Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

Twichotomy, by FoME

Author's Note:

This one takes place several years after the majority of the stories in this setting thus far.

The rainbow of Harmony didn’t feel how Storm Surge had expected it to. The light stung her eyes, leaving inverted spectra when she shut them. A constant prickling like an unreachable itch swept across her whole body, especially around her neck as it tugged at the Alicorn Amulet. The Amulet’s silent screams in her third ear didn’t help. (Really, it was being a big baby about the whole event. Even Harmony couldn't undo the latch if she didn't let it.)

Most interesting of all was the sensation that wasn’t there. No sense of guilt or remorse imposed itself on Storm’s mind, which just confirmed her suspicion that Princess Luna had been a weakling beneath the Nightmare’s bluster.

As the radiance faded, and with it the tornadoes she had summoned to level Ponyville, Storm got to her hooves, emphasizing every bodily tremor and keeping her wings limp. She even stumbled like a newborn foal a few times, just like she’d practiced.

“Land’s sakes…” said Applejack, and Storm held back a grin. Failing to plan was planning to fail, as the saying went, but actually planning for failure never hurt.

She turned the chuckle that threatened to betray her into a coughing sob and, still averting her eyes, said, “I’m so sorry! When I was a filly—”

Another, sharper pain interrupted Storm, like something had bitten and burned through her left ear at the same time. She clapped a hoof over it, words slipping out before she could think about them. “Gah! What the mule-rutting buck!?”

“Twilight, we’ve talked about this.” Fluttershy didn’t sound afraid, which must have been a rarity for her. She just seemed… disappointed?

“And when someone’s actually contrite after we blast them, I won’t shoot.”

Finally, Storm looked up. That had been the princess’s voice, yes, but the tone had been wrong. Rather than the insufferable serenity she’d heard in newsreels and radio broadcasts, this had been… not cruel, but annoyed. As though the righteous crusade to raise pegasi to their proper place was just an inconvenience for the princess to deal with.

Except that this wasn’t the princess.

Storm hadn’t gotten a good view of the surface as she’d led her vortices forward, just the rainbow rising up to meet her. Now she took in a human, a rare sight indeed in Cloudsdale. Even the ones who aped pegasus flight couldn’t manage cloudwalking. She—it was probably a mare going by the voice—also wore a full suit of armor the same color as Storm’s indigo coat and hefted a small cannon that definitely didn’t shoot parties. The business end still had a faint red glow, presumably after firing whatever had hit Storm’s ear.

“Hello,” said the human. “You were probably expecting Princess Twilight. Unfortunately, Princess Twilight is currently at a peace summit on the other side of the planet, and even if she weren’t, leaving would offend at least five other nations. She also created a form for scheduling coups and rampages specifically to avoid this kind of thing.”

Storm sneered. No sense maintaining the facade if the mare with the artillery piece didn’t believe it. She’d have already fled if the rainbow hadn’t left her genuinely exhausted. “I’m not going to sweep away her decadent regime at her convenience.”

The human shook her head. “It’s not for her convenience. It’s for your safety.” She pressed a few buttons at the base of her neck. The armor’s helmet folded into the rest of it, revealing a head with a pale lavender complexion, a weak facsimile of a unicorn horn, a bizarre visor across the eyes, and a short-cropped mane with an all-too-familiar two-tone streak. “Because when Princess Twilight can’t make it, you get Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer.

“Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer also has other things she’d rather be doing than acting as a focus for Harmony magic. Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer has a Paradiamond-powered vocal analysis algorithm that, to use the local vernacular, can tell when you’re dropping horse apples out the wrong end.” Various parts of the cannon began to glow and spin. An ominous hum began low enough to feel in Storm’s bones and steadily rose in pitch. “And Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer is much a bigger believer in the power of coherent plasma as a reformation tool.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes “Going a little heavy on the Trixie there, Twi.”

“Fool!” cried Pinkie Pie, wearing thick glasses and a lab coat. “She’ll show us all!”

Telekinesis constricted around Storm’s barrel. “You’ll want to take off the Amulet, darling.” She hadn’t even noticed Rarity moving behind her. “She only fires the one warning shot.”

Storm did so with all due haste, despite the Amulet’s continuing screams. The corrupting power of infinite magic was one thing. A cannon that was now making a sound she could feel in her teeth was quite another.

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

Storm did so with all due haste, despite the Amulet’s continuing screams. The corrupting power of infinite magic was one thing. A cannon that was now making a sound she could feel in her teeth was quite another.

A wise choice.

[Dark Feather]

11584105
Weraly.

[Herald of Opera]

Some villains will actually listen to reason. Very few will ignore their own self-preservation instincts. Queen Chrysalis could manage that. Storm Surge, you are no Queen Chrysalis.

[Thought Prism]

Sometimes you need to offer a carrot. Other times, you need a very advanced stick.

[Eroraf86]

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As Teddy Roosevelt said, "Speak softly and carry a big stick." A sufficiently advanced stick will solve most problems.

[Charlie Gordon]

"Y'know, Twi, we can probably get you something a little more energy-efficient."

"I like the soothing sounds this one makes."

[Bookwurm666]

“Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer also has other things she’d rather be doing than acting as a focus for Harmony magic. Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer has a Paradiamond-powered vocal analysis algorithm that, to use the local vernacular, can tell when you’re dropping horse apples out the wrong end.” Various parts of the cannon began to glow and spin. An ominous hum began low enough to feel in Storm’s bones and steadily rose in pitch. “And Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer is much a bigger believer in the power of coherent plasma as a reformation tool.”

she is willing to teach humility 45mm at a time.

[Speckle]

Where was Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer when the G5 Timeline needed her, I wonder?

In any case, I love it Really. Seriously, you make the best timelines ever

[Herald of Opera]

11584859
Locked out by the Ebb of Magic, presumably. May even have intentionally closed the portal to make sure it couldn't spill over into her own universe.

[Bugsydor]

11584246
I, too, was reminded of this strip.

[Fionn]

Dash is right SciTwi was channeling her inner Trixie a bit to much.

[A.P.O.N.I.]

11587032
Nope. Juuust the right amount.

[Revel Montaro]

OMINOUS HUMMMMMMMM......