• Published 1st Apr 2016
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Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Strangers in a Strange Land, by Thought Prism

The western Badlands were aptly named. With rain being as scarce there as Pinkie was hyperactive, the area was perpetually dry. Cracks permeated the sun-scorched earth, and only the hardiest of life forms could survive there, magic or not.

It was in that inhospitable place, with nigh but tumbleweeds for company, did something wholly unusual happen. Without warning, a jagged portal appeared, and two men stepped through the gash.

The first had the grizzled expression of a hardened warrior, with a five-o’clock shadow to match. He wore tan and lavender robes, their edges lined with fur, under a navy blue half-cape. His long black hair was streaked with grey, and pinned in place by a pewter hairpiece. A straight scabbard rested on his belt.

The second had the bearing and appearance of an aristocrat, composed and in control. His robes were blue, decorated with patterns of falling snow that matched his pristine white hair. In his hand was an elaborate smoking pipe, and on his head sat an equally elaborate diadem of silver and crystal.

Both took stock of their surroundings. His brow furrowing, the man with the pipe took a long puff and sighed. “Well,” he began, “This place looks—“

However, he was cut off. Because Sunset Shimmer had seen the wound in spacetime along with the two men who appeared from it, and only just now finished politely excusing herself from band practice with the girls.

Naturally, when she manifested herself directly in front of the pair, arms crossed in frustration, they were rather shocked.

“Woah!” the swordsman exclaimed, leaping to the side with his hand poised to draw.

“—promising,” the aristocrat finished. Then, he blinked at Sunset. “Why, hello there. What, may I ask, is a fine young lady such as yourself doing in a place like this?”

That’s what you ask first?” said the swordsman, no longer reeling. “Not ‘how did you just appear out of nowhere?’ or even ‘do you need some ointment for your massive sunburns?’”

Sunset groaned. “I should be the one asking you questions. Considering you two kinda just tore a gaping hole in the fabric of the universe. Which, I might add, I’ve been working very hard to hold together 24/7.”

The swordsman scratched his nose and thought for a moment. “Oh, so you’re some kind of god, then? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“I don’t like to think so, but that is the common consensus, yes,” Sunset replied, still unamused. “My name is Sunset Shimmer. I watch over this world, and protect it from magical threats. That said, I’m going to assume you are one unless you can convince me otherwise.”

The swordsman’s face paled a bit, and he glanced over to the aristocrat. “What should I do?” he asked.

The aristocrat waved his hand noncommittally. “I couldn’t say. I’m just a spectator here, after all.”

The swordsman sighed. “Well, I’m Shāng Bù Huàn, and this guy next to me goes by Lǐn Xuě Yā. And we’re, uhh, looking for a safe place.”

Sunset’s eyebrow rose. “Really, now? Define ‘safe place’ for me.”

“You know,” began Bù Huàn, “a world without any crazy villians or demon lords. Somewhere secure.”

“We’re refugees,” said Xuě Yā.

Sunset made a show of sizing up the both of them. Bù Huàn looked uneasy. “Yeah, not buying it,” she said. “If that’s the case, why are there only two of you?”

“Stop lying all the time, Xuě Yā!” exclaimed Bù Huàn. “You made it worse!”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to try and tell this woman the truth,” he replied calmly. “If she is lying, we could be dooming thousands by believing her. And if she isn’t, she may smite us for our insolence.”

“I don’t know why I put up with you…” Bù Huàn muttered to himself.

Sunset cleared her throat. “Why are you actually here?”

Bù Huàn scratched his nose again. “The short answer? I’m trying to get rid of a bunch of powerful magic swords I don’t want falling into the wrong hands.”

“Magic swords,” repeated Sunset. “In plural?”

Xuě Yā nodded. “I believe he has thirty-five in his possession at the moment. Each one is capable of slayings gods and demons alike.”

Sunset’s jaw slowly dropped.

“So, now you know,” said Bù Huàn. “After we look around here for a while, and if it turns out this world of yours actually is safe, I was thinking you could find a good place to put them. Maybe? It would be a huge relief.”

Sunset snapped. “I am not letting you offload thirty-five god slaying swords here!”

“Actually, he’d be keeping the Infinity Carver, so thirty-four,” noted Xuě Yā. “We’d require that one if the need to return here arose.”

“Like that makes a difference?” shouted Sunset. “Yeah, still a no.”

“What? Why not?” Bù Huàn asked, frowning. “They can be useful, otherwise I would have just destroyed them all already.”

Sunset facepalmed. “Look, Bù Huàn, was it? I’m sure they are quite useful. But I pretty much am a god; you think I’d be comfortable keeping them around? Not only that, Earth, the world you’re on right now, already has far too much extradimensional magic for comfort. If these swords of yours are as dangerous as you say, just bringing them here might end up adding enough energy to destabilize reality enough that it becomes beyond my ability to fix. Then the universe would implode.”

Bù Huàn blanched. “Uhh…”

This prompted an identical reaction in Sunset. “Oh Celestia, you brought them all here with you.”

“It’s ok!” he assured. “Eh, probably. They’re all bound in a sealing scroll, and the scroll is locked within my qi.”

Sunset sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. For a second there, I thought their magic was so foreign I couldn’t sense them, and that our doom approached as we spoke.”

Bù Huàn chuckled awkwardly.

“So,” said Xuě Yā suddenly, “I take it you’d wish us to leave immediately?”

“That would be ideal, yes,” agreed Sunset, nodding.

Bù Huàn shook his head. “It’s always something or other with these extradimensional realms. I’m starting to think we should have just stayed in Dōng Lí.”

“Oh, it’s not all bad,” said Xuě Yā. “I did just have the pleasure of utterly humiliating a giant, mallet-wielding penguin not two hours ago, after all.”

Bù Huàn rolled his eyes at that. “Speak for yourself, why don’t you?”

Sunset tapped her foot impatiently. “Less banter, more exiting, please.”

“Right. Sorry. Let’s go, Xuě Yā.”

With that, the two of them stepped back towards the portal, their garments fluttering in the dry winds. About thirty seconds after they passed though, it stitched itself shut from the other side.

Sunset took a deep breath, confirming with her senses that the damage was completely reversed. Then, an idea popped into her head, which she then voiced aloud to better cement internally. “Hmm. Maybe I could have Ditzy track those two down if the angst monsters ever become too much to handle. But for now, it’s back to shredding some strings.”

She then vanished, and the Badlands were once again empty.

Author's Note:

I never planned to contribute to this originally, but once I get a good idea, it itches to be born. So have a silly crossover. That said, I shall give a box of internet cookies to anyone who actually recognizes where these characters are from.

~ Thought Prism

Personally, I haven't the slightest clue. Though if you're wondering how those two got past Ms. Harshwhinny, the answer is obvious. They cut in line. :trollestia:

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