• Published 1st Apr 2016
  • 3,581 Views, 3,021 Comments

Group Precipitation - FanOfMostEverything

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

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Dearly Demi-Departed, by ArtieStroke

"Cadence, one of these days you're really gonna have to break out the actual family tree or something," Shining Armor said, trying to bring a little levity to the somewhat uncomfortably grim ride. To his credit, that at least got a small chuckle from her.

"Honestly more of a family grove at this point."

The car rolled to a stop, and the two of them crossed the wrought-iron threshold into the Crystal City Cemetery, a bouquet in in Cadence's arms. It wasn't some dark and dreary day; the weather seemed to developing a sense for dramatic flair at times, but not today. Stopping in front of a headstone, Cadence placed the flowers down on the soft earth.

April 20, 1985- June 23, 2003
Beloved Daughter and Sister

"So, older cousin, huh?"

Cadence nodded, sighing, "Adopted, of course. Auntie Celestia's always been one to bring in children, even before becoming a teacher."

Shining Armor nodded back, folding his arms across his chest. "Would it be too grim to ask how she, uh, well..."

Cadence shook her head, letting out a single chuckle, "No, I mean- it's the obvious question. With the absolute dumbest answer."

She took in a breath, holding it for a moment before releasing, "Crushed by a piece of satellite debris, from the space station. Toilet seat, actually."

Shining Armor gave her a look.

"I am dead serious."

"That's..." Shining Armor tried to pick his words carefully, before shaking his head, "I got nothing."

Nodding and wiping her eyes, Cadence put a hand on her fiance's shoulder. "That's probably for the best."

Tiller, though she preferred to go by Tilly, blew a raspberry as she watched her little practically-a-sister get all weird and emotional at her grave.

"Come on, at least let him know how much of a little brat you were!" she called down, but in her current state she knew they couldn't hear her.

"You have enough there, peanut?" said Ruben, her "boss," who was more like a manager.

Tilly groaned. "This sucks."

"Yeah, well, that's death for you. Come on, I've got sticky notes to hand out, soon-to-be-dead souls to shuffle along, and a waffle with my name on it."

Tilly groaned, reluctantly following Ruben away from the cemetery, "I don't even want this! Stupid magic, stupid afterlife. I was getting along just fine before all of this."

"Can't always get what you want, peanut."

It really did suck, being dead like her.

Author's Note:

This is basically one big voice actress joke. Canonicity uncertain; I have some plans for Celestia that won't line up well with this.

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