Back From the Future
“Twilight,” said Spike tiredly, “You cannot stay in a bush for the rest of your life.”
The bush shook, sending snow falling to the ground. “The hell I can’t!” said Twilight as she remained hidden. “I ruined Winter Wrap Up!”
“You didn’t mess everything up.” said Spike. “All you did was cause one itsy-bitsy little avalanche, making the overworked ponies have even more work to do, and delaying the completion of Winter Wrap Up by several hours.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” asked Twilight from the bush.
“I doubt it.” said Spike. “You did ruin Winter Wrap Up, after all.”
“Rainbow Dash!” yelled a voice.
Spike turned to see Applejack glaring at the blue-furred Pegasus. “You and the Weather Team need to melt the snow right now!”
Rainbow Dash winced and rubbed her ears. “I’m standing right here, do you really need to yell at me?”
“YES AH DO!” screamed Applejack.
“Alright, alright!” hollered Rainbow Dash as she rubbed both of her ears. She turned and came face-to-face with Fluttershy.
“You can’t!” exclaimed Fluttershy. She paused for a moment to cough violently. “All the dens and warrens will get flooded if the snow melts too fast. I still need to find my animals.”
“Hang on!” shouted Applejack as she pushed Rainbow Dash out of her way. “Ah got a whole field full of snow that needs melted. Ah can’t wait for you. Do Ah have to remind you that the Mayor wants this Winter Wrap Up to be done quickly?”
Fluttershy glared at Applejack. “And do I have to remind you that the only reason I have to look for my animals is because they all left when I was kicked several months into the future?”
Applejack narrowed her eyes and moved closer to Fluttershy. “Ah wouldn’t have kicked ya into the future if you hadn’t fucked with mah apples.”
Fluttershy snorted and moved closer to Applejack. Their faces were inches apart. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Applejack.” Fluttershy said sarcastically. “I should’ve realized those apples meant so much to you. It’s not like you have an ENTIRE FUCKING ORCHARD FULL OF THEM!”
The two ponies glared at each other, neither blinking or moving. Nothing could distract them from their hatred for each other. It would take a miracle or-
“ACHOO!” sneezed Fluttershy, spraying Applejack.
…Something disgusting.
Applejack gagged and started spitting on the ground. “God, Ah got it in mah mouth!” she yelled, her face turning green.
Fluttershy sniffed. “Does anyone have a hanky?” she asked.
The Mayor ran forward, tossing another box of tissues at Fluttershy’s head. She turned to Applejack and said, “Are you alright, Applejack? Do you need anything? Mouth-to-mouth?”
Applejack spit on the ground again. “Ah’m fine, Mayor.” she said, the green in her face lessening.
“Are you sure?” asked the Mayor. “I can give you mouth-to-mouth.”
“Ah’m alright.” said Applejack.
“Damn it.” muttered the Mayor. She turned and glared at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “Why are all of you arguing? This is why we were late with Winter Wrap Up last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. And the year…”
“So we were a little late last year.” said Rainbow. “What’s the big deal?”
The Mayor glared at Rainbow Dash. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to be the only mayor whose town is late for spring?” She pulled out a cell phone and pressed a button. Loud laughter was heard.
“Who is that?” asked Fluttershy.
“Who is that?” repeated the Mayor. “Oh, it’s no one really. Just the Mayor of Manehattan.” She pressed another button and even louder laughter was heard. “And the Mayor of Trottingham.” She pressed another button and an orgasmic moan was heard. “And Princess Celestia herself!”
Twilight poked her head out of the bush and looked at Spike. “Spike, did you hear that?”
“Yeah!” said Spike. “Why am I sending letters to the Princess if she has a cell phone? You could just call her to talk to her.”
“Not that.” said Twilight. “They’ve been late for Winter Wrap Up for years!”
“We’re going to be late again!” yelled the Mayor. “I mean, just look at this clusterfuck!” She pulled out a clipboard and looked over the list of problems. “The ice scorer’s are busy trying to get a tree off the ice, the nest designer is in her store crying, clouds are still in the sky, there’s a singing ice man in the Town Square…”
Meanwhile, in the Town Square:
A man who looked like he was made out of ice danced around the Town Square, singing, “They call me Snow Miser! Whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch!” He tipped his hat to the ponies that were watching him. “I’m too much.”
Back with the others:
The Mayor threw her clipboard behind her and sobbed, “We’re fucked! Again!”
Applejack patted the Mayor’s back comfortingly. “It’s not all bad.” she said. “Mah team is plantin’ the seeds for all the vegetables as we speak.”
Big Macintosh walked forward, wearing a woman’s parka. “Um, A.J…about the seed…
“…Ya left Caramel in charge of it, didn’t ya?” asked Applejack.
“I SpILLed My sEEd eVERywheRE!” yelled Caramel. “On tHe GrOuND, IN tHe SnoW, EveN IN NoTEWorthy!”
Big Mac sighed. “Why did we hire him, again?”
A purple-furred Pegasus mare landed by Rainbow Dash. “Um…Rainbow?”
“Yes, Rainbowshine?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“You know how you told me to go get the southern birds?” asked Rainbowshine tentatively.
“If I recall correctly,” began Rainbow Dash, glaring at the other Pegasus, “I told you that if you fucked it up, you could kiss your job goodbye.”
“Well…” said Rainbowshine slowly, “I might have delegated that job to Derpy. Who then proceeded to go north instead of south.”
Meanwhile, In the Frozen North:
Derpy Hooves looked around the icy tundra. “…Oh shit. I went the wrong way, didn’t I”
Back in Ponyville:
Rainbow glared at Rainbowshine. “Yeah, you’re fired.”
Ponies started coming up to the Mayor and complaining about their jobs not being done. Spike and Twilight watched as the Mayor started to yell at the ponies to get their jobs done.
“Spike,” said Twilight, hopping out of the bush. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“I am.” said Spike. “But how will we ever manage to find enough chocolate?”
“…Just…just get me my checklist, Spike.”
“Alright.” said Spike. He thought for a moment. “Your checklist is inside the library, right?”
“Yes…” said Twilight hesitantly.
“Good.” replied Spike. “That means I have a chance to get warm.” He shivered. “I swear, I’m gonna catch my death from cold out here…” He walked away, muttering to himself.
Twilight watched him go, then turned back to the group of bickering ponies. “Excuse me?” she asked. “If I could have your attention please!”
The group ignored her and kept arguing.
“Hello?” asked Twilight loudly. “I need you guys to listen!”
The group continued to ignore her.
“Can’t anyone hear me?” yelled Twilight.
Caramel looked from Twilight to the group. He cleared his throat and yelled, “QUIET!”
The crowd stopped talking and looked at Caramel. Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but Caramel glared at her pointedly until she shut it.
“Thanks.” said Twilight.
“No PRobleM!” said Caramel. “NoW tO Go PuT MoRE SEED IN NotEWorTHY!” The crazy stallion ran off, leaving Twilight with the group’s full attention.
“Look,” began Twilight, “I know you all want to complete your jobs on time, but arguing about it won’t solve anything. All you guys need is a little organization.”
“Orgasmiz-what?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Organization.” repeated Twilight.
“Or…Or…Organize?” said Applejack hesitantly.
“It sounds like witchcraft!” yelled Fluttershy.
“Calm down, everyone!” yelled the Mayor. She walked up to Twilight and said, “Show us more about this ‘organization’.”
Several Minutes Later:
Twilight and Spike watched as the ponies left to do their jobs. Rarity had, finally, worked up the nerve to build nests again and was now helped by several other ponies.
“Did they really expect one pony to build hundreds of nests?” asked Spike.
“Apparently.” replied Twilight. “Let’s go check on how the ice is doing.”
The two walked to one of the frozen lakes. Pinkie Pie was standing on the hill overlooking the lake, waiting for them.
“Twilight!” said Pinkie excitedly. She pulled out a black coat and put it on. She pulled the hood over her head so her face was shrouded in darkness. “I’m part of the Organization now! Got it memorized?”
“It’s not that kind of organization, Pinkie.” explained Twilight. “Organization means doing things in a rational, calm manner.”
“You lost me.” said Pinkie. “Can I still wear the coat, or what?”
“Go ahead.” sighed Twilight.
Pinkie smiled and ran down to the ice, where the other ponies were waiting for her to get started. They all began to skate, making sure to stay in a straight line.
Satisfied that Pinkie had this well in hand, Twilight and Spike walked to the fields where the Plant Team was working. Along the way, they spotted the singing ice man getting chased by a man who looked like he was on fire. The fire man was singing, “They call me Heat Miser. Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch!” He bowed to Twilight and Spike as he passed them and said, “I’m too much.”
Choosing not to comment on that, Twilight and Spike made their way to the fields. Applejack was overlooking the ponies that were clearing the snow. When she spotted Twilight, Applejack’s eyes widened and she asked nervously, “Yer not gonna try to help, are ya?”
Twilight shook her head. “I’m just supervising.”
Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God for that.”
“I wasn’t that bad!” yelled Twilight.
“Yes you were.” said Spike and Applejack in unison.
“Fine!” said Twilight. She turned and walked away. Spike ran after her and they both went to where Fluttershy was waking up animals.
Fluttershy was pulling a rope when they approached her. Several bells that had been tied together rang, waking up all the animals.
“How’s it going, Fluttershy?” asked Spike.
“Not so good.” said Fluttershy sadly. She sneezed, and said, “I still can’t find Angel or all of my other animals.”
“They’ll turn up.” said Twilight comfortingly. She and Spike left Fluttershy and started to walk back towards the Town Square. Above them, Rainbow Dash and the other Pegasus ponies were clearing the clouds, letting the sun shine down on Ponyville.
Soon enough, everything was finished and spring was in full effect. The snow had melted, the birds were back, and all the snowmen died screaming as they melted.
Everyone gathered to bask in the sunshine. The Mayor approached Twilight and said, “I can’t believe we did it! Spring is here, on time!” She pulled out her cell phone and pressed a button. “Hey Bill!” she said into the phone. “I’m just calling to let you know how nice it is that Ponyville is in spring! How’s that Trottingham winter working for you?” Loud sobbing was heard on the phone. The Mayor laughed triumphantly as she slammed the phone shut. “Twilight Sparkle, you have single-handedly saved our collective asses! If I wasn’t saving myself for Applejack, I’d throw you to the ground right now and make you call me Mistress.”
“Um…thanks?” said Twilight hesitantly. “Honestly, I’m just happy everything worked out in the end. Right, Spike?” She waited for her assistant to respond. “Spike?” she asked again. She looked around, but could not see any sign of the dragon. “Where is he?”
“There he is!” said Applejack. She pointed to the lake, where Spike was sleeping on the last remaining piece of ice in the middle of the lake. “Boy, that ice is melting fast.”
“He’ll be fine.” said Rainbow Dash confidently. “Dragons can swim, right?”
Later:
The casket was lowered into the newly made grave. Twilight sobbed as her deceased assistant was buried under six feet of dirt.
“Apparently not.” said Applejack sadly. She and the other girls were standing by Twilight, each of them somber.
“This sucks.” said Rainbow Dash. “I could have saved him when I saw that he was out there.”
Rarity sniffed. “It’s not your fault, dear. How were you to know that Spike would hit his head on a rock, get hit with lightning, catch Swine Flu, and drown all at once?”
“And don’t forget exploding.” said Fluttershy quietly. “He exploded once he hit the water. Twice.”
Pinkie, her mane flat, said, “If only we could go back in time to save him.”
Twilight gasped and shot up from were she was crying. “We can go back in time to save him! Or,” she said as she turned around to stare at Fluttershy, “At least one of us can.”
“What?” asked Fluttershy. “Why is it only me?”
“You are the only one who has traveled through time before!” explained Twilight. “Remember when Applejack kicked you into the future? If I’m right, if Applejack kicks you in the opposite direction that she did before, you should be able to go back in time to save Spike! You might even find your animals!”
Fluttershy took a deep breath, steeling her nerves. “Ok, I’ll do it.” She faced west as she prepared to get kicked.
Applejack walked over behind her and raised her back legs. She kicked out, sending Fluttershy flying.
The five ponies watched as Fluttershy disappeared from view.
“So,” began Rarity, “What happens to us?”
“There are a couple of things that could happen.” explained Twilight. “One is that we just continue on without Spike or Fluttershy, creating a divergent timeline from the one Fluttershy will now live.”
“What’s the other thing that could happen?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, that’s nothing to worry about.” said Twilight. “There is a theory that, since Fluttershy is changing the timeline, we will cease to exist.” Twilight laughed. “But really, what are the odds?”
Right as she said that, the universe vanished with a pop.
Meanwhile:
Fluttershy flew through the time stream, and was having a similar experience as the last time. Colors blurred, noises began loud and undecipherable, and a flying blue police box passed her and crashed into a flying DeLorean.
Soon enough, Fluttershy dropped from the time stream and landed on the ground in front of her house. She looked up and squinted as the summer sun hit her eyes.
“Ow!” said Fluttershy as she got up. She rubbed her eyes and then paused. She noticed something strange. “My cold’s gone! I guess since I’m back in the past, I never got sick in the first place. Or…wait…but if I got sent into the past with my cold, then I should still have the cold, right?”
Fluttershy was interrupted from her mental discussion on the healing properties of time travel by a familiar voice shouting, “Here she is!”
Fluttershy looked to see Twilight and Spike walking towards her. “Fluttershy!” said Twilight. “I haven’t seen you since that Parasprite thing a couple of weeks ago. Where’ve you been?”
Fluttershy quickly got up and picked up Spike. “Spike! You’re alive!” she shouted as she nuzzled him.
“You’re damn right I’m alive!” said Spike happily. He paused. “Why do you sound so surprised?”
Fluttershy put him down and patted his head. “Never mind that.” she said. She walked back to her house, leaving Twilight and Spike behind her. “I’m just glad to be home.”
As she approached the house, she noticed that all of her animals were gathered on the front yard. She looked and saw Angel Bunny standing on a stump, wearing a Parasprite skull. He had green Parasprite blood smeared over his chest and face like war paint.
“Angel?” she asked. “What are you doing?”
Angel’s eyes widened in surprise as he noticed Fluttershy. He pointed at his growling stomach and then back towards the forest.
“You couldn’t get in the house to find food, so you were going to lead all the animals into the forest to get some?” guessed Fluttershy.
Angel nodded.
Fluttershy walked over to the welcome mat and flipped it over, revealing a key. “Why didn’t you just use the spare key?” she asked. She paused and muttered, “Come to think of it, why didn’t I use the spare key?” She shook her head and unlocked the door, letting her animals back inside.
Angel paused as he got near Fluttershy. He took off the Parasprite skull and threw it behind him. He looked at Fluttershy and, with what seemed like great reluctance, quickly hugged her leg. He let go and shuddered before hopping back inside.
Fluttershy smiled. “It’s good to be back.”
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Author: "Alright, next up on the list is... Ah, here we go. Call Of The Cutie."
DT: "Did he just say what I think he just said?
SS: "Yes, Di. He just said our debut episode. He's gonna butcher us, and butcher us hard!!!"
DT: "Calm down, Silver. It can't make THAT much fun of us, can it?"
Author: "Now then, my little brats. Let's see how I can utterly destroy your reputations."
DT: "May Tartarus have mercy on the both of our souls."
(Insert Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon being dragged into a torture device whilst the writer makes the next chapter of MLP FML.)
(Insert the two of them screaming here.)
God those chapter titles are amusing.
Just for that you get an in-advance favorite. 
4735347 That's just silly. I don't need a device to torture characters.
Incoming CMC!
4735347
4735480
No, next up on the list is 'Winter Wrap-Up'.
4735663 you didn't even read the chapter to the end, didn't you?
Awesome as ever!
cking hicks" at least 4 times a day.
I bet Twilight think "f
WARNING: CMC INCOMING
4735673 What they meant was that Fluttershy went back before Winter Wrap Up started. So, technically, the next in line would be Winter Wrap Up.
inb4 Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are twisted and warped from their cannon selves into the nicest sweetest kindest foals that everyone still hates with a passion.
4736100
Exactly!
Well... that was interesting.
Please continue!
How.... How? is it possible to die like that, all at once?
4738111
Everything can die horribly. It just takes a bit more work.
Anyone else wondering why caramel aint in the hospital.
1. He is insane
2. He is possibly a rapist ( Poor noteworthy,....maybe)
Seriously all we need now is a homicide for the full house
4739377 Probably for the same reason Pinkie isn't, nopony knows the definition of insanity.
Oh my fucking JORDI!
I can't wait for more of this hilarious ass story!
I just love all their personalities so much more!
And now I wanna play Kingdom Hearts.
4741297 If ya wanna read some epid KH Mane6 fanfiction visit my story
4740345
What about the rape of Noteworthy?
4746822 Are you sure he wasn't just shoving Plant seeds into him?
4748781 4746822
It's more like he was force-feeding them to Noteworthy.
Probably.
Time-traveling. She should use that power more often.
Kick-ass chapter.
4748892
Wait he force feed noteworthy .....his ....seed.....
4750159 Just vegatable seeds...probably.
4750261
Well tell me when, spike or a foal is getting seed next, ll get Chris Hansen on the phone when its time.
4750316
Don't worry. He's on standby.
i44.photobucket.com/albums/f5/HangmenHeaven/Response%20Face/Hansen_blank_background.jpg
Probably, he would look more like this
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/9834_r.jpg
or this
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/5/32836/thumb.png
or this
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/29/60521/thumb.png
or my personal new favorite
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/669/743/68c.png
Let that last one feed your nightmares
Now that i've read all this, I wonder how far you will take this.
Another for the favorite pile
love this fic.
*Turntable Scratch**Apple Juice Sprayed*
Wait! Twi is sad that Spike is dead? Lies, this story must by AU cause the Twi I know would never cry for spike. Well she probs is sad that she lost her slave but she can get another from Slaves' R' Us.
No, instead she would:
Repeatedly kick him in the asserts
Cut off his asserts and disintegrate them
Break stuff over his head
Put a knot in his waterworks so his bladder would fill as he is forced bleach and then put a needle in his bladder making it burst
Stick dynamite far up his poop-shute and allow for explosion
Brainwash Parasprites into eating him alive
Hammer nails into the gaps between scales
Burn him alive
Blast a hole in him with magic
Break his bones with magic
Slowly crush him with a meteor or elephant
Allow him to be frozen to death
Mutilate his poop-shute with a cheese grater (even this creeped me... Ok it did't)
And time for psychological torture
Starve him
Tell him Celestia killed his parents
Tell him rarity never loved him
Say she never needed him and in fact found him a pain that should die
Racism
Force him to kill and eat a friend of his
And the misc tortures
Make him watch frozen forever
Force him to watch Twireity Smexy times forever
My little Dashie forever?
Make him relive the embarrassment during the Cloudsdale anthem incident... FOREVER!!!
And the jerkish bull
Call him fax machine
Say he is a pathetic dragon
Trip him over
Interrupt him
Destroy his possessions
Fatty Fatty No Parents!
If you can think of more just add it and if you are wondering how I could come up with some of those, I'm a demon, just leave it at that.
4907039 I also have aspergers
4907039 you realize I commeted the 7 weeks ago right
4910414 ps I have aspergers
More chapters please
More chapters please
5331191 Hang on for one more week. The semester's almost over.
4750159 reminds me of a certain machine from the Big MT:
I COMMAND YOU TO OPEN YOUR PORT AND RECIEVE MY SEED!!
You Magnificent Bastard. All My Yes.
*pant* *pant* *pant*
Oh, don't mind me, I just had a big fan-gasm.
4740345
insanity: doing the same exact thing twice and expecting different results.
5668038 vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/kingdomhearts/images/2/27/Cloak.png/revision/latest?cb=20110801173657
Just had to get an Axel quote in there, huh?
5668038 Xigbar: Pssht! As if...
Huh...this lacks your usual flair. Oh well, I'll just spruce that joke up real quick:
6777346
I approve.
You know, I'm surprised no one pointed out the Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide reference.