Friendship is Ganking

by Teh_Zodiac


Rune Checking

For a moment, there was only silence. The cool wind of the night swept across the field as the two sides stared each other down. There was a flash of light, and suddenly only the two Princesses remained. The six mares were now thumping desperately behind a solid wall of light at the top of the hill.

“Sister?” Luna asked, confused.

“The Elements have failed, Luna. I won’t endanger their life further.” Celestia answered calmly.

“Maybe, but we still could have used the magical prowess of Lady Sparkle. Alas, it will be only us who defeats these demons. Just like old times.” She said, smiling.

“Yes, old times.” Celestia concurred. “They look a bit tougher than the usual Tartarus trash, though, don’t th-“ She was cut off as a something that could be described as a thin red line appeared in front of her. It was incredibly hot and it opened, an absurdly scorching gateway of magma. Her surprise didn’t last for long as she was instantly pulled towards it. The slit opened to make space for her, and she was flung in it. She appeared in a split second right in front of the Chaos Knight, who had both of his swords already descending with the force of a hurricane on the still disoriented Celestia. He grunted in frustration as his blades were stopped just above her cranium by a strange, blue aura that felt much like Rubick’s telekinesis. There was only a moment of hesitation, and then he was flung backwards into the air, right into the forest by a veritably furious Luna. She knelt down to see if her sister was unharmed, and she was met with a quick nod. They looked around them: the other intruders had disappeared again, and even the Chaos Knight could not be seen, so far in he had been plunged into the Everfree Forest.

“What was that? I’ve never seen such magic before!” Luna asked confused.

“I don’t know, but we’d better be careful. They are not your average villains, and… Oh, what do we have here?” Celestia said with a smirk as her horn glowed bright yellow, and the ground exploded in front of her. When the small cloud of dust settled, in her firm telekinetic grasp there was a flailing Meepo, who was desperately trying to free himself from the magic grip.

“You really thought burying yourself was more than enough to hide, strange creature? Now you will tell me all about your friends.” She said with her best menacing tone. It had been a long time since she had to play the bad guy. And to be honest, she kind of liked it.

“Leave me alone, lady! When Nessaj comes back, you’ll be in for a good old beating!” Meepo yelled in frustration, not good enough to hide the small smirk from the perceptive Celestia. So, she wasn't caught off guard when she felt a strange shift of air behind Luna, as she quickly pushed both her and her sister to opposite sides, just in time to dodge a blow so strong it left a small crater. In the commotion, she released her grip on the scavenger, who fell to the ground with a yelp. But she was too surprised to take notice of it, as the thing that had tried to hit her and her sister was Meepo himself. Both Luna and Celestia teleported backwards, and saw that now there were two Meepos in front of them: the one who had been captured by Celestia and the one who had tried to cleave her leg off cleanly just a moment before. They didn’t have much time to process the information, as another Meepo dashed from the underground and tried to land another hit on them. They managed to teleport out of the way, but the blow still left a crater the side of a giant rock.

“How many of them are there? I didn’t feel any magic, so how did he do that? And what is that monstrous strength?” Luna asked.

“Luna, look at his shovel! It’s enchanted with runes!” Celestia pointed her hoof at the last Meepo, who was now smiling at them. They dashed forward, hoping to catch him, but with a blur, he appeared right beside the other two.

“Ok, let’s catch all of them with levitation and smack them together until they pass out. Then, we deal with the rest.” Luna said to Celestia, and they both nodded. They opened their wings, ready to make a dash for it, but with a loud boom, the Sand King appeared from under them and send them into the air. It was all so sudden they didn’t manage to open flap their wings in time, and fell face first into the grass.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” Sand King said coldly as he scuttled in front of them.

Luna roared in anger, her horn lit up as she tried to get a good grip of the talking scorpion. But in a split second, he disappeared, his place taken by what looked like a sandstorm. The winds were incredibly strong, and it was difficult to see, with the grains getting into the eyes and the lungs. In their ears resonated a strange chant that made even hearing difficult.

“Oh that’s just great, they can control the weather too now?” Luna yelled as they teleported away. While the numbers weren’t in their favors, it wasn’t the first time they had had to do battle with vicious monsters. But they were Celestia and Luna! They controlled the sun and the moon, and they were constantly pushed back by five low class demons? There wasn’t much space left: only a couple of hundred meters until the barrier Celestia had put up to protect the Elements. They needed a plan, and they needed it now.
But time wasn’t exactly something the Princesses had: the Invoker appeared right in front of them, and said with a smirk:

“Among other things.” And he snapped his fingers. A couple of seconds and a ball of fire and melting rock was flying over his head and pointing right for the alicorns.

“A falling star? Oh no, falling stars are my thing!” Yelled Luna as the fireball stopped in mid air and was yanked back at the Invoker.

“Oh, damn it.” He said, and a small curved staff materialized in his left hand. He pointed it at himself, and was pushed by a dozen meters, just in time to avoid the meteor impacting the ground. He didn’t waste any time, and conjured another spell. Celestia felt a shift into her sun, as a pure beam of concentrated light hit her right on spot. Invoker groaned in frustration, as he saw that his Sun Strike had had no effect whatsoever, and Celestia was uninjured and smiling.

“Using my own sun against me? I think you’re a little overconfident, creature!” She yelled as she threw an incandescent beam of energy back at the Invoker. She too, however, was met with failure, as the beam of magic impacted on a thick wall of ice that had just appeared out of nowhere.

“I think that’s enough, sweetie.” Luna heard a voice behind her, and she suddenly felt something weighing on her back. Her horn lit up as everything around was swept in a cold, pitch black darkness. She turned around to see that it was Akasha sitting on her back, apparently struggling with her magic. It was one of her most famous spell, a fog that conjured up your worst nightmares. However, the demoness seemed perfectly normal, if a bit impeded by the sticky nature of her magic.

“Nightmares, Lulu? You got nothing on Bane.” She said smiling as she teleported again in front of her and stabbed with a small dagger with the hilt shaped like a flower. Instantly Luna felt her link with the moon and the stars disappear and her own magic gone. Celestia dived to help her, only to fly right into a luminous net of light that didn’t allow her to do anything, even teleport. The weight of it pushed her into the ground, her muzzle grinding against the dirt.

“Meepo, honey, net this one too!” Akasha said sweetly as just one Meepo appeared from the darkness and threw another net to pin down Luna, who just growled at her in anger.

“Ok, why don’t you explain to me what is it that you have against me? Was it a bad deal with another succubus? I’ll let you know that my work ethic is top notch! Or maybe you mistook me for someone else?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“Enough, demon! I won’t let you invade my mind like your kind did last time! You’re just like the Nightmare!” Luna yelled at her as she trashed around, trying to get free from the Earthbind.

“Oh, so you had a run-in with Shadow Demon, eh? Well, I’ll let you know that I’m a succubus, I only deal in contracts. You invoke me, you make a contract with me, you offer me something for the trouble and we’re done. I take it you were possessed at some point?” Akasha asked.

“Don’t try and make a fool out of me, demon! I know you crawled out of Tartarus and-“

“Enough! I’m not from this Tartarus you’re babbling about! I’m from the First Hell, ok? The First freaking Hell! I was evoked, I signed a contract and now I’m just trying to fulfill it! And I’m not a guy!” She interrupted her, her normally seductive voice transformed into an annoyed snarl.

“I think she’s telling the truth, Luna.” Celestia said with a resigned sigh.

“Of course I am! Lying is bad for business! I don’t really what you girls encountered before, but it surely wasn’t me or anything even close to my kind.” Queen of Pain said, still somewhat irked.

“I think we may have been too hasty in our judgment, sister.” Celestia whispered to Luna.

“Damn right you have! You didn’t even give us time to explain!” Meepo said angrily, having picked up the whisper. Luna looked up to him, and saw there was only one of him. He decided to inquire about these creatures’ powers later, and to get out of that strange luminous net firstly. However, diplomacy wasn’t her forte.

“But that monster, Chaos Knight! We can’t allow him to roam freely into our Kingdom! He would be a blight on the land!” She said, her face contorted into a frown.

Meepo tried to speak, but was silenced by the imposing steps of the Chaos Knight slowly walking out of the forest. Everyone was mute as he made his way towards the two mares, and pointed a very sharp sword at the throat of Luna. The alicorn of the night recoiled for a moment, but decided to look defiant and eyed Nessaj angrily.

“I don’t care for the lives of mortals, or whatever concept they created to justify their measly existence. I only care about my mission.” He spoke.

“Which is?” Celestia asked hesitantly.

“Going back. Everything else is unimportant.” He answered plainly. “Now you have two choices. You can die here…” And he tapped Luna’s throat slightly. “Or you can give us that lab. Either way, I’ll get what I want. I always do.” The sword started to press on the alicorn’s black fur, and Luna winced for the pain. Celestia looked with fear at the scene, as her eyes darted in panic to the edge of the sword and the Chaos Knight. There was a trickle of blood dripping from her sister’s neck, and she saw Nessaj press on, his sword pushing through the skin, just before-

“ENOUGH! You win! Just leave Luna alone, please.” She yelled. “I’ll give you your lab. Just… don’t hurt her.”

The sword disappeared into thin air, as the Earthbinds dissolved and Celestia rushed to the aid of her scared sister, who was coughing and trembling in the cold air of the night. The Princess of the Sun was defeated.
Even as she caressed her panic stricken sister, her subjects’ wellbeing was the first thing that came to her mind. She knew she wasn’t in position to make demands since they had been sorely beaten, and moreover the Elements of Harmony were revealed as useless against these creatures. But, even if she was still risking her life, she could not allow for her precious ponies to be harmed. She spoke, her voice firm and calm.

“I’ll give you that lab, on one condition. You must not hurt anyone for the rest of your stay.” She closed her eyes, and resigned herself to be threatened again, or even hurt. But what she heard was not the edge of an axe, or harsh words of contempt. It was a simple:

“Fine.”

Her eyes opened in surprise, as he saw the Chaos Knight offering his armor-clad hand to her. She took it hesitantly, and was yanked forward. She was still stunned when she heard him speak again:

“Crixalis, help the other Princess stand on her hooves. Invoker, heal the cut.” He commanded his comrades, and turned back to face Celestia again. The Sun Princess realized just how big he was. He easily towered over her, her head only reaching up to his shoulders. He knelt down, grasped her muzzle firmly with his hand and directed it to the incandescent slit in his helm. Celestia blushed slightly averted his gaze as he spoke. It had been ages since anyone had handled her so roughly.

“I gave you my word, Princess. No harm shall befall your subjects as long as I’m here. Now, uphold your part of the bargain.”


“I’ve never seen such a dreadful forest in all my life! And I’ve been to the Tar Forest of Crimson Lake, I should know! Still this is fascinating… So much mana, so much life!” Rubick said as he picked up a leaf and eyed it intensively. The small figure following behind, clad into a strange suit of armor with tubes and bulbs poking out of it, picked up a small mushroom and shoved it into a slot on his left shoulder.

“I can’t wait to analyze this when we go back to our plane! Imagine the prestige! The fame! There won’t be a scientist in the world who will not know the name of Boush!” Tinker said with a boastful laugh. A gigantic bear appeared from behind and gently tapped him on the shoulder with a vicious looking claw. The Tinker turned around and tried to muster his best puppy eyes. But the bear didn’t seem fazed in the slightest and pointed at the ground. Tinker opened the slot and tossed the mushroom back into the humid, dark soil.

“Why do you have to be such a spoilsport, Ursa?” He asked.

“I don’t trust you with mushrooms, Keenfolk. Or anything that could even be remotely dangerous. You never know when to stop! Think of the cubs! Won’t somebody please think of the cubs?” Ursa said with a trembling voice, as tears started to swell in his eyes and he sagged to the ground.

“Ehi, it’s okay, Ursa. We’ll be able to go back. We have the Grand Magus, right here! Isn’t that right Rubick?” Tinker said as he eyed the magician, busy mumbling formulas at the most interesting leaf in the world.

“I said, ISN’T THAT RIGHT RUBICK?” He yelled, and kicked the wizard in the shin.

“What? Oh, yes yes, of course, we’ll go back!” Rubick said with a frantic nod. He walked to the saddened Ursa, already a trembling mass of sobs. He looked at him for a while, unsure what to do. He settled for a pat and a whispered “There, there”.

“Don’t worry about your cubs, honorable Ursine! With the Moon as our guidance, we will be able to do everything!” A female voice was heard from the bushes. Moments later, a beautiful woman clad in armor and a strange ball of light made their way into the clearing where the rest of Radiant team had been resting.

“Thank you, Luna” Ursa said with a few sniffles. The moment was solemn and moving. The cool breeze was soothing and the quietness of forest pleasant. Wisp spoke. A strange collection of beeping sounds that ended with something that was suspiciously similar to laughter. As he finished talking, everyone in the clearing except for Luna started snickering uncontrollably.

“What did he say this time?” Luna asked with an angry frown.

“He said…” Tinker spoke with difficulty, snickering all the while. “He said… Why don’t you ask Nova for guidance?”

And they all started laughing hysterically. Luna groaned and rolled her eyes. This was going to be a long night.