"Haha! Dear Sister is gone! Now I shall rule the land, FOREVER! Hahaha!"
Luna did several hoof pumps in the air to display her tremendous joy. Celestia was gone! Luna was now the supreme princess of Equestria! With incessant giggling and squeals of delight, Luna hopped around her palace bedroom.
That was, until a Royal Guard knocked on the door frame, trying to get her attention.
"Uh...Your Highness? I have a message," he nervously said.
Luna paused in her celebration. "What is it? Is it good or ill news?"
"Well, good for some, ill for you," he replied.
"Then spit it out, naive!" Luna barked before softening her voice. "I mean, go on and read it, my humble guard."
The guard blinked before levitating a piece of paper in front of him. "Due to Luna's pro-slavery views in the year 67 B.C.E, she and any symbols of her (i.e. cutie mark, crescent moon, etc) have been banned from public eye due to offensiveness. Any symbols of her will now be viewed as pro-slavery symbolism and pro-bigot propaganda. Signed....Everypony with a soul."
Luna was aghast. "What!? But I am no longer pro-slavery! That was just when I was young and foolish with power. By what power do the ponies have to banish my name?"
"I guess the power of the masses, Your Highness," the Royal Guard shrugged.
"And what is this 'B.C.E'? Should it not be B.C.R.?"
"Well, you see, those equal protesters have issued that Before/After Celestial Reign is offensive to those who don't believe in you or your sister's divine right to rule. So, to be equal, we are now using Before/After Common Era."
"That's stupid and unnecessary."
The guard shrugged once more. "I'm just the messenger."
"Who gave all this power to the protesters?!"
"Why, that would be your sister."
Party Favor sighed in an non-offensive way. Him and the other equal ponies inspected the hall of the Royal Palace. The white alicorn that used to live there was indeed privileged.
"All this money sitting in this palace and not spreading the wealth, it makes me mad," Night Glider crossed her front legs.
"Look at these stained glass windows," said Double Diamond. "What nationalistic propaganda! Only the ignorant would believe these things! Anypony with sense would know that Equestria is a horrible empire that is taking land away from other species!"
"And most of the Royal Guards are white unicorns!" Sugar Belle moaned. "Could there be any less diversity in this neo-fascist society?"
Luna came storming down the palace steps and into the hall. Her face red with anger and her pupils so small that she appeared most insane. The equal ponies took instant notice of her and stared at her with stubborn eyes.
"How dare you!" Luna screamed. "How dare you ban me and my image from my own nation!"
"Do not blame us, you dictator!" Party Favor shot back. "Blame yourself. It is you who promoted slavery and eternal night!"
"I am a different pony!"
Part Favor laughed. "Ha! You dealt with Celestia tightly. You and her are both tyrants! Equestria is now a land of equality, we have no place for alicorn jerks who wish to repress the working class and those less privileged. So either recant your privilege or be a synonym for 'bigot' for the rest of your life!"
"I see why Tia left..."
"You are a symbol of cruel dictatorship and slavery!" he continued. "Not only would it be offensive to ponies to let you carry on, but it would be proof that alicorns can get away with anything. We shall no longer be under the rule of a dictator! The alicorn supremacy and inherent racism in the system must come to an end and anyone who challenges it is the reason why this world sucks!"
"Let's take her down!" an equal stallion yelled.
"Tie her up!"
"Burn her!" an equal mare suggested.
"We can't burn her," Sugar Belle said. "That would be offensive to some cultures."
"Oh yeah..."
Luna picked them all up and opened a palace window. Before any of them knew it, all the equal ponies were promptly chucked out through the window. Their pitiful screams all ended with loud thuds and only groans and moans followed. Luna simply grunted in approval and smiled.
"That was easy," she said.
"Easy is an offensive word for mares!" an equal stallion cried out from far below.
Luna rolled her eyes. "What will they do next, ban simple exercises? Truly pathetic."
A Royal Guard cleared his throat. "Well, they already banned yoga for being offensive to the non-bendy."
"Oh no! Not my nightly yoga classes!" Luna gasped. "Those fiends!"
"And Nightmare Night for celebrating tyranny and slavery and also being offensive to superstitious cultures," he added.
"Anything else?"
"Yup, Hearth's Warming is banned for celebrating ponies invading Equestria and displacing the native population."
"By Celestia!" Luna yelled.
"That's an offensive phrase!" an equal mare shouted through a groan of pain.
"Falling through windows triggered terrible flashbacks to my childhood," Night Glider said. "Oh....bloody windows..."
~