• Published 20th Aug 2012
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MLP: FML - Maniac92



An insane parody of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

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Sweetie's Sleepover Situation

Rarity was rummaging around in her room. “Where the hell did I put that?” she muttered to herself. She stuck her head under her bed. “Not under here…”

The door burst open and slammed against the wall. Shocked, Rarity jumped and banged her head against her bed. Sweetie Bell stormed into the room, looking around. “Rarity!” she called. “Where is the one called Opal? I wish to make a sacrifice to the demon lords!”

Rarity rubbed the bump on her head as she turned to regard her little sister. “I’m sorry Sweetie, but Opal’s with Fluttershy today. She can’t be a part of your little game of pretend.”

Sweetie looked offended. “Pretend?! Once I contact Lord Diablo, I will be able to burn Ponyville to the ground! All will tremble in fear at my-”

“That’s nice, Sweetie,” said Rarity distractedly. She continued looking around her room.

Sweetie huffed. “What are you looking for that’s so important, anyway?”

“I have a special order to fill!” said Rarity, her head in her closet. “I need to find a special fabric in order to make it.” She pulled her head out and looked at Sweetie Belle. “I’d go get more, but ever since that damn picture appeared in the paper, I can’t show my face in public.”

“You mean the picture where Rainbow Dash saved you?” asked Sweetie. She giggled. “You looked so freaked out. You were crying and there was even a little snot coming out of your nose.”

Rarity glared at Sweetie Belle. “Quite,” she said irritably. She sighed and started opening some drawers on her dresser. “Where is that fabric?”

Sweetie walked over to Rarity. She pointed at the bottom drawer and said, “Maybe it’s in there.” She reached for the drawer.

Rarity’s eyes widened and she quickly grabbed Sweetie’s arm. “Nope, it’s definitely not in there. Why don’t you look somewhere else?”

“Are you sure?” asked Sweetie. She reached out her other arm and pulled the drawer open. Before she could look inside, however, Rarity used her magic to slam the drawer shut.

A faint buzzing could be heard coming from the drawer.

“What is that?” asked Sweetie.

Rarity blushed. “Boy, those bees outside sure are loud!” she said loudly.

“But the buzzing’s coming from the drawer,” replied Sweetie.

“What’s that, Sweetie?” asked Rarity desperately. “You want to go look in the closet for my fabric?”

“I didn’t-” began Sweetie Belle, before Rarity pushed her towards the closet.

Rarity sighed and opened the drawer. She reached inside and the buzzing stopped. “I should really put a lock on this drawer,” she said, shutting it. She looked at her hoof and grimaced. “I should also think about getting some hoof sanitizer in here.”

The doorbell rang.

Rarity looked at Sweetie and said, “Could you get that? I’m going to go wash my hooves.”

“I hope it’s my Weapon of the Month!” said Sweetie excitedly. “Last month was a claymore!”

“The sword or the mine?” asked Rarity.

“Both!” said Sweetie.

Rarity chuckled. “You kids and your imaginations.” She walked into her bathroom.

Sweetie Belle ran for the front door and opened it.

“Hello Sweetie,” greeted Fluttershy kindly. She held up Opal, who meowed. “I’m here to-”

Sweetie Belle slammed the door shut. “That wasn’t my weapon…” she grumbled. She walked back into Rarity’s room.

“Who was at the door?” asked Rarity, stepping out of the bathroom.

“No one important,” huffed Sweetie, a pout on her face.

There was a crashing noise. Fluttershy stomped into the room and glared at Sweetie. “That. Wasn’t. NICE.”

“Oh, hello dear!” greeted Rarity. “Do you have my Opal with you?”

Fluttershy stopped glaring at Sweetie Belle and smiled gently at Rarity. She set Opal down and said, “Here she is! All cleaned and groomed!”

“And declawed?” asked Rarity hopefully.

Fluttershy grabbed Rarity’s neck and brought her close. “You. Don’t. DO THAT.” She dropped Rarity and said, “That’d be like cutting off your fingers.”

“What are fingers?” asked Rarity, looking at her hooves. She shook her head. “Still, I don’t know how you manage with Opal. Did…” Rarity looked around nervously before leaning in close to Fluttershy, “Did you use…The Stare?”

“No!” exclaimed Fluttershy. “I’d never use The Stare on something like that! I only use it when animals are out of control, or when SOMEBODY,” she screamed, glaring at Sweetie, “Shuts the door on me.”

Sweetie Belle ignored Fluttershy and smiled evilly at Opalescence. “At last! The sacrifice has been brought before me! Now, we can begin!”

Opal hissed and swiped at Sweetie.

The small filly blinked and looked at her arm. Opal’s claws left a tiny scratch on her. The small cut bled slightly.

Sweetie whimpered, her lower lip trembling. “Rarity!” she sobbed, tears in her eyes. “Opal scratched me again!” She hugged Rarity’s leg and buried her face into it.

Rarity sighed and patted Sweetie on the head. “I’ll get you a bandage. Do you want a Xenomorph one or the one with that ugly bear?”

“The Freddy Fazbear one, please…” sniffed Sweetie.

Rarity used her magic to put the bandage on Sweetie’s scratch. She looked over at Fluttershy and said, “I’d have you stay and chat, but I really have to get back to work.”

“Do people want more T-Shirts with that photo on them?” asked Fluttershy.

Rarity’s eye twitched. “No. I have an actual order for robes.”

“Can I have one?” asked Sweetie.

“Sweetie, you already have a robe, remember?” said Rarity. “When you pretended to be a Sith Lord?”

“I know, but I burned a hole through it,” replied Sweetie. “Those lightsabers are hard to control.”

“Maybe after this order, ok?” offered Rarity. She sighed. “I’ve got to focus on this first. I’m supposed to make twenty robes and ship them off to Trottingham by tomorrow morning.” Rarity looked around. “Now if only I could find that gold silk I was going to use…”

“How are you going to manage to make twenty robes by tonight?” asked Fluttershy. “Do you want me to get the rest of the girls and help you again?”

Rarity stared off into the distance. Memories of ugly dresses and public ridicule came to her mind. She shuddered violently.

“Bad idea,” said Fluttershy quickly. “Sorry I mentioned it.”

Rarity shook her head and smiled at Fluttershy. “I can manage. It shouldn’t be too hard to do when I find my gold silk. That was the real challenge. It took me hours to make.”

“Well,” said Fluttershy, headed for the door, “I’ll get out of your hair then. I don’t want to distract you.”

Before Fluttershy could reach the front door, it opened and two blurs came racing into the store. It stopped in front of Sweetie Belle, revealing Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

“Hi Sweetie!” said Apple Bloom.

“Hey,” greeted Scootaloo, adjusting her sunglasses.

“Ah!” said Sweetie. “My minions! Are you here to plot the downfall of Celestia’s regime?”

“Um…close?” said Apple Bloom. “We’re having a sleep over to plan how to get our Cutie Marks, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” said Sweetie. “Sorry, I kind of fade out for anything other than world domination.”

“That’s fair,” said Scootaloo, “I do the same thing, but for anything other than Rainbow Dash.”

“We might go all night!” said Apple Bloom. “Are you ready, Scootaloo?”

“I’m ready to plan,” said Scootaloo. “Are you ready to plan, Sweetie?”

“I’m ready to pa-lan,” said Sweetie. “Are you ready to pa-lan, Apple Bloom?”

“Ah’m ready to plan!” said Apple Bloom. “Are you ready to-”

Pinkie burst into the room. “WE GET IT, IT’S A SPONGEBOB REFERENCE! MOVE ON ALREADY!” Huffing, she turned and stormed out of the boutique.

The others stared after her.

“So does that make her Pearl?” asked Fluttershy.

They heard Pinkie scream from outside.

Apple Bloom smiled at Rarity and said, “It was nice of ya to let us sleep over tonight, Miss Rarity.”

“I did what now?” asked Rarity, confused.

“Yes,” said Sweetie, “You agreed to let us have a sleep over, remember?”

Yesterday:

Rarity was leaning over the desk in her room, looking over designs. “Gold fabric!” she muttered. “That’d be perfect.”

Sweetie Belle stuck her head in the room. “Hey Rarity?” she asked. “Can my friends spend the night tomorrow?”

“Uh huh…” muttered Rarity, distracted.

“Thanks!” said Sweetie.

Now:

“Remember?” asked Sweetie.

“Remember what?” asked Rarity. “You just said ‘remember’ and started staring into the distance.”

“Oh…” said Sweetie. “I guess you can’t see my flashbacks, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Oh well…” said Sweetie.

“Please, Miss Rarity?” asked Apple Bloom. “We’ve been plannin’ this for a while!” She pulled out a cape and said, “We’ve even made capes to show that we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

“Does…does that mean you’re going to sack Jerusalem?” asked Rarity.

“I wish!” said Sweetie.

“It’s something we formed so we can all get our Cutie Marks together,” explained Scootaloo. She straightened her leather jacket and adjusted her sunglasses. “We’re on a mission from God.”

“You’re too young to know what that’s from,” said Rarity. “Anyway, how did you make your capes?”

“I lined them with a special gold silk!” said Sweetie.

Rarity froze. “…Gold silk?”

“Yeah,” said Scootaloo. “Isn’t it great? Sweetie just found some lying around one day.”

“Really?” asked Rarity, her eye twitching. She glared at Sweetie. “And you wouldn’t have happened to find it in my room, would you?”

“Yeah!” said Sweetie. “How’d you guess?”

Rarity took a deep breath and said, “Sweetie. Do you have any idea in that little brain of yours what you’ve done?”

“I know,” said Sweetie. “I wanted blood red or black, but the girls thought gold really-”

Rarity placed her hoof over Sweetie’s mouth. “Shh…” she shushed. “That was my gold silk. Gold silk that took several hours to make. Gold silk that I will now have to make again, which means I’ll have to go outside, where a bunch of simpletons will wave that ugly photo around, in order to get supplies to make more gold silk.” Rarity took a breath. “Sweetie, I am going to have to work all night now. Which means no sleepover.”

“What?!” gasped Apple Bloom.

“You can’t!” said Scootaloo.

“But you said I could!” argued Sweetie.

“That was before YOU USED MY SILK!” screamed Rarity.

“But-” began Apple Bloom.

“The only ‘but’ I want to see is yours heading back home,” said Rarity. “Now.”

“Applejack was right about you!” yelled Apple Bloom.

“What did that bitch say about me?!” yelled Rarity.

“I’m glad I sold that photo to the newspaper!” yelled Scootaloo.

“THAT WAS YOU?!” yelled Rarity.

“Um…Rarity?” said Fluttershy, a bit disturbed by the foam appearing around Rarity’s mouth. “I can take the girls for the night."

“I don’t want to spend the night with you!” yelled Scootaloo. “You ruined Dissection Day at school! We had to take a test because of you!”

“Oh,” said Rarity, an evil grin appearing on her face. “You don’t want to go? Well, that’s fine.”

“Really?” asked Scootaloo.

“NO!” yelled Rarity. She picked up Scootaloo and threw her at Fluttershy, who caught her. “Take them! They can have a sleepover at your house!”

“NOOOO!” yelled Scootaloo.

“I’ll take it,” said Sweetie, happy that she was having a sleep over at all.

“Yay! Sleep over at Fluttershy’s!” cheered Apple Bloom.

Fluttershy led the girls out of the room, carrying the screaming Scootaloo.

Rarity watched them go and sighed. She used her magic to grab a brown paper bag. She put the bag over her face and said, “Well, time to go get more supplies. I just hope Fluttershy can handle those three…” She thought about it and laughed. “Oh, of course she can. What’s the worst that could happen?”

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