• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 2,660 Views, 2,411 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

  • ...

Lemon Pledge, by Masterweaver
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"Yo! Auntie Abby!"

"Do you enjoy detention, Miss Zest?"

"It's a time to meditate over my faults, but your whacked out division of familial and student-teacher interactions ain't what I'm here for."

"Neither is proper grammar, apparently."

"No, I'm here to raise an objection to the current mandate of Crystal High, in regards to extracurricular activities."


"Yes. I have here a list of protestations to a select announcement that has just been made to the student body, and of course a number of rational and well thought out arguments against said decision, but I feel that I should summarize my position and attempt to clarify the reasoning behind the issue at hand in a single question: Why the harmony-loving fuck have you made Friendship Game tryouts mandatory?!"


"Before you ask, yes, coming up with 'harmony-loving fuck' was the hard part in all this. Proper swear for a proper situation."

"...While I disagree with the phrasing of your question, Miss Zest, I somehow doubt you care about such reprimands."

"And of course, I will not be deterred from an actual answer."

"Very well... This school seeks to not only educate the best students, but to ensure they are capable of operating in the real world, a world that only cares for their ability, accomplishment, and associations. The Friendship Games are a culmination of that ideal. Not only do we show our ability, and achieve great accomplishments, but through such demonstrations we can become associated with a higher standard in the minds of those outside our school. Ergo, seeking out the most qualified students is a prerogative that—"

"The social pressure this applies to the student body is beyond that of the usual school tests! Those who are virtually guaranteed to have a position now have to worry about some new savant overriding their place, those who usually wouldn't care now have to work one of the tryouts into their schedule, and those who do care will make it into a competition: how many tryouts, how many did you win, that sort of thing! Not to mention those that don't want to be part of a public spectacle and will be forced to anyway—"

"Discomfort with social climbing, either of the self or others, will only lead to long-term detriment. The world has undergone a new paradigm, Miss Zest, and quick adaptation is now necessary for success and survival."

"Oh, so this is about showing up the super-magic-girl, is it? You know that a couple of the students here actually worship her? That is a major conflict of interests, they'll flat out drop out if they have to face her!"

"If they cannot accept the challenge, that is their own prerogative. Aside from which, I have been... personally assured that Miss Shimmer has refused to participate."

"Makes sense. But... mandatory tryouts? Across the whole school? For a one-day competition?"

"I have explained my reasoning."

"And you have ignored mine."

"You are entirely welcome to leave the school. I know you have been uncomfortable here for quite some time, and as sad as I would be to see you go—"

"Don't give me that crap. You don't care about me, you just want my grades. And I'm not going to leave anyway."


"Yeah. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on the team's emotional state. And it sure as hell won't be you, will it?"

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