• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 3,580 Views, 3,021 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Transubstantia-shunned, by Void Knight, FoME, and ArtieStroke

(Void Knight)


“Sunset? Wha—”

Before Twilight could even finish her sentence, Sunset had wrapped her up in a hug, squeezing as if Twilight were the only thing keeping her from getting dragged off to Tartarus while babbling in in the sleepy girl’s ear. “OhCelestiaOhCelestiaOhCelestia...”

“Can’t. Breathe.” gasped Twilight.

Sunset’s grip slackened a bit, but she still didn’t let go of Twilight for another minute or two. Finally, the two girls released each other and Sunset took a seat on the bed. Twilight gave her girlfriend a long look. Sunset’s eyes looked haunted, her body shook slightly, and her hair kept dissolving into a nimbus of comfortably warm flames about her head before recondensing into hair.

“You want to talk about it?” Twilight asked, trying to sound as receptive as she could.

Sunset took a deep breath, and her hair stopped flickering. “I thought I knew what it meant to have creepy worshippers. The prayers, the pendants, all that, I thought that was creepy. That wasn’t creepy. What I just... heard is the best word for it, I suppose. What I just heard some of them doing, that was creepy.”

“What did they do?” asked Twilight, bracing herself internally.

The two girls shifted around to sit side by side, backs against the head of Twilight’s bed. Sunset’s headgem flared green, and a rectangle of golden light traced itself on the air in front of them. Inside the rectangle, an image of some kind of chapel shimmered into view, filled with people dressed in their best clothes. More than a few, including the lady standing at the front, had the same bright yellow skin and striped red-and-yellow hair as Sunset herself.

For a moment, Twilight had no idea what had so disturbed Sunset. But then the priestess removed the cover of a dish sitting on the table in front of her, and the image zoomed in to reveal a pile of bacon bits. At the same time, sound joined the image, a voice that was presumably the priestess’s speaking from offscreen.

“I would ask those serving to come forwards. If the rest of you could wait as the element is distributed, we will partake together as one communion in Sunset.”

The image zoomed back out again to show several figures come forward and distribute the bacon bits among everyone. Sunset’s arm gradually slipped around Twilight and pulled her closer as the ceremony progressed, until by the time the servers returned to the front of the room Sunset was pressed up against Twilight like a vine against a wall. Twilight felt like a rabbit hypnotized by a serpent, horrified at what she was seeing but unable to look away.

The priestess raised her handful of bacon. “This is the body of Sunset, which we take in communion with Her,” she said, before eating.

“This is the body of Sunset,” echoed the roomful of worshippers, before they too took their mouthfuls of bacon. The image cut out.

“And that,” said Sunset, “is when I teleported to you.”

“You’re right,” said Twilight after a long moment. “That was an entirely new dimension of creepy.”


"Hmm..." Ruby Rose stroked her chin in thought. "So by consuming the bacon bits, you symbolically become one with the Glorious Proclaimer?"

"Precisely," said Western Horizon, founder of Bacharism.

"I see. Do you think that those of us who venerate Her equine aspect could make it work with hay?"

"Only the Golden-Marbled One can say for certain, but I don't see why it would not. The substance matters less than the intention with which it is consumed." After a moment, Western added, "Though I'm fairly certain she'd smile more on a substance you can actually digest."

Twilight awoke from a dream of being spooned by Sunset to find it had come true in one of the less pleasant ways. She turned to face her girlfriend as best she could. "Whuh?"

All Sunset said was, "It's spreading."

After a few moments, Twilight coerced enough neurons to fire to get her to say "What is?"

"The creepy bacon rite."

Twilight didn't say another word. She just held Sunset until the sun rose.


"... and so, I think we should add consumption to the Shimmerist curriculum." Ruby said, beaming in front of her three cardinals. The three of them gave various looks, before the pope's sister raised her hand. "Yeah, Sunny?"

"Ruby, that's kinda..." She grimaced, motioning to the other two to help her out.

"Creepy?" Belladonna said, turning back to her book.

"Disgusting?" Snow said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.


"Non-vegetarian inclusive?"

The rest of them looked at Snow for that one, as she shrugged her shoulders, "What? I find meat to be barbaric! No thank you!"

"C'mon, guys!" Ruby whined, "I got it explained and everything! Why don't you just give it a chance—"

"Rubes," Sunny said, standing up and putting a hand on her little sister's shoulder, "I know you're the pope here, but... Sunset's kind of still a person, yeah?"


"And how would you feel if a bunch of people worshiped you by eating a thing and pretending it was your body?"

Ruby frowned, "Ehhhhh..."

Sunny ruffled Ruby's hair, "Just give it more than a passing thought, okay? You know," she said, grinning, "Food for thought."

Belladonna sighed as Snow and Ruby groaned at Sunny's joke.

"Sunny, you're the worst."

"Don't you mean... the WURST? Eh? Ehh?"

"Just stop!"

"I swear I will excommunicate you!"

Author's Note:

The first part is what happens when Void Knight's imagination gets going in the middle of communion. The rest of us jumped on the idea.

For the record, Harmonism doesn't have any kind of symbolic food rite. Western Horizon apparently got blindsided by a Prachettian inspiration particle and ran with it, much to Sunset's distress.

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