I'm Offensive and I Take Offense

by Gapeagle


Post Dramatic Disorder

"Look at all this candy!"

Pinkie was bouncing around the throne room of Twilight's castle, happily partaking in the simple rituals of Family Appreciation Day. Of course, she would have to be with her real family that day, but she had to make trips to all her families, including her friends. So at this moment, she was visiting Twilight, who was also looking at the small pile of candy of the Cutie Map.

"Oh boy! Are there gems in the pile?" Spike eagerly asked.

"Probably not, but I'll get some for you later, little brother," Twilight said and petted the scaly head with love.

"Hey!" Starlight called when she came in the room. "What's going on?"

"Starlight!" Twilight waved, but upon seeing her, stopped. "What happened to your mane?"

"My mane?" Starlight nervously responded. "I....uh...made Rarity redo it..."

"You actually talked to Rarity?" Spike was shocked.

"I'm...I'm not proud of it," Starlight mumbled.

"Well, doesn't matter," Twilight giggled. "Come on, we have candy, we'll share."

Starlight, uncharacteristically, walked up to the Cutie Map with severe nervousness. She took a seat in Rainbow's throne. When she sat down, Pinkie excitedly pushed a bunch of candy towards her.

"We got Swirls, chocolate bunnies, and Sunburst chewies," Pinkie said.

Starlight suddenly froze, her eyes twitching madly and sweat pouring down her face. Her pupils were mere pinpricks as she stared into space. The other ponies looked at each other and then back at the pink unicorn.

"Starlight?" Twilight asked.

The unicorn shook her head and snapped at of whatever she was doing. "Oh? Sorry. What was that, Pinkie?"

"You wanna Sunburst?" the earth pony held up a colorful chewy piece of candy.

"Gah!" Starlight reeled her head back and started breathing in short gasps.

"Pinkie, what did you do to her?" Spike asked worriedly.

"I just said Sunburst!" Pinkie shrugged. "I swear."

The pink unicorn was now sideways in the throne, gasping for air and whispering incoherent mumbling. She soon got the strength to turn her head and look at Pinkie with frightened eyes.

"Don't. Say. That. Word."

"Sunburst?" Pinkie gulped.

"Yes! That one!" she growled back.

"It's because Sun-thing was a friend of hers way back," Twilight explained.

"And that friendship still haunts me! You don't realize how traumatic it was!"

"You mean when he left you because of a cutie mark?" Spike deadpanned.

"Exactly! I suffer from PTSD because of it! You should all respect that!"

"Respect you being dramatic?" Twilight sighed. "You do know what PTSD stands for, right?"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder! I suffer from it!"

"I'm sorry, but you don't," Twilight frowned.

"Of course that'll be just what you say! Damn you, Twilight! Can't you believe anything I say? Sunburst was a good friend and I lost him, never to make a friend again! The memories haunt me and his name triggers them!"

"There are those out there with real PTSD, Starlight. I don't think your mishaps with friends can create that. You're just being overly dramatic. Like, even more dramatic than Rarity," Twilight said simply.

"Don't mind Twilight," Pinkie said suddenly. "I kinda understand what you're feeling."

"Pinkie?" Twilight blinked in confusion.

Pinkie wrapped a leg around Starlight's shoulder. "I'm not sure if I've told Starlight, but my childhood was not happy or fun in the slightest. Like, not one bit! It was not until Rainbow's sonic rainboom did I see any beauty in the world. And my parents were very strict, even after the rainboom. That doesn't mean I hate them or anything. I'll be visiting them real soon."

"Yes, Pinkie," Twilight sighed. "That's not PTSD either."

"Well, I didn't say it was, silly filly! We all have troubling times in our lives. That's why I love, love, love to go out and make ponies smile. Not because the world is just a happy place, but because it's not a happy place. Why be someone to spread more contempt to a world full of it when you can add love and care?"

"Are you suggesting I'm in the wrong here?" Twilight frowned.

"Well, yes and no," Pinkie nervously smiled. "You're right that Starlight's feelings are probably exaggerated, but I'd say you're wrong to denounce her feelings. Sometimes even the simplest of things can really hurt somepony. I mean, I hate it and all when ponies think I'm not the best party planner. Why? It's not because of my ego, it's because I won't be a part of their happiness which saddens me and reminds me of a time when I had no happiness. When you guys didn't come to Gummy's after party, I lost it. And that's just me. Fluttershy has tons more fears, but we don't go to her and say her fears aren't true."

"Fine," Twilight sighed again. "Starlight, do you want to talk about Sunburst?"

"I think I'll go to my safe space and come out when I've calmed down," was the answer.

"Seriously?" Spike face-clawed.

"Well yes. All this talk about my horrible moments of life and threatening my well-being. I'm glad Pinkie sees some of me within her, but she still says I do not suffer from PTSD, so she is still a damaging viewpoint that is being hurled at me. See you guys later, maybe."

"There's no getting to you, is there?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

Starlight walked out and into the hallway. Because of the castles odd pathways, she had to walk by the main entrance. When she was near it, the sound of knocking came from the door.

"I guess I'll get it..." Starlight huffed.

She walked over it and opened it to see a orange and white unicorn stallion with round glasses before her. He smiled at her nervously and her eyes widened. A nasty snarl formed on her lips.

"Hey?" Sunburst began. "I heard you were living with the Princess of Friendship here. I knew you were in the Crystal Empire to see the Crystalling and how Princess Cadance threw you out of a window and all..."

"You! Awful! Horrible! Lousy! Friend!"

"What?"

Starlight pounced on the poor stallion and began knocking the snot out of him. Short "ow's" and "oh's" came from the wizard as each hoof met his now uneven face.

Up above from the throne room's window, Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie watched the event unfold. While the other two had looks of concern, Twilight simply had a smug expression.

"Uh, shouldn't we help him?" Spike asked.

"Nah, this is good for her PTSD," Twilight said. "You know, overcoming fears and all."

"Um, Twilight?" Pinkie asked worriedly. "He's gettin' the cupcake batter knocked out of him."

Twilight then blinked once. "You're right. Let's go save him."


"You horrible friend!" Starlight yelled.

"I'm sorry! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!"

She then stopped punching and looked down at him with tears in her eyes. "Oh! You magnificent bastard! I've missed you so much!"

Starlight wrapped her hooves and his neck and began crying on his fluffy chest. His face was sore from the blows, but he had enough strength to smile at her. Finally, he thought, she calmed down. His hooves patted her on the back softly.

"Mares, I'll never understand how their minds work."

Starlight then lifted her head once more with fire in her eyes. "You misogynistic jerk!"

"I'm sorry! I take it back!" he croaked as one of her hooves was about to smack him.

"Aw," she sniffled. "I love you!"

She returned to snuggling him on the ground. The trio finally arrived only to see the two friends interacting in that manner. Twilight and Pinkie glanced at each other confusedly.

"Well, guess he doesn't need saving," Twilight said.

"Of course he does. He's not single anymore," Spike stated knowingly. "Poor guy."

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