• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 3,674 Views, 3,058 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Twisted Tales, by ArtieStroke

"You girls wanna Woohoo?"

"Please," Aria said, slumping onto the table in front of her mic, "the only thing worse than the inane questions our viewers send in are the random Woohoo asks they submit."

"Just read the submission, Sonata," Adagio said, filing her nails. The girl obliged.
"Alrighty, this one was sent in by Level 9000 Red Cloaks Captain Quill Davenport—thank you, Davenport! It reads, 'Really freaked out my girlfriend, need help'."

Adagio perked up, "Ooh, relationship advice, my favorite."

Sonata giggled, "You ain't seen NOTHING yet. Anyways, 'When I was younger I dealt with depression, and as a coping mechanism I formed a bit of a bond with the comic character Pasta Cat."

"Oh, please no—"

"It's sad, but reading his shenanigans was the only thing that helped me cope, and eventually it took on an—pff... EROTIC FIXATION!"
Sonata howled with laughter, pounding the table as Adagio's interest quickly waned. Great, just another great big goof. Her talents were wasted on this advice podcast.

Aria, on the other hand... "Holy SHIT this GOLDEN. Is there more?!"

Sonata nodded through her tears of laughter, "In order... PFFF... in order to not feel like some kind of sicko, I started drawing Pasta Cat with a GIRL'S BODY. And in parenthesis, 'think circa mid 90s Chrysalis'."

"Fucking nailed it in ONE. DEFINITELY not the work of a sicko," Aria laughed.

Adagio shrugged. "Honestly, I've seen weirder on the Internet. This is child's play."

"Putting a pin in THAT thought," Aria said, motioning Sonata to continue.

She cleared her throat. "Anyways, long story short, my girlfriend stumbled onto the hidden folder in my computer where I kept my years worth of self-insert fanfiction. How do I show her that I'm just a normal guy with a unique outlet for my emotional troubles?"

Aria nodded sagely, "Well, really there's— first of all, when he's getting goosey with Pasta-Catsylis, is that like a thing that happens only on Mondays? Because that makes just, just a lot of sense."

"Poor abomination against sanity probably hasn't had a good lay in any of those stories," Adagio agreed.

Sonata pouted. "I mean, different strokes and all that, yeah? EVERYONE has some feelings deep inside you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER tell anyone," Adagio and Aria gave each other a very pointed look, "And I'm not saying mine is on the level of cartoon cat-head person-body—"

"The key to success here," Aria interrupted, "Is just keeping that shit locked AWAY. Like, maybe NOT telling the entirety of the Internet about it? Cause that shit's forever."

"Really screwed the pooch on that one." Adagio agreed.

"Or the pussy."

The three of them all had a good laugh, before Sonata got on the mic again, "Alright, I think that's gonna do it for us, folks. This has been My Sister, My Sister and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm Sonata Dusk."

"I'm Aria Blaze."

"And I'm Adagio Dazzle. kiss your lover square on the lips."

With a flick, Sonata turned off the recording equipment, grinning, "I think this may be our best episode yet."

Author's Note:

I'll let Artie explain this one:

Quick note- following the MBMBAM submission formula, Davenport FOUND that Woohoo Ask on the net and submitted it to the podcast for giggles- Davenport is NOT the one with the Pasta Cat fanfiction, I do not besmirch our dear sofa and quills salesman. Based on this GOLDEN bit from My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

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