• Member Since 17th Sep, 2012

Crude Dude


When i rule the world, i will reenact Nero's reign; the survivors will be given cookies.

Completed favorites 25 stories
  • Completed favorites 25 stories stories I'm going to favorite later, after I've finished them, so that they font clog up my inbox
    Created by Crude Dude
    - December, 2014
Found 23 stories in 68ms

Total Words: 2,627,199
Estimated Reading: 1 week

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This story is a sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder


Schadenfreude is a simple pony. He enjoys the little things. Taking up as much room on an elevator as he likes. Sleeping through movies. And being a general annoyance to everyone around him.Of course, this leads to everyone around him disliking him on principle. Which only makes him smile wider.

After one too many "incidents" at his normal job, his employer takes it upon himself to "volunteer" him to work at the castle. As a butler.

For Prince Blueblood.

You can imagine the kind of shenanigans he gets up to now.


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See that [Incomplete] tag below? Yeah. It's happening.

You asked for it. Sequel to Schadenfreude 2: Schadenfreude Harder, and the train wreck that started it all, Schadenfreude.

(New cover art by the fantastic TodayIWriteFanfics!)

Chapters (24)
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Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

Chapters (88)
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On a dark night filled with even darker magics, an insane cult attempts to give Nightmare Moon a body and life of her own, utterly separate from Princess Luna. But, when the spell is interrupted by Celestia, something unexpected is created.

Now, a little black alicorn filly named Nyx finds herself living under the care of Twilight Sparkle, only to be haunted by memories and emotions from her past. Is she Nightmare Moon reborn or is she simply a doppelganger with a soul and mind of her own? Can Twilight Sparkle protect Nyx from those who refuse to see past her dragon eyes and black coat?

Or, will Nyx be forced to inherit the sins that may not even be hers and become the greatest evil Equestria has ever known?

Chapters (22)
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[Featured on EQD 21/4/2014] [Now on TVTropes]

When Luna gifts Twilight the town of Ponyville and its surrounding countryside as her demesne she's initially confused. Then, after double checking her dictionary, more than a little concerned.

All her friends are, legally, her possessions. The town that took her in is her plaything, if she so wishes. She has been given responsibility.

Can Twilight's vision for a modern renaissance outrun the harsh realities of the shadowy figures pulling strings behind the scenes, nobles jockeying for her attention, and an irritatingly metaphorical love triangle?

Special thanks to the insatiable Blue_Paladin42, the incorrigible Maskedferret, the intuitive Southpaw and the indestructible newbiedoodle for all their hard work, past, present and future.

Chapters (10)
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After the changelings' failed invasion of Canterlot, Twilight tries to soothe some of Ponyville's rampant paranoia by casting a spell to prove there are no imposters hiding in the town. But her spell leaves her in an alien body, facing a mob of angry ponies who just don't believe her when she says she is Twilight Sparkle.

Or, at least, she was Twilight Sparkle, anyway...

Featured on Equestria Daily, 2/17/13
Cover art is by the awesome and amazing Conicer

Chapters (9)
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In the wake of Chrysalis' failed invasion, a different hive breaks tradition and steps into the light to open relations with Equestria. The ever eager scholar, Twilight Sparkle, uses this truce as the perfect opportunity to learn more about this enigmatic race. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, she will learn all there is to know about what it means to be a changeling.

But will Twilight lose herself in the hive, or will she regain what she has lost? Only time will tell.




Featured on 9/24/13

My first featured story! You guys are awesome.

Story readings and cover art by Luminescent Skies: Click here for some audio novel treatment

My Editor in Chief: Cloud Hop

Chapters (11)
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After Big Macintosh helps the Mane Six out of a jam, he finds his ordinary life of
peaceful routine thoroughly disrupted by the various misadventures those crazy
ponies always seem to get themselves into.

Artwork provided by the talented Zemious

Chapters (20)
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Everything changes for Twilight Sparkle and her friends when a mysterious extraterrestrial ship crash lands in Equestria. When Twilight messes around in the ship's systems with her magic, she ends up transported to an alien world unlike anything she imagined: a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

To get home, Twilight must enlist the help of the eccentric Red and Blue soldiers that live there... if she can get them to stop bickering first! Additionally, she finds herself being pursued by the enigmatic military agency known only as Project Freelancer. Back in Equestria, all is not well for Twilight's friends as forces involved with the crashed ship make themselves known. Reds, Blues and ponies will all have to work together to discover the mysterious connection between Equestria and Project Freelancer.

A crossover with Red vs Blue. Written with the intention for the story to be followable without having watched the series. (just don't expect to get all the references).

Now with editors! BradtheBrony and Rough_Draft.

I made a blog post explaining things. You should read it.

TvTropes Page.

Chapters (38)
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Twelve thousand years ago, humanity was driven into a war with an unknown enemy. Fire rained from the heavens and the sky turned dark as the sun dimmed. Acid poured from the clouds and a plague was unleashed upon mankind: A virus that caused men to turn on one another. A disease that forced man to fall to his knees and beg for mercy. A pathogen that ravaged man’s civilization.

And when humanity lost all chances of reconciliation, all hope of keeping their loved ones safe, they pulled the plug, three hundred souls left Earth while sacrificing their only home to the angel of the enemy.

In the twelve millennia since the Great War, all traces of humanity have been wiped from the surface of the Earth. In man’s rightful place now are a multitude of sapient species. For twelve thousand years, these animals have lived in peace and harmony, man reduced to nothing more than but a myth, a folk tale, a legend.

But word has spread across the countryside. Word of forgotten beasts that still walk the western wastelands. Creatures able to bend the world to their will without the help of magic. Creatures said to be older than time itself.

Teen for language, and dark moments. Character tags will be added as the story progresses

Chapters (26)
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Banished from Whiterun by Jarl Balgruuf at the High Queen's orders, and after a long voyage across the Sea of Ghosts and the Padomaic Ocean, Heimskr the Doomsayer has suddenly spotted mysterious new land on the horizon.

Equestria's public gathering places may now be under threat from a force far more annoying or foul than Discord, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon combined.

Chapters (6)