• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 3,658 Views, 3,057 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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The Care and Feeding of Minions, by Masterweaver

"Look, Sunset, I get that you're a god and all now—"

"I am really uncomfortable with that word—"

"—and I know we kind of avoided you after the whole demon thing—"

"That is entirely understandable—"

"—but I'm really freaking out here. I, I don't know who else to turn to, and..."

Sunset, not for the first time, let out a sigh. "Okay, Snips. I'll come with you."

"Great! It-it's this way." The stocky teenager waved a hand, running down the road. "We've got to hurry!"

Sunset rolled her eyes, easily keeping up with her former minion. "Will you at least tell me what's going on?"

"You know how you transformed us into those flying demon things back when you were evil?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I think there might have been side effects!" Snips gestured. "Like, when you fixed magic, the connection or something did something!"

Sunset frowned. "That... could be serious, actually. What kind of side effects?"

"Well, I didn't notice anything before, but now that I think about it, I might be, I dunno, smarter? Like I'm finding all my schoolwork a little easier or something! But what's really important is Snails," Snips emphasized. "I mean, you know what he's like, not all there at all—"

"So you think he couldn't resist this whatever as much, so he's more seriously affected?"

"Yeah! I mean—" Snips stopped suddenly, gesturing at a door. "Look, you have to promise not to freak out, okay? Just... look in there. Sneaky like."

Sunset frowned, flicking her eyes toward the door. The gem on her forehead glowed for a moment or two. "...Okay, so... Snails is taking ballet."

"He's wearing a tutu and everything!" Snips clutched his head. "I mean, when he told me he seemed so happy, I had to pretend it was cool and get out of there—"

Sunset facepalmed.


"Snips, you know how I threatened to expose your, and I quote, 'super geeky papercraft artwork' in order to get you to work for me?"

"Uh..." The teenager's eyes darted left and right. "Y-Yeah. I, uh. Yeah. You still haven't, right?"

"No. And frankly it was wrong of me to do that, and your artwork is actually pretty good and you should be proud of it, but that's besides the point right now." Sunset let her eyes open. "How do you think I managed to get Snails on board?"

"Uh... I dunno. I always thought you just told him to do something and he did, because he's kind of stupid."

"...I threatened him like I threatened you."

"Wait, Snails has super geeky papercraft artwork?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Snails has taken ballet class for as long as I've known him."

Snips' eyes bulged. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah. Before I came to Earth, even." She nodded. "He's got the legs for it, you've got to admit."

"Uh--but--I thought..." Snips gulped. "Um."

"You thought....?"

"I... thought that maybe... your, uh, impulses might have imprinted on him, when we were, uh, transformed, and then the magic made them come back?"

Sunset slowly raised an eyebrow as Snips fidgeted.

"Or maybe," she suggested very calmly, "Snails has grown more confident in himself and his interests, as a result of growing up." She shrugged. "Or it could be that he has new magic abilities giving him confidence. Or maybe he just wanted to share something special with his best friend. I don't know."


"Also, I don't do ballet."


"I can pull off some mean breakdancing stunts though."

"...Ah." Snips cleared his throat. "So... just to be clear, you're absolutely sure me and Snails haven't been mind-whammied?"

Sunset held up a finger, paused, and then smiled a smile all too familiar to him. "Actually, now that you mention it, it might be good to have you two visit the NAHTI this weekend..."

Author's Note:

Odds are any perceived increase in intelligence on Snips's part is a combination of gradual maturation and a psychosomatic sense that it's "okay" to be smarter than he gave himself credit for after the Saturation. Not necessarily the only explanation, but a likely one.

As for Snails, he does have the legs for ballet.

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