• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 3,526 Views, 2,998 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Plight of the Xenophile, by FoME and Masterweaver


"Hello, Dr. Anxiety." Twilight settled herself onto the couch and smiled at her therapist.

"Good afternoon, Twilight," said Deep Anxiety, Psy.D., much as she had before her metamorphosis. She might have been probing Twilight's psychological weaknesses before Chrysalis was deposed, but she was still a darn good therapist.

Besides, both knew that Ponyville needed all the mental health professionals it could get.

"I wanted to discuss the human world this week."

Dr. Anxiety took a notepad and quill in her magic "Very well."

"Specifically, certain..." Twilight bit her lip and fidgeted. "Certain romantic concerns."

"Certainly. Honestly, I'm surprised we don't discuss such matters more often. A mind that's normally a one-point-five on the Linseed intensity axis suddenly thrust in the body and brain of a glorified bonobo?" Dr. Anxiety shook her head. "That sort of thing would throw anypony off-balance. So, what brought this up?"

"This... may sound strange."

Deep smiled and looked over her glasses. "Twilight, I'm Ponyville's resident psychologist, I metabolize emotional energy, and I look like I sprang out of a melting box of crayons. Trust me, whatever it is, I've heard stranger."

"It's just... I don't understand why I never seem to feel this way about ponies."

"As I said, you just don't feel romantic and sexual attraction very strongly, and there's nothing wrong with that. You're the Princess of Friendship, after all."

"But even when I was a unicorn..." Twilight shook her head. "Well, when I was a unicorn, I either had my muzzle stuck in a book or was just trying to figure out how friendship worked. I definitely wasn't ready for anything more. But then Sunset took my crown, I went through the mirror, and..." She trailed off.

"You found yourself drowning in ape hormones," said Dr. Anxiety. "Take it from a shapeshifter, the mind is the plaything of the body. That first shift is always a doozy, especially such a dramatic one."

"I know, I know. We've been over this. And for so long, the sensations I felt while human seemed like something out of a dream on this side of the mirror. But now... Now I think I've actually found the one." Twilight sighed. "And she's taken. And in another universe."

"Ah." Dr. Anxiety refilled the quill and set it to scratching on the notepad once more. "You know, I suspected there might something between you and Sunset."

Twilight looked away. "Um, actually, not Sunset."

"Really? Well, I'm not entirely certain how well the qualities carry over between the two worlds, but I would think that you could at least try to court the lucky human's pony equivalent."

"That's not really an option," said Twilight, her growing blush making her change colors like the dawn sky.

Dr. Anxiety considered this. "One of the princesses?"

"Yes." Twilight brought a hoof to her chest. "Specifically this princess."

"... I see."

"She's just so brilliant!" Twilight cried, her eyes tearing up. "I finally see why Rarity kept saying I was pretty even back before I ascended! And she's so obviously happy with Sunset!"

Deep sighed and got out a box of tissues. She had a feeling they'd be seeing a lot of use.


Sweetie stared at the three girls talking. "...Well. Huh."

"What?" Scootaloo looked between her and the girls. "Oh. Let me guess, crazy future vision you didn't expect?"


Apple Bloom shrugged. "You gotta expect that with them. I mean, Sunset's pretty high on the totem pole these days, the pony Twi's a princess, and all three are certified and certifiable geniuses. Anythin' they talk 'bout is probably—"

"No, it's not like that. It's..." Sweetie paused.

"It's what?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, uh... if certain things happen in certain ways, then Sunset is going to have a very... interesting wedding."

"It's gonna be interestin' anyway," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"No, I mean... VERY interesting." Sweetie coughed. "Six rings interesting."

"Oh." Scootaloo considered those words. "OH! Hmm. Well. Gee. I... hmm."

"...I'm a mite conflicted," Apple Bloom admitted. "It's their life, and Ah guess it could work out—"

"Yeah, they're not at that stage yet," Sweetie Belle agreed. "Some work's going to have to be done, but I think the close interactions will help a lot—"

"It's more 'I'm personally uncomfortable with this' kind of conflict then 'it ain't gonna work' conflict."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Your thing's the past, Bloom. Not saying it ain't useful, but I think this is more a collab between me and Sweetie."

"Right. Right. Ah'll just work on figurin' out those lost caves in Neighvada fer the moment."

"We don't have to talk about it while you're here," Sweetie Belle allowed.

"Nah, nah. It's happened before, it'll happen again. Best Ah get used to the idea."

Scootaloo shrugged. "Wouldn't work for me either, but those three? Yeah sure." She turned to Sweetie Belle. "So, what things need to happen, and when do you need them?"

Author's Note:

All three Crusaders do have some degree of connection with each phase of time, but Apple Bloom sitting this one out is probably advisable. Otherwise, going by paracosmic sympathy, her brother might end up getting involved.

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