• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 8,049 Views, 4,429 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything



Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

  • ...
26
 4,429
 8,049

PreviousChapters Next
The Wisdom of Fools, by Masterweaver (Sex)

"SEX! SEX EVERYWHERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHshpffblrgalwaaaaaaa— pfft-pfffff..."

The now thoroughly soaked Lemon Zest gave Sunny Flare a flat look.

"Not everybody thinks about sex—"

"I highly doubt that!"

"—all the time."

"That's far more likely," Lemon allowed. "Still, kind of a big deal, given that it was pretty much the way to create life for most of known history, and also kind of fun."

"You're a virgin."

"And how do you know that?"

Sunny half-smiled. "I have my ways."

"Oh-ho-ho! So Flare Bear does have a saucy side!" The drenched Lemon Zest scooted close to the other girl. "So tell me, oh wise one..."

She pressed her chest close to the other's shoulder.

"...can you teach this humble soul the intimate ways of the carnal arts?"

Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. "If you're trying to get a rise out of me, you'll be sadly disappointed."

"What, you straight?"

"No, I just have a very low libido."

"Oh that I can definitely believe. A sopping wet hot chick on your shoulder and you don't even blush?"

"Sopping wet, I'll grant you."

"HEY!"

"You know we're in public, right?" Sunny gave her a look. "And that your mother will probably hear about this?"

"Eh, like she can stop me. Worst she can do is cut me off."

Sunny Flare's eyebrow rose. "That's generally a very bad thing."

"Yeeeeeeees," Lemon drawled, "because money is totes necessary for stuff like shelter, right? But I have a secret I want to tell you."
She looked left. She looked right. She leaned in.

"Money is worthless without people."

"Right, yes, its value only exists because society—"

"No no no, you don't get it. Let me put it another way." Lemon leaned back. "You know the phrase 'Money is power?' I prefer to say 'Money is power translated.' Power can be translated a lot of ways—through money, through military, through magic, through knowledge and study and science—but there is only one real source of power."

"Sunset Shimmer?"

"People." Lemon shrugged. "Sunset is also people, mind, but she's not the only people."

Sunny Flare paused for a moment or two. "...That is actually remarkably deep, now that I think about it."

"Aha! You see, I can do smart!"

"You just choose not to so people underestimate you."

"And so they don't exploit me."

"So, what?" Sunny asked. "Your mom cuts you off, and...?"

"I ask Sugarcoat to house me for a week or two while I look for an apartment. I ask Jet Set to put in a good word for me at some local business, so I can get a job. Maybe I ask one of the other members of the church for charity every once in a while. They do it, because I've made sure--absolutely sure--that I'm worth their time and effort."

"And if they don't?"

Lemon shrugged. "Then you're going to get to see me as a pauper begging at your doorstep for bread."

Sunny snorted. "Why my doorstep?"

"Figured you'd get a kick out of it."

"...I might, at that..."

PreviousChapters Next