• Published 26th Jul 2015
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Oops! I'm Equine Again - MythrilMoth

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Ground Hog's Neigh

"Okay Spike, you've got everything under control, right?" Princess Twilight Sparkle asked as she stacked two more books into the large cardboard box on the floor in front of her.

"Of course," Spike said.

"It's just that you know what my schedule's like, and—"

"Will you relax already?" Spike said. "You already rearranged the important stuff on your schedule, the rest of it isn't a problem! You need a break, you've been working too hard on that friendship summit! Besides, you're only going for an overnight visit!"

Twilight took a deep breath. "You're right," she said, smiling. "You'll be fine on your own for one day."

"That's the spirit!" Spike dusted the table, waving a claw at Twilight. "Tell Sunset and the girls hi for me!"

Twilight giggled. "Alright. See you tomorrow!" With that, she levitated the box closer to the glowing, rippling mirror in the corner, then used her head to shove it the rest of the way through, following close behind on her own hooves.

Once she was gone, Spike, humming idly to himself, put down his duster, picked up a comic book, and tottered to the library door. "Time for an ice cream and comic book break," he said to himself, chuckling. "Work can wait until later, this dragon needs his fun time..."

In the stillness of the library, a pony-shaped patch of air shimmered and rippled. With a faint blue glow, the shimmering air resolved into a light purple pony with a violet mane. Eyes narrowed, Starlight Glimmer approached the strange mirror, tilting her head. "Well now," she said softly to herself, "what kind of magic is this? I wonder..." She placed a hoof against the glass, tilting her head as it rippled under her touch. With a cautious frown, she stepped fully into the mirror. Her world exploded in a kaleidoscope of color and a rush of white noise, and she felt something pulling and stretching her body. She let out a soundless scream...

Bright sunlight assaulted her senses as her body hit the ground with a heavy thud. She sat up, groaning. Everything felt...wrong.

She blinked open bleary eyes; as her forelimbs came into focus, she saw that they ended not in hooves, but strange, soft, slender claws or paws of some sort. She looked further down at herself, and found that her hind legs had stretched out and elongated, the joints not quite where they should be. Furthermore, she was wearing some sort of black pants she definitely hadn't been wearing before.

She ran her soft, fleshy whatevers over her body and face, finding all sorts of changes that sent her mind racing in a panic. The worst part was the lack of a horn.

*Is this a trap? Did she know I was spying on her? What's going—*

She became aware of sounds around her: loud rumbling noises, voices talking and laughing, faint music, leaves blowing across grass. She looked around and saw creatures—creatures that looked like nothing she'd seen before, all of which had the same slender paw-things she now had and the same long, oddly-jointed legs, upon which they stood and walked. They all wore different types of clothing.

She turned her head as she caught a familiar voice. She watched a familiar mane of dark violet hair sway and swing in the breeze as a lavender-skinned whatever in a blue blouse and purple skirt wrapped a forelimb each around an amber-skinned whatever with a wavy copper and gold mane and a yellow-skinned whatever with a long, pale pink mane. Several other whatevers with very familiar manes and skin resembling a certain group of mares' coats were with them, and as she watched, all of them climbed into some sort of large, box-like metal carriage, like a train car that wasn't connected to anything. It let out a ghastly rumble as it lurched off down the road a moment later.

Starlight sat there, taking it all in, her mind racing. *What in the...what is this? What's going on here?*

Frowning, she watched the creatures ambling back and forth around her, chatting with each other, for all the world appearing to enjoy a lazy, ordinary day. After observing the way they walked for a time, she gingerly stood up, wobbling as she found her new center of gravity, and slowly walked toward the large building nearby. As she approached, she saw a light-skinned creature with long green dreadlocks coming down the steps. She waved to catch his attention. "Excuse me," she said. "Could you direct me to the library, please?"

He blinked. "Uhh, sure," he said. "Go right through there, down the center hall, it's the third door on the left. Oh, but it's gonna be closed in like twenty minutes, so..." He tilted his head. "You a new teacher or something?"

"Ah...something like that," she hedged. "Thank you for your help." And making as though she absolutely belonged there and wasn't an alien wearing false skin, she headed directly for the library. Once she was there, she made certain to avoid being noticed by the librarian, slipping into the vacant recesses of the reference section. She waited patiently, silently, until the librarian left and locked up for the day.

Then, with a determined frown on her face, she went to work.

* * * * *

Starlight Glimmer restlessly prowled the halls of the Canterlot Archives, waiting for the guards to change rotation. Her invisibility spell masked her presence, and a Skin of Silence spell muffled the sound of her hooves as she crept along the walls, going still and holding her breath whenever a unicorn guard's horn-light came into view.

Finally, the shift change was sounded. Starlight easily unlocked the gate to the Starswirl the Bearded Wing and slipped inside. She had five minutes to find what she needed and get out; fortunately, now that she was inside, she could teleport out without raising suspicion.

It took three minutes to find the spell she was looking for. With a smirk, she tucked it into her saddlebag, then teleported into the public courtyard. Once there, she drew the hood up on her cloak and silently ghosted away into the quiet Canterlot night.

* * * * *

"How DARE you keep this kind of magic from me?! You KNOW that I'm ready for this, that I can be GREAT!"

"You could be great. I thought I saw compassion and sincerity in you, but it was nothing but ambition. You're being selfish, you need to step back and reflect—"

"I'M selfish? That book right there says I could become as powerful as an alicorn princess. I could rule here. It's selfish of you to keep me from my rightful place."

*Good grief, what a spoiled little brat...*

Princess Celestia and a young unicorn named Sunset Shimmer were having a very public, very angry screaming match, in full view of the guards and the palace staff. Unbeknownst to any of them, a silent, invisible observer watched from a quiet, unobtrusive corner.

"I deserve to stand beside you and be your equal...if not your better! MAKE ME A PRINCESS!!"

"No. Being a princess must be earned. I have been trying to teach you everything you need to know, but you've turned from it. Every time you say you 'deserve' to get something without the effort just proves to me that you are not ready."

Starlight Glimmer watched as a furious Celestia banished Sunset Shimmer from the castle. Sunset Shimmer escaped from the guards escorting her, knocking them unconscious, and jumped through the crystal mirror, disappearing into another world. As the guards came to, Celestia instructed them to move the mirror to the throne room. Starlight waited as Celestia sat before the mirror, watching it with a sad expression, and excused the guards from the room.

*Is she going to sit in front of that mirror all night? I don't know how much longer it'll be open, or how long I can hold this spell—*

Celestia's head suddenly snapped sharply in her direction. "Who is there? Show yourself! Tonight is not a good night to test my patience!"

"DAMN!" Starlight dropped her invisibility spell and summoned the magic of the time spell into her horn just as the guards burst into the room. Before either the guards or Celestia could do anything, Starlight was sucked up into a glowing vortex in the ceiling, which snapped closed behind her.

A tense silence descended upon the room.

"Your Majesty?" a guard asked. "Who or what was that, and...and what are your orders?"

Celestia stared up at the ceiling, pursing her lips. She glanced back at the crystal mirror. She sighed. "You know...I just don't care. That pony will either return or she won't. Whoever she was, whatever that spell was...right now, I just don't care." She stood up and stretched. "If Sunset Shimmer returns, fetch me immediately. I believe I need to be alone now..."

* * * * *

Starlight crouched against a cold crystal wall, watching the mirror. As the castle fell silent, its surface rippled, and a unicorn mare in a dark cloak stepped out, black saddlebags slung across her back. Teal eyes scanned the room warily.

As soon as Sunset Shimmer left the room, Starlight dropped her invisibility spell, took a deep breath, and wove a complex series of spells around herself. The magic shields now enveloping her would allow her to retain her form and, more importantly, her magic once she crossed the threshold of the portal—she'd be damned if she was caught in that world wearing a weird body with no magic again. Besides, she didn't intend to be there long...

After another steadying breath and a quick check of all her spells, Starlight jumped through the portal. She immediately dove behind the statue, dropping her magic shell and casting her invisibility spell again, then crept around, squinting in the bright daylight. *Wasn't it night in Equestria? Weird...*

Several minutes passed.

A girl sat down next to the statue—Fluttershy. She carried armfuls of leaflets, and tried to pass them out to the people passing her, but nobody was taking any. Starlight rolled her eyes.

The surface of the statue flashed, and a crown—Twilight Sparkle's crown—flew out, bouncing off Fluttershy's head and skidding to a stop on the pavement. "Oh?" she said, frowning. As she rubbed her head, she stood up, picking up the crown with a curious purse of her lips. "How'd this get out here?" Shrugging, she headed for the front doors.

Seconds after she went inside, the statue rippled again. Sunset Shimmer, human, tall, buxom, and smirking arrogantly, emerged, tugging at the hem of her black leather jacket. Her smirk turned into a frown as she scanned the ground. "The crown...where is it?" She looked all around, her frown turning into a scowl. "YOU THERE! Did you see the Fall Formal crown lying around on the ground here?"

A pale-skinned boy shrugged. "Yeah, I think I saw Fluttershy take it up into the school just now."

Sunset growled, her hands curling into claws. "Fluttershy, huh? Well. We'll just see about that..." She stormed off into the school, snarling at everyone around her as she threw open the doors.

"Yeesh," Starlight muttered.

Several more minutes passed.

The portal rippled again, and Twilight Sparkle, in her human form, fell out, sprawling in an ungainly heap on the ground. A small purple dog with green ears popped out shortly behind her. Starlight watched, amused, as Twilight freaked out at her transformation, then fought not to burst out laughing at the incredibly hilarious way Twilight tried to walk on all fours with Spike on her back.

Once the coast was clear, Starlight switched from her invisibility spell to her magic shell and approached the portal again, smirking. "Say goodbye to Equestria, Princess," she said to herself in a soft, malevolent tone. "As soon as I destroy the mirror, you'll be trapped here fore—"

Her gloating was cut off as, with a bright flash and a loud ringing sound, she was repelled by the portal, bouncing and rolling across the courtyard.

A few heads turned in her direction. She quickly switched spells again. "Dude, did you see something just now?"

"I don't think so. What did it look like?"

"Like a really big dog or something..."

"I dunno, dude. C'mon, we're gonna be late..."

Starlight waited until the courtyard was clear of students, then approached the portal again, dropping all her spells. She gently pressed a hoof against it.

It felt like rubber beneath her hoof. She couldn't push through, and it resisted her—actively repelled her hoof.

Frowning, she backed up and charged the statue at a full gallop. As soon as she collided with the portal, she was violently rejected with the force of a cannon bolt, sent flying over the trees to crash in the sprinters' track. She lay there, stunned, for a time. "What in the—?" Her eyes shot open. "No. Oh no."

Sprinting back to the statue, she looked around, finding a medium-sized pebble. With a frown, she carefully lined the pebble up with the portal and gave it a kick. It struck; the portal rippled, and the pebble disappeared into it, bound for Equestria. Her frown tightening, Starlight trotted up to the portal and attempted to step through.

It once again violently repelled her.

Her jaw dropped. "I'm stuck," she whispered, dropping to her rump. "I'm stuck. I came here to trap Princess Twilight in this world, but now...now I can't..." She took a deep breath. "It's okay," she said. "It's fine. I'll just...I'll just use the spell! I'll just go back to before I came here, forget this stupid plan, and find some other way to get my revenge on Twilight Sparkle..." Shaking her head, she pulled the scroll from her bag and held it aloft, her horn lighting up. The vortex formed above her; she was pulled up into it, and everything went white...

Then everything was dark.

"Well, isn't this interesting."

Starlight ducked out of sight as she heard Sunset Shimmer's voice. She watched as Sunset, human, emerged from the marble horse statue, examining herself with malignant glee.

Starlight's ears wilted.

*I'm...I'm still in this world? But...no! I was trying to go back to Canterlot! Before I—*

Her eyes widened.

"Oh horseapples."

* * * * *

Starlight Glimmer adjusted the stolen amulet which hung between her breasts and smiled winningly at the man behind the desk. "My name is Starlight Glimmer, and I'd like to open an account..."

* * * * *

"Well, isn't this interesting."

Starlight ducked out of sight as she heard Sunset Shimmer's voice. She watched as Sunset, human, emerged from the marble horse statue, examining herself with malignant glee.

Shaking her head, Starlight turned and found a place to hide as she cast the spell to turn herself human. Once she was human, she quickly dressed and collected her luggage, wincing at the heavy weight of the gold bars in her satchel. She hiked down the street until she found a taxi. Ten minutes later, she was checking into a motel for the night.

* * * * *

Starlight Glimmer adjusted the stolen amulet which hung between her breasts and smiled winningly at the man behind the desk. "My name is Starlight Glimmer, and I'd like to open an account..."

* * * * *

"Well, isn't this interesting."

Starlight ducked out of sight as she heard Sunset Shimmer's voice. She watched as Sunset, human, emerged from the marble horse statue, examining herself with malignant glee.

Shaking her head, Starlight turned and found a place to hide as she cast the spell to turn herself human. Once she was human, she quickly dressed and collected her luggage, wincing at the heavy weight of the gold bars in her satchel. She hiked down the street until she found a taxi. Fifteen minutes later, she was checking into a nice, lavish hotel for the night.

* * * * *

Starlight Glimmer adjusted the stolen amulet which hung between her breasts and smiled winningly at the man behind the desk. "My name is Starlight Glimmer, and I'd like to open an account..."

* * * * *

"Congratulations, Starlight," the dean said, shaking her hand. "What are your plans now?"

Starlight smiled. "I think I'd like to teach civics," she said. "I've heard that Canterlot High School might have an opening soon."

The dean frowned. "Is Polly retiring? I admit I haven't spoken with her in some time, but she's barely my age."

"Oh, you didn't know? I heard she was in a terrible accident..."

* * * * *

Principal Celestia examined the neatly-ordered folder of credentials lying on her desk. "Well, I'm impressed," she said. "You certainly are more than qualified." She looked up. "Wouldn't you prefer teaching at a university instead of a high school?"

The woman seated across from her smiled broadly. "I prefer the challenge of molding and shaping young minds, students who still haven't really figured out what they plan to do with their lives." She brushed a stray hair into place. "Besides, the timing honestly works out in my favor. Although I am so terribly sorry to hear about your Civics teacher's untimely accident."

Celestia grimaced. "Yes...Ms. Mare is a dear friend and I can only pray she'll recover one day. I've been in contact with her family. She's...still in critical condition. They're not even sure when she'll be able to leave the ICU." She shook her head. "But back to business. You seem to be exactly what this school needs, exactly when we need it."

"I'm just grateful for the chance to be able to step in and fill Ms. Mare's shoes. And to be able to work with such a diverse and interesting student body." She smiled. "I've heard quite a lot about the students here at CHS. There are several of your pupils I simply can't wait to meet."

Celestia smiled. "Well, I see no reason you can't start work tomorrow," she said. "I'll have my aide show you around campus for the rest of the afternoon. You can meet some of the students, observe the classes you'll be taking over, get a feel for the place."

"I'd like that very much, Principal Celestia." The woman stood and offered her hand to shake.

Celestia stood as well, grasping the offered hand and shaking it firmly. "Welcome to Canterlot High School, Ms. Glimmer."

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