• Published 1st Oct 2014
  • 14,711 Views, 1,484 Comments

This Game of Mine - Swan Song



Beset by the pressures of her coming-of-age, Sweetie Belle has secretly been turning to video games for relief from her insecurities. But when her unparalleled gaming talent earns her a cutie mark she never asked for, her life is thrown upside-down.

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2. A Light in the Dark

A singer came to me, saying,
'You protect me, and I do nothing in return.'
I told her to sing, and she understood.
Mark of the Beacon   

Ponyville had changed in the last few years. Not enough to feel totally different—still thatched roofs and farmland as far as the eye could see—but enough that many of the faces roaming the streets were mostly unfamiliar. There were a lot more of them, too.

It had definitely helped me slip past Diamond and Silver unnoticed as I left school that afternoon.

"Hide in plain sight."

I had simply become just one more filly in an ever-growing crowd of people. Fewer by the day would notice me, much less so now that the Crusaders had scaled down on their antics and committed to a more structured form of adventuring, one that required much less familiarity with the town's emergency first response unit.

Not that I’d need their help anymore.

I hadn’t gone after my friends either. I couldn’t even bear to face the Crusaders again. After all these years struggling with my very best friends, I had finally gotten my cutie mark… for this.

I was mortified. Diamond knew. Silver knew. Miss Cheerilee knew. The entire freakin’ class knew. I had spent the entire day with my face buried into my desk. Meanwhile those jerks decided it’d be a great idea to decorate my mane with a rather damp fashion statement, applied at range, to accompany my new cutie mark. I smoldered the entire way home, shaking my head to free all the spitballs that had lodged themselves between the curly fibers on my head.

My saddlebags slipped a bit in the process. Horseapples.

I repositioned them so that the marks were properly covered as before, then I glanced around—nopony had noticed.

Well, at least it was over. I rounded the last bend towards the path home.

And came face to face with the last two ponies I wanted to see.

What the—? I thought I managed to slip past these jerks.

I tried to brush past them, but they moved in front of me.

“How’s our little gaymare?” Diamond sneered.

I cringed. That was not something I wanted to hear. “Go away, Diamond.”

“She doesn’t seem overly fond of your new title for her,” remarked Silver.

I snarled and tried to push myself around her. Somehow, I succeeded. Or she let me.

“Aww, does the little gaymare wanna run back to her stable?” mocked Diamond in a shrill tone. “You can’t run away from the ugly truth!”

They laughed as I galloped to the door, hoping by the grace of the Stars that they wouldn’t follow.

They didn't. Seems like fate was smiling upon me today.

Hah. As if.


I snuck into Carousel Boutique as quietly as I could. The bell nearly chimed as I opened the door, but I stopped the impending ring with a minute tendril of magic.

My elder sister was at the kitchen table, sipping her tea and reading the papers. Thankfully, she had her back turned. I shut the door behind me as quietly as I could, hoping to avoid her notice.

It was then that a damnable little ball of furry fury let out a loud screech and pounced on me from a nearby chair.

“GAH!” I fell to the floor, my saddlebags sprawled around me.

Wha—! Sweetie Belle, is that you?” called a silky voice from the other room.

Great... just what I needed. “Yes, Rarity, it’s me.”

I heard a chair slide back. Quickly, I threw Opalescence off of my chest—she hissed and ran off, and I was almost tempted to bare my own teeth at her in response. I tried to stuff my saddlebags again and place them back over my haunches before Rarity could turn the corner.

“Dearie, are you alright? That was quite a scare, and—“ she stopped in the archway, staring at me, just as I managed to slip them back on. “Hang on… S-Sweetie Belle, did I just see—“

“Umm, n-no, sis,” I stammered. “You didn’t see nothing. Er, I mean, anything.”

The widest grin formed on Rarity’s mouth.

Well aren't you just the most persuasive little bundle of subtlety today.

Shut up, brain.

I dully began pondering if an argument against my own subconscious was a sign of insanity, before my thoughts were interrupted by the most inequine squeal of delight.

“Stars above, did you get your cutie mark?!” exclaimed my sister. She rushed forward instantly.

“Horseapples,” I swore under my breath.

“This is magnificent!" She rapidly approached. "This is stupendous!" She shouted gleefully. "This is THE...!" A turquoise aura of magic appeared. "BEST...!" My saddlebags were whisked into the air. "POSSIBLE—!” She swiveled her head.

And suddenly, all was silent as she gazed upon my fate, her effervescent smile glowing in the soft aura of her magic, her pupils shrinking to minute pinpricks.

"—thing?"

For a few seconds more, she processed the emblazoned symbol on my haunches, her face a perfect little mixture of excitement, shock, and horror all encapsulated into a single moment of dawning realization. I was almost impressed by how many emotions you could unceremoniously cram into one dumb expression. Hell, I probably would have taken a picture or something if I could.

Was it bad that my mind instinctively told me to reach for the Screenshot button?

Somehow that thought wasn’t particularly sobering.

“D-darling! I’m so glad for you!” she recovered quickly, sweeping me into a gigantic hug and pushing me over her shoulders such that I was spared another moment of her conflicted visage. “Who would have ever thought.”

“Yeah… who would have ever.”

“When did you— er, earn this?” she asked, putting me down and smiling at me.

I could see that twitch in her eyebrows.

“Last night," I explained, plucking my saddlebags from the air and setting them down. "I was up playing last night, and I beat the hardest raid in the game with my friends.”

“That’s… that’s fantastic, dear!”

“We were the first people to do it in the entire world.”

“Oh!” her eyes glittered, and I actually detected a hint of genuine… something? Or maybe not. “Well, then that’s truly remarkable. Quite the achievement, indeed.” She nodded, and nodded again, as if to assure herself of the truth.

“Yep. Aren’t I just the most amazing little filly,” I said sarcastically, unpacking my schoolwork from the bag. “I’m sure I’ll be just as famous as you someday.”

Ouch. Way to stay true to your name, kid.

“Ahahahaha,” she laughed, with just a tinge of uncertainty, and a look in her eyes that probably said is this filly for real or am I seriously raising a sack of potatoes. “Well you’re certainly the sweetest little flatterer. Is it the same Marendo Game Stable game that we bought for you a few weeks ago?”

“It’s not a Marendo or a GameStable, sis, it’s a Hoofbox,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And that’s not the game, it’s just the machine that plays the game.”

I swear, explaining this again to Rarity was like talking to a thirteen year old.

Heh. See? I could be funny and self-deprecating at the same time.

...Actually, that wasn’t very funny.

“Well! I’m, er, certainly glad that all it took was a couple thousand bits, if it meant you wouldn't have to continue searching for your cutie mark for all eternity.”

I was about to retort with an “I’m not,” but then I stopped and realized the unintentional pun she had made.

And I did the last thing I expected myself to do.

I burst out laughing.

She stared at me, just a little bewildered. “Er, beg pardon, was it something I said?”

It took me a moment to recompose myself. “Hahahaha! Aha,” I controlled my laughter and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Oh mare, I really needed that.”

“Um… I’m sorry?”

I turned to Rarity. She had the silliest, most confused smile on her picturesque face. And it spoke volumes. Even if she wasn’t sure how to feel about my new discovery, even if I myself wasn’t quite sure how to feel… she still wanted to be happy for me. She still wanted me to be happy. And she was trying very hard to make sure I was.

She didn’t deserve my attitude.

I breathed in. And I breathed out.

“Rarity…” I reached up and gave her a hug. “I love you. Thank you.”

There was only a short pause before I felt her leg curl around my neck. “I love you too, Sweetie Belle. Congratulations.”


Dinner was a lovely affair that evening. Rarity had actually seen fit to get dressed—it was a simple thing, just a modest white number with a few frills, nothing extravagant. The table had been set impeccably, with a single candle flickering merrily in the center, and she had prepared one of my favorite dishes, a Gryphosi penne pasta with veggies in white wine sauce.

“I also managed to acquire one of theeese,” she singsonged, levitating a bottle of imported vanilla cream soda over the table to me as I approached.

"Did I ever mention that I love you?" I replied dreamily, cuddling the bottle like it was a newborn foal.

“Only because I bribe you with cream soda and video games, I’m sure,” she teased playfully.

I giggled, climbing into my seat. “You know me too well.”

And dinner began in earnest.

"Did you finish your homework this evening?” she asked across the table.

“Most of it,” I replied, after swallowing a bite. “I’m still kinda chipping away. I’ll probably just need one more hour or so to get the rest of my required reading for the night out of the way.”

“I hope you’ve been remembering to take constant breaks.”

"I have." But not for what you think. I hadn't even turned on my game console all day today. For some reason, I couldn't find the heart to.

Considering the mark on my haunches, the irony was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Don't worry sis. I've been making sure," answering her with a smile that masked my thoughts. "That’s what the egg timer is for, after all.”

“Ah! Have you been putting my suggestion to good use?”

“Yeah, it’s actually worked out really well. An hour, fifteen, an hour, fifteen, just like you said.”

“Good filly,” she nodded in appreciation. “Very good filly. Just let me know if you can’t finish it all tonight—I’ll see what I can do to walk you through it.”

“Thanks, but you should focus on your work. I probably won’t need it anymore now that the raiding season in Eternity is over.”

“If I may be frank for a moment… I must say, you have no idea how refreshing that is to hear,” she said with no small amount of flustered relief.

“Yeah, sorry about that, and…” I paused, a little embarrassed, hesitating with an artichoke heart at the end of a fork before me. “Thanks for being patient with me.”

She had a slightly strained face, but it was quickly overcome with a bright smile. “Anything for my sweetest Belle.”

I felt warm inside. And that totally wasn't because of these glorious sun-dried tomatoes or anything. I licked my lips and savored the tangy flavor. “How has work been?”

“Oh, it’s been rather…” she shifted her eyes. “Time-consuming, to say the least. But I am, surprisingly, getting a decent number of high-profile contracts. A Hoofington theater troupe recently commissioned an assortment of costumes, and despite the extra workload it’s been particularly lucrative.”

“That’s good to hear,” I nodded. “Don’t overwork yourself, okay?”

“Why, whatever could you mean?” she smiled, fluttering her eyelashes. “Fret not, dearest Sweetie, your big sister can handle herself.”

I chuckled, but knew better.

“Though I may need some assistance once the details of the Cirque du Poné contract come in…” she chanted innocently.

“You’re kidding?” I almost stood up in my chair. “You got it?”

“In-deeeeed~” she sang with glee. “I’ll be off to Manehattan by the end of this week to go over the preliminary details, and by the end of the month, I’ll be designing for some of the most extraordinary acrobats this side of the Heartland. Aren’t you proud?”

“More than proud!” I grinned. She had been fighting tooth and nail for a chance at this opportunity. “That’s awesome, sis. There’s no way the nobles in Canterlot can ignore you after this.”

“Absolutely impossible. The Sun must be smiling upon us such that our dreams can come true on the same day,” she sighed daintily.

I couldn't help the pause that crept into my voice. “…Y-yeah. Definitely.” Maye she didn't notice.

“Is… is something the matter, Sweetie?”

Of course she noticed. She was Rarity, for Sun’s sake. Couldn't hide a damn thing from her.

“…Yeah. Yeah, something’s the matter.”

“I daresay, this doesn’t have anything to do with your cutie mark, does it?”

I slouched in my chair. “Gee, I wonder what gave it away,” I replied with good-natured sarcasm.

“Oh dearest Sweetie Belle,” she said in sympathy. “I…”

There was a pause. Both of us knew there was little new to say on the general matter of my hobby. I had already poured out my heart to her about the topic. But this? This was different. New. Unexpected. A development that she could never have foreseen.

“I guess… I just never thought that it would be more than a hobby,” I said, breaking the silence. “I always thought it was just something I could… you know, do in my spare time. For fun. And not make a big deal out of it. But then my cutie mark went and made it into one anyways.”

“But Sweetie, dear, you’re so talented with it, and you love it so. I’ve seen the way you talk about these 'games', the way you admire their craftsmareship, and the dedication you put forth into honing your mastery over them. It’s clear you see something far greater in them than the rest of us will ever know. It’s become more important than that.”

“Yeah, but… did it have to be? And why does the entire world have to know?” I sighed, feeling it all begin to spill out. “I mean, what am I even supposed to do with a cutie mark like this? Sure, I’m really good at games—probably better than all my other friends—but it’s not like I can get a job playing video games or anything. It’s not like it’ll help me get into Celestia’s School in Canterlot. It just seems so…" I struggled to say the words. "…so pointless."

I hesitated, before I opened my mouth again. To finally say what had been on my mind after all this time. To put the final nail in my own coffin.

"What kind of a destiny is this?”

A heavy silence hung over us. I watched the candle flickering softly on the table. It danced merrily in the moonlight, and I couldn't help but be jealous—it knew what it was, it knew its purpose, and it happily set itself to accomplishing that purpose until flickering out of existence, merely awaiting the next moment we would need to summon its beauty and warmth.

If only my purpose were so clear.

Rarity coughed. I turned back to her.

“Well, what of that one filly in your class? Er, Lucky Strike?”

“He’s a colt, sis.”

“Yes, well, he found his destiny in bowling! How is that so different from what you have?”

“Because now he’s competing professionally all over the Heartland in a top-tier bowling league.”

She looked stunned at the news. “Truly? At his age?”

I gave her a flat look. “We’re about to graduate, you know.”

“Oh, oh… right, of course.” She coughed, somewhat embarrassed. “My apologies. Sometimes it seems like all of you are simply just growing up so fast.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Growing up alright.”

"Honestly, Sweetie Belle!” she stood up and walked over to my side of the table. “Don’t deprecate yourself so! You have grown to become a fine young lady.”

“What kinda ‘lady’ gets her cutie mark in video games?” I retorted. The sting of Diamond's and Silver's insults this morning surged back to the forefront of my psyche.

She blanched at that. “Well, I… er…”

“Exactly. We’ve been over this before. There’s a reason why I made you Pinkie Promise not to tell anyone. There’s a reason why I wanted for us to wear coats when we went to get my—“

“Sweetie Belle, I know, dear,” she said, putting her hoof on my shoulder and gently pushing me back into my seat. “Believe me, I know. I don’t doubt I’m the only one qualified enough to know.”

I sighed. Of course she was. Lady Rarity, master of social etiquette and classy demeanor. The one person in this town who knew what outward appearances could do for—and to—a pony. If there was anyone out there in the world who could understand why this bothered me so much, it was her.

So why was she talking like this? Treating it like it was nothing?

As I lowered back down to a sitting position, she joined me somewhat on the chair and pulled me into a hug.

“Sweetie Belle, we all have our secrets. We all have something we do within the confines of privacy that society would likely frown on if they knew. But that doesn’t make us any less than what we are. I have my own fair share of secrets too, you know.”

I looked at her. “You do? Like what?”

“Er… perhaps when you graduate.” She coughed. “Anyways. My point is, there is no shame in these things. Neither you nor I can change what you love, anymore than I can…” she pondered for a moment, putting a hoof to her lips, her eyes wandering in thought before settling on something on the table. “Ah! Anymore than I can tell you to stop loving cream soda.”

…That was… random?

“Think about it. You take a sip of that soda. Your taste buds sing in merriment. Can you suddenly wake up one morning and tell your taste buds that what they had experienced was wrong?”

…Huh. “No, I… I guess I can’t.”

“Similarly, what if I trotted over to Sweet Apple Acres, and told Applejack straight to her face, ‘Apples are revolting and proletarian. You should cease your enjoyment of apples this instant.’ How likely would I be to change her opinion?”

“Hah. You'd have better luck usurping the Diarchy.”

“Precisely. Now, you understand what I mean?"

I gazed off into the distance. "…Yeah. Yeah, I get it." It really was pretty simple, when I looked at it that way.

"Sweetie Belle, listen to me." She put a hoof on my face and turned me to look at her eyes. "Despite everything that’s happened, and despite what your heart has chosen to love, you are still a fine young lady. I believe it to be true, and so should you. No matter what anypony has to say about it.”

I looked up at her, and couldn't help but be enraptured by the sincerity of the soft, graceful smile on her face.

Out of everyone I knew, I had talked to her the most about this. I lived with her every day, after all. She instructed me on lessons of etiquette and demeanor, helped me through my studies, and had taught me just enough to help with her own work… enough to do so without accidentally setting the room on fire, at least.

And, in return for my performance in school, she gave me a weekly stipend, along with occasional payment for services rendered, and even sometimes embellished by her own unconditional contributions. All of which I was allowed to spend on anything I want, no questions asked.

And oh, had she been curious. Sometimes I felt bad for subjecting her to hours of my ranting and raving about how amazing this or that game was or how hard I had worked to achieve something or other. But somehow, I felt like my words resonated with her. She would sit at the table, waxing philosophical about the magnificent things that these virtual worlds could let me experience, or helping me understand concepts that the games had been inadvertently teaching me about the real world.

It was like she understood, and even celebrated, what it was that made me love video games so, even if she never would be able to enjoy them herself.

How could I expect anything less from Rarity?

"Hey sis?"

"Yes, dear?"

“Did I mention that I love you?”

"Mm,” she cooed, pulling me back into her embrace. "A wonderfully familiar refrain.”


“It wasn’t me, I swear!”

“You know this can’t go on forever, Filthy.”

“You don’t know what your cutie mark means?”

“We’re the Crusaders. We’re in it together, aren’t we?”

“I play video games to have fun, not to wage war.”

“Careful! You coulda rung a Belle with that!”

"Nothing good can come of this."


Author's Note:

Dedicated to my sister, the popular girl, constantly surrounded by friends, always into fashion and makeup and MacBooks and all that jazz... but never forgetting what it means to be a wonderful sibling. Thank you, sis. You are a joy and an inspiration.


Credits:
Many thanks to my editors Sharp Quill and Zaid ValRoa, who actually tackled this one before it went out instead of after. You guys shoulda seen the list of corrections. It was quite immense.

Thanks to eggynack and DarthSonic66 for minor corrections.


Story Notes:
If you didn't get the pun that Sweetie Belle started laughing at: here you go. This is the game that Sweetie Belle and Button Mash were playing in the last chapter. It's punny because Destiny helped Sweetie Belle discover her destiny. Get it? Hahahaha!... Sorry. I'll go.


Personal Thoughts:
HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE I PUBLISHED THAT. For some reason it was harder to publish than the FIRST one, just because this time there's around... what, 400 people who are watching this like hawks? Jesus, that's just WAY too much pressure. I dunno, man. You guys are intense.

The positive feedback to this story has been completely overwhelming. This is literally the first story I've ever submitted to fimfic, and hell, the first time I've written in years. As of right now I've been in the Feature Box for a full day. I never imagined that anyone would even care day one. So to see this kind of reception is really, really encouraging, especially since this story ended up containing a lot more of, well, me in it than I had intended for it to when I originally set out to write it.

Also, I'm going to say this now: I've never written Rarity before, and she is such an utter joy to write.

Thanks for your guys's support. Please continue to leave your critiques below; I need your criticism, both good and bad. I want to know what you guys love about this fic, so I can keep adding more of it, and I want to know what ticks you off, so I can work on getting rid of it. You guys are da best.