“Twilight!” Spike shouted as he threw open the library door. He spotted her sitting by the window, a massive book next to her. He ran over to her. “Twilight, what was that about?!” he yelled. “Why didn’t you challenge Trixie? There’s no way she could’ve beat you!”
“I know that, Spike.” said Twilight as she set her book down. She turned her assistant with a frown on her face. “I have the Element of Magic, remember? I could beat Trixie with three hooves tied behind my back.”
“Then…then why didn’t you?!” asked Spike.
“Why should I?” countered Twilight. “I already know that I’m better at magic than she is. It’d just be a waste of time. Time that I could be using to either study or read or figure out how to Pinkie-proof the library.”
“But you can’t just let Trixie get away with embarrassing our friends!” said Spike. “Plus, she’s a total asshole!”
“So is Rainbow Dash, but you don’t see me trying to show her up, do you?” Twilight turned back to her book and opened it. “Besides, I’m sure Trixie won’t stay in Ponyville for too long. The crowd didn’t seem to be all that impressed by her.”
“Yeah, but-”
“You know something?” interrupted Twilight. She turned back to Spike. “I seem to recall a certain dragon promising that if I gave him a moustache, he wouldn’t bother me for the rest of the day.”
“…I have no memory of the event in question.” denied Spike.
“Oh really?” asked Twilight. She cleared her throat and said in Spike’s voice, “But Twilight! I really really need this! Can’t you do me this one favor? Please? I won’t bother you for the rest of the day, I swear!” She looked at Spike and said in her own voice. “Remember now?”
“…No.”
“You’re an idiot.” said Twilight. “Fortunately, I do remember that promise. I don’t want you to bother me for the rest of the day, alright?”
Spike sighed and said, “Fine.” Defeated, Spike left Twilight to her books and went upstairs.
Everfree Forest- A Few Hours Later:
“Snails?” asked Snips as he nervously looked around at the dark trees around them. “A-are you sure we should do this?”
Snails nodded as he led the way. “Nobody believes that Trixie did the things she said. We just have to prove that she can.”
“Yeah, but isn’t there a better way?” asked Snips. “The Everfree forest gives me the creeps.”
Snails stopped and shushed his companion. “We’re here.” he whispered.
Snips and Snails were in front of a dark cave. A loud rumbling sound could be heard inside of it. The two colts gathered their courage and headed inside. Almost instantly, the darkness of the cave smothered the two.
“Snails, I can’t see anything.” whispered Snips.
“Me neither.” agreed Snails. “Hang on.” A bright red glow came from Snails’ horn, lighting up the cave.
“Good job!” said Snips. “Now let’s find that Ursa-”
A low growl came from behind them.
“Major?” finished Snips slowly.
The two colts turned around to see a hellish red eye staring at them.
“Found it!” said Snails happily as Snips ran for the cave’s entrance.
Ponyville- A Few Minutes Later:
Spike trudged down one of Ponyville’s dirt roads and moodily kicked a pebble. “God, this day sucks.” he whined. “I lost my moustache, I saw rainbow-colored puke, and Twilight won’t fight Trixie.” Spike stopped walking for a moment and sighed. “At least I got to take off Rarity’s dress. That was a plus.”
“AAAAHHHH!” screamed a high-pitched voice.
Spike jumped. “It’s not a big deal!” he shouted. “You ponies don’t wear any clothes anyway!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAOHMYGOD!” screamed the voice again. Spike looked down the road to see that Snips and Snails were running towards him.
“Hey guys!” greeted Spike as he waved at them. “Where’s the fire?”
A massive blue bear suddenly burst through the trees and let out an earth-shaking roar. It glared at the retreating ponies and gave chase.
“Oh…” said Spike, eyes widening. He promptly turned tail and ran towards the library.
Snips and Snails ran to Trixie’s cart and pounded their hooves on the door. The door opened and Trixie stuck her head out, glaring at the two. “What do you idiots want?” she asked.
“Hello Trixie!” said Snails happily.
Trixie sighed and said, “Hello. What do you want?”
“Okay,” said Snips, “Remember when you said that if someone brought an Ursa Major to fight you, you’d find a way to beat it?”
Trixie stared at the two for a moment before sighing and closing her eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t-”
“We found an Ursa Major for you to beat!” said Snails as he pointed at the patiently waiting bear, which raised a paw and waved at Trixie.
“…Well fuck.” said Trixie, stepping out of her cart. The monster bear growled and picked up Trixie’s now empty cart and threw it. Trixie watched as her home flew into the distance. “Double fuck.” she said.
“What do we do, Trixie?” asked Snails.
“Trixie has a cunning plan!” said the showmare.
“Which is?” asked Snips.
The bear growled and took a step closer.
“RUN!” screamed Trixie. The three ponies ran away, the bear in close pursuit.
Meanwhile:
Spike rushed into the library and slammed the door shut. “TWILIGHT!” he screamed.
Twilight growled and looked up from her book. “Spike, quiet!” she scolded. “I’m just getting to the good part!”
Spike looked at the title of the book and raised an eyebrow. “You’re reading a book named after you?”
Twilight huffed. “Sure, it’s named after me. Whatever.” She went back to her book and mumbled, “Edward. Just turn Bella into a vampire and fuck her brains out already, you big pussy…”
“Twilight!” said Spike. “You need to come outside! There’s-”
“I’m sure whatever’s out there can wait, Spike.” interrupted Twilight. “I just want to finish-”
“We will be finished if you don’t-”
“If you’d let me just read-”
“There’s no time! You need to-”
“I told you not to bother-”
“I’m only bothering you because-”
“I thought you would keep your promise, but I guess-”
“TWILIGHT!” screamed Spike. “THERE IS A BIG BLUE BEAR OUTSIDE THAT WILL DESTROY THE TOWN IF YOU DON’T MOVE YOUR NERDY ASS NOW!”
“…Run that by me again?” asked Twilight.
A loud roar shook the library, and Spike and Twilight rushed to the window. Outside, the Ursa was rampaging through town as panicked ponies ran for the relative safety of the hills.
“We have to get out there!” said Twilight. She turned to Spike and said, “Why didn’t you tell me?
Spike glared at her and sighed. “It’s not even worth it…” said Spike as he walked outside.
Meanwhile…Again…
“Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shits shit…” repeated Trixie as the Ursa stomped towards her and the two colts.
“So what’s your plan of attack, Trixie?” asked Snips.
Trixie’s eye twitched. “Besides run away and hope the Ursa is too busy eating you to notice?”
“You can do it, Trixie!” said Snails. “You’re the most powerful unicorn in Equestria!”
Trixie gulped and turned back to Ursa. “I hope you’re right…” she whispered. She stepped forward and yelled, “Prepare yourself, monster! I am the great and powerful Trixie! The most skilled and powerful unicorn in all of Equestria!”
The Ursa yawned, entirely unconcerned with the loud unicorn in front of it.
“Don’t believe me?” asked Trixie, glaring at the Ursa. “Then have a taste of my magic!” Trixie horn gave off a bright flash. The Ursa put its paws over its eyes, roaring in pain.
“You blinded it!” said Snails.
“I did?” asked Trixie in disbelief. “I-I mean of course I did!” She turned around and bragged, “Did you think a big stupid bear could possibly defeat the great and powerful-”
“Ahem.”
Trixie turned back around, her eyes widening. The Ursa was no longer staggering around in pain and was glaring at Trixie with red, watery eyes.
“Um…” said a suddenly meek Trixie. “What do you say we call it a tie?”
The Ursa responded with opening its maw and letting out another roar. Trixie closed her eyes and prepared for the end.
“Not so fast!” yelled a voice.
Trixie opened her eyes just in time to see a massive rock smash against the Ursa’s face. The Ursa stumbled and smashed its head against a nearby building. “What the-” said Trixie. She turned around to see Twilight running towards them with Spike on her back.
“Miss Twilight?” asked Snips. “You saved us!”
“Yeah.” said Twilight as she came to a halt. “I bet that attack rocked his world, huh? Get it? ‘Rocked’ his world?”
Trixie, Snips, and Snails just stared at her.
“That was so bad it hurt.” said Spike as he hopped off Twilight’s back. “Stop making bad jokes and just kill the damn thing already.”
“No!” said Snails suddenly. “We brought that Ursa Major here for Trixie to fight, not Twilight!”
“You brought this here?!” yelled Twilight. “You idiots! Do have any idea what could have happened? You could’ve killed us all!”
“Guys?” asked Spike suddenly. He pointed at the Ursa, which was getting back up. “Can we yell at them after we kill this thing?!”
Trixie looked at the Ursa and said to Twilight, “I hope you know how to stop this thing, because I have no idea.”
“I kinda hoped the rock would finish it off, to tell you the truth.” whispered Twilight.
The Ursa stood up growled fiercely. It opened its mouth and let out another loud roar.
“JUNIOR!” yelled a voice.
The Ursa’s eyes widened and he muttered, “Oh fuck me…”
If the ponies in Ponyville thought the first bear was big, it was nothing compared to this one. The massive purple Ursa towered above the blue one, and was glaring at it.
“I turn my back for one minute and you sneak out of the forest!” said the purple Ursa. “Not only that, but you terrorized these poor ponies!”
“But Mom…” began the smaller Ursa.
“No buts!” interrupted the huge Ursa. “You’re grounded, young man! And don’t think your father won’t hear about this! Now…” She reached out a paw and grabbed her son’s ear. “Apologize to these ponies for the trouble you’ve caused.”
“But they…”
“Now!”
The younger Ursa grimaced and turned to the ponies. “I’m sorry.” he said with a voice that heavily implied that he was not sorry.
“Good enough.” said his mother. “Now,” she started pulling her son by his ear, “Let’s go back to the forest so you can think about what you’ve done.”
“Aw, Mom…” groaned the younger Ursa as he was dragged away.
Twilight and the others watched the two monster bears walk away. “…What just happened?” asked Twilight.
“I think the mama bear just saved our asses.” said Spike.
A loud cheer made both Spike and Twilight turn around. Rainbow Dash flew towards them with most of Ponyville after her. “That was awesome Twilight!” said Rainbow. “You stopped the Ursa Major!”
“Ursa Minor.” said Twilight. “And his mom did more to stop him than I did.”
“Yeah, but you hit him in the face with a rock!” said Rainbow. “That took balls!”
“I…don’t have any.” said Twilight. “And it would have been a lot worse if Trixie didn’t distract him.”
“Hey…” said Spike, looking around. “Where is Trixie?”
“And where’s Snails?” asked Snips.
Canterlot- Hours later:
“What did Twilight’s letter say, sister?” asked Luna as she walked into her sister’s bedroom.
Celestia looked away from the window and sighed. “It looks like Trixis’ descendant showed up in Ponyville. From what Twilight wrote, it seems like she didn’t receive any of her ancestor’s power.” Celestia walked towards Luna. “Twelve hundred years ago, we stopped Trixis’ husband, King Snailovitch, from invading Equestria. As he died, his power was transferred into his newborn foal. Since then, every time we kill the one who inherited Snailovitch’s power, it gets transferred into a child from that family.”
“Then that child shows massive magical ability, showing up when they get their Cutie Mark.” finished Luna. “I already know this, Celestia.”
“I know you do.” said Celestia. “But tell me this. If this Trixie didn’t receive any of Snailovitch’s power, then who did?”
Hours Earlier- Outskirts of Ponyville:
Trixie sighed as she looked over the wreckage of her cart. She spotted her hat and cape laying among the debris. She picked up her hat and dusted it off before jamming it on her head.
“‘The Great and Powerful Trixie…’” she muttered. “Yeah right…”
“Trixie!” yelled a voice.
Trixie turned around and saw Snails standing a little ways away from her. “Hello Snails…” she said sadly.
“I’m sorry, Trixie.” said Snails. “This was all my fault.”
“It’s not all your fault. Your pudgy blue friend played a part in it too.” said Trixie scathingly. She grabbed her cape and threw it on.
“…Sorry…” muttered Snails. “I just wanted to prove that you were the best unicorn in Equestria.”
Trixie stared at the ground before saying bitterly, “I knew it was a mistake to come back here.”
“Trixie,” began Snails, “Why don’t you stay?”
“No.” said Trixie, walking away from her destroyed cart. “Mom and Dad would never take me back in. I told them I was going to become the strongest unicorn in Equestria and I will. No matter what.” She started to walk down the path leading out of Ponyville before turning back to Snails. “Thanks for trying to help, little brother.”
Snails smiled sadly as he watched Trixie walk away. “See you around, sis.”