//------------------------------// // Chapter 62: All Horribles Things Thankfully Come To An End // Story: Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website // by RainbowBob //------------------------------// “Huh… so this is what being just a disembodied head feels like,” Deadpool said. A pool of his blood had formed around Dio’s feet, mostly due to the fact Dio was holding his head in the palm of his hand. Just the head, actually. “Oooh, much breezier than I thought it’d be.” “Well, that was disappointing,” Dio muttered. He gagged, letting Deadpool’s head drop with a plop on the ground. “Ugh, disgusting. What exactly is in your blood anyhow?” “A deadly amount of high fructose corn syrup. Oh, also, cancer. A hella amount of cancer.” Fluttershy blinked, staring at Deadpool’s head (the rest of his body parts had scattered like confetti) and then back at Dio, who was trying to wipe Deadpool’s blood off his fingers. “Wait, what happened? One second Deadpool was here and then he’s just… just a head.” “Actually, I’d consider myself pretty behind right now.” Deadpool laughed at his own joke. “OH GOD THE PAIN! THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!” Deadpool breathed in, then out, and then gulped. “Okay, I’m better now.” Fluttershy took a step towards Deadpool, then moved back at what she was considering to do: console a disembodied head of a maniac mercenary madman… who was also her friend but still. “How can you even still breathe and talk without a body?” Fluttershy asked, knowing fully well what she was witnessing would require her to spend a fortune on therapy and then some. Deadpool attempted to shrug… if he had shoulders to speak of. “Oh, I’dunno. Why is Reed Richards useless? Why doesn’t the Hulk take a chill pill? Why does Iron Man drink and drive his suit? Why doesn’t Spider-Man come out about his obsessive and undying love for me? It’s all quite simple, really.” Deadpool waited a few seconds, and then hastily whispered, “Because authors are dumbshits.” “What?” “Aliens. It’s aliens. Always aliens.” Yawning, Dio kicked Deadpool’s head into the vampire horde, all of whom avoided it like a nuke-powered soccer ball. “How pathetic. Another weakling to crush under the boot of my heel. Just like you, it seems,” Dio said, nonchalantly walking towards Fluttershy. He wiggled a single finger at her, licking the tips of his fangs as he did so. “I wonder which way you’ll enjoy your end more? With a tender kiss, or a caress?” He chuckled. “Actually, I have a splendid idea. Whichever way I kill you will be the opposite of the end of your precious princess. So, what’s it going to be, hmm?” “S-stay back!” Fluttershy dived at the duffel bag Deadpool had brought with him, now considered useless against this unfamiliar foe. “I-I’m warning y-y-you!” Dio barked out a laugh while Fluttershy struggled to unzip the duffel bag. “Warnings are such a waste when you have no viable threat to back them up.” Dio arched a brow once Fluttershy had opened the bag’s contents. “Unless you actually have one.” Before Fluttershy could even look was inside, the duffel bag vanished. She blinked, feeling the slight presence of a wind on her cheek before she realized the space in front of her was empty. Looking to Dio, she saw an unfamiliar man… creature… thing beside him. It was an all-gold behemoth of a man, wearing a triangle helmet that covered the top part of his face like a crown while he wore golden cables along his shoulders that reached his headgear, all the while he was covered in gold plating with the only open areas to show off his muscular build. Also, he was holding the duffel bag while Dio was laughing stereotypically villainously by his side. “Oh, quite too easy, quite too easy indeed!” Dio snapped his fingers, and the golden figure dropped the duffel bag by his feet. “Deadpool wasn’t fast enough for the World and neither are you!” Fluttershy back away slowly, but soon found her path blocked by the vampire army amassed by Dio himself. They were a sickly crew of monstrous abominations that didn’t even look like vampires, although Fluttershy was pretty sure they wouldn’t be too picky eating her flesh from drinking her blood. Also, chances were even if she flew Dio would just cut her to pieces before she could even flap her wings. As Deadpool would say it, she was boned. “Any last words before your untimely yet gruesome death?” Dio asked, both him and the ‘World’ crossing their arms over their chests. Fluttershy closed her eyes, really squeezed them shut until it hurt, until not even tears could spring up. Relaxing her breathing, she finally peaked a single lid open. She smiled. This unsettled Dio enough to quickly glance upward at what Fluttershy’s attention was focused at. He gulped. “Aren’t sunrises wonderful?”