• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 2,671 Views, 2,424 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything


Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

  • ...
15
 2,424
 2,671

Divine Comedy, by CrossRedstone and FoME
PreviousChapters Next

(CrossRedstone)

“—and it was going just fine! How should I know the cloud would discharge a lightning bolt, roasting our TV?!” Rainbow Dash complained, finishing her story.

The other girls, even Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, could only facepalm at their friend’s latest attempt of a prank. Apparently, the rainbow haired girl thought it would be a good idea to wake her father up with a raincloud. Only this cloud had been fully electrically charged and well, the results spoke for themselves.

“Honestly, Rainbow Dash. Did you even consider what you could have done with your carpet?” Rarity chided. Everyone looked.

“What?” Rainbow deadpanned. “The carpet?”

“Why, yes! Don’t you know how easily it can be damaged, when—” That was as far as Rarity got, when suddenly the window to the music room was broken from an outside force, which came in form of a red and yellow blur. Everybody jumped in surprise, letting out various shrieks, their gazes fixed on the spot where the blur landed. As soon as the dust settled, they saw it was their friend and now goddess Sunset Shimmer lying on the ground, eyes unfocused and letting out groans of pain.

“Urrgh, the pain… is real…”

“SUNSET!” Everyone exclaimed, rushing to her side.

“Can you hear me?”

“Are you alright?”

“What happened?!”

“Doctor, we need a doctor!”

“Stop!” Sunset shouted, before her friends got any more hysterical. She pushed herself up from the ground and dusted off her clothes. “I’m fine girls. See? No bruises.”

The girls were of course relieved to see her okay, but that still begged one question.

“What in Tartarus just happened?!” Twilight exclaimed. “What did you do?”

Sunset shook her head, some glass shards falling out of her hair. Upon noticing the damage she did, she fixed everything, before telling the girls.

“Well, I came up with a few of my own theories of Pinkie’s... let’s say unique magic.” Everybody flinched immediately. “H-hey! I took all necessary precautions! I put myself in a dimensional space pocket, put a dimensional space pocket in the space pocket, repeated the process four times, got myself some survival gear and a helmet.”

“A helmet.” Twilight deadpanned. “And what was the survival gear for?”

“In case I landed in another dimension, where all magic is nullified for some reason.” Sunset explained. “Besides, it contained things I may have forgotten.”

“I can list two hundred fifty three.” Twilight stated.

“Moving on” Sunset made a gesture “in short, I couldn’t figure it out, so I came back and was just on my way to school, when I got hit by a car.”

….

….

“Wait, wut?” Applejack blinked. “Ya got hit by a car?!”

“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to know everything that’s happening and going to happen and has happened, has not happened, but happened anyway and might happen, if not mmmph, mm, mmmph…”

Rainbow put a hand on Pinkie’s mouth.

“You got hit. By a car. YOU of all people.”

“Well the experience was...enlightening. I now know how Pinkie’s magic works, having accidentally used it for the first time myself.”

Twilight teleported in front of Sunset, a crazy grin on her face and her hair looking just a little astray.

“Tell. Me. EVERYTHING!!”

“I-I-I’m not sure, Twi!” Sunset stammered. “That knowledge might prove to be-”

“TELL ME!!”

“Alright, alright, fine.” Sunset took a few steps back, breathing in and out.

“Okay here it comes. Pinkie’s magic basically is…”

Everyone looked at her in anticipation.

“Cartoon logic.”

(FoME)

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Well, duh."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"I'm going to need more detail than— Hold on." Twilight glared. "You're telling me that you, the sole stabilizing influence on what is still a very fragile universe, performed an experiment that could've shunted you out of that universe?"

Sunset met her gaze with nary a flinch. "It would've been a very small fraction of my power and awareness. Besides, after all of my safety precautions, the odds of that happening were around one in sixteen trillion." She turned to Pinkie. "Now, what do you mean, 'duh'?"

"You have to admit, Sunset," said Rarity, "'cartoonish' is certainly one of the first words that come to mind when describing Pinkie's antics." The others nodded.

Sunset flushed. "In my defense, Equestria doesn't really have animation, and I was too busy feeling superior to the techno-barbarians to take in much pop culture before you all rainbowed some sense into me."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "'Techno-barbarians'?"

"This was back when I was queen bitch of CHS."

"Sounds pretty cool to me," said Dash. "Like a bunch of guys with titanium loincloths and chainsaw-axes."

"Remind me to tell you about Hyperspace Hyperwars some time," said Twilight. She turned to Sunset. "Now, if you could elaborate on what you meant by 'cartoon logic'—"

"Nope!" Pinkie interposed herself between them, an arm stuck out to either side. "You two are not having that discussion."

Twilight and Sunset looked over Pinkie's shoulder, each seeing a confused look on the other. "What?" said both.

Pinkie turned to face Sunset. "Think about it. You're basically a god."

Sunset looked away. "Only by certain definitions of the term."

"Someone hit you with their car."

"You're still on that?" Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, the driver and the car are both fine, and I just bruised my ego. Plus, I did manifest in the middle of the road."

Pinkie nodded. "Yes. You, mistress of this world, popped in where you didn't mean to." She leaned in close. "This is dangerous magic, you're toying with Sunset."

"But—"

"Butts are for sitting. Trust me on this one. Leave. Comedy. To the professionals. Do you understand?" Pinkie's voice echoed with those last words, her eyes azure pools of light.

Sunset nodded, in a similar state. "Yes, Laughter."

Applejack cleared her throat. "Anyone else gettin' real creeped out?"

"I've got this." Twilight put a hand on each glowing-eyed girl's shoulder. "Alright, you two, snap out of it. You're flesh and blood, not intangible concepts." She gave each a shake for good measure.

Sunset blinked and shook her head, her eyes back to normal. "Right. Thanks."

"Good thing, too," Pinkie said, all smiles. "If I were an intangible concept, how could I eat cake?"

PreviousChapters Next