• Published 1st Apr 2016
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Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Vice Squad, by FoME

For years, three of the most put-upon administrators in Hassenfeld County met at a bar in Crystal City every Saturday to vent about their respective principals. Glimmer Goodwitch fit into the group as though she’d always been a part of it.

Luna swirled her drink as she finished telling the others of her encounter with Headmaster Pin. No one was quite sure what she did to the dark rum, herself included, but by the time she considered it fit for consumption, it emitted shadows the same way a candle shed light. “I am beginning to suspect that no one with a clean bill of mental health can run a school in this county.”

Jace Beleren, vice principal of Ravnica High, waved a hand uncertainly as he put down his Shirish coffee. “To be fair, I can kind of see his point. Speaking from experience, if someone that young has that level of legal manipulation, you want to keep him where you can see him.”

Cadence held up a finger as she waited for her Single Entendre to finish its languorous journey down her throat. She’d invented the drink in college with the sole express purpose of making something that looked like a glass of her hair. Once she finished swallowing, she said, “Assuming his parents didn’t help him.”

“They didn’t,” said Glimmer, toying with her martini’s olive in her telekinesis. “Headmaster Pin assured me.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, he didn’t say how he knew that.”

Glimmer shook her head. The others groaned. “I take it that’s a common theme?”

“Abacus will never admit it, but she thinks of herself as a queen,” said Cadence. “Even before the incident, she expected the rest of us to obey without question, like good little subjects.”

Jace snorted. “’Subject’ is too human a term for Niv-Mizzet. He treats us more like programs or chemical reactants.”

“Celestia’s better in some ways and much worse in others,” said Luna. “The problem is that she’s using the entire student body to satisfy her maternal instincts. She has trouble seeing people as anything other than teenagers in need of her guidance.” She shook her head. “Hence CHS’s rather lax admittance policy.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “You mean ‘Anyone who looks like a teenager and walks through the door’?”

“As I said, lax.”

Glimmer couldn’t help but grin. “I’m beginning to understand the reasoning for your hypothesis.”

Author's Note:

Jace comes from a country where the noun phrase naming convention never caught on. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :raritywink:

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