• Member Since 17th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

ajvasquezbrony28


I'm am an autistic brony, looking to write fantasy and everyday life novels for my kind. I became a brony when I related well with applejack and twlight, and I love the show.

Dec
13th
2018

New Video tributes (on live) · 3:01pm Dec 13th, 2018

hey, ya'll, i have two new videos (three if you count my wish to go to bronycon one)
the first plays respect to Stan lee, on the first MCU movie, iron man, and if it still holds up!
the next, is a tribute to the more recent passing of Stephen hilenburg, on, if not hsi work, the legacy he left behind with the spongebob musical, and if it's any good. be sure to check out both!

*edit; what times would be best for any of you to watch a live premier for future videos?

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https://1drv.ms/u/s!AuxgPdGQ96bFvswM5frdQxoAGHnNOw

Ok, I listened to your lines. I think there's some things you could do to improve on them. For the high pitched stallion, that line is made as a statement, like a declaration. "Princess Twilight is not coming!" Try shouting it out if you can.

meanwhiles, hows it otherwise looking to finsih this/your comic?

(on the mill) for those who say, this could never happen, NO! no, maybe not quite like this, btu you’d be surpsied how such simular work conditons have existed just in american history. Simply look up company store.



(on the witches magic) so… it’s dance magic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgL_d6k8L2s



(scarcrow to life and talking mouse) Well it’s not the worse way to get talking animals into your universe



(the wicthes logic on bring the scarcorw life) wait, so.. you’re on the run, and you made a talking scarcorw… Oh it get’s even better ^^

Cause it’s not like she needed a friend, I though our lead was her friend, for that mater, wouldn’t it make more sense if she made him more for her, than herself? It only bits her in the foot when she leaves for… reasons… why she leave again?



(on our lead not leaving for the kids and for most of the mill musical number) You know, I will give this story credit for it’s mane charcter. I mean, she’s no Belle, but at the very least! They gave her some kind of goal to drive the story forward. And, it’s not an unrelatable one, she just want’s to get out of poverty, and is willing to work and save for that goal. so yeah, I’ll give it points for not jus tbeing a dumbass in distress.



(Villian) Ugh! All at once this guy, his plan and own goals, is both stupid, and not silly enough. I mean come on, I’m sure if you wanted a goofy villan you could do better.



(More on the scarcrow) … you know what would make this story less cringy, if she actually knew the scarcrow could talk. I mean, I wasn’t kidding when I wondered why the witch didn’t bring him to life so she could have a friend! I mean, wouldn’t that just add more to their realtonship and sort of tradegy that she was willing falling for a strawman?... Oh there is a lot of symbolisum in that idea, but nope! Ruels say, don’t talk to her because we need tnesion in a cheap genaric way than just letting their love grow over real bonding!



(scarcrow song) I have to say, not bad, but may I offer a better choice here? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs



(coins getting stolen) hey, random thought; why silver coins and 13? Aren’t both of those suppose to relate to supersitions in a negative light?



(rock on window0 use a bigger rock!)



(bird steal coins) WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!



(Witch and phone gag) Oh god no! No! Don’t bring monder day anyoances into your fantasy story for laughs! Your not robin williams, you can’t make it work, granny!



Featherhat… don’t’ see that turning into an overused pun.



(dance number with human scarecrow) not going to lie, it’s another catchy number… I should save it!



(girl asks for help form feather) lady, when someone so willingly offers you something for nothing, that should raise red flags!

And I knew he would let her have all of the prize money in the end, but the way this comes across makes her sound gready. Here, let me re-write this…

Girl: would you dance with me, mister?

Feather: of course

Girl: Oh, but…

Feather: yes?

Girl; it’s just… (looks to the kids) I, um, I could really use all of the money if we win. But I’ll settle for just 39 of the coins! And I’ll, well, no, I couldn’t ask of-

Feather: Hey, it’s okay! You can have all of the prize money when we win.

Girl: really?!

Feather: really, I’d just be happy to do it for fun, and to make such a beautiful young women like you smile.

Girl: oh thank you, thank you! (she glomps him, only to pull back blushing hard)



I’d still have it where the they were allowed to know who he was and that he could talk! But all I’m asking is you take time with a second draft!



(there, romance dance) SEE! How much better would this be if she knew he was the scarcrow and they were always friends?! Instead of just a one day love at first sight? I mean, they had a whole lifetime to possible know each other! Wouldn’t this have been a great point for the tradgey of the situation where they realize they could never be with each other?

Also, this would be a much better choice for this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MwpdjbMucI

-you know, it just occurred to me that there’s no real reason this villian would have eyes for our lead. I mean, with Belle it was established she was the most beautiful women in the villege, but that’s not really estalibshed here. And another thing, how she get that dress if they’re so broke? Again, in a re-write, I’d have the kids take it for her or something to show their love for her



(dance night) and here I thought the dnace magic or the witch was the stupidest thing about this movie, we get whatever style of dance this is. Look, putting something present for your time (don’t like saying mondern, since present for it’s time sounds more fiting) isn’t a bad thing, but when you do it like this, it only takes you out of the story and world you’re trying to create.

I mean, even this would be better for this number;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6rqbzuOFtA



(when villian shows off his mirror collection) buddy, you have issuse! I think you may want to talk to this girl (juniper montage)



Wow that rat is an ass! Also, what’s the big deal with him just now realizing this? Dude, you can work out the details later, but now if you don’t show, you’re only going to hurt her more.



(he’ll kill them) I was kidding about him having problems OwO also, I really like this buttler charcter. Willing to shoot the elephant for his own well being, but knowing shooting a girl and orpahns is a step to far.



(henchmen running away from bridg) nope, nope, you can’t write us a big enough paycheck for this madness!



Insert beauty and the beast gastons death refrence!



Oh I’m sure he’s dead l-( yeah, I don’t care if it’s anyoing to hear, I hate the cop out death ending! Well, maybe hates a strong word admitably (there are some that do it right like in beauty and beast and lesser exstent Coco and Wall-e) but I respect a story much more when it avoids this!



Oh gee, where’s the feather, yeah this would be much more effective if it kept the top of his hat hidden until it was time for him to realize he wasn’t human.



Ending; oh yeah ^^ just lie about who you are and everything will work out, and suddenly everything is okay just because that mil guy is still alive, and everyone’s problem can be fixed by killing off the main rich as-hole in your town and everyone can dance to music that hasn’t been invented yet!



Final verdit: Honestly, I’d hardly call this a bad movie anymore than I could say season eight (at least first half so far) of friendship Is bad, it’s just… medicore diet disney. It has some good elements, like acknokleing such sweat shops like th emill exisit, the musical and dance numbers are well animated, even if it’s trying to knock off don bluths style more than diseny. Honestly the worse parts where with the rat and witch, and thinking that this story could have been much better if it had been changed to where the female lead knew about the scarcrow her whole life, and the story was more about the tradgy of them never being able to be together for that very reason

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Dec
13th
2018

New Video tributes (on live) · 3:01pm Dec 13th, 2018

hey, ya'll, i have two new videos (three if you count my wish to go to bronycon one)
the first plays respect to Stan lee, on the first MCU movie, iron man, and if it still holds up!
the next, is a tribute to the more recent passing of Stephen hilenburg, on, if not hsi work, the legacy he left behind with the spongebob musical, and if it's any good. be sure to check out both!

*edit; what times would be best for any of you to watch a live premier for future videos?

Read More

Report ajvasquezbrony28 · 14 views ·
Dec
13th
2018

New Video tributes (on live) · 3:01pm Dec 13th, 2018

hey, ya'll, i have two new videos (three if you count my wish to go to bronycon one)
the first plays respect to Stan lee, on the first MCU movie, iron man, and if it still holds up!
the next, is a tribute to the more recent passing of Stephen hilenburg, on, if not hsi work, the legacy he left behind with the spongebob musical, and if it's any good. be sure to check out both!

*edit; what times would be best for any of you to watch a live premier for future videos?

Read More

Report ajvasquezbrony28 · 14 views ·
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