• Published 1st Apr 2016
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Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything


Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Mysterious Ways, by Masterweaver and FoME
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(Masterweaver)

"No."

"But—"

"No," Sunset repeated, frowning.

"But—It's a lightsaber!"

"Yes it is. Now think about that feeling you're having. Now realize that every little kid that has seen Star Wars will have that same feeling. Now think about how easy it was to make that thing when you realized you had magic."

"...Oh."

"Give," Sunset commanded, her hand outstretched.

Reluctantly, the five star general handed over the metal cylinder. "You... do realize that people are going to make this all the time, right?"

"Mmmmyep. I'll just make sure only my 'chosen paladins' can keep them." The girl lit the blade up, examining it. "Or something. I'm still kind of new to this whole 'god' thing."


(FoME)

"'Chosen paladins'? Really?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "What, will you take their lightsabers away if they stop being lawful good?"

Sunset glanced about the Canterlot High lab, unable to make eye contact with the other girl. "Well, what was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know." Twilight crossed her arms. "I'm not a god."

"I don't think of myself as a god, and I don't want to. But there's a time and a place for explaining precisely what I've become. Convincing someone not to give lightsabers to one of the world's largest armed forces is neither."

Twilight sighed. "Sunset, from a cynical perspective, human history could be seen as an exercise in finding new and exciting ways to kill each other." Her expression softened as she put a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "You're going to run yourself ragged if you try to keep everyone on the planet from weaponizing magic."

Sunset kept looking away. "I... wasn't entirely joking about the religion."

Twilight took a step back, frowning. "Sunset..."

"Like it or not—and I don't—a few people already worship me. Heck, someone with a 3D printer has been making pendants of my cutie mark! I might as well try to use that for good."

After a bit of awkward silence, Twilight smiled. "Well, I can't do anything about your little cult, but I may have a better way for you to effect change."


"Hello. I'm Sunset Shimmer, and welcome to Magical Mayhem, where I explain how to use magic safely and responsibly by showing you what can go wrong if you don't. For our first episode we have... Well, let's at least try to avoid the lawsuit and call it a "beam sword." Before we begin, remember, I am a trained professional and also immortal. Do not try this at home. That's the whole point of this series. Do share, like, and subscribe though!"


(Masterweaver)

"...I cannot believe I'm doing this."

"Don't worry deary. If you're uncomfortable, you can just leave."

"Just leave—? HER? She's the reason we had to form this group in the first place!"

"The whole point of this group is to be comforting, understanding, and supportive. If she doesn't feel right being here—"

"No, it's fine, it's just... a little silly, you know? 'Gods Anonymous.'"

"Deities, dear. It's less denominational. And not all of us are really gods."

"Right, right. Okay. Hello, I'm Sunset Shimmer, the Spirit of Harmony and... I have over three hundred thousand worshipers worldwide."

"Three hundred thousand? Quite the burden. I've got my hands full with the three thousand children I have and, somehow, more are trickling in every day."

"That might be because of the whole counterpart thing. The Chrysalis of the other world is the queen of a eusocial species with all that that implies."

"Ahem, well. It's good to know the Wholesome will be completing so many lives."

"So your slutty cult is getting more sluts. Whoop-de-doo."

"Actually, Ahuizotl, the Wholesome believes in sharing all weakness to fill together all strength. How many children are in your flock?"

"....five."

"What? Only five? I mean, I'm not from this world but I would have thought the catgirl transformation would be more popular."

"Well, there's the whole 'sacrifice a cat to get the transformation' deal, and the fact that I'm apparently not as much of a god since I need an amulet to use my power... and my professional rival. She slandered me all the time before this."

"Don't worry, dear, I'm sure you'll get more kittens as you establish your beliefs...."

Author's Note:

Some deities have holy texts. Sunset has a EweTube channel and a wiki.

Meanwhile, Mr. Discord has said that he will flunk any student he catches worshipping him.

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