The Whole Ocean's a Rug
“Goddess dammit, Saxon—!”
“Eat a turd, Digiff—”
“Are you out of your mucking mind—?!”
“Oh, like you would have just let him get away with what he saw down there—!”
“Skagra asked you to keep an eye on the bastard—!”
“And I friggin' did—!”
“Saxon, I know you! The only reason he got down there was 'cuz you let him so you could have an excuse to beat up something with a beak for once—!”
“Oh please, Digiff, as if you ever did anything nearly as awesome in your life—!”
“Why you—!”
“Bring it, seafoam huffer—!”
“Knock it off! Both of you—!”
Heaving...
Wincing in pain...
...Keris opened one bruised eye...
... ... ...and then the other...
His armor was completely stripped, exposing red-and-brown feathers stained in multiple places with dry, caked blood. The Lieutenant weakly squinted across the oddly-furnished confines of a dusty office. Several dredgers stood in the room, shifting nervously. In the center, Nixkit struggled to shove Saxon and Digiff apart from one another. On the far end, slumped in the shadows, a familiar figure with two faces sat, calmly watching the frantic scene unfold.
“Dirty dirty digiff!” Saxon stuck his tongue out, grinning wildly. “Can't scrape us some profit to save his scarred hide!”
“At least I'm loyal to this damn place!” the bearded dredger retorted, shouting over Nixkit's shoulder. “You don't see me throwing everything Skagra's ever worked for in the shitter!”
“Ohhhhh cry me a river, ya muckstain. Hahah—!”
“Yeah, laugh it up, dipshit!” Digiff spat. “Everything was fine until you decided to go play whack-a-griffin below deck! Now the Council's down one injured Lieutenant! The moment they realize what's missing, guess where they're gonna send their topmost elite?! Huh?!” Digiff waved a hoof. “I hope they string your balls up on the flagpole as a memorial to collossal stupidity! 'Cuz congratulations, Saxon! You just signed away all of Red Barge to Rohbredden!”
“I'd say let them come!” Saxon snarled, eyes twitching. “We'll shark-prod the whole lot of them until they're a golden roast!” He spun and raised his forelimb before the other stallions. “Huh?! Who's with me?!”
A strong hoof grabbed Saxon's shoulder and spun him around.
Saxon looked up, grinning—WHAM!—only to be punched squarely in the face with a pale fetlock. Whump! He fell on the floor with Nixkit leering above him.
“Only the Top Dredger gets to rally the ponies of Red Barge!” Nixkit seethed, rubbing his forelimb. “And don't you forget it!” He stood in place, fuming. “Yes, it's good that you caught the stupid puss-bird before he could fly away, but—dammit, Saxon—enough is enough! This isn't a case of roughing up an out-of-line pile of seafoam! You were a lucky bastard to have gotten the drop on this guy! Digiff is right. Now all his brothers and sisters are going to wonder where he is and they won't stop until they've eviscerated every friggin' goddess-forsaken meatwall in their path!”
“Heheheh... snrkkkt...” Saxon heaved, spitting blood across Skagra's carpet as he smirked. “Should... grfff... shoulda heard him... grkkk... weeping to Verlaxion.”
Keris shuddered, his eyes fluttering shut.
“That's it...” Digiff tossed his hooves. He shuffled in a tight circle, huffing. “We're done. It's over.”
“Digiff...” Nixkit grumbled.
“The Harvest is a bust!” Digiff growled. “Chandler's yanking us by a chain! The Syndicate isn't around anymore to supply us any stupid, desperate saps from Rust!” he tossed his hooves again. “Red Barge is finished! Might as well rot from the inside out and call it a day!”
Nixkit turned to retort—
A loud knocking sound echoed from the far end of the room.
Nixkit and Digiff turned to look. Saxon tilted his head up.
Keris weakly reopened his eyes.
Skagra slapped his fetlock multiple times against the hoofrest of a partially delapidated chair. He sighed, then stood up on stiff legs. “Digiff... sweet, dopey Digiff... at the risk of sounding like a broken record...”
Digiff sighed, hanging his head. “'Shut up....'”
“And slap some barnacles on it,” Skagra hissed. His good eye squinted while his bad one flared. Then—shuffling—he strolled over until he stood calmly above Keris.
The battered griffon looked up. His lion's tail flinched slightly.
“Nixxy...” Skagra spoke aside.
Nixkit trotted over. “...boss?”
“Anything on him that's broken?” Skagra asked.
Nixkit took a deep breath. “As far as I can tell... he's just... bruised to all hell,” the pale stallion muttered. “Saxon layed the shark prod on mighty thick. Nearly burned his insides to scorched grease.”
“Mmmmm... smelled pretty good too, heheheheh—” Saxon chuckled... at least until an errant buck from Skagra slammed him in the groin. Eyes crossed, Saxon slumped over, wheezing. “Grkkkt... g-good one, boss... hehehehskkkttt...”
“Hrmmmfff... pretty, pretty dolphins,” Skagra cursed. He smoothed his bangs back, only for them to fall over again. “So... he'll live?”
“Painfully, but yes,” Nixkit said with a nod. “Why? Are... are you thinking of turning him in?”
“No.” Skagra shook his head. “Hell, no.” He shook his head harder. “The worst thing then a beat-up griffon is a beat-up griffon who remembers. The moment he's back with his fellow flock, all is lost.” He paced calmly above the Lieutenant. “There's no point in blaming this all on Saxon, really. I knew it'd just be a matter of time before this bird did some snooping. I mean, to be perfectly frank, I didn't think he'd be so quick or balls-heavy about it, but... shit... color me impressed.” He lurched to a stop... blinked... then gave Keris a swift kick in the side. Thwap!
“Grnnnngh!” The griffon winced heavily, his binds rattling. Keris slumped hard to his side and shuddered against the floor.
“Heh...” Skagra exhaled. “I can almost taste what makes Saxon smile.” He sighed. “Almost...”
“So... uhm...” Nixkit rubbed his scalp through his mane. “To the cesspool with him?”
Skagra's good nostril flared. “No.” He shook his scarred head. “That's even worse. For all of his pussymancering, Digiff's right to be woeful.” He turned to face Nixkit. “I've heard stories about the Right Talon of Verlaxion. They're known for two things: their awesomeness and their vengeful spirit. Considering that one of those things just imploded righteously beneath our very groin muscles, I whole-heartily expect them to come to our doorstep, overcompensating on the other half.” He slowly shook his head. “You think this place is painted red now...”
“The core of our operations has been exposed,” Nixkit said. “They'll call us criminals... lynch us in open public.” He gulped. “Seize all of Red Barge's assets.”
“Only...” Skagra raised a hoof. “...if they have a reason to.”
“But I don't understand, Skagra. They'll know that their Lieutenant's been here.”
“As far as we should care, they only know that he was headed here.” Skagra's good eye narrowed. “The sea's a large... vast place... full of much muck to get lost in. I don't care how much 'silver-plated titanium' one wears. Evidence speaks for itself.” He pointed at Keris. “The bigger they come... the harder they sink.”
“So... uhm...” Nixkit rubbed his neck, shuddering. “What exactly do you propose?”
Digiff looked on.
Skagra turned towards Keris with a calm breath. His scarred brow furrowed.
Th-Thwump!
“Ooof!” Keris grunted as his body slammed against the far wall of a dim jail cell. He struggled to get up. His front and rear legs were bound in separate cuffs. What's more, thick metal chains were wrapped five times around his wings and spine. “Grnnngh... mmmf...” He ultimately slumped to his chest, panting and wincing.
Creaaaak! The door slammed shut. Digiff and Nixkit locked it from the other side.
“You think you threw enough metal on him, Digiff?” Nixkit droned.
“Hey. I'm not taking any chances. Just because he was stupid enough to go snooping around under Saxon's watch—”
“Stop blaming everything on the grinning bastard,” Nixkit grumbled. “The bird's your responsibility now. Keep an eye on him and the prize. I've gotta go set things up.”
“Set things up?” Digiff stammered. As Nixkit trotted away, the dredger followed him, shuffling above deck and out of the brig. “Just what are we going to do now?!”
“Skagra will find a way...”
“You really think so? I mean... we're really in the shit stream now, Nix—”
“Do not doubt the top dredger. Need I remind you of the unfortunate souls who've attempted it before?”
Digiff let loose an audible sigh. “I swear, if none of this falls through, the only safe place to be in the seven seas... is Mudtop...”
The two drifted out of earshot.
Keris lingered on the cell room floor, seething... writhing. He fought against his restraints, but the struggle was torturous—not to mention tiring. Each fuss he made with the metal shackles and chains only agitated his fresh, bleeding bruises... to the point that his senses numbed over.
At last, with a defeated groan, he slumped against the floor. “Mrmmmff... goddess, give me strength.” His beak clenched. “These soul-less miscreants. I have to find a way... have to... to...”
His breaths came out in labored pants. At last, his headcrest stretched back, and he gazed woefully across the filthy shadows of the place.
“... ... ...Commander... Commander, I've failed you. I've disobeyed...” He clenched his eyes shut, surrendering to the shadows. “I'm so... so sorry...” A shuddering exhale. “All of those poor... poor ponies... I've failed them...”
His body twitched... twitched some more... then fell into a deep, exhausting descent...
...but not without hearing the faintest hint of a raspy voice from the cell across the brig.
“Hurt? Hurt in what way, Fluttershy?”
Silence.
“Hey... hey guy? Are you okay in there, dude?”
Keris' magenta eyes opened one last time. He squinted out the barred door to his cell.
For the briefest moment he thought he was staring at a mirror, for identical eyes peered back from the shadows across the way... accompanied by a ruby glint of otherworldly light.
“Just hang in there, buddy. If they brought you down here, then it only means they wanna keep you alive for some important reason. No reason to freak out... at least not yet...”
At last, Keris' eyes rolled back. He fell into unconsciousness.
“Mrmmfff... figures.” Silence. “If you insist, Flutters.” Shuffling. Sighing. “Keep an eye on him... and lemme know if he wakes up again...”
Nixkit trotted out into a dull sunset bathing the steamy lengths of Red Barge.
He calmly approached Skagra, surrounded by many dredgers.
Skagra scratched his chin, turned around twice, then stared at Nixkit, cockeyed. “Is the damn bird stapled?”
Nixkit exhaled. “Digiff bound him good.” He shook his head. “The griffon's going nowhere anytime soon.”
“Good.” Skagra squinted at the smoggy skies overhead. “... ... ...when's Monket due back?”
“Within twenty-four hours.” Nixkit squinted. “Why, boss? You gonna dump this burden on him somehow?”
“There'll be dumping involved, alright,” Skagra said with a nod. “Somewhere far west—between here and the Quade—courtesy of everypony's favorite slaver.” He yawned, picking wax out his one good ear. “But the burden? Nah... that'll fall on a certain somepony who can still hold sway over the Council.”
Nixkit's ears folded back. “Chandler.”
“A cat that fat has a lot to defecate into the ears of his peers,” Skagra slurred. “And if he has any hope of retrieving his precious Rainbow Rogue, he'll do just that... and then some.”
“You really think he'll go the distance to cover this up for us?” Nixkit asked. “Even after we drown the griffon?”
“It's all part of our new business deal.”
“When was this new deal made?”
“Tomorrow.” Skagra smiled crookedly. “When Monket gets back, he and I are going to have a little chat. With his help, we're gonna let Chandler know that the stakes have been raised even higher. The fat cat better put his balls where his bits are, cuz we're about to make that stallion sing. And if the serenade doesn't dazzle the Council and their awesome Talon about the tragic death of the Lieutenant beyond the Quade, then I'm gonna bring the full weight of the Consortium's mucking legacy down on Chandler's brittle skull.” He snorted, shuffling off to his office. “These seas are mine. And—by my scalded soul—they'll stay mine. I don't care how many monsters or griffons they toss into the brine. Now come. I want to look pretty.”
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Welp... The other cat birds are gonna rain down on them now.
*continues reading the chapter*
*done reading*
Well, at least Mister Cat Bird found the Rainbow Cat Pony thing.
Now then...inb4 the next chapter's not gonna focus on the Red Barge.
Well, shoot. Looks like Skagra found a loophole to keep his ass out of the fire.
Yep, thrown into a cell near Dash. Figured. But she's not in any sort of position to help him at the moment, and the clock is ticking before Keris becomes a very wet catbird. Permanently.
Swab to the rescue, then?
No doubt their leaving Keris alive will be their undoing.
Well, RD has a new buddy.
Rule number 1 of prisoner keeping guys.
Never put two dangerous creatures in a cell together.
Rule number 2: never put them in a cell near each other either.
They're just asking for a breakout attempt.
Swift Song is gonna sneak Dash some lockpicks or chain cutters or something that she can use to help Keris, depending on what they've bound him with.
-In the end isolation, hunted by a nation. Utaan.
Skagra needs to look pretty for tomorrow.
Heh. We're on point with predictions. And if Monket's due back in a day, well, the pirates from Mudtop won't be far behind.
Though I'm still hoping for a full moon before everything goes up in flames . . .
Villain keeps the hero alive, because reasons.
*ding*
Okay, show of hands, who here is surprised that Keris ended up with Rainbow Dash
?
And the end game of this mini arch is in sight... I couldn't have said it better Nixkit.
I ship them now.
6606294 Most likely. Let's not forget something though. Two chapters back, we had Keris asking a boatload of ponies for some outside assistance. I wouldn't put it past him to have an established backup plan to ensure his survival. And the fact that he's found himself as Rainbow's new cellmate? Icing on the cake.
6606300 Undoubtedly so. Any guesses as to what he's gonna do to Saxon when he gets out? My money's on good old fashioned mob justice.
6606397 Actually I'm pretty sure he's going to die somehow, and Rainbow will be the one to exact justice for him.
If Keris gets along with Rainbow and doesn't die, then he'd prolly tell the rest of the Talon that she's actually a pretty cool cat, and that'd probably remove a lot of the narrative tension.
It commences.
6606372
Hmmm....I could see that happening...if, ya know, RD wasn't gay.
6606431 Shh. Don't break my dream so early!
Were they seriously stupid enough to put two dangerous prisoners in the same cell? Come on, Red Bargers. You're practically asking them to bust out.
6606449
They don't have enough brain cells to not be an asshole.
Well see their mistake here was not killing him first, this will come back to bite them with him getting away. Now I think the question is will it be Rainbow who does it or will it be Swab, or will it be the two of them together who saves everyone's favorite Lieutenant.
6606328 It's tradition...
6606307 6606294 6606449
To be fair, they haven't seen anything that hints at RD being capable of anything. As far as they're concerned, she's barely getting enough food for consciousness (Swab's been causing that to be false though.)
If we're still on Red Barge next chapter expect words between Kerris, Dash, or Swab.
I wonder how much longer the others are going to continue being anti-social towards dash. Betting 20 chapters at least.
Called it. Somehow Dash and Keris will team up to escape
waterworldred bargeI don't know nor care how reasonable a party it would make, but I'm really looking forward to RD, Keris, and Swab journeying together back to central Rohbredden.
ESCAPE PLAN HYYYYPE
Pony Skagra;
Int Evil_Level = Skagra.getEvilStat();
Evil_Level++;
Skagra.setEvil(Evil_Level);
6606404 Good point. Meh, we'll see how this plays out.
6606294
6606328
6606464
The reason to keep Keris alive is as a deadman switch hanging over Chandler's head.
Chandler knows Skagra can't afford to actually release Keris alive, but keeping Keris's body fresh until he is killed means Red Barge can kill Keris and leave Keris's corpse anywhere it would hurt Chandler the most, with the right amount of delay in corpse reveal to have mortuary autopsy get a time of death range that supports whatever story Red Barge puts out.
Additionally Chandler will get a fire under his ass to pay up because Chandler will realize he has lost control of the scenario and his personality type will do literally anything to get back on top.
Ayyy, Rainbow met Keris. Now all that's left is for her to convince him that she is actually the protagonist of the story so he can switch to our side. Well, that AND the whole taking Verlaxion down and Austraeoh things. But, those aren't really that important compared to destroying Red Barge.
6606700
That is true they have to keep him alive to get the Talon to not suspect them. It's just a massively bad idea as it gives him time to escape though, which he will. What they didn't think about was how to prevent that very well, especially putting him next to Rainbow, even if they only have rumors to go on about her.
Ok so monket just got armed in Mudtop and has probably a small army of privateers chasing him.
team up for any longer time, which is likely because Rainbow is still his target.. well if they team up on friendly terms for a longer time, Rainbow will probably get the means to fly under the talons radar for quite a while, so we will see some more things get done in the story progression before a major boss battle. 
) for a while because Seraphimus and therefore the talon works blindly for the council and the council is compromised so Keris will have to gather so much proof that Seraphimus will have no other way than to change priorities, which she probably won't do even if she got all the evidence in front of her.
That means that we will probably get a nice siege in the next chapters, if Rainbow and Keris
But i guess Seraphimus would be supreme butt hurt about this.
Although it is the logical step, Keris is loyal to the Talon and therefore to Seraphimus but the talon protects the people and right now the people suffer and as soon as chandlers involvement into all of this comes to his attention he will have no other choice but to work on his own (or in a Dashing team
Pinkie, Rarity and Twilight really should take a look outside now. Wake up and smell the bloat.
And Rainbow's a carpet chewer.
6606283
It's raining catbirds
Hallelujah
It's raining catbirds
Amen
And Skag's gonna go out
He's gonna let himself get
Absolut-ely soaking weeeeet~
6606851 I am incapable of describing how hard I face palmed.
I wonder how good White Barges deep sea trawl nets are, and just how much experience Keris has had in operation to be able to predict well enough what was going to happen to him?
Still, would be nice if Twilights ghost magic still had real world operational ability, but it woiuld probably be Rarity that could do the fine manipulation with the greatly reduced power.
Swab has that open pipe, unless it has been repaired into teh back of Dashs cell, but not Keris.
6606851
The title is a reference to the idiom of sweeping dirt under the rug
6606818
I dont think that's possible at the moment. Rainbow is trying to kid herself, but i bet she doesn't even know herself whether she's the protagonist due to queen frosty messin with her mind. I'm sensing a possibility later on, but RD needs a harmonic redemption.
*Whimpers and hugs Keris.*
6606449 I interpreted it as neighbouring cells. Flutters can move through walls.
This story is picking up nicely, well done.
Now that Rainbow and Keris have met, I need to get me some extra butter popcorn. Awesomeness is going to occur sometime soon.
As predicted.
Hang in there Keris, you've got the most awesome east pony at your side. You'll make it out.
Well, my prediction has been (somewhat) borne out. Keris is now in Rainbow Dash's cell.
I like the fact that, even though we now have Rainbow Dash in the story that we're seeing things from others' points of view. Allows you to see what she seems like to others.
6606828
Ahhhhhhhhrg run on sentences! They burn!
Also, conclusion does not quite follow. If:
P1:Keris is a member of the Talon
P2: Keris is loyal to the Talon
P3: Being a talon means blindly working for the counsel
then the conclusion is that
• Keris will blindly follow the council
That's the mechanical form of how what you said works out, since it seemed you were trying to use logical form.
Also, I don't think P3 is correct. They don't blindly work for them, I think. Until given a valid enough reason to throw off tradition, they are going to stick with what they think they know. People do it all the time.
6606878 Oh no, Skagra's gotta burn.
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/gameofthrones/images/2/22/Sandor_profile.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130111180246
It's only fitting.
And now for a series of predictions.
One chapter is going to be called "When Keris Goes (Rainbow) Rogue".
One chapter in Book 12 will be titled 'Home'. Another will be called 'Sunset' or 'Sunrise'.
Why are you engaging in predictions? You know that IC is inherently unpredictable.
Good poi- Wait a second. Where'd you come from?
I am Revan. I've been lurking around ever since I appeared in Ynanhluutr, waiting for the perfect moment to reappear. Since it seems clear that I will not be returning in the story, I have come to the comments.
Uh, evilcheez24? I think I need your assistance over here. This guy's clearly followed Vilcheez's path into the comments.
I sent him ahead to blaze the path. Now that it has been forged, any can tread it if they so choose.
Well, isn't that wonderful. Now we have two evil characters running around in the comments.
I am no longer evil.
What? When did this happen?
I ran into another on the way. He bears my name, just as you bear his.
Oookkkaaayyy. So Revan showed up and helped you come to the light?
Return to it actually. I became part of the Syndicate in order to help improve everyponies' lives.
And look where you wound up. Evil and dark.
I returned ruthlessness with ruthlessness. Eventually I forgot that the end did not justify the means. That is when power corrupted me.
Okay, I think you're telling the truth. Now please pardon me, I have to ask something of evilcheez24.
I will be here when you return.
Alright then. See you later.
*walks away from Revan*
Well, this is not what I expected.
Evilcheez, do you think that you could investigate this incident? If the path is truly open now, anyone could show up. And I'm certain that nobody wants Shell to return.
6606551
:s/Evil_Level++;/Evil_Level+=9001;
I'd call Skagra's plan stupid, given that anyone with two brain cells to rub together would see through such an utterly absurd deception in a heartbeat.
Of course, then I remember that by some incredible series of events this nation is ruled by a group of people with the collective intelligence of a sack of beans.
6607311
Le gasp! It's over 9000!
6606551
6607311
Woah, careful, you wouldn't want an integer overflow...