protest here for the good of students! If you don't understand that, you're too privileged to know you're privileged!" "Oh yeah?" Moon Dancer snarled. "Maybe you'll talk smarter when I remove her head from your ass!" "Moon Dancer!" Twilight exclaimed in shock. "Please calm down. This is no place for violence!" "Yet you come in with your hatred and misinformed knowledge," Starlight huffed at the princess. "You calm down too! Look, I see that you don't agree with me, but can you please, I don't know, leave so that those who do want to hear me have the chance too? Wait!" Twilight gasped as an idea entered her read. "Would you like to have a debate on why the cutie mark is hurtful versus my reasoning that the mark is beneficial?" "Have a debate?" Starlight jeered. "There's nothing to debate! You're wrong and ignorant. You should not be here! You need to leave this campus and we shall implement a safe space for all those you have defiled today!" "OK...Seriously Starlight, I can't even follow you anymore..." Twilight shrugged. "How dare-what?" Starlight's harsh words were cut off by her innocent confusion. "Aren't you a visionary?" Twilight asked. "Why won't you debate then? All true visionaries had to back up their views under pressure. This is a campus. Conflicting ideologies are our specialty. I'm giving you the opportunity to tell your side." Starlight blinked in confusion and started to back away. "Uhh, sure. I don't think that will be appropriate. This is a campus, but it is filled with bigotry and ignorance. They will not hear me out. Umm...I think it is best for me to leave now. Besides, you're too wrong to argue with." She looked at her equal ponies. "We got our message across, let's go." "Starlight! Wait!" Twilight called out, but it was useless as the equal ponies left the hall. The place became quiet once more. Well, until one beige unicorn opened her mouth. "Good riddance, I would have kicked her ass to Baltimare. Hope she drowns in the public fountain," Moon Dancer said with vigor. "Moon Dancer!" Twilight hissed. "Do you need to leave too?" "Why would I?" Moon Dancer said in her grumpy voice. "Because you are wishing violence. Please calm down," Twilight softly commanded. Moon Dancer looked about to see the other unicorns staring at her. Still grumpy, she crossed her front legs and sighed in frustration. "Alright..." "Good. Now, that everything has settled down. Let's begin." "I'm not done with you!" Starlight burst back into the hall like a hurricane. "How dare you continue your damn lecture! Do you not care about the minds you are ruining? This is no place for cutie marks! I will not let you continue your preaching of false ideas!" "That's it!" Moon Dancer got up. "Time to tango, loser!" "Let's go hornhead!" Starlight growled back. "Girls! No!" Twilight tried to interfere. All chaos was set loose and Twilight never got to her lecture. A brutal brawl was on the lecture hall floor and the students chipped in by throwing pencils and pens at the combatants. The Royal Guard were called in and both unicorns were arrested for disturbing the peace. The students who watched the event were truly traumatized and shared their disturbed feelings on social media the day after. However, some stallions greatly enjoyed the show and rated it ten out of ten stars. Oh wait, they were disturbed too. Yup. Twilight was not allowed to lecture there again as her presence "caused great disturbance for the welfare of the students," which was reflected in the fact that, after the event, several students poured fake blood on themselves like they were in some Discordian cult . The implementation of safe spaces was promptly approved by student petition. This petition also banned the head of the school, former Princess Celestia, from campus grounds. To quote one student "somepony that white and old shouldn't be allowed in a freethinking environment." =