2. A Light in the Dark
“A singer came to me, saying,
'You protect me, and I do nothing in return.'
I told her to sing, and she understood.”
—Mark of the Beacon
Ponyville had changed in the last few years. Not enough to feel totally different—still thatched roofs and farmland as far as the eye could see—but enough that many of the faces roaming the streets were mostly unfamiliar. There were a lot more of them, too.
It had definitely helped me slip past Diamond and Silver unnoticed as I left school that afternoon.
"Hide in plain sight."
I had simply become just one more filly in an ever-growing crowd of people. Fewer by the day would notice me, much less so now that the Crusaders had scaled down on their antics and committed to a more structured form of adventuring, one that required much less familiarity with the town's emergency first response unit.
Not that I’d need their help anymore.
I hadn’t gone after my friends either. I couldn’t even bear to face the Crusaders again. After all these years struggling with my very best friends, I had finally gotten my cutie mark… for this.
I was mortified. Diamond knew. Silver knew. Miss Cheerilee knew. The entire freakin’ class knew. I had spent the entire day with my face buried into my desk. Meanwhile those jerks decided it’d be a great idea to decorate my mane with a rather damp fashion statement, applied at range, to accompany my new cutie mark. I smoldered the entire way home, shaking my head to free all the spitballs that had lodged themselves between the curly fibers on my head.
My saddlebags slipped a bit in the process. Horseapples.
I repositioned them so that the marks were properly covered as before, then I glanced around—nopony had noticed.
Well, at least it was over. I rounded the last bend towards the path home.
And came face to face with the last two ponies I wanted to see.
What the—? I thought I managed to slip past these jerks.
I tried to brush past them, but they moved in front of me.
“How’s our little gaymare?” Diamond sneered.
I cringed. That was not something I wanted to hear. “Go away, Diamond.”
“She doesn’t seem overly fond of your new title for her,” remarked Silver.
I snarled and tried to push myself around her. Somehow, I succeeded. Or she let me.
“Aww, does the little gaymare wanna run back to her stable?” mocked Diamond in a shrill tone. “You can’t run away from the ugly truth!”
They laughed as I galloped to the door, hoping by the grace of the Stars that they wouldn’t follow.
They didn't. Seems like fate was smiling upon me today.
Hah. As if.
I snuck into Carousel Boutique as quietly as I could. The bell nearly chimed as I opened the door, but I stopped the impending ring with a minute tendril of magic.
My elder sister was at the kitchen table, sipping her tea and reading the papers. Thankfully, she had her back turned. I shut the door behind me as quietly as I could, hoping to avoid her notice.
It was then that a damnable little ball of furry fury let out a loud screech and pounced on me from a nearby chair.
“GAH!” I fell to the floor, my saddlebags sprawled around me.
“Wha—! Sweetie Belle, is that you?” called a silky voice from the other room.
Great... just what I needed. “Yes, Rarity, it’s me.”
I heard a chair slide back. Quickly, I threw Opalescence off of my chest—she hissed and ran off, and I was almost tempted to bare my own teeth at her in response. I tried to stuff my saddlebags again and place them back over my haunches before Rarity could turn the corner.
“Dearie, are you alright? That was quite a scare, and—“ she stopped in the archway, staring at me, just as I managed to slip them back on. “Hang on… S-Sweetie Belle, did I just see—“
“Umm, n-no, sis,” I stammered. “You didn’t see nothing. Er, I mean, anything.”
The widest grin formed on Rarity’s mouth.
Well aren't you just the most persuasive little bundle of subtlety today.
Shut up, brain.
I dully began pondering if an argument against my own subconscious was a sign of insanity, before my thoughts were interrupted by the most inequine squeal of delight.
“Stars above, did you get your cutie mark?!” exclaimed my sister. She rushed forward instantly.
“Horseapples,” I swore under my breath.
“This is magnificent!" She rapidly approached. "This is stupendous!" She shouted gleefully. "This is THE...!" A turquoise aura of magic appeared. "BEST...!" My saddlebags were whisked into the air. "POSSIBLE—!” She swiveled her head.
And suddenly, all was silent as she gazed upon my fate, her effervescent smile glowing in the soft aura of her magic, her pupils shrinking to minute pinpricks.
"—thing?"
For a few seconds more, she processed the emblazoned symbol on my haunches, her face a perfect little mixture of excitement, shock, and horror all encapsulated into a single moment of dawning realization. I was almost impressed by how many emotions you could unceremoniously cram into one dumb expression. Hell, I probably would have taken a picture or something if I could.
Was it bad that my mind instinctively told me to reach for the Screenshot button?
Somehow that thought wasn’t particularly sobering.
“D-darling! I’m so glad for you!” she recovered quickly, sweeping me into a gigantic hug and pushing me over her shoulders such that I was spared another moment of her conflicted visage. “Who would have ever thought.”
“Yeah… who would have ever.”
“When did you— er, earn this?” she asked, putting me down and smiling at me.
I could see that twitch in her eyebrows.
“Last night," I explained, plucking my saddlebags from the air and setting them down. "I was up playing last night, and I beat the hardest raid in the game with my friends.”
“That’s… that’s fantastic, dear!”
“We were the first people to do it in the entire world.”
“Oh!” her eyes glittered, and I actually detected a hint of genuine… something? Or maybe not. “Well, then that’s truly remarkable. Quite the achievement, indeed.” She nodded, and nodded again, as if to assure herself of the truth.
“Yep. Aren’t I just the most amazing little filly,” I said sarcastically, unpacking my schoolwork from the bag. “I’m sure I’ll be just as famous as you someday.”
Ouch. Way to stay true to your name, kid.
“Ahahahaha,” she laughed, with just a tinge of uncertainty, and a look in her eyes that probably said is this filly for real or am I seriously raising a sack of potatoes. “Well you’re certainly the sweetest little flatterer. Is it the same Marendo Game Stable game that we bought for you a few weeks ago?”
“It’s not a Marendo or a GameStable, sis, it’s a Hoofbox,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And that’s not the game, it’s just the machine that plays the game.”
I swear, explaining this again to Rarity was like talking to a thirteen year old.
Heh. See? I could be funny and self-deprecating at the same time.
...Actually, that wasn’t very funny.
“Well! I’m, er, certainly glad that all it took was a couple thousand bits, if it meant you wouldn't have to continue searching for your cutie mark for all eternity.”
I was about to retort with an “I’m not,” but then I stopped and realized the unintentional pun she had made.
And I did the last thing I expected myself to do.
I burst out laughing.
She stared at me, just a little bewildered. “Er, beg pardon, was it something I said?”
It took me a moment to recompose myself. “Hahahaha! Aha,” I controlled my laughter and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Oh mare, I really needed that.”
“Um… I’m sorry?”
I turned to Rarity. She had the silliest, most confused smile on her picturesque face. And it spoke volumes. Even if she wasn’t sure how to feel about my new discovery, even if I myself wasn’t quite sure how to feel… she still wanted to be happy for me. She still wanted me to be happy. And she was trying very hard to make sure I was.
She didn’t deserve my attitude.
I breathed in. And I breathed out.
“Rarity…” I reached up and gave her a hug. “I love you. Thank you.”
There was only a short pause before I felt her leg curl around my neck. “I love you too, Sweetie Belle. Congratulations.”
Dinner was a lovely affair that evening. Rarity had actually seen fit to get dressed—it was a simple thing, just a modest white number with a few frills, nothing extravagant. The table had been set impeccably, with a single candle flickering merrily in the center, and she had prepared one of my favorite dishes, a Gryphosi penne pasta with veggies in white wine sauce.
“I also managed to acquire one of theeese,” she singsonged, levitating a bottle of imported vanilla cream soda over the table to me as I approached.
"Did I ever mention that I love you?" I replied dreamily, cuddling the bottle like it was a newborn foal.
“Only because I bribe you with cream soda and video games, I’m sure,” she teased playfully.
I giggled, climbing into my seat. “You know me too well.”
And dinner began in earnest.
"Did you finish your homework this evening?” she asked across the table.
“Most of it,” I replied, after swallowing a bite. “I’m still kinda chipping away. I’ll probably just need one more hour or so to get the rest of my required reading for the night out of the way.”
“I hope you’ve been remembering to take constant breaks.”
"I have." But not for what you think. I hadn't even turned on my game console all day today. For some reason, I couldn't find the heart to.
Considering the mark on my haunches, the irony was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
“Don't worry sis. I've been making sure," answering her with a smile that masked my thoughts. "That’s what the egg timer is for, after all.”
“Ah! Have you been putting my suggestion to good use?”
“Yeah, it’s actually worked out really well. An hour, fifteen, an hour, fifteen, just like you said.”
“Good filly,” she nodded in appreciation. “Very good filly. Just let me know if you can’t finish it all tonight—I’ll see what I can do to walk you through it.”
“Thanks, but you should focus on your work. I probably won’t need it anymore now that the raiding season in Eternity is over.”
“If I may be frank for a moment… I must say, you have no idea how refreshing that is to hear,” she said with no small amount of flustered relief.
“Yeah, sorry about that, and…” I paused, a little embarrassed, hesitating with an artichoke heart at the end of a fork before me. “Thanks for being patient with me.”
She had a slightly strained face, but it was quickly overcome with a bright smile. “Anything for my sweetest Belle.”
I felt warm inside. And that totally wasn't because of these glorious sun-dried tomatoes or anything. I licked my lips and savored the tangy flavor. “How has work been?”
“Oh, it’s been rather…” she shifted her eyes. “Time-consuming, to say the least. But I am, surprisingly, getting a decent number of high-profile contracts. A Hoofington theater troupe recently commissioned an assortment of costumes, and despite the extra workload it’s been particularly lucrative.”
“That’s good to hear,” I nodded. “Don’t overwork yourself, okay?”
“Why, whatever could you mean?” she smiled, fluttering her eyelashes. “Fret not, dearest Sweetie, your big sister can handle herself.”
I chuckled, but knew better.
“Though I may need some assistance once the details of the Cirque du Poné contract come in…” she chanted innocently.
“You’re kidding?” I almost stood up in my chair. “You got it?”
“In-deeeeed~” she sang with glee. “I’ll be off to Manehattan by the end of this week to go over the preliminary details, and by the end of the month, I’ll be designing for some of the most extraordinary acrobats this side of the Heartland. Aren’t you proud?”
“More than proud!” I grinned. She had been fighting tooth and nail for a chance at this opportunity. “That’s awesome, sis. There’s no way the nobles in Canterlot can ignore you after this.”
“Absolutely impossible. The Sun must be smiling upon us such that our dreams can come true on the same day,” she sighed daintily.
I couldn't help the pause that crept into my voice. “…Y-yeah. Definitely.” Maye she didn't notice.
“Is… is something the matter, Sweetie?”
Of course she noticed. She was Rarity, for Sun’s sake. Couldn't hide a damn thing from her.
“…Yeah. Yeah, something’s the matter.”
“I daresay, this doesn’t have anything to do with your cutie mark, does it?”
I slouched in my chair. “Gee, I wonder what gave it away,” I replied with good-natured sarcasm.
“Oh dearest Sweetie Belle,” she said in sympathy. “I…”
There was a pause. Both of us knew there was little new to say on the general matter of my hobby. I had already poured out my heart to her about the topic. But this? This was different. New. Unexpected. A development that she could never have foreseen.
“I guess… I just never thought that it would be more than a hobby,” I said, breaking the silence. “I always thought it was just something I could… you know, do in my spare time. For fun. And not make a big deal out of it. But then my cutie mark went and made it into one anyways.”
“But Sweetie, dear, you’re so talented with it, and you love it so. I’ve seen the way you talk about these 'games', the way you admire their craftsmareship, and the dedication you put forth into honing your mastery over them. It’s clear you see something far greater in them than the rest of us will ever know. It’s become more important than that.”
“Yeah, but… did it have to be? And why does the entire world have to know?” I sighed, feeling it all begin to spill out. “I mean, what am I even supposed to do with a cutie mark like this? Sure, I’m really good at games—probably better than all my other friends—but it’s not like I can get a job playing video games or anything. It’s not like it’ll help me get into Celestia’s School in Canterlot. It just seems so…" I struggled to say the words. "…so pointless."
I hesitated, before I opened my mouth again. To finally say what had been on my mind after all this time. To put the final nail in my own coffin.
"What kind of a destiny is this?”
A heavy silence hung over us. I watched the candle flickering softly on the table. It danced merrily in the moonlight, and I couldn't help but be jealous—it knew what it was, it knew its purpose, and it happily set itself to accomplishing that purpose until flickering out of existence, merely awaiting the next moment we would need to summon its beauty and warmth.
If only my purpose were so clear.
Rarity coughed. I turned back to her.
“Well, what of that one filly in your class? Er, Lucky Strike?”
“He’s a colt, sis.”
“Yes, well, he found his destiny in bowling! How is that so different from what you have?”
“Because now he’s competing professionally all over the Heartland in a top-tier bowling league.”
She looked stunned at the news. “Truly? At his age?”
I gave her a flat look. “We’re about to graduate, you know.”
“Oh, oh… right, of course.” She coughed, somewhat embarrassed. “My apologies. Sometimes it seems like all of you are simply just growing up so fast.”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “Growing up alright.”
"Honestly, Sweetie Belle!” she stood up and walked over to my side of the table. “Don’t deprecate yourself so! You have grown to become a fine young lady.”
“What kinda ‘lady’ gets her cutie mark in video games?” I retorted. The sting of Diamond's and Silver's insults this morning surged back to the forefront of my psyche.
She blanched at that. “Well, I… er…”
“Exactly. We’ve been over this before. There’s a reason why I made you Pinkie Promise not to tell anyone. There’s a reason why I wanted for us to wear coats when we went to get my—“
“Sweetie Belle, I know, dear,” she said, putting her hoof on my shoulder and gently pushing me back into my seat. “Believe me, I know. I don’t doubt I’m the only one qualified enough to know.”
I sighed. Of course she was. Lady Rarity, master of social etiquette and classy demeanor. The one person in this town who knew what outward appearances could do for—and to—a pony. If there was anyone out there in the world who could understand why this bothered me so much, it was her.
So why was she talking like this? Treating it like it was nothing?
As I lowered back down to a sitting position, she joined me somewhat on the chair and pulled me into a hug.
“Sweetie Belle, we all have our secrets. We all have something we do within the confines of privacy that society would likely frown on if they knew. But that doesn’t make us any less than what we are. I have my own fair share of secrets too, you know.”
I looked at her. “You do? Like what?”
“Er… perhaps when you graduate.” She coughed. “Anyways. My point is, there is no shame in these things. Neither you nor I can change what you love, anymore than I can…” she pondered for a moment, putting a hoof to her lips, her eyes wandering in thought before settling on something on the table. “Ah! Anymore than I can tell you to stop loving cream soda.”
…That was… random?
“Think about it. You take a sip of that soda. Your taste buds sing in merriment. Can you suddenly wake up one morning and tell your taste buds that what they had experienced was wrong?”
…Huh. “No, I… I guess I can’t.”
“Similarly, what if I trotted over to Sweet Apple Acres, and told Applejack straight to her face, ‘Apples are revolting and proletarian. You should cease your enjoyment of apples this instant.’ How likely would I be to change her opinion?”
“Hah. You'd have better luck usurping the Diarchy.”
“Precisely. Now, you understand what I mean?"
I gazed off into the distance. "…Yeah. Yeah, I get it." It really was pretty simple, when I looked at it that way.
"Sweetie Belle, listen to me." She put a hoof on my face and turned me to look at her eyes. "Despite everything that’s happened, and despite what your heart has chosen to love, you are still a fine young lady. I believe it to be true, and so should you. No matter what anypony has to say about it.”
I looked up at her, and couldn't help but be enraptured by the sincerity of the soft, graceful smile on her face.
Out of everyone I knew, I had talked to her the most about this. I lived with her every day, after all. She instructed me on lessons of etiquette and demeanor, helped me through my studies, and had taught me just enough to help with her own work… enough to do so without accidentally setting the room on fire, at least.
And, in return for my performance in school, she gave me a weekly stipend, along with occasional payment for services rendered, and even sometimes embellished by her own unconditional contributions. All of which I was allowed to spend on anything I want, no questions asked.
And oh, had she been curious. Sometimes I felt bad for subjecting her to hours of my ranting and raving about how amazing this or that game was or how hard I had worked to achieve something or other. But somehow, I felt like my words resonated with her. She would sit at the table, waxing philosophical about the magnificent things that these virtual worlds could let me experience, or helping me understand concepts that the games had been inadvertently teaching me about the real world.
It was like she understood, and even celebrated, what it was that made me love video games so, even if she never would be able to enjoy them herself.
How could I expect anything less from Rarity?
"Hey sis?"
"Yes, dear?"
“Did I mention that I love you?”
"Mm,” she cooed, pulling me back into her embrace. "A wonderfully familiar refrain.”
“It wasn’t me, I swear!”
“You know this can’t go on forever, Filthy.”
“You don’t know what your cutie mark means?”
“We’re the Crusaders. We’re in it together, aren’t we?”
“I play video games to have fun, not to wage war.”
“Careful! You coulda rung a Belle with that!”
"Nothing good can come of this."
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A'ight chumps. Check it out. There's a new cover, because we all know it totally needed some wide-spaced caps. You can never go wrong with wide-spaced caps. In fact, I'm gonna trademark that. Wide-Spaced Caps™. Baller.
Fun fact: I have a macro on my keyboard that literally does nothing but add two spaces between each character in a line of text. So I can take a lamebrain title like
BOMB ASS NAILS
and turn it into
B O M B A S S N A I L S
Aww yeah. So fly.
I got one for 3 spaces too.
B O M B A S S N A I L S
Look at how spiffy that looks. You on a Mac? You using Helvetica? Damn spiffy. (I'm on Windows. I'm stuck with Arial. Damn shame.)
Speaking of typefaces and titling and all that jazz, I gots a question for all y'all cool cats. What font are you reading This Game of Ours in? I use Palatino. Shit looks fly.
i.imgur.com/api0g1h.png
Seriously. Look at that Wide-Spaced Caps™. Fly as fuck.
Cambria's also pretty dope. I was using it for a while until I realized that Palatino was far more delicious and nutritious and came with a free carton of raisins. (I mean, yeah, Constantia was handing out blowjobs, but I got my dignity to worry about. Sorry Constantia.)
You know what sucks though? For some reason, when I use this site on my phone, I don't even get Cambria as an option. Palatino's there, but if I pick it, it doesn't do jack. I'm stuck with Georgia. And I mean, Georgia's a'ight. But... it's Georgia.
I dunno man.
It's disgraceful.
I mean, seriously, think about it. Typography's evolved so much within the last two centuries. So many brilliant, skilled typeface engineers and designers have poured life and limb into creating these fonts, ensuring through the most minute and painstaking of processes that each glyph is a singular object of perfection, molding each curve and every serif into flawless readability. Months of work building on years of tradition. We live in an age where there are millions of fonts available to us, each offering their own distinct and unique flavor to our reading experience.
And yet Fimfic doesn't even wanna let me use Palatino on my phone.
It's a crime against nature.
I can't believe my future children have to deal with this.
What the fuck, you guys. How did we let this happen? How can we rest easy, knowing that the next generation's gonna have to deal with all the shit we left behind? I dunno about you, but whenever I try to imagine what life will be like in 20 years, all I can see is a miniature me stumbling around with her little holographic stratoscreen, trying to select Palatino, and it's just not letting her.
It makes me weep for the future.
*sigh* I'm gonna hit the hay. Can't deal with this shit right now. Peace and chicken grease.
Wow, this story reminds me of the completionist, and he just went and spent 8 hours straight every day for two weeks to fully 100% Hyrule Warriors. The sad part is that at the end he said no should ever try that, but now i want to try with the money i'm getting, but i'm torn between that, smash bros, or fallout new vegas ultimate edition. Anyways, keep up the good work nd i cant wait for the latest in the chronicle of gamer Bell!
5088700
Hmm....
Your bullshit is thought out, detailed, and could probably fit as an explanation in canon MLP.
Ass-pull accepted!
You, my friend, are quite the literary artist.
TENOUTTA'TEN
Only thing weird I find popping up is how once in a while Sweetie uses People instead of ponies.
Also, I think Sweetie Belle should go into MLG gaming, or maybe start a tournament.
I mean, they have MLG bowling, why not MLG gaming?
I bet Rarity could grab a flyer or something from one of her visits in Canterlot.
Destiny on Xbox?
Alrighty then. It's on.
I will find you... And I will destroy you. Prepare yourself.
5089607 If you read his extra info stuff, it seems to me like gaming is relatively new. MLG has really only started up in the last couple years for a lot of things, but that could possibly be attributed to software limitations. All of that is to say, I don't think there is MLG yet in Equestria, or, at least, not to the size that you could make money off of.
Also, how can a pony be good at bowling. They don't have any fingers.
i.imgur.com/OELJsKi.jpg
Who let Roarke in?
5089709 it is a currently held theory/belief that every pony generates a localized gravity field on the base of their hoof, just enough to hold onto something. Whereas Pinkie is more adept at controlling her field that she can walk on walls and shit.
5089709
One word, ~MAGIC~.
And as for the first bit, that's why I thought that maybe she could try starting up MLG herself, like, it could be her big job in the future.
She could start miniature tournaments or LAN parties in Ponyville or something.
i am liking this story
5089709
Same way a pony can be good at baking/cooking when they're Earth ponies. I'ma lookin' at you Pinakamena and Bon Bon.
Seriously, can you imagine cutting the shapes, mixing and measuring the ingredients, kneading the dough, dealing with freshly baked stuff with your bare mouth? There's something screwy going on; either their hooves are a lot more dextrous than we are led to believe or the entire kitchen scene is modified in such a way that the utensils might not look the same anymore.
5089709 Oh, MLG... How I remember you from when I was a kid. Where has gaming gone since then? More people stayed to watch a live stream of a Smash Bros. Tournament than the Super Bowl, StarCraft is a huge sport in South Korea. B-DOS Competitions from the early days of the computer. Sweet Celestia, has competitive gaming gone far.
It brings a small tear to my eye. One of joy.
Also,
5089756 [Warning, A bit of possible bad judgement on my call. I felt compelled to say this. Sorry for the rude manner I may end up speaking in.]
Do you have a rebuttal for their statement against the "Female Gamer Harassment" Point? Changing the topic or FOCUS of your argument does not mean you cannot just forget you said anything. If you are going into a debate, please remember to acknowledge the person and tell them if you have nothing to add OR even if you might have changed your mind. Heck, you could just ask to drop this debate when you get tired of it, but remember to allow for a closing thought kind of wing ding. OH! and, I apologize for butting in, my judgement is not the most clear right now. I may have done something irrevocably rude. And with that, I hope you and the the other dude you were talking to have a good day.
PS. Foregoing the all the topics or the one you are most likely going to win and, pointing out the flaws immediately while ignoring and leaving the rest of the debate in a perpetual "frozen" State can be seen as rude.
5089795 5089782 5089776 I suppose 'Magic' mother
will have to do for me.
I like very much
please continue what you're doing. Also, I like how you are portraying sweetie in this fic: pseudo-sophisticated and awesome gamer at the same time. We need a few more charicters in this world with such complexity
5089756 You know, I'm not sure I'm real keen on having a physical mark directly reflecting my most inner, heartfelt desire. I mean, my interest in something bears only passing relation to its real-world applications. It would be extraordinarily embarrassing if I got a cutie mark of, say, a pokeball or a sword against a book (though could probably abstract that one better even if just as much trademark infringement), even if Pokemon and tabletop gaming happen to be what I am most inspired by and feel the most alive, myself, and real when working with, speaking of, doing worldbuilding for, analyzing, or designing small software utilities related to.
I don't even know if I want my most inner and heartfelt desires, much less want a mark for them. My rational desires are generally much more noble.
5089756 many youtubers' careers disagree, although I suppose it is easy to dismiss that on the basis of entertainment value of the youtuber themselves. You know, because people watch LPers for the personality not necessarily the game.
Just thought I'd drop in my two cents and say that I can not wait to see how this turns out!
I'm a high level competitive player for Team Fortress 2, Quake Live, and Various Rhythm Games (osu! and stepmania in particular) so the premise of this story definitely caught my eye.
Keeping this on watch, and favourited!
5088700 >>develops arcanepunk
>>wastes on games
>>PROFIT!!!
My mind is way to dirty for my own good...
For the first story you've written in a decade, I must say I'm impressed. This is better written then 90% of the work on here, and a fantastic concept to boot. keep up the good work.
5090131 I was really enjoying my comment section up until an hour ago. I mean, I kinda expected it was gonna turn into this, but eh.
Let's talk about more pleasant things. Like what font you guys use to read This Game of Ours! Fonts and typefaces and typography are so much more fun to talk about! Hell I even wrote a whole post about why fonts are awesome. You should all go read it.
Typography is awesome. Hell yeah.
In fact, let's make it out in Wide-Spaced Caps™, because that always gets the message across.
T Y P O G R A P H Y
I S A W E S O M E
Hell yeah.
Note: I will soon be deleting posts from this comments thread within the next few minutes. Please keep it clean. Danke schoen.
Really solid story, this. However, you really need to change this section:
such that it's in the first person. Kinda a confusing thing to be reading along and suddenly be confronted with a new narrator fellow.
Winter has been quite cold this year, or at least that's how I've felt it. I had to don some thick clothes just to go outside. That, coupled with some periods of illness, have made this a very unbearable winter that just doesn't want to go away.
The good news is that the heat from the comment section is keeping me warm.
5090140
Ouch. I didn't catch that. I have failed Swan Song. I beg forgiveness.
5090186 If it's any consolation, the story seems quite well edited/polished outside of that.
5089301 Are you something of a typeface connoisseur?
(warning: language and a singer that more screams than sings)
5090295 Nice #100 comment get!
5090292
Can't be Gears. They're only on one planet :P
Very good start. Exceptional for a first fic. The only thing throwing me off right now is the dialogue. It often feels to me just a little too formal, too stiff, or otherwise just a little off.
Oh, and the typography is badass.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Waitaminute...
I didn't know humans were in this setting :P
5090493 5090140 I have no idea what yer talkin' about.
5090498
Well that was quick.
Y'know what would be great? Some art of Sweeties Cutie Mark!
Edit: Also, I wonder who the raging mare chauvinist was who made the "breeder" comment about Snips and Snails? I dearly hope it wasn't an adult...
5090292 On the topic of console names, it might make sense to go with some variety of monolithic, state run, entertainment entity. Thus, the console name would be highly formal, likely created by Twilight or something at the console's genesis. As a first run, I'm thinking something like "Stratonet Entertainment Module", or the "Zecora-Sparkle Fun-Times Generator" or even the "Thaumatic Bidirectional Informational Relay for the Advancement of Pony Recreation". Could also be worth making it an amusing acronym of some kind. Perhaps the "Glowing Artifice that Manufactures Enjoyment".
5090498
Craftponyship? Craftequuship? Crafthippoship?
Or just stick with artistry.
5090643 Hey, better than me. I just skipped all my homework and STILL didn't get enough sleep. I'm still trying to figure out how I managed to graduate high school.
5090654 Craftsmareship. In my universe, "mare" is to ponies as "man" is to humans. The fact that "mare" so happens to coincide with the female singular is just icing, because this universe actually has a bit of a matriarchal bent.
Can you tell Sweetie Belle to stop loving cream soda? Can you tell Applejack 'You should cease your enjoyment of apples this instant.'?
No. Such is Mango.
Huh... I thought it was 'cause games are made of thousands of computer bits. So some thousand bits helped Sweetie find her Destiny!
...My pun's not much better though.
I really like this story so far. The way you write Sweetie makes her feel very real... or maybe just that her thoughts and troubles strike a chord with me. Rarity is also fantastic, and you portray her very well as someone who doesn't understand why Sweetie loves games, but can tell that she loves them and admires that enthusiasm. Looking forward to see where this is going.
That awesome moment when you realize this story will be in the feature box every single time it's updated.
5090682 To be honest, how often do we see MLP fanfics with a patriarchal bent?
Another great chapter btw Swannie!
Much human, very pony.
Seriously though, unless all ponies know about the mirror in Equestria Girls, they shouldn't know what humans are. There are a few more repetitions of this concept in the story as well
5089560 5089942 5089986 5090102 509151 Awww. You guys make me feel all fuzzy inside. Like a nice warm boal of oatmeal and cyanide.
5089607 5089709 Maaaaaaybe.
5089675 I actually play on PS4. I just like to be platform-agnostic. SEE THIS IS TOTALLY NOT A SELF-INSERT
5089776 5089899 5089782 "Two words: space magic."
5089791 5090089 It is exactly what it sounds like.
5090067
5090443 Not with that attitude.
5090479 Trying to write dialogue that isn't "vanilla" is also something I've been struggling quite a bit with. Though all things considered, most of the dialogue thus far has come from characters that are either motherly (Cheerilee, Rarity) or come from rich families (Diamond, Silver).
5090168 Flames be extinguished. Looks like you're gonna freeze to death. Sorrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy
5091613 Yeah. I almost feel bad for purloining yet another overdone concept, buuuuuuuut...
5091644 Wholly intentional. I've decided that "people" is the most species-neutral reference to groups of sentient creatures, so any usage you find of it will likely be a conscious decision on my part.
5091809 This is gonna sound terrible but I actually do not actively play League of Legends or StarCraft II.
Um. Please put away your pitchforks.
5091823 Oh I know. I just needed to get that off my chest.
(Admittedly, I also don't follow any major streamers and have never watched a live tournament. The live event/spectator side of gaming is wholly alien to me. Which is worrisome since I plan to be writing a lot about that in chapters to come...)
Also,