Golden Doubts
The Royal Opera House was packed that night for the performance of Pomane, which told the story of a unicorn who loved an alicorn and used illusory magic to take on different forms to try and win her favor. Each time he was spurned until he tried the appearance of her hoofmaiden, to whom the alicorn could not refuse a kiss, and he settled for that much.
As always, Lyrica Lilac stole the show as an unrivaled, perfect soprano, but to Crystal's delight the show was augmented beautifully by the Royal Ballet of Equestria. The orchestra, the opera, and the ballet were all in perfect harmony that night. Once the curtains had fallen, however, was when the real show began.
Although they were three of the topmost ponies everypony should know, the entourage that frequented Fancy Pants's company were a bore to be with when he wasn't around. Silver Frames always fiddled with something to hide her nerves, Swan Song's gaze kept wandering to judge ponies that walked by, and Golden Gavel hardly ever had anything of real substance to say at all.
"Dobby Canter truly put himself out there with that composition," Silver Frames finally said, her gaze darting around the circle of ponies while she nonchalantly fluttered a silver-colored fan.
"Indeed." Golden Gavel nodded. "Truly a statement indeed."
Swan Song chuckled softly. "Well, after all, it is the first Prench opera-ballet. So avant-garde."
Crystal strangled a sigh that threatened to escape her. It was the usual song and dance: skirt around making any actual value judgments, positive or negative, until somepony else makes one first, then immediately agree with their assessment. She lifted the corners of her lips into a smile. "Lyrica can always make an opera shine regardless of language or composer."
"Indubitably," Fancy Pants's voice came from behind her before the others could jump in with their praise. They all turned to see him approaching with Au in tow. "I'll be certain to let her know you—oh, my!" His eyes widened. "Crystal Wishes, belated congratulations are in order, it seems!"
Au leaned around her father to stare at Crystal with one brow raised. Silver Frames cleared her throat and fanned herself with renewed vigor. "I thought something seemed different about her," Silver muttered.
Crystal flushed and tried to keep her smile within polite parameters. "I only just recently became engaged, actually."
Fancy Pants smiled wide and clapped a hoof against the floor. "Is that so! Who is the lucky stallion?"
"I'm not sure if—" She coughed behind one hoof to interrupt herself. No, starting off his introduction with uncertainty of him being known was certainly not proper. With a light toss of her mane, she corrected, "I'm not sure if I would call him lucky, or myself." She giggled. "My fiancé is Silent Knight, Commander of—"
"Princess Luna's House Guard, yes, yes," Fancy Pants finished, nodding. "I had heard that you were perhaps dating him. What a pleasant surprise! That will make you the wife to a very important pony, then!" He reached out a hoof and winked. "Be sure to give him my congratulations, Miss Wishes. He certainly has good taste in mares."
Crystal gently placed her hoof on his and couldn't help another giggle as he leaned down to give it a gentle kiss. "Thank you, Fancy Pants."
"Fancy Pants," Golden Gavel cut in, "what did you think of the opera-ballet?"
Fancy Pants rose to his full height, turning his attention to the stallion, one brow raised. "I thought it was an enchanting rendition of classical mythos."
Swan Song clapped her hoof to the floor. "Quite right, my thoughts exactly!"
"That is exactly what I was attempting to say," Silver Frames chimed.
While Crystal tried not to roll her eyes, she saw Au orbiting Fancy Pants to position herself beside Crystal. "You're engaged, then?" Au asked, not looking at her.
Crystal swallowed, but kept her head firmly upright. "Yes, I am."
"Well, not all of us can have careers," Au said with a throaty chortle. "The world does need housewives to raise the next generation."
The hairs of Crystal's coat stood on end around her neck and shoulders. "Excuse me, Au, but I do so have a career that I will keep through marriage!"
"Do you?" Au finally looked at her, a light smirk on her lips. The ice in her eyes and in her tone sent a chill down Crystal's spine. "Who even are you?"
"I—" She choked and averted her gaze. Who even was she? C.W. Step? A romance novelist of only mild success within her genre? She was no Flora Sorbets, whose nigh countless books were found in the romance section of every bookstore. Even ponies who didn't read Flora's books knew who she was.
Slowly, Crystal's ears drooped. Who was she?
Au reached out to pat Crystal on the shoulder. "There, there. You'll make a wonderful little housewife."
Crystal didn't respond, nor did she try to push Au's hoof away. The question kept circling her mind, growing heavier and heavier with each pass. Who was she?
"Darling!" her mother's voice called, snapping Crystal out of the sudden funk and into a small panic. "So good to see you!"
Before Crystal could turn to face them, Fancy Pants cheered, "Upper Crust! Jet Set! Congratulations!"
Upper Crust came to a halt. Jet Set stopped beside her. "What?" her mother asked. "Congratulations? For what?"
"On your daughter's engagement!" Fancy Pants gestured at Crystal. He looked between Crystal's frozen form, Upper Crust's wide eyes, and Jet Set's gaping mouth. "Oh." His hoof slowly lowered. "Oh, dear."
Crystal very slowly turned to face her parents, wincing when they both gasped. The three stood in stillness and silence until Fancy Pants cleared his throat and said, "Well! We should leave these three alone to, ah, celebrate. Come along, everypony."
Fancy Pants, Au, and his entourage walked away, though that did nothing to relieve the tension hanging in the air. Crystal chewed on her bottom lip, trying to think of something to say, but Upper Crust found her voice first.
"Darling, you're... engaged?"
"Yes, Mom." Crystal nodded. "I was going to tell you, I—"
Jet Set stepped forward and looped a foreleg around Crystal's neck. "That's wonderful news, dear! When did he propose?" He paused, then quickly added, "It is Silent Knight, right? The one we talked about last year?"
Upper Crust huffed. "Nevermind who it is! That is exactly the problem! He couldn't take the time to so much as ask your father for your hoof? Or at least introduce himself to us? Darling, I'm afraid this stallion of yours has no manners at all."
"Upper Crust, dear," Jet Set cut in, one brow raised. "These are different times. Ponies don't do that anymore."
Crystal swallowed. "Mom, Dad, I—"
Upper Crust jabbed a hoof at him. "That does not make it right! Etiquette is not simply tossed aside because the average pony doesn't use it."
"This is no cause for alarm, dear." Jet Set kept gaze firmly focused on his wife. "Crystal will surely allow us a proper introduction to this Silent Knight of hers before the wedding day. Speaking of!" The smile returned to his face as he looked down at Crystal. "When is the date?"
"We just got engaged!" Crystal exclaimed, wincing at the volume of her voice. "I haven't had time to tell either of you because there hasn't been time. There is no date yet."
Upper Crust eyed her with a mixed expression between irritation and curiosity. "And when will we meet him? How do I know I even approve of him until I meet him?"
Crystal clenched her jaw as she bit back her first response. She shoved her own irritation down to replace it with a smile. "I don't know yet, Mother. He is awfully busy."
"Too busy to meet the parents of his fiancée?" Upper Crust scoffed. "Is he busy or just ill-mannered?"
"Busy, Mother." She shrugged Jet Set's foreleg from her shoulders. "And speaking of being busy, it does look awfully rude for us to be segregated from the rest of the ponies here. If you'll excuse me." She turned and started toward the nearest face she vaguely recognized.
Someday, she'd have to decide if she was going to cross or burn that bridge. That was future Crystal's problem, however. She had enough on her plate as it was. Having Silent meet her parents could absolutely wait.
---
"Wait, wait, hold on." Velvet pawed one hoof at the air while the other rubbed a circle against her forehead, her eyes closed. "So who said what?"
Crystal sighed. "Au."
"Okay." Velvet opened her eyes halfway. "And why do we care what she thinks?"
"That isn't the point!" Crystal rose from her pillow and started pacing their living room. "Whether she says it or my mother says it or you say it, the validity of the statement is true." She stopped pacing to instead hang her head. "Who am I? I write behind a pseudonym, I keep these parts of my life separate because I want to be anonymous. But you cannot be anonymous and be a somepony at the same time."
Velvet frowned. "Okay, then just tell everypony that you're C.W. Step."
Crystal sighed, flopped onto a nearby pillow, and draped a leg over her face to shield her eyes from the light. "But who is that? Who is C.W. Step? I won an award two years ago. Nopony cares about somepony who won an award two years ago, attends one convention a year, and has only written two books."
"All right, then what? You write more books and hope one really takes off?" Velvet leaned back against the couch, her shoulders rising and falling in a lazy shrug. "I mean, that's how authors become popular in the first place, right?"
Crystal didn't say anything at first. She just stared at the darkness until she slowly lifted her foreleg. "I'm not sure, to be honest, but I do know somepony who would know."
Velvet tilted her head. "Who?"
"Sunset Coffee." Slowly, she sat upright, a smile taking over her frown. "I'm taking a train to spend a few days in Manehattan next week. I was just going to ask him what the market wanted, but I'm sure he won't mind a longer conversation."
Velvet clapped her hooves and rubbed them together. "Great! So now that that's settled, I think that was everything on your list, right?"
Crystal blinked. "My list?"
Velvet's lips curled into a grin. "You said once you were done with the opera, you'd be ready to start planning your wedding. And from the sounds of it, you could use a distraction until you get to talk to your agent! Sooo..."
"Oh. Really?" Crystal glanced at the door to her bedroom. "I didn't think you were serious about that."
Velvet gasped and put a hoof to her chest. "My best friend in the whole of Equestria is getting married and she thinks I wouldn't be serious about planning?" The hoof dropped and her brow raised. "In seriousness, do you remember how much work you had to do planning and re-planning things for Horsey and Raven? The sooner the better, right?"
"I suppose you have a point." Crystal pushed herself up onto all hooves and trotted into her bedroom to retrieve what she had kept: a drawer full of magazines, two boxes of samples, and another box of flyers and brochures for vendors. Carefully, she levitated them all out of her room and back into the main area, prompting a bout of laughter from Velvet.
"Sweet Celestia, you weren't kidding when you said you kept everything!" Velvet slipped off the couch and trotted over to the nearest box. "Okay, well, first, let's rule out all the Ponyville-specific stuff." She paused, then glanced up. "Wait, where are you going to have the wedding?"
Crystal settled down beside another box and looked at brochures as her magic raised them up one by one, sorting them into neat stacks. "Canterlot, of course, unless Silent has a different idea. It's where the majority of our friends and family are, after all."
Velvet nodded. "Got it. Then first thing's first. Remove Ponyville, then focus on Canterlot."
Crystal looked over at her with a playful grin. "You sound like some kind of villain with that talk."
"Who said I'm not?" Velvet replied a little too casually.
Slowly, Crystal blinked and returned her attention to sorting brochures. It took about an hour to get everything out of the boxes and drawer, at which point Crystal looked around in dismay. "Velvet!" she cried.
"Hmm?" Velvet lifted her gaze from the magazine she had in her lap. "What?"
"Where is the floor?!"
"What?" Velvet repeated, then, after taking a quick glance around them to see they were surrounded by magazines and papers, she laughed. "Wow, you're pretty terrible at making neat and orderly stacks!"
Crystal squinted at her. "You were supposed to be helping me!" She raised a bound package of different tablecloth swatches and chucked it at Velvet, who dodged and laughed again.
"I was! But then I saw this magazine and, well, then I stopped." Velvet held out the magazine in question. "Can you blame me? This article is really interesting."
Crystal batted at the magazine with one hoof. "Help me clean up! I need—" Three knocks interrupted her and she gasped. "Silent Knight?!"
Velvet snorted. "Yeah, you do."
"Hush!" Crystal jumped to her hooves and looked around with wide eyes. "What is he going to think if he sees all this?!"
"Well, you don't have enough time to hide it, so I guess we're going to find out!" Velvet sprung from her spot, sailed over two boxes, and landed right by the door, which she opened before Crystal could protest. "Hi, Silent Knight!"
Silent blinked. He looked past her to see what looked like the results of a wedding hurricane. Everything had been unpacked without any semblance of order at all. "Hi?"
"Welcome to the madness!" Velvet giggled and jumped back over the boxes, nestled against the coffee table, and picked her magazine back up.
Crystal tried to make her way over without stepping on anything. "I'm so sorry! It's not what it looks like!"
Silent blinked again. "It looks like..." He trailed as his gaze scanned the nearest magazine covers, at which point his expression relaxed. "You're planning a third wedding?"
"Well, all right, so it is what it looks like." She made a pathway through the disarray to the couch for him to come inside and sit down. "I'm just using it as a distraction. I'm not serious about planning. It's just for fun."
"It looks like fun." On his way to the couch, he paused to place a kiss on her cheek. "What can I help with?"
Crystal shook her head. "Oh, no, nevermind all this. What did you need?"
His brow furrowed as he sat down. "Need? Do I have to need something to want to spend time with you?"
"What? No!" Heat rose to the tips of her ears. "I just, you don't usually drop by unannounced. Not that it's a problem!" She sighed, looking around. "It's embarrassing right now, but not a problem."
"Yeah, yeah," Velvet interrupted. "Hey, this says the first thing you should do is pick a dress. Getting it ordered in the right size, hemmed, and making sure that you actually want it in ivory versus silk white versus champagne with time to change your mind, it's apparently the longest process."
Silent picked up a nearby magazine and idly flipped through it while he asked, "Aren't those all the same color, though?"
Velvet rolled her eyes. "Not even. They're way different. It's a mare thing. You wouldn't understand!"
Crystal puffed out her chest and smiled. "Not to worry! I've already picked out my dress. More or less, anyway."
"More or less?" Velvet asked, grinning. "What does that mean?"
"Well." Crystal's pride deflated. "I saw it in one of these magazines. I'm not sure which one. But it's in one for certain." She sat down and levitated a magazine over, starting to flip through it. "I just have to find it again."
Velvet flipped a few pages ahead. "What did it look like?"
Crystal didn't say anything at first, her gaze locked on Silent sitting unaware of her attention. If she described it, then he would know, and that would spoil the wedding day reveal!
Velvet followed the direction of her eyes and snorted. "Okay, well, is it a merpony silhouette like this?" She flipped her magazine around to point at an example of a ballgown dress with one hoof, the other tapping her nose, and she winked.
Crystal flashed a grateful smile, then nodded. "Yes, something like that. With tulle." She glanced at Silent, who was still focused on his magazine. "And"—she gestured at her upper torso—"lots of beading and fancy stitching on the skirt."
"Got it." Velvet started flipping through the pages. "We'll find it."
They all fell into a companionable silence, interrupted only by the sound of rustling pages and the occasional false alarm of discovery. After a while, Silent piped up for the sixth time, "Is this it?"
Crystal glanced up at the page he was showing, then shook her head. "No."
"Oh." He shrugged. "This one's nice, though."
Velvet giggled and looked over at him. "It's a mare thing. You—"
"Wouldn't understand," he finished with a soft chuckle. "Okay. I give up. You two are on your own."
Crystal swallowed and rose to her hooves. "Listen, we can do this another time. Why don't you and I go out for a walk or some such activity that you might actually be interested in?"
Silent shook his head. He set the magazine on the stack of ones he'd been through and stretched out on the couch. "Actually, I'm honestly fine like this. Work has been busy and I wouldn't mind just taking a nap for a while."
Slowly, Crystal sat back down, her expression still muddled. "If you're sure. That seems like an awful waste for you to come out here just to nap on our couch."
"Hey, if he wants to nap here, let him nap." Velvet grinned and stole a glance at the stallion. "I certainly don't mind."
Crystal frowned. Though she didn't know what it was, she knew Velvet was certainly up to something. Without any indication of what, however, all she could do was just go back to looking for the dress. "Well, all right, then."
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oh my what is Velvet up too?
I am way too excited for some of these introductions. I'm sure Silent and Jet will bond further, which is good because they'll have to be a team to defuse the inevitable momageddon When Upper Crust meets Wallflower.
Poor Crystal. She is back on the social scene and sure doesn't enjoy it. Maybe if she combined her knowledge with Velvet's
love of eviltrolling she could find some fun.I can see Velvet drawing out 'okay' with one eyebrow raised.
Always serious unless not. Who knows.
When the term box is used I don't see any namby pamby little thing but a reinforced steel banded crate that would survive Red Velvet on a sugar rush.
Yep, crates.
That's right, Silent Knight, nod and smile. You've entered the phantom zone.
6458920 Ah. Well then, never mind.
THEY SAY THE QUICKEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH, BUT I HAVE FOUND OUT, THROUGH HOURS OF GRUELING RESEARCH, THAT DINOSAUR CLAWS, AND SHARP OBJECTS, SUCH AS KNIVES, WORK JUST AS WELL.
6458955 Tarps are also fairly important. Keeps clean-up to a minimum!
6458943 No worries at all! I had to reread the scene to remember the context, myself.
I don't know if I've said this before to you, but thank you for taking the time to read and comment! 
6458977
I MUST ASK, WHO DO YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR ART? IT IS ALMOST AS COOL AND WELL-MADE AS MINE.
6458996 Painted Wave did the art I use for my avatar, and goshhhh (Mari) did the cover art for this story.
6459003
IS THIS PERSON A HUMAN?
6459027 Yes, both human. If you have further questions and wouldn't mind continuing this conversation in PM rather than in this story's comments, I would greatly appreciate that.
Thanks!
Wow.... Au Is a biiiiiitch. I cant really find fault with Fancy Pants though spilling the beans. He truly didnt know that her parents didnt know about it. But I remember the part where Silent is taken to meet Crystals parents.. I cant wait to see the fireworks. Muhahahahaha. Anyway its always fun to see Velvet causing Crystal to become flustered. Anyway a great chapter and can't wait for the next update.
6459037
ONE: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
TWO: INFORM THESE FILTHY MAMMALS THAT I MAY WANT THEIR ASSISTANCE IN THE FUTURE!
Crystal looked over at her with a playful grin. "You sound like some kind of villain with that talk."
"Who said I'm not?" Velvet replied a little too casually.
Yeah know, this sorta makes me worried about Velvets mental heath, given her double life and the steps she takes to keep it hidden from her fiends, family and Co workers.
6459042
While I 100% agree, sadly she isn't wrong. It wouldn't be a issue but Crystal at times seems to want to be sonepony, while at others she seems content to be her own mare. I blame her parents (more so her mother) for putting thoughts into her head.
Onwards to more chapters! Huzzah!
Okay, so Silent's orderlyness hasn't rubbed off on Crystal. So, to reiterate from a previous chapter, what about Silent Knight has rubbed off on Crystal Wishes?
Great story!
6459136
Well we know that he is awful with files and had his office covered wall to wall with them. So actually this 'filing' method seems right up his alley.
As for what else rubbed off on her...
Well, I suppose that's one way she can have a notable role...
#ObscureReference
I know I said that Au's birth name is probably a big reason that she is the way she is, and now I'm wondering exactly what Fancy's and
Fleur'sLyrica's parenting is like. They seem rather ineffectual at curtailing Au. Are they oblivious (she's their perfect little darling) or wishy-washy (you shouldn't do that, missy, but we won't actually force you)?I bet Silent totally picked the dress that Crystal's going to wear. She just can't admit it to him right now because it wouldn't be proper. Plus, it would be a fun surprise for him to see her in the dress he liked. Crystal seems like the type to do that kind of thing.
Though, honestly, when it comes down to it, I'm always a bit surprised that Velvet goes all 'girly' when it comes to Crystal's relationship events. She doesn't at all act like such things matter, but then BAM, Crystal does something and Velvet's all over it, squealing and prancing about with the best of them.
Wait...
Is she living vicariously through Crystal for some reason? Hmmmmmm...
No! Bad Velvet! Bad!
No doing... um, whatever it is that you're doing! You just NO, and go back to... uh... that thing I can't talk about because it's a super secret!
It is SO SECRET that I really shouldn't even be talking about Not talking about it! So, just forget everything you heard except the part about you being bad.
YOU FOOL! You walked right into her trap!
I get the feeling there are going to continue to be openings in Velvets side of things that will be explained in her story.
Sometimes, I really want to slap Crystal's mom. Not all the time, just the times I'm awake.
6459091 Very aptly said. And looking at it you raise some valid points. I think Crystal is pretty well off though considering how her mom is though yes?
When she asked where was the floor, oh God I thought I was going to die.
6459565
When compared to Au and most likely some of the other kids they grew up with? Completely.
By 'they' I mean Crystal, Velvet and Horsey.
And poor Horsey... she's such a wreak in her story. I'm rather glad we know how she ends up. Seeing that poor girl work herself up over things her parents did is just heartbreaking.
Pomane by Dobby Canter... and Flora Sorbets... Any guesses on the original names for these people (and composition)?
6458825 What? Who said she's up to anything at all?
Poor Velvet, so quickly accused of tomfoolery!
6458871 I'd say about three chapters and you'll get the dreaded meeting of the parents...
6458903 Definitely crates. Shipping crates. Crystal is serious about her wedding magazine collection.
6459042 Admittedly, I rather enjoyed writing Au's lines. There's something kind of fun about writing her.
6459091 Could be her mental health, could be her incessant love of trolling Crystal...
And, yes, Although Au's intentions were cruel, she does have a point. Crystal enjoys her privacy and anonymity. She enjoys staying home and out of the limelight. Well... mission accomplished.
6459136 Well, I'm honestly not sure how to answer... erm... nothing, specifically?
I don't necessarily agree Crystal's romanticism has rubbed off on Silent in the first place, and even if it had, I'm not sure why it has to go both ways. But, anyway, I think Silent's behavior can easily be explained by 1) being in love for the first time and 2) the above-and-beyond Hearts & Hooves Day as well as Glimmer World trip... the result of a strategist in love. I don't think he's become a romantic, I think he just knew he wanted to get things "perfect" for the pony who is an over-the-top romantic.
6459202 Thanks!!
6459225 Hey, in his meager defense, that was Steel Wings's fault.
6459253 I said in the sequel. The sequel! #ObscureResponse
In my head, Fancy is a nice guy. He certainly doesn't encourage Golden's behavior. On the other hand, he's also sometimes blind to her actions because she's his darling daughter... and often times, he's busy. Really, really busy. He attends pretty much every single event there is in Canterlot. As for Fleur... Well, cue batman spinny logo!
*badadabababdabda*
Princess in the Mirror
... In all honesty, Au hates Fleur. But not because of Mommy issues! Her Mommy issues are reserved for...
*badadadadbababa*
Facades
... Lyrica Lilac.
I wholly and fully admit that I have been terrible at establishing the mothers for Horsey and Golden. I actually don't think I've ever mentioned that Horsey's mother is Fine Line. I also don't know how many times I've actually even mentioned that Horsey's father is Hoity Toity. When I finish Wishes, this is one of the first things I want to go back through and fix because it is one of my biggest failings. Mentioning their mothers' damn names more than once / never.
6459417 Velvet can't heearrr yooouuu! Lalalaaa!
6459520 Crystal knows.
She knows it's a trap, but she's powerless to stop it!
6459563 Hopefully that doesn't get too annoying, but yes, there are just things Crystal doesn't see the whole picture of / understand that Velvet's story will be explained. I do really hope that doesn't make it feel like things are missing in this story—that's not my goal at all. I don't want it to seem like it's required to read Velveteen Mask, just an optional treat.
6460088 I'm so glad someone enjoyed that as much as I did.
6460331 Yes, it makes Horsey's story so much easier to write when I (and the readers) know it'll turn out happy for her. Her self-esteem and anxiety issues run pretty deep.
That was fun to read. Yeap. That is a mare thing. I would be lost in that situation.
6460469 And that's why he gave up!
6460472 I'll join him with giving up.
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5q3BtIaB2Hc]
6460500
Oh wait, you mean I'm supposed to actually read previously posted comments instead of posting straight away and asking the author?
Damn you internet, you lied to me!
Although now that I know the why it certainly makes more sense. Although to be honest, I would consider this the happy ending. I was not, am not, nor will I ever be a fan of Blue
Bablood in stories where he does not have a completely altered persona (preferably with a legitimate backstory to explain it). I was hoping Raven didn't end up with him... YAY!6460523 Nah, you're more than welcome to comment straightaway, just as long as it doesn't seem rude if I just quote myself.
I completely agree with you! Thus why I kicked him to the curb. The happy ending is more referring to the belief that Blueblood changed, that he's a new, kinder pony, that Raven confronted him and everything worked out and now they're happy. But... yes... this happy ending is much better, and more believable.
Silent is going to wake up with a moustache
6460523
Do you know why folks insist on calling the guy "Blueballs?" I don't get it. It's not all that insulting, really, and also not very clever. Play on his name! Use some imagination, like:
"Blueblood? More like, Bluedud, amirite?"
6460740
Because it's insulting and insinuating that for all of his charm and claim as a "ladies stallion" combined with his status as a prince he still can't get the stick out of his bum to actually get anywhere.
Also, regarding your *ahem* joke let's call it...
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/57057682.jpg
Fancy was the first to notice? Talk about poor observational skills on all the others.
Ooooo. Forget Alistair, I think Au should be the real target of the secret mission.
Death.
Whoops, now that's not the best time and place to inform your parents about your brand new fiance.
Good plan.
Confound those agile ballet dancers!
Hmn. I do wonder sometimes if in truth she would have been entirely happy going for a three pony relationship with Crystal and Silent, or if this is just window shopping.
6460974
Geez, nobody appreciates witty comic genius.
Nobody except Crystal Wishes. She appreciates it.
We should probably stage an intervention, huh?
6461038 Never fear, Phyco, sweetie. I'll put your joke on the fridge.
6461014 I admittedly enjoyed writing Au's lines. There's something a little fun about being mean!
That aside, I'm not sure if Crystal had any kind of good game plan going on. She kind of had a loose hope that she'd be able to confront them herself on her own terms off to the side, hoping that being in a public place would keep her mother calm. But... yeah, not exactly the best laid plans of mice and mares.
6460424
Gah! I knew that! I swear I did... It just... wasn't in immediate access memory at the time.
So... did Lyrica, like, not give her that cookie she always wanted? Is that what you mean by mommy issues? 'Cause if that's how she's going to be, then she doesn't deserve a cookie. She should actually be...
Oh, hi, Au.
What? No. I said no cookie for you. Wait-!
/batman effects on
Bam! Pow! Whap! Biff!
/batman effects off
Nooooo! Somepony stop her; she (and her goons) stole my cookie! It was all white chocolate and macadamia too...
Where's the Mare in the Velvet Mask to swoop in and save the day when you need her?
6461014
Crystal just started again going to high society functions so I don't know that the three original ponies in that scene knew her well enough to know that it was news. Fancy seems like the kind of pony to stay current on ponies he's only met just in case he meets them again, so it would be newsworthy for him.
6461360 It's okay, I would not blame anyone for not remembering any of that. Again, it's something I hope to go back and fix someday.
6461038
Oh I appreciate comic genius, that one was just... so awful. It really was. That said, I still got a chuckle out of how awful it was. So bravo? lol.
6461360
Up until that point all I have are my wit, humor, and devilish charm. Any of that worthy? 
Aww c'mon! His joke gets on the fridge!? What do I gotta do to earn some fridge space! I'm slowly catching up... only like... 48 more chapters until I can talk about something current and relevant again.
6461716
Try writing a story that recycles the same joke for like, five chapters. That's what I did, and now I'm on the fridge, so clearly, that's the secret.
Ah, Identity crisis's. Haven't gone through mine yet, so it's only a matter of time.
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6461810
... I've only written one-shot comedies thus far. How can I repeat the same joke over and over! 
But... but
6462213
Why are you asking me? I can barely feed myself.
You remember those old Carl's Jr. commercials? "Without us, some guys would starve?" That's me.
Velvet is up to something I'm sure of it! She is going to wait until Silent Knight falls asleep to put shaving cream on one of his hooves and then attempt to tickle his nose!
6461963 Well said! I had a similar idea. I was thinking of something like this image:
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With a caption saying "Go ahead Au, insult Crystal again."
6475495 AU (pun intended) come here I have to show you something on this suspiciously open area if you see a red dot on you just stand really still
AFTER WE CAN MAKE CUPCAKES
6638292 Say housewife again, say housewife one more goddamn time
i once saw something in a magazine about dress designs...
the "mermaid" style has an extremely narrow skirt-it's actually narrower at the knees than at the waist and hips!
then there's the "column" style that goes straight down from the hips.
and the "cathedral" style that drags on the floor behind...
Is it bad that this made me see an image of Velvet screaming "HAIL HYDRA"!?
