Chapter 35: Eye Five!
“I must say, this is one of the more mellow dates I’ve been on,” Celestia admitted, a confident grin widening on her cheeks as she whacked at her cricket ball with her bat. “I’m hitting balls instead of monsters, aliens, or even… well, the two aren’t exactly as mutually exclusive now that I think about it.”
The Fifth Doctor frowned as he was unsuccessful in catching or even stopping her ball. “You never told me you were any good at cricket.”
Celestia giggled, swinging her cricket bat around at her side with relaxed ease. “When you’re stuck as royalty for for hundreds of years, you pick up a thing or two about the game. What about you, Doctor? If I’m not mistaken, you’re losing right now.”
“Overconfidence shall be your downfall, my dear,” the Fifth said, dribbling on his chin with his fingers. He was dressed to impress for the game itself, wearing less than traditional cricket gear of a cream-colored frock coat and cashmere shirt with ridiculously striped pants. This Doctor had an affinity for question marks on the collar of his shirt and a celery stalk of all things attached to his coat, which Celestia had to resist snacking on upon their first meeting. He was certainly the youngest amongst his incarnations, his face bright with youth and his hair still retaining its blonde color.
Celestia smiled, circling around the Doctor as she took a glance at the dismal turn of the game on the Doctor’s part by the indication of his ever increasing frown. “It isn’t overconfidence when the opponent has none of his own.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong, Celestia,” the Doctor said, “for I have the utmost confidence in my ability to excel at this game.”
“Of which I’m losing at.”
“Of which I am temporarily losing at.”
Celestia giggled again, staring up at her surroundings. They were in an open field, the skies covered in clouds yet did not appear dreary, while mountain ranges could be seen in the distance. A few trees yielding no leaves could be spotted, along with outcroppings of rocks and even a nearby abandoned castle.
“So, why do you call this place the Eye of Orion?” she asked.
“Well, it’s the eye of tranquility, for starters. The Orion part can be likened to the reason of its planetary position or something along those lines,” he answered, leaning on his cricket bat.
“It’s just so peaceful here. Like all my troubles are melting away.” Celestia sighed, taking in a deep breath of air while closing her eyes. “Fresh air, cool breezes, I just can’t believe it. It’s like any problem I’ve been having just disappears.” Taking another deep breath, Celestia grin widened. “Ah, just smell that… gasoline?”
“I do believe that’s dangerous to do, my dear,” the Doctor said with a chuckle.
Celestia shook her head and opened her eyes, glancing over her shoulder. “No, I smell gasoline. I remember that the scent comes from cars. But there shouldn’t be any here, shouldn’t there?”
The Doctor tugged on his color and was about to reply when a tractor appeared climbing up the hill with a very displeased rider sporting a bushy mustache that had stolen all the hair from atop his head.
“Hey, you bunch of wankers, get off my private property!” the man yelled, his voice thicker than even the most prudish of stallions from Stalliongrad. “Shod off before I get the constable on your arses!”
“Doctor…” Celestia said.
“Okay… I may have been untruthful just a smidge about this being the Eye of Orion.” The Doctor shrugged, kicking his foot into the dirt. “It’s actually just Wales on a wet weekend. Which is actually just every weekend. And every day.”
Celestia held back a groan, sighed, then rubbed at her muzzle. “Any particular reason for deceiving me?”
The Doctor gave her a half-hearted grin and showed her a coin in between his fingers. “Coin toss. I’m having navigational troubles with the TARDIS and Wales was the only option. It was either tell you the truth or tell you a very convincing lie. Of course, cricket was attached to both proposals.”
“You let a coin toss decide what you do?”
The Doctor shrugged again. “You can’t really expect me to decide, now can you? When I am plagued by indecision, a simple coin toss is the best solution to any problem.”
Celestia opened her mouth, but then closed it as her eyes slowly widened. “Wait a second… that could be just what I’m looking for!”
The Doctor blinked. “It is?”
“Every decision I make so far has usually ended me in a variety of horrible events. But if I had a coin to blame, that’d curb my alcohol problems for sure!”
“I don’t really think that’s the wisest decision to make…”
“Hey, are you two gonna shod off or what?” the portly man atop the tractor asked.
The Doctor pointed to Celestia. “You don’t even care there’s a talking unicorn with wings here?”
“I’ve seen stranger stuff happen with the sheep after a couple drinks at the local pub.”
The Doctor nodded, tossing his coin nonchalantly in the air. “Oh right, I nearly forgot, you’re a Welsh.”
With a sneaky swipe, Celestia grabbed ahold of the Doctor’s coin. Laughing maniacally to herself as the last traces of her mind broke again (gluing them back together was becoming more and more taxing each time), Celestia held the coin up in the air in victory. “Finally, all the awful decisions in the world shall no longer be my problem!” Flipping the coin up in the air, Celestia said, “Heads I continue this date, tails I use my own time traveling device to beat a hasty retreat!”
It landed on tails.
“Now, please, there’s no need to—” the Doctor shielded his eyes, blinking rapidly when he realized Celestia was no longer where she had previously stood. The Welshman, of course, was barely retaining his consciousness and paid no mind to anything that was going on.
The Doctor returned his hands to his pockets and sighed. “Well, there goes my coin. And my date. And my game of cricket.” Looking up at the eternally grey sky, he asked, “Could this get any worse?”
Looking down abruptly, he grimaced. “Actually, could this get any worse for Celestia? She still hadn’t changed the time parameters to her device, which means prehistoric age again. You think by now she would've learned.”
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Aw, is Tia gonna end up dating a Dino? XD
4802267
THE ONLY KING OF ANY KIND OF DINOS!!!
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..This is going to end with Celestia murdering at least one Doctor, isn't it.
The fifth Doctor shouldn't suck at cricket, he played for New South Wales, if I remember correctly.
Celestia is really losing it.
I'd love to see Skinner Sweet from American Vampire. Mainly to see her reaction to a vamp of the sun.
4802365 Sorry if I get a bit peeved here sir but... READ THE FIRST CHAPTERS FIRST YA DUMMY! HES BEEN AROUND FOR THE WHOLE TIME
Sorry.
Okay I've never read this, but seriously how many times has this been featured? Makes me really wanna read it ._.
4802365
Have you read the earlier chapters?
4802365 Seriously dude? They've already done Deadpool, that's why he's a reoccurring character now. And yeah his reaction is pretty hilarious.
4802316 Considering her fraying patience and sanity, the next one might drive her over the edge. And the sad thing is, being speared on Celestia's horn would still be a more dignified death than what Six actually got...
4802300
ME GRIMLOCK! ME DATE PUNY PONY PRINCESS! ME HATE STUPID TIE STUPID MONKEY MAKE GRIMLOCK WEAR!
4802503
It's okay!
Something tells me Celestia's going to regret relying on that coin.
4802316
No... no... no...
nephthysseries.hautetfort.com/media/00/02/3302487420.gif
Do prince loki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As an Aussie myself, I must agree. Cricket is boring shit. You'd do better with rugby.
Speaking of the Doctor, is she going to murder the Sixth Doctor? He was kind of an asshole, I believe.
Silly Celestia, you can't be Two-Face or else Batman will have to arrest you!
HERESY! The Inquisition for Commitment to Cricket (ICC) will punish unbelievers such as yourself!
Honestly, when I read "Eye Five!" I was thinking "Johnny Five is alive!" from the movie Short Circuit.
Had completely forgotten you were doing the Doctors.
4803047
He must be American! And like they have a right to talk with regular season baseball!
Though I'm American, and I played baseball and still enjoy it, though it's far less of a watchable sport. I just prefer football and football to it, but come postseason, only the one where you use your feet and a ball stands a chance at getting me to watch it over baseball playoffs.
4803047
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Yeah, I don't think she's gonna last very long with Doctor number 6
Isn't he the most emotionally unstable of his many incarnations? 
You know...After you get through all the Doctors, you should have her date Groot. He's immortal. As long as a twig survives that can be replanted.
I have no idea how one goes about playing two-player cricket. It would be slightly like two-player baseball, though Calvin and Hobbes made that kind of work...
4802322
He probably let her win, hence his confidence.
Hey, I lived in Wales and... ok, you're right about it.
That's an oxymoron my dear spongy friend.
Ah, shitty weather in Wales. Reminds me of a song, bit of a tune for a more over-reaching monarchy.
"Oh the weather outside is shit."
"Welcome to the life of a brit."
Never got any further. Don't think I really need to. Weather's shit in that entire region.
4802365 I was the one who first suggested Deadpool. Seeing as he's a regular character now, I guess you could say I've had a lasting impact on this fic.
4802300 YES
Like the little change of pace here with a calmer chapter. However, what about GEOM? I really like Dating Of a Godly Varity and it has not updated in a while. any plans to change that?
4804520 I am sure Groot would impress Celestia with is exceptional poetry skills and massive wood.
Oh boy.
4821731 Yes. His poetry skills would certainly impress her.
Groot: I am Groot.
Celestia: Yes. I got that the first twenty times.
Groot: I am Groot.
Celestia: I'm gonna need more wine.
I could never let a coin decide for me over whether to stay with Five or not. He's such a bae ♥
I've read partial rules for cricket, and find the idea of the game interesting in an existential sort of way.