Celestia was grinning ear to ear; out of all the dates she had been on this was easily the best. It all started when her date arrived at the castle far earlier than she expected, granted it was a welcome surprise, on account she normally met her dates at the restaurant they agreed upon. Since they had plenty of time before the date he offered to take her out in the world, she could hardly resist the offer, especially when he had such a charming smile. Little did she know at the time he literally meant the world.
Within minutes they were in the royal dancing hall of Atlantis, having a grand old time with one of his closest and oldest friends. Soon after they went to the island of Themyscira, where she was given the finest sword she had ever seen as a gift just for visiting. Finally, they watched the northern lights flicker in and out on the top of the world, just outside his so called ‘fortress’ made completely out of the finest crystals she had ever laid eyes on. The two were having such a good time with one another that they had both completely forgotten about the reservation they had made back in Canterlot. Fortunately for them however, he managed to get them to the restaurant with just seconds to spare.
Despite the miniature adventure her date had brought her on, Celestia had a great deal of interest in his more physical features, from his jet black hair, soft blue eyes, and strong chin; he was everything that any girl could want. Then there were his manners; she’d never met a male of any species so polite. When he arrived at the castle he actually apologized for being early of all things. She could barely wrap her head around just how perfect he was.
“I must say, Superman,” she said, smiling heavily as she took a sip of the four hundred year old wine he had brought with him to the castle for her, “this has to be one of the greatest nights of my entire life, and that’s saying something.”
“You can just call me Kal, ma’am,” Superman nodded softly with an irresistibly charming grin, “this is a date after all.”
“Then you can just call me Celestia,” she replied, adding a playful wink to her response.
Superman chuckled as he grabbed his own glass of wine. Celestia watched on as he took a sip, but despite the great time the two had been having there was still one burning question in the back of her mind. She had wanted to ask it when he first arrived, but was worried about his reaction, so she kept it to herself. Now, however, she knew that he was a pretty calm and probably wouldn’t be upset if she asked him.
“Kal,” she began, placing her glass on the table, “could I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Superman replied with a nod. “Ask me anything.”
“What’s with the outfit?” she asked, pointing her hoof up and down the length of his body. “I mean, I’ve dated a few people like you, but you’re the first to wear his underpants on the outside.”
Superman let out another small chuckle before looking down to the uniform that had become almost synonymous with hope. “My mother made it for me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Celestia panicked, “I didn’t mean to—“
“It’s perfectly fine,” Superman interrupted, passively waving his hand. “I’ve gotten that I don’t know how many times since I went public, I’m surprised you didn’t ask me sooner.”
“Well, I was, but—“
“You were worried how I would react?”
A small tint of pink flushed through Celestia’s cheek before she tried to hide it with her hooves. “Yes.”
“Well, to tell you the truth, I myself wondered why she stitched it like this.” Superman looked down to his iconic uniform, the giant red and yellow shield marked with an ‘S’ covering most of his chest, the bright red cape the flowed to his ankles, and the vibrant blue that swept across his arms and stomach until his belt separated it into his red trunks, then blue down his legs until red boots replaced it. “And also the fact that she made it so tight.”
“Oh, I don’t mind that at all,” Celestia almost growled, looking at him head to toe again, only this time taking in his flawless physique. “How did you even get such a body?”
“I attribute that to genetics,” Superman shrugged, watching his arm flex. “It’s hard to work out when you can bench press the planet.”
Celestia couldn’t help but let out a laugh. She knew his joke was as corny as they come, but there was just something about this particular man that made her all giddy inside. Suddenly and without warning she felt something under her hoof, something far to soft too be the table. Here eyes followed her fore leg to see that her hoof was gently resting in Superman’s hand. She panicked, she couldn’t even remember doing it, her eyes quickly shot to his face, expecting to see some sort of disapproval or disgust, after all, she did seem to be coming on that strong.
However, his warm smile remained. She finally had half a mind to pull her hoof away, but when she tried he gently held her in place. Her eyes locked on his, they seemed so warm, so welcoming, so understanding, so—
“You have the most beautiful aura,” Superman said, completely derailing her train of thought.
“M-my what?”
“Your aura,” he repeated, placing his other hand over her hoof, “the life force that surrounds you, it's one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”
“Y-you can see that?” Celestia stuttered, completely dumbfounded by what her date had just said.
“That I can.” He nodded releasing her from his grasp. “I’ve never seen so much hope, love, will, and compassion in anyone, whether they be human or something else.” Superman leaned in closer to her smiling as warmly as ever. “You truly are special.”
“Well, I… uh,” Celestia didn’t know how to respond, in all her years and all the dates she’d been on in the past few months this one seemed like it was going somewhere other than the bar a few blocks down.
Superman, or Kal as he asked her to call him, was simply perfect, and not just physically, though was a very nice touch. He had just the right amount of charm, corny humor, and understanding that she could ever need. A small tear came to her eye as a smile grew on her face, perhaps her search was finally over.
“Super—I mean, Kal,” she whispered, leaning towards him as well, “this was easily the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“I could say the same, Celestia,” Superman agreed, taking both her hooves this time. “It’s hard for to find someone so amazing.”
A light blush came to Celestia’s face yet again. Maybe among the abilities he had already shown her favorite was his ability to say the right thing. That was the thing that sold it for her, she knew that now was the right time to finally ask a question she was so desperately wanting to ask.
“Kal,” she whispered, “would you mind, if I… if I asked to see you again?”
Superman sat up proudly with a smile plastered on his face. “Celestia,” he began, “I would be—“
Before he could finish, twin beams of red energy blasted him. He wailed in agony as he was thrown into the back of the building, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Celestia’s jaw nearly unhinged, her perfect date—and man for that matter—had just been attacked. She couldn’t even fathom the kind of being who would do such a thing to him. He was easily the finest person she had ever met, so who in all the universe could be his enemy?
“Greetings, Celestia,” a deep, commanding, and slightly intimidating voice from behind her bellowed.
Celestia slowly turned to get a glimpse of who she believed could very well have been Kal’s attacker, but the moment her eyes set upon the being, they shrank into tiny dots. A giant towered over her, nearly twice the size of Superman, and easily three times wider. He wore dark clothes that resembled armor that bore a symbol that looked somewhat like a horseshoe at it’s center. His arms were folded behind his back as if he were plotting universal takeover, and his skin, especially his face, seemed to be made completely out of rock. Finally, her eyes met his: they were pure red, somehow steaming with what appeared to be blood.
“W-who are you?” she asked, slowly backing away.
“Who am I?” the being asked, clearly not amused. “I am your god now, but you may call me—“
“DARKSEID!” Superman roared, throwing off a ton of debris from his body like it was nothing. “What are you doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious, man of steel?” Darkseid replied, slowly turning his head to face him. “I’m here to pick up my date.”
“What?!” Superman and Celestia shouted simultaneously.
“You heard me well enough the first time.” Darkseid scowled, his eyes pulsing red. “I do have sympathy for the female though, she was desperate enough to consider you as a potential mate.” He then outstretched his hand towards Celestia, who backed up even further. “Come now,” he ordered, “you belong to Darkseid.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Superman yelled, before flying straight into Darkseid, delivering a punch that sent his foe flying through the roof. “Stay back, Celestia,” he warned, bracing himself for an attack, “Darkseid is one of the most dangerous beings in the universe and he’ll stop at nothing until he—“
“Claims what’s rightfully mine!” Darkseid roared, slamming through the ceiling, landing squarely on Superman. “Now you are where you truly belong, Superman…” Darkseid began to twist his massive foot on Superman’s face as he struggled to break free. “Beneath my heel.”
Several seconds passed and two faintly glowing red dots suddenly appeared on top of Darkseid’s foot. He winced as he pressed down harder in a vain attempt to squash the resistance, but when two distinct rays of red light blasted through his foot and struck his face he was relented in a cry of unspeakable pain. Using that as a distraction, Superman slammed both his fists into Darkseid’s stomach before swinging them up to his chin, knocking his opponent into the crowded streets.
Superman flew into the fray once more, but Darkseid was already prepared. With another blast of his omega beams, he sent Superman into the side of the mountain, but not before taking a few of the taller buildings with him. Darkseid smiled as he saw the smoke settle around the crater, but when the Kryptonian wasn’t there, his smile was replaced by the grimace of true pain. Superman had flown behind him and slammed his fist close to one thousand times in his back before Darkseid replied with his own fist in kind.
The titans waged their one on one war for what seemed like hours, hitting each other so hard that glass windows from Baltimare to Appaloosa were being shattered by the impact shockwaves. In a rare pause the two stood a football length away from one another. Superman’s once pristine uniform was tattered and torn, his body bloody and bruised, but he still stood strong. Darkseid looked much better off, but his armor was almost unrecognizable compared to when he first arrived. Regardless, Darkseid was on the cusp of all out victory over the one being that could stand against him, and he knew it.
“Farewell, Kryptonian,” he said through a sinister smile, as he readied for one last omega beam strike. “I’ll be sure to leave your head as a trophy.”
“No…” Superman growled, clenching one fist while the other wiped blood from his mouth, “Goodbye to you!”
Just as Darkseid unleashed his omega beams, Superman appeared before him, slamming his open palms deep into Darkseid’s eye sockets. The two roared in unimaginable agony as the explosion engulfed them, filling the entire city with a plum of red light. When the plum dissipated, a crater three city blocks remained, with the two battered and beaten opponents lying in the center.
Superman was the first to rise, holding his side in an attempt to stop as much blood from flowing out of him as possible. Darkseid remained lying down, his face bloody and bruised almost beyond recognition. The man of steel staggered over to his beaten opponent, standing as proudly as he could as he clenched his free hand tighter than he ever had before.
“I should end your insanity Darkseid, right here, right now,” he hissed, eyes pulsing red with fury.
Darkseid's response was a mocking smile that showed a distinct lack of teeth. “You would never kill me, man of steel,” he laughed through bloody coughs, “because without me, there wouldn’t be a you.”
Superman rose his fist, ready to send his opponent to whatever hell he deserved, but within moments his fist lowered and eyes returned to their soft blue. “I’m calling Orion,” he said, “he and the other gods of the New Genesis will insure that you are dealt with, and that this planet is defended.”
Darkseid began to laugh once again, his black blood landing in speckles on what remained of Superman’s uniform. “That is why you will always be weak, Kryptonian,” he said reaching for his belt, “and that is why in the end, all will hail Darkseid.”
“No!” Superman yelled, reaching for Darkseid, but it was too late, the flash of light that came from the boom tube generator blinded him just long enough for Darkseid to make his escape.
Superman fell to his knees and cried out in rage, shaking the nearby buildings that were somehow still standing. Celestia rushed to the edge of the crater to see Superman swaying from side to side as he tried to stand up. Before he fell back to the ground she caught him with magic and brought him to her side, where she soon began to cradle him.
“By harmony,” she said looking over his wounds, “I thought you were a goner.”
“I’m tougher than I look,” Superman smiled, adding a playful wink, “besides, I’ve been through worse.”
“I could hardly imagine how anything could be worse than—“
“Well, I died once.”
“…What?”
“Really long and complicated story,” Superman said struggling to his feet again, “but quite frankly, stuff like this happens every Wednesday.”
“Every… Wednesday?” Celestia asked, her jaw nearly hitting the floor.
“Pretty much,” Superman shrugged, “close to once every week I’m either straight up battling a intergalactic tyrant like Darkseid, or I’m dealing with some sort of morality issue that’s been turned into a metaphor through conflict between myself and one or several individuals.”
Celestia promptly sat on her rump, tears filling her eyes. “I knew you were too good to be true…” she whimpered, doing her best and failing to hold back tears, “I just knew it.”
Superman looked down to the sobbing alicorn with sad, yet still understanding eyes. “So I guess that means that we won’t see a part two to this?”
“No,” Celestia said reluctantly, “as much as I’d want to, I can’t risk the entirety of my nation. I’m so sorry.”
“I understand,” Superman nodded as he hung his head low. “It was really nice meeting you Celestia.”
“You too… Kal,” Celestia said wiping away her tears.
With that the two waved to one another one last time, and Superman ascended into the sky, probably to return to his fortress in the north. Minutes passed by, and Celestia still couldn’t get over how close she had gotten with this date, it all was just so perfect. The dancing, the gifts, his personality, all of it was leagues ahead of any other date she had prior to this, but it all went to hell when that Darkseid character showed up and the two began to fight. Celestia’s eyes suddenly shrank into dots for the second time that evening, remembering exactly why she had to say no to her seemingly perfect man.
“Shit…” she muttered, looking around at the devastation, “How the fuck are we going to pay for this?