Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.
Certain constants persist across all instances of a given person, and one of them is that Twilight Sparkle will always be concerned about tardiness. This particular Twilight could teleport to Canterlot High moments before the first bell… in theory. In practice, that required enough power to leave her giddy, exhausted, and in no condition to pay attention for several class periods. Instead, she rode a bus that got her there a good half an hour before the school day began. Sometimes, she saw faculty driving or flying to work.
Today, she saw Sunset Shimmer repeatedly hitting her head against the Wondercolt statue’s plinth.
Twilight teleported to her side and grabbed her shoulders. “Sunset! Stop! What’s wrong?”
Sunset swung her head forward again, though much more slowly, just resting it against the marble. She sighed. “It’s nothing important. Just really stupid.”
“Are you okay?”
“Fine. Magical reinforcement.”
Twilight felt some tension leave her. “Is it the lawsuit?”
“No, that cleared itself up pretty fast.” Sunset straightened up and ran a glowing hand over the thin cracks in the statue, mending them. She turned around, revealing a wholly unmarred face. “Since no one’s actually drafted any magical laws other than my suggestions and most religions and I have agreed to mutual non-interference—“
“Don’t you fight malicious deities?”
“Yeah, but gods aren’t religions. Point is, no court on the planet would actually rule on the suit. Plus, I still don’t know who filed the thing in the first place.” Sunset grimaced. ”I guess I could find out, but that would be horribly invasive.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Sunset sighed again as she slumped against the statue. “Do you follow my magic safety vlog?”
Twilight sat next to her. “Yes, but I don’t check EweTube that regularly. Why?”
“Well, I’ve covered the most obvious dangers, so I thought it would be a good idea to talk about Equestria. Give people some context, show them a culture that developed with magic and the need to use it responsibly.”
Twilight nodded. “Seems reasonable.”
“Of course, just talking about a place no one’s ever seen wasn’t going to work well, so I included some visual aids. Your counterpart took some photos of towns and ponies that I included in the video.” Sunset gave a tired grin. “You really should watch it. You’d love it.”
“I will. So, what went wrong?”
Sunset tilted her head back and groaned. “I underestimated the stupidity of the Internet.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let me guess: There’s porn.”
That got a snort. “Yeah, but I expected that. See, I also showed everyone what I looked like back home.” Sunset’s headgem lit up, and a three-dimensional illusion of an adorable little unicorn manifested before the two girls, standing at about eye level.
A high-pitched squeak slipped out of Twilight’s mouth. She covered it, but couldn’t hide her wide-eyed wonderment. Her hands muffled her words a bit. “It’s like it’s specifically designed to appeal to the part of my psyche that’s still six years old.”
Sunset chuckled. “Yeah. Though if I went home now, I’d probably be taller and have wings. Still, about forty percent of the comments were about cuteness. Or diabetes, which apparently counts.”
Twilight folded her hands in her lap, gripping her hands in one another so she wouldn’t try to pet the illusion. “So, what went wrong?”
“Well,” said Sunset, bitterness creeping into her voice, “it seems there’s a new branch of Shimmerism now.”
“What?”
“In a matter of hours, people decided they’d rather worship me as a unicorn than me as a human. And this group is calling themselves, I kid you not, ‘The Church of the Divine Bacon Horse.’” Sunset shook her head. “So, yeah. That’s why I’m beating my head against a wall.”
After a few seconds, Twilight said, “Honestly? I’m tempted to join you.”
Inspired by this video review of Sugarcatharsis (Relevant bit starts at 1:36.)
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I'm guessing that Local Lyra either founded or is a member of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse.
At least she didn't find any flat earth type skeptics who would deny the reality of Equestria. Or Trolls. Those are the worst.
A certain Albert Einstein once stated that human stupidity was the only truly infinite component of the universe.
Found a spelling mistake:
"I’m tempted to join
youthem."7555736
Possibly. CHS doesn't have many openly practicing Shimmerists; it's kind of awkward to show your devotion to someone who can and will tell you to knock it off to your face, to say nothing of worshiping a girl who was the school bully less than a year ago. Still, unicorns mean something special to both Lyra and Bonbon, something I'll touch on in a story I have planned for them. (Don't expect it any time soon, though. )
7556038
Troll comments on Sunset's videos have a strange tendency to vanish almost as soon as they're posted. Sunset and Twilight have both denied endowing EweTube with consciousness, but the recommendation algorithms have been getting better lately...
7557905
Twilight is the last person who'd worship Sunset. She considers it her responsibility to make sure Sunset stays as down to earth as she can, much as it's Sunset's responsibility to keep Twilight from building a secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain. (Besides, Twilight already has a half-pony, half-monkey monster.)
>.>
Sign me up.
7558613
If it got rid of the worst kinds of comments on videos, I think I might be for something like that...
Mostly I would worry that if a video hosting site developed consciousness, the world of Terminator would appear VERY quickly.
7558613 The way i see it any Shimmerists at CHS have a mental disconnect between Sunset the person and Sunset the goddess in much the same way you have if a childhood friend became a Rock Star, Movie Star or PotUS (The former bully is the person you knew and the Goddess is her public persona,). Being a follower of the "Divine Bacon Horse" rather than human form Sunset Shimmer would simply make things easier.
I admit - I laughed out loud. Well done!
Best. Church. EVER!
7558613
Somehow I imagine the openly practicing Shimmerists at CHS are all huge trolls (while also being serious about what she actually stands for) who keep coming up with sillier rituals to mess with her and flanderizing anything she does until she scatters them like bowling pins and they have to come up with a new joke. It'd be annoying while also keeping her grounded.
7604196
Thus were created the Sunset Satanists, who consider it their solemn duty to annoy the crap out of their goddess.
Yeah...I don't blame Sunset here.
7604376 Most gods would destroy you if you annoyed them. Sunset would just scatter the group and laugh about the jokes later.
I feel linking to the group so-named is appropriate: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211581/the-church-of-the-divine-bacon-horse
but I am not affiliated with that group.
7555736 No that would Literally be me......
I did the Review in the author notes
This is where it began. I bet Ruby's chapter is coming up soon.
Speaking as a born-and-raised Southern Babtist, this is the best sentence ever and I might steal it.
9694094
See here for Ruby's first explicit appearance in the anthology, here for the quick and dirty synopsis of she got the position, here for Bacon Academy, and here for the theological impact of Pinkie.
For the record, I just download the .txt file on a fairly regular basis so I can comb through the whole mess.
7604196
Her friends leading the charge