//------------------------------// // A Study in Pink // Story: MLP: FML // by Maniac92 //------------------------------// Fluttershy landed at Froggy Bottom Bog and put the basket of frogs down. The amphibians hopped out and left, aside from one. “Hi, Ho! Kermit the Frog here!” said the last frog as he hopped out. He turned and looked at Fluttershy. “Thank you for getting us all out of that school!” Fluttershy smiled. “No problem. I’m just glad you guys are safe!” She paused for a moment. “Um…if it’s not too much to ask…can you sing a song?” “Sure!” said the frog. He pulled out a banjo and started strumming it. He opened his mouth and sang, “Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what’s on the other side…” Meanwhile: Pinkie giggled to herself as she bounced around one of Ponyville’s fountains. Unbeknownst to her, a nearby bush was moving closer and closer to her. “And the hunter spots her prey,” muttered Twilight as she aimed the tranquilizer gun at Pinkie. A pith helmet was on her head and binoculars were around her neck. “Um…Twilight?” asked Spike, casting a worried look at the unicorn. “Aren’t you taking this a little too far?” Twilight laughed and patted Spike on his head. “Oh Spike. Is it ‘taking things too far’ if you tranquilize a friend, drag them off to your secret lab, and perform painful experiments on them?” “…Yes,” answered Spike. “Oh, what do you know?” replied Twilight, leveling the gun at Pinkie again. “Quite a lot considering you give me encyclopedias every year for my birthday,” replied Spike. Twilight ignored that and watched Pinkie bounce away. “She’s on the move!” she said. Twilight picked up the bush and followed the pink party pony. Pinkie stopped at the schoolhouse and started playing on the playground. Twilight quickly set the bush down and watched from a distance. In the schoolhouse, Apple Bloom took a break from her pop quiz and looked out the window. “Is that Pinkie Pie?” she whispered to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Scootaloo gasped and looked around. “Oh God, where?!” “Outside,” answered Apple Bloom. She raised an eyebrow at Scootaloo. “What’s wrong?” Scootaloo took off her sunglasses and wiped her sweaty brow with a shaking hoof. “You don’t know man!" she sobbed. "You just don’t know!” Outside, Twilight was aiming her gun at Pinkie. “Carefully…” she muttered. “Carefully…” She started to squeeze the trigger. “How will you squeeze the trigger without fingers?” asked Spike suddenly. Twilight jumped and fired wildly. The tranquilizer dart sailed past Pinkie’s head and struck a nearby beehive. An angry swarm of bees came buzzing out of their hive. “What’s all this then?” asked one. “Some bastard shot a bloody dart at our hive!” reported another bee. “Is it that rainbow tart again?” asked the first bee. “Hang on…” said the other. He looked and spotted Twilight. “It’s some purple bastard that done it!” “Let’s give her hell, lads!” yelled the first bee. The swarm buzzed angrily and made a beeline for Twilight. “They look kind of angry at us, huh Spike?” asked Twilight worriedly. She turned around, but Spike had disappeared. “That little-” The bees dove at Twilight and completely covered her. Later: Twilight winced as she aimed the gun at Pinkie, large band-aides covering her body. “What would Pinkie be doing at Sweet Apple Acres?” asked Spike, having hidden himself next to Twilight. “From what I can tell,” said Twilight, her gun resting on the hay bale she and Spike were behind, “She’s smelling a flower.” “Really?” asked Spike. “I would have thought she would have come here to see Applejack or something. I mean, we passed literal fields of flowers on our way over here; what makes that particular one so special?” “Spike,” began Twilight, gazing through the scope of the gun, “I already have enough questions about Pinkie, ok? I don’t need you adding more.” She paused to aim her gun. “I…I can’t get a good shot from here!” She started backing up, not taking her eye off of Pinkie. “Come on…come on…” “Twilight, maybe you should look where you’re going,” suggested Spike. “Spike,” said Twilight, “I’m trying to concentrate.” She kept backing up, but because she wasn’t looking, she fell into an open cellar. Screaming, she fell down the stairs. Spike ran to the cellar and heard Applejack’s voice. “Twilight!” said Applejack’s voice. “Ah didn’t know you were comin’ over to see mah new cellar! That’s mighty kind of-” She paused. “Is yer leg supposed ta bend like that?” “No…” muttered Twilight’s voice. “No, it is not.” One hospital trip later: Twilight and Spike hid behind a park bench. Twilight’s front legs were in casts and she was sitting in a wheelchair. Spike looked at her worriedly. “Um…are you sure you don’t want to stop?” Twilight growled and did her best to aim the gun. “No! I’m going to study Pinkie if it kills me!” “It is killing you!” yelled Spike. “Shut up, Spike!” said Twilight. She struggled to lift the gun. “I can still do this!” “Ok…” sighed Spike. He walked to a safe distance. “I’ll just be over here, calling the paramedics.” “Spike,” said Twilight, “I do not need the fucking-” She paused and looked at Pinkie. “Is…is her tail twitching again?” Suddenly, a flower pot shattered against Twilight’s head. Then an anvil crashed on her, shattering her wheelchair. Then a wagon full of hay bales smashed her into the ground, snapping the tranquilizer gun in half. Then a grand piano fell from the sky and hit her. “Ow…” she whimpered from the wreckage. Up in the sky, a team of five pegasus ponies were in the process of moving somebody’s belongings. Four of them were glaring at their fifth member. “Derpy!” yelled a mare with yellow fur and a turquoise mane. “Why do you keep dropping things?!” “Sorry Raindrops!” said Derpy. “It won’t happen again!” She grabbed another box. “Say, are these kitchen knives sharp?” “Yeah,” answered Raindrops, “Why?” Derpy laughed, her wall-eyes shifting around. “No reason!” A twisted grin appeared on her face as she opened the box and turned it upside-down. Knives, cleavers, and a battle-axe fell out of the box. As Twilight screamed, Derpy laughed softly and said, “No reason at all.” Much later: Pinkie waved at Applejack, who was walking towards her with a large basket of apples on her back. “Hey!” greeted the pink pony. “What are you doing?” “Takin’ these apples to mah brand new apple cellar!” said Applejack happily. “What about you?” “Running from Twilight and her attempts to drug and kidnap me so she can perform all sorts of inhumane and crazy experiments on me because I have a type of magic she doesn’t understand,” said Pinkie in one breath. “I’ve been letting her follow me and letting her ruin her own plans in extremely humiliating ways.” “Ah…see?” said Applejack, confused. “How’s that workin’ for ya?” Pinkie pointed behind the farmer. Applejack turned around and saw Spike wheeling Twilight, who was in a new wheelchair and in a full-body cast, up to them. “Seems to be going well so far!” said Pinkie happily. She smiled at Twilight. “Done trying to kidnap me?” Twilight’s screams of rage were muffled by her cast. Her horn, the only part of her not covered by the cast, glowed. A pencil and notepad floated up into the air. The pencil scribbled something onto the notepad, which flew into Spike’s grasp. “What does it say?” asked Pinkie excitedly. The color drained from Spike’s face as he read the note. He crumbled up the note and threw it behind him. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” He turned to Twilight and said, “And I don’t think that’s physically possible. That battle-axe would never fit.” Twilight’s horn glowed and the words I’ll Make It Fit appeared above her head. Pinkie laughed out loud. “Oh Twilight, you’re so much fun! I wish Fluttershy was here.” She wiped a tear out of her eye. “It’s too bad she’s too busy being in mortal danger. I think she’d love to see this.” The others stared at her. “Can you repeat that last part, Sugarcube?” asked Applejack. Meanwhile, back in Froggy Bottom Bog: “The lovers, the dreamers, and me,” finished Kermit. Fluttershy clapped her hooves. “Bravo!” she cheered. Kermit bowed, his banjo in hand. “Thank you for listening. It’s not everyday someone asks to hear me sing. It’s not easy being green, you know.” Unbeknownst to the two of them, something large rose up out of the water some distance away. Its eyes narrowed at the sight of Fluttershy and its jaws opened, showing jagged, razor sharp teeth.