//------------------------------// // A Melee Over the Muck // Story: Utaan // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// By the time Nixkit's charge had reached the junction between the North and West Struts, he had gained over a hundred fellow stallions—all armed to the teeth. His eyes reflected the bloody melee happening along the outer bulkheads. Even then—as he and his cohorts galloped into the fray—dozens of pirates were hopping aboard from their motorboats with scabbards swinging and crossbows firing. Blood and sweat coated the grimy lengths of the decks and pipework. “That's right, everypony!” Nixkit snarled. He twisted the end of his staff, cycling electricity into his shark prod. “Drive them back! Show them what Red Barge is made of!” As several bloodthirtsy dredgers rushed past him, he nevertheless grimaced, muttering to the side: “We're so bucking boned....” “Raaaaaaaaugh!” A scarred, homicidal unicorn charged straight at him, levitating a machete in the air. “Hrttt!” Nixkit effortly met the stallion's charge with a sparkling prod to the skull. The unicorn's horn split bloodily down the middle, and he fell to the floor in a screaming heap. “Hrmmmf...” Nixkit spat. “...try that again when I'm inclined to give a shit.” He caught two pirates coming in from the left, and he bravely fended them off with a twirl of his staff. The two parried his swings, dodged the bodies of other fighters, then came in for the kill. Before Nixkit could react—“Walalalalalalaaa!”—Saxon dove in, swept one pirate to the deck, then fired a tethered crossbow at the other invader. Schunnk! The barb stuck through his neck. Grinning wildly, Saxon yanked back hard. The impaled pirate fell on his companion's breathless body. “Hraaaaaugh!” Nixkit shoved down with his polearm. Thunkkk! He impaled both bodies on top of one another, then shocked them from the inside out with electricity until he could smell their collective intestines cooking. Waving off the fumes, the dredger leaned back and sneered through the bedlam: “How're things holding up, Saxon?!” “Rrrghh—I'm harder than Wyvern algebra!” “Why am I not surprised?” Nixkit batted away another pirate and shoved him into the nearest canal with a splash. He turned to stare at the bloody battle. “What I mean is—how is the fight goin—?” He froze in place, his head tilting up. Above the fumes of burning motorboats, several bodies streaked southeast. A thick flock of pegasi flew in from the five pirate ships along the watery horizon. Each of them held an earth pony or unicorn in their grasp. Diving low, the winged invaders skimmed the surface of Red Barge, dropping their partners in crime at random. With blood-curdling war cries, the dropped invaders landed on their targets. They impaled multiple dredgers and slitted the throats of defenders who weren't looking. Within a blink, the course of the battle had shifted entirely. Privateers found each other, collecting in dangerous bunches as they forced the Red Bargers back. Nixkit and Saxon exchanged glances. Re-gripping their weapons, they called several nearby stallions to them and charged forward, screaming violently into the enemy's flank. Meanwhile, up above, more and more invading pegasi flew in... ...and soared over the heads of panicked Red Bargers running every which way. The winged pirates dove low. Some of them dropped oil grenades—spreading fire and burning grease across the rusted bulkheads. Others picked up dredgers at random, lifted them up, then dropped them to a screaming death against the rigid pipework splayed across the struts. It was through this chaotic scene that Swab and Croche galloped, panting for breaths. A grenade landed close by, showering half of the nearby deck with hot oil. Croche shrieked. Swab tugged her out of the way. They took a moment to press their bodies up against a wall, huddling beneath the crook of a rectangular bulkhead. All around them, the rusted metal of Red Barge shook from the reverberating screams of those fighting and those dying. The pegasi flew swiftly overhead, gathering in organized formation as they dipped even lower... ...knocking citizens off their hooves and slamming them into the many hulls of the platforms. Several other ponies yelped as the pirates bucked them mercilessly into the watery canals between the welded struts. One pegasus landed along the east strut. Licking blood off his muzzle, the pirate chuckled, his gaze darting left and right. He saw a cluster of families trying to flee towards the safe shadow of the central platform's towering structures. Before he could rush after them, he heard a yelping voice to his right. “...!” He spun towards the source of the sound, unsheathing his dagger. Schiiing! A colt fell back on his haunches, staring at the pirate wide-eyed. “No... n-no!” He whimpered, eyes glossy with tears. He waved a hoof, sobbing. “Please! Please d-don't kill me! I don't want to dieeeee!” He hunched over in a little fuzzy ball, whimpering. “Hrmmmff...” The pirate's nostrils flared. “Barge bastards...” He turned his back to him, searching for another victim to attack. “... ... ...” Slowly, Quint stared up from where he cowered. He dried his “tears,” pulled out a concealed shiv, then rushed the pegasus' flank. “Rnnnngh!” He stabbed his blade deep into the pirate's wing muscles, then expertly twisted the hilt until he heard a tell-tale POP! “Aaa-aaaaugh!” The pegasus wailed in pain, collapsing in wild convulsions. Mounting the invader's corpse, Quint flung a sweaty look over his shoulder and whistled into the shadows. Whony and several more colts dashed out of hiding. Sch-Sch-Schiiing! They all brandished daggers, knives, and clubs. Like ants over a paralyzed meal, they covered the squealing pegasus from muzzle to tail, stabbing and beating him until he barely had the blood left to twitch. Once the act was finished, Quint stumbled off the body, panting. He wiped the blood off his face and spat. “Okay... that's one.” He turned towards the rest of the orphans. “Let's earn us some nibbles for lifetime, seafoam!” The colts shouted and screamed, waving their bloodied blades. “Quint...” Whony pointed into the shadows. Quint turned around, glaring. A few colts—those of the smaller variety—shivered in darkness. Their big, twitching eyes scraped the sky and their bodies flinched at each sign of the diving pegasi. “Rrnnngh...” Quint marched into the shadows and yanked the gasping children out into the open. “You wusses! Get out there!” He snarled. “Shed some blood or I'll be using your meat as damned bait!” He pounded a bulkhead with his shiv while Whony and the rest of the colts charged forward: “Red Barge is death! Red Barge is life!” “I need to renovate this hunk of shit, I swear to Verlaxion's vulva...” Skagra sneered, fighting with a rusted valve. “Rnnnngh! Come on and grind, you sweet sexy bitch box!” Across the steam controls of the central platform, a bunch of other stallions fought and fussed with the instrument panels. The bulkheads rattled from the gigantic gears grinding and moving to life deep below deck. “Boss!” One stallion rushed across the steamy, claustrophobic confines. Everyone's ears rang from the screams of battle echoing outside. “Need a hoof with that?” “I wouldn't mind a few whalebones while we're at it,” Skagra sneered, sweating hard as he finally started to get the valve spinning. “Mrmmff... I thought I told the scallywags to grease up the gears after we cruised south to intercept the dead drifts! Rnnngh... friggin' Digiff...” “Sir?” “I dunno. I just like blaming Digiff.” Skagra leaned back, fanning himself. “It's therapeutic.” The bulkheads rattled from screaming bodies being dropped to their death. “...speaking of which.” “It's the invaders, sir!” a stallion hollered from where he stood watch up at the control room's entrance. “They've... th-they've sent ponies on the wing! They're flying all over us!” “Mrrrrmff...” Skagra slapped at his glossy red bangs. “Typical pirates. Bringing pegasi to a turd fight.” Schiiing! He picked up a shark prod and dashed towards the entrance. “Time to say 'hello.'” “But boss!” One stallion stammered while the others struggled with the controls. “If Changler sent them, then they'll be after you too—” “This place is second priority just after the brig! I'm gonna put my sexy ass to good use and distract 'em! Is it my Barge or isn't it?” “Well... uhh—” Skagra stopped to point down into the heated enclosure, glaring. “Get the dayum thing to rotate counterclockwise or else I'll tell Monket it was you fairy starfish who mucked it all up!” With a sigh, he tossed his stubborn mane one last time. “Shiny... shiny dolphins...” And Skagra rushed out... ...carrying his shiny taser at the ready. He was barely twenty paces across the central platform when he encountered a group of earth pony pirates dropped from their pegasi partners. The group had cornered several families and were preparing to hack them to bits. Skagra faced them directly. He spread his legs out, standing firm on a metal platform beneath an array of pipes. The top dredger let loose a shrill whistle. The pirates' ears twitched. All eight of them turned around to face Skagra. “Sup, bitches?” Half of his face smiled. “Skagra...” One pirate spat to the side, twirled his blade, and slowly approached the stallion. Three of his companions followed closely behind, each bearing a collective sneer. The families took the opportunity to continue scampering for cover from the pegasi overhead. “As I live and breathe.” “How many brain cells does it take to do both, exactly?” “Hah! Full of sass! Just like they say all across the waves!” Schiiing! He held his blade out in a threatening stance. “About time somepony with real barnacles wiped you from the ocean's ass!” “Poetic,” Skagra slurred. He turned around once then grinned sideways at the group. “Has anypony up in Mudtop told you how ol' Skagra can cut a rug?” The pirate blinked. “Huh...?” Then—with plumes of fire erupting all across Red Barge and pegasi swooping over a sporadic chorus of screams—Skagra did a hearty jig, ending with a twirl and a bow. “Eh...?” “... ... ...” The pirate and his closest companions glared. “...that some weak-ass shit, dude.” “Hrmmff...” Skarga exhaled. “Couldn't agree more.” Then—in a split second blur—he effortlessly backflipped, grasped the pipework overhead with his lower legs, and dangled high off the ground. “Hrttt!” The shark prod went sailing down from Skagra's grasp—impacting the metal bulkhead where the first four pirates were standing. BZZZZ-zzzzztttt! “Aaa-aaa-aaaaugh!” They quartet of invaders collectively shrieked, their bodies convulsing as bolts of blue lightning danced between their gaping muzzles. One by one, their eye-sockets burst to flames, and their charred bodies fell hard to the red-hot deck panel. The other four leaned back, grimacing. Th-thap! Skagra landed on all fours. Standing up, he brushed himself off and grunted at the corpses. “Mrmmff... shoulda stuck around for the second act.” He looked up at the remaining pirates. The invaders looked back. “Boyssssssss...” Hissing, Skagra batted his eyes and galloped wildly off for the far end of the central platform. Shouting in fury, the other four pirates swiftly gave chase, galloping on the heels of the steam-burnt dredger. “Almost... g-got it...” Keris snarled. “Rrrrnnngh—graaukkt!” Digiff—with the imprisoned griffon's help—finally tossed the bulkhead off his prone body. Exhaling heavily, he rolled out from under the collapsed debris of the brig. “Nnnngh... Goddess alive... if there's anything even left alive up there...” He stumbled up the ramped pathway. “Hey... Hey!” Keris rushed along the length of bars, shouting towards the dredger. “Let me help!” “You've helped enough already,” Digiff growled out the side of his muzzle. “I can fight!” Keris hollered. “I'm a Lieutenant of the Right Talon, Mister Dredger!” His hawkeyes glinted. “Think rationally! You're shooting yourself in the hoof by just keeping me in here!” Digiff scuffled to a stop. He squinted over his shoulder. “...how could you possibly give a buck about this junkheap, continentalist?” Keris glared back. “There are mares and foals on board this platform.” His beak clenched. “While Skagra might have scorned the goddess' good grace far too many times, I simply cannot stay down here and ignore the plight of Verlaxion's own innocent foals! Now will you let me help you?!” Digiff stood in place, seething. A scream rattled the bulkheads from above deck, and he flinched. Keris hissed, “There isn't much time.” Digiff clenched his eyes shut. He shook... then exhaled. Marching over towards the cell, he swiped a set of keys off the wall, picked the lock, then forced the bent door open with a grunt. Keris stood in place. He held his manacles up. Digiff kicked up a shark prod from the floor, caught the pole-arm, and then swiped its bladed end across Keris' binds. Sl-Slincktt! He sliced the cuffs apart, freeing Keris' talons... and then did the same for his lower legs. Slinkkt! He pointed with the sparkling weapon. “The wing-clips stay on.” Keris nodded, his bound feathers coiled at his side. “Fair enough.” He followed Digiff out of the cell. “Keep close!” Digiff grunted. “And if I catch you trying to swim away... I will track you down, turn that beak of yours inside out, and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.” “I have no doubt,” Keris hummed. As he strolled up the curved ramp, he passed by Swab's favorite window. The griffon paused, turning to squint into the shadowed confines of Rainbow's cell. A petite figure remained slumped in the corner. A pair of ruby eyes reflected Keris' passing headcrest. Keris took a deep breath... ...then followed Digiff up onto the top deck. Several dredgers stood in a thick circle, surrounding the entrance to the brig. They gasped upon seeing the two emerge. “Digiff!” One stallion stammered. He struggled to speak above the noise and chaos all around. “You... you were down th-there the whole time?” He gulped. “We thought... we thought that—” “Shit fell on top of me. I don't want to talk about it.” He glared at the group. “... ... ...the hell are you all doing? Sniffing each other's farts?” “Skagra sent us to guard Red Barge's most precious asset. Tell us, is she—?” “She's still down there. Dammit... go below!” Digiff snarled, gazing up at the circling swarms of pegasi. “You're giving away the Rainbow Rogue's location! Scratch that. Half of you go down below, the other half come with me.” “But—” “Can't you see we're being creamed here?!” Digiff exclaimed. “We need to flank the enemy!” All the while, Keris had jumped up and perched on a bulkhead. He spent the entire conversation scanning the sights of Red Barge and the air above. At last, his hawkeyes narrowed on the northwest struts, and he pointed with a razor-sharp talon. “Is that were the battle is being concentrated?” “... ... ...” The guards stared at him, gaping. They turned to blink at Digiff. Digiff sighed. “He's agreed to help.” “Skagra won't like that.” “Skagra can sit on my shark prod and rotate.” “Will somepony please answer me?!” Keris shouted in an authoritarian voice, startling the group. “Uhhh... uhhh...” One gulped. “We saw top dredger Nixkit rushing in there with a bunch of Skagra's best stallions!” “Fools...” Keris pointed. “You're all unevenly spaced out! You're leaving the Barge's population vulnerable in the center for the pegasi to finish off! Then they'll close in on your concentrated forces to the northwest and eliminate your remaining defenses!” “Skagra needs to have the pirates held off so he can rotate the Barge and free Monket to—” “A naval offensive isn't going to help this situation!” Keris exclaimed. “Those boats along the horizon have their guns trained on the Barge! We need to draw them in!” He started running forward. “You have your stallions gathered?!” “Yeah, I—” Digiff grimaced. “Hey, wait!” “We have to get to the others!” Keris hollered, running and leaping over pipework. “Tell them to retreat to the center! The closer we are inward, the more we can force the enemy to advance through the miraculous chokepoints this Barge offers! Now move!” “Uhhh...” One stallion smirked. “Think you need a shorter leash, Digiff.” “Grnnngh... just do what he says!” Digiff barked. He motioned towards half of the guards, ushering them below deck. “Unless he asks to have his wings freed!” “Verlaxion forebid...” “In this case, she kinda does!” Digiff broke into a gallop, his eyes locked on the tail-feathers of his “prisoner.” “Dammit... move your seafoam flanks already!”