//------------------------------// // 8. The Squall // Story: Keeping It Simple // by Ivory Piano //------------------------------// The Squall The familiar grating sound of rusted metal digging into the sun-dried soil resounded throughout Sweet Apple Acres, much to Big Macintosh’s chagrin. If only because he wasn’t the one making it. That one simple sound created a great rolled up ball of anger, guilt, embarrassment, and uselessness that weighed down his chest and made it impossible to squeeze out what little enjoyment he usually could from lounging beneath the shade of the orchard. Worse yet that he felt so bad so early in the day. So instead of lying around in the dawn’s early light, he paced back and forth beside the field that Applejack, wearing his harness nonetheless, was plowing. The middle Apple sibling, meanwhile, did her best to ignore him. Though her best didn’t last for long as she stopped her work. “Ain’t ya got somethin’ else ya need ta do?” she asked with a glare towards her older brother. “Nnope,” came his simple answer. Applejack rolled her eyes as she struggled to pull the plow forward once again. “Don’t pull too hard or else ya might wrench it loose,” Big Mac said. “Ah know,” she said, not bothering to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “Keep the harness on yer shoulders. Yer puttin’ too much strain on yer neck.” “Big Macintosh!” she exclaimed, glaring at her brother. “Ah can do this, now git. See if Granny Smith needs yer help bakin’ or something.” Well, it sure wasn’t a bad idea. But before he got up, he looked at the rusty blade of the plow and how much Applejack struggled to pull it. “There’s a new blade in the barn in the far back right stall. Should be easier for ya to pull,” he said as he took his first hesitant steps towards the farmhouse. The familiar smell of pies, turnovers, and muffins filled the house, all coming from the kitchen where Granny Smith busily baked the day’s pastries for selling and delivering. Big Macintosh swore he never saw Granny Smith move faster than when she was in the kitchen baking up a hurricane of treats. A great feat considering the heat coming from the oven, raising the temperature of the whole kitchen several degrees. “Ya need any help, Granny?” Macintosh called amongst the multitude of clanks and rings from colliding baking pans. The older mare only gave him a sideways glance as she started mixing batter. “Don’t ya worry ‘bout me, Ah got the fort held down over here. Why don’t ya see if yer sisters need any help,” she said as she poured the batter into a bundt pan. Big Macintosh hung his head and nodded as he left the kitchen. Maybe Applebloom needed his help. If he could only find the little filly. He found her in the first place he looked: her room. The youngest Apple was busy gluing pages of blank parchment together, though by the looks of things she wasn’t having any luck. She had accidentally glued some pages to her coat, and was currently struggling with a few stubborn papers stuck to her hooves. She looked more like giant ball of crumpled up parchment than a pony. He chuckled softly as he came up to her. “Need any help, sugarcube?” he asked. Applebloom looked at him, a sheet of paper stuck to her mouth, and gave him the old puppy dog look. That was answer enough for him and started peeling away the sticky paper. Thankfully, the glue was still wet and peeled off easily. Once the offending papers had all been removed and thrown away, Big Macintosh took another look at his youngest sister. “Thanks, big brother,” Applebloom said, finally able to remove the paper from her mouth. She smacked her lips together and grimaced at the foul taste of paste. “No problem,” he said. “Let me draw ya a bath. Best ta get clean before that glue dries.” He made his way to the bathroom, but before he could get through the doorway Applebloom zipped past him and stopped in front of her older brother. “Ah can do it,” Applebloom insisted, “Ah’m not a little filly anymore.” Big Macintosh smiled. “A’right, sugarcube. But this better not be some trick ta get out of a bath.” “It isn’t,” Applebloom said as she stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Big Macintosh stayed by the bathroom door until he heard the sound of running water. Satisfied, he walked away and down the stairs. Now all he needed to do was find something to do. But until then, he could check up on how Applejack was doing with the plowing. But as he stepped outside he found a familiar pink pony sitting on the porch with a basket balancing precariously on her head. Once she saw him her face brightened and her grin grew wider. “Howdy Pinkie,” he said as he walked off the porch. “Hey Macky, could you help me with something?” she asked as she got up to bounce alongside him. The question stopped him in his tracks and made his ears perk up. “Anythin’” he said with a sigh of relief. “Whaddya need? Somethin’ pulled? Somethin’ carried? Somethin’ built? Somethin’ fixed?” She giggled. “Nothing like that,” she said as she bounced the basket off her head and onto the ground. He gazed at it, realizing that her work probably wasn’t as physically demanding as he would have liked. -*- Pinkie Pie felt light as a feather as she sat atop the red stallion’s back, an apple-filled wicker basket resting next to her on his flank. As Big Macintosh walked towards Ponyville, he could only see it as a sign of his quickly coming recovery. Indeed, his body felt almost as if it was never broken in the first place. He liked to attribute his quick-healing physique to his sheer strength of will. Though, and he would never admit this to anyone else but himself, the trip to the spa yesterday might have maybe played a tiny role as well…probably. But the whole ‘sheer will’ explanation felt more appropriate for the Apple stallion. “Rarity?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Frozen yogurt with blueberry topping,” Big Macintosh answered. The bubbly pink pony had caught him on the farm looking for a second palette to try some of her newest recipes. For the farmpony, it had been a mixed experienced. The Red-Hot Chili Cake, as Pinkie called it, had left a none-too-pleasant burn on his tongue while the orange and cinnamon cupcake had been surprisingly pleasant. “Fluttershy?” “Strawberry-banana smoothie.” When exactly she had decided to climb atop of him, Big Mac didn’t really know. All he knew was that he had offered the mare an escort home and suddenly she went from walking beside him to being carried by him. Now that he thought about it, he really didn’t know how they had started this little game of theirs either. He didn’t mind either development. The extra weight made him feel like he was doing some work and conversations with Pinkie Pie almost always proved pleasant, if not a welcomed distraction. And he never had needed a distraction more than today. “Rainbow Dash?” “Sea salt ice cream.” “Ooo, you’re focusing on her coat. I always thought about her mane though, you know? Kind of like a jawbreaker when you cut it in half.” Big Mac nodded as he thought about it for a second. “Ah like that one better. ‘Jawbreaker’ kinda suits her.” Pinkie Pie giggled before tapping on her chin as she thought of the next pony. “What about me?” “Oh that’s easy. Whatever ya get when ya mix cotton candy and marshmallows.” Pinkie giggled again. “That’s a great idea! We could totally throw some marshmallows in a cotton candy machine and see what happens.” He chuckled at the idea as the pair finally arrived at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie bounced off of him with her basket full of apples clutched in her teeth. She placed it on the ground to speak. “Thanks for trying out my treats, Macky,” she said with a huge grin. “Anytime Pinkie,” he said as he watched her head inside with a final goodbye. He watched her go with a warm smile before turning back the way he came, allowing himself to get lost within his own head. A gnawing thought had itched at the back of his mind all day, and it wasn’t until Pinkie Pie thanked him that he could finally associate words to the thought: he’d rather be working on the farm than being with Applejack’s friends. Not that he hated spending time with them, on the contrary he rather enjoyed it, but he still felt the emptiness that came with being unable to fulfill his responsibilities. Though he supposed that feeling would be ever-present so long as he was injured. Still, if he was doing something that held actual importance rather than having fun all the time perhaps he would feel better. A sudden and light collision to his chest jarred the workpony out of his thoughts. Big Mac heard a small ‘umph’ as who he bumped into was knocked off her hooves. “Beg pardon, Miss Sparkle,” he said as he placed his muzzle beneath her and propped her back up on her hooves. “That’s okay,” Twilight said while she straightened her saddlebag so stuffed with books that Big Macintosh could actually see the seams begin to loosen and separate. Not to mention the mare’s knees buckling beneath her as they struggled against the weight. No wonder he was able to knock her over with a simple bump. “Need any help?” he asked. “What about your injuries?” she said. Big Mac’s only answer was to grab her saddle bag strap and sling the pack on his back. The weight was hardly noticeable. He gave Twilight a reassuring smile, one that she returned, as the two took pace to a leisurely walk. It didn’t take long for Macintosh to realize that they were walking away from the library. “So where we headed so early in the mornin’?” he asked. “To Fluttershy’s. She asked me to deliver these books to her. Kind of strange, though. She could have just stopped by the library,” Twilight said. Now that Big Mac thought about it, he had rarely seen Fluttershy since their venture within the Everfree Forest. Though it wasn’t as if they were close friends, so he didn’t think much of it. “Haven’t seen much of her,” he said. “None of us have,” Twilight said. “But it happens sometimes, usually when she’s taking care of a sick animal. She’ll focus on nothing except making them feel better. I think her record is two months when she took in a python with a stomachache.” She smiled before turning to the stallion. “Say, do you still think that there’s no need for you to be smart?” she suddenly asked. “Eeyup,” he said, a bit annoyed that they were reopening that can of worms. “All Ah need is common sense an’ a knack for numbers, an’ bein’ literate helps too of course. Other than that Ah really don’t need ta be all intellectual.” “Big word,” Twilight said with a smirk, earning her a small bump from the larger pony. Though it did nothing to contain her smile even as she shuffled to keep her balance. “Alright, but how about this: everything you use on the farm, from your tools to the various techniques for planting and harvesting, were created by a smart pony.” Her smile turned wide and triumphant as Big Macintosh rubbed his chin in thought. “Ah think we’re goin’ on different kinds of smart, Miss Sparkle,” he finally said. “Yeah, a smart pony did think up all those things, but that’s because they tried it one way and thought of a better way. Ah’m talkin’ more about the kinda smart that does nothin’ but stay in a library readin’ books written by other ponies who did nothin’ but stay in a library readin’ books. And then takin’ those thoughts in those books and takin’ them as their own so they can write their own books that’ll then be read years later by even more ponies that do nothin’ but-” “So ponies like me,” Twilight dryly interrupted his ranting. “ ‘course not,” he said quickly. “Ya help yer friends, my sister- heck most of Ponyville. Ya actually do things ta help ponies.” “But Big Macintosh, just because they, and I’m assuming that we’re talking about philosopher ponies and maybe highly theoretical scientists, mathematicians, and magiologists, don’t directly help ponies doesn’t mean their works aren’t beneficial. In fact, they might help more ponies than a single pony could otherwise.” “Ah believe it, Miss Sparkle. But there ain’t no reason they can’t do both.” Before Twilight could say her undoubtedly intelligent counterargument, Big Macintosh stopped in front of the door of Fluttershy’s cottage. “Rain check?” Twilight asked as she knocked on the entrance. “Eeyup,” Big Mac said. The two waited for an answer, but none came. Big Macintosh couldn’t help but notice the deafening silence all around them. Wasn’t Fluttershy known for caring for animals? He would have thought that the home of such a pegasus would be filled with the calls and trills of all sorts of creatures flitting about. But there was nothing in sight or earshot. If it weren’t for the idyllic setting brightened by the morning sun and the quiet babble of the nearby stream, the cottage would rival any tepid midnight walk through an abandoned mansion in eeriness. Twilight knocked again. “Fluttershy? It’s me, and Macintosh is here too. We brought the books you wanted,” she said. Still nothing was heard for a few moments until finally the door opened just wide enough for a pony to stick a leg through. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief and headed for the door. “There you are, for a minute I thought-“ “Don’t come in,” Fluttershy’s voice interrupted, and then more softly, “Please.” Twilight stopped her advance. “Why not? Is there something wrong?” “No nothing’s wrong,” Fluttershy quickly said. “It’s just that, well, uh, it’s really messy in here. So, if I could just get those books, please.” A small yellow hoof poked through the doorway, held out expectantly. Big Macintosh took the hint and removed the saddlebag and placed its strap on the hoof. It sunk as the weight of the bag came full force upon it. Slowly, Fluttershy managed to inch it within her cottage. A few seconds later, the hoof brought out the empty pack and closed the door behind it. Twilight stood stunned before coming up to the door and knocking on it once again. “Fluttershy, I don’t mind a mess. You’ve seen the library when I do research. In fact, I’ll be happy to help you clean up.” “No!” The door muffled most of her shout. “I mean, that’s okay really. Please, I just need some time…alone.” “Is there something wrong?” Twilight asked. “If there is, we can help.” “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” Fluttershy said through the door. But it wasn’t enough of an answer for Twilight. “If you’re fine then let us in.” There was no reply. “Twilight,” Big Mac spoke up, “if she wants to be alone then there ain’t much ya can do about it. Maybe ya can talk to ‘er after a bit of time has passed,” he said before grabbing the empty saddlebag and draping it across the mare’s back. “I guess. But something’s not right, I just know it. Fluttershy may be shy but it’s not like her to just push her friends away like that unless she’s having trouble with something. Maybe it has to do with that bird? Maybe it’s getting worse? But if that was the case then why not ask for our help?” “Whatever the reason, it ain’t our place to intrude,” Big Mac said as he turned to walk away from the cottage. Twilight walked alongside him, but wasn’t ready to give up just yet. “But we’re her friends. It doesn’t seem right to do nothing when Fluttershy might need us, even if she doesn’t want us to help her.” Big Mac turned to Twilight and saw the worry in her eyes. With a roll of his own, he turned back towards the cottage. “Ya really wanna get in there?” he asked her, and Twilight nodded earnestly as they came back to the cottage. Big Macintosh thought for a moment, and, with an idea in place, approached the door and leaned the flat of his head on the cool wood. Closing his eyes, he thought of the words to say. Being a big brother and growing up in a house full of fillies had taught him a lot, and so he knew he only had one chance to do this right. “Miss Shy? It’s Macintosh. Twilight’s real worried about ya, and she thinks there might be something you ain’t telling us. But Ah ain’t gonna tell ya ta come out here so we can talk an’ Ah ain’t gonna tell ya ta let us in so we can help ya. If you don’t want us then that’s fine, it’s yer business and we ain’t got no right ta intrude.” “Macintosh what are you-“ Twilight was cut off by a raised hoof. He continued with a slow, quiet voice. “But Ah want ta let ya know that we’re here for ya if ya ever need us. Ah just thought that…well…that maybe, since Ah’ve been feelin’ pretty useless ‘cause of my injuries, that helping you could’ve given me some dang use, ya know? Ah mean, Ah can’t even do what Ah’m good at ta help my family and the farm. So Ah’ll just be on my way. Ah’m sorry Ah couldn’t help ya. Feels like Ah can’t help anypony these days…” His piece spoken, he turned around and walked away as he nodded his head towards Twilight as a silent gesture for her to follow him. She did, reluctantly. “Whatever ya do, don’t look back,” Macintosh whispered as the pair made their way over the small bridge overpassing the stream. “Macintosh, I don’t think-“ Twilight’s doubts were interrupted by a click followed by a quiet, drawn out creak. The two turned to find the cottage door wide open, its doorway dark and empty. Big Macintosh shot the disbelieving filly a smug smile, and she just rolled her eyes in response. “That was incredibly manipulative,” Twilight said with a glare to the stallion. He smiled. “Ain’t no different than when a mare bats her eyelashes at some poor colt.” Twilight shook her head as she walked back to Fluttershy’s. “Yes, but that’s also incredibly manipulative.” Macintosh only nodded in agreement before following the unicorn. Despite Twilight’s urgency to get in, she took her time as she crept to the open door with Big Macintosh following behind her. The interior was dark with the only light coming from a lit candle on a table, casting a weak orange glow around the room. A stark contrast to the brightness of the day. No matter how much they looked inside, neither Twilight nor Big Macintosh could see anything more but a few pieces of furniture and a lump of blankets in the middle of the floor. “Fluttershy?” Twilight called as she stepped inside. The only answer was a small peep from amongst the pile of blankets. As the two approached closer, they realized that one of the mounds of sheets was actually the yellow pegasus curled into a little ball with several books scattered all around her. “I…” Fluttershy finally spoke. Her usual whisper somehow even quieter and her eyes puffy and red. She didn’t say anything more and simply gestured a hoof towards the center of the bundle in the middle of the floor. Twilight’s gaze followed the yellow hoof’s direction and looked closely at the mass of blankets. “Oh,” she said simply, her ears falling back. Curious, Big Mac approached the pile to find it less a pile and more a makeshift nest. An appropriate term considering the silver bird lying in its indented center. Its size was immense, with a body about as long as Big Mac’s foreleg. It’s beak was thick, squat, and curved like a parrot’s, yet it lacked much of the excess plumage common in those types of birds. “Is it…” Twilight began as she cautioned a touch one of its outstretched tail feathers. Fluttershy nodded as she wiped her eyes with a foreleg. “He died this morning.” “I’m so sorry,” the unicorn said. “It’s okay. It was probably for the best. The poor dear was sick for weeks. He couldn’t even open his eyes towards the...end.” She wiped her eyes again, but it did nothing to halt the tears falling to her cheeks. “I’m sorry.” Twilight immediately went up to her friend and gave her a comforting nuzzle on her cheek. “It’s okay, Fluttershy. These things happen.” The pegasus nodded as she composed herself enough to speak again. “I wanted to bury him at his birthplace, but I don’t know where that is. I was hoping that maybe I could find out from one of these books.” “Why is it so important to bury him there?” Twilight asked as her gaze fell to the floor at all the books scattered about. “Well, um, because I feel like it’s a way to make up for not being able to…help,” Fluttershy whispered. “I have to.” The answer was enough for the unicorn. “Don’t worry, we’re here to help. I’m sure with all of us reading these books we’ll find a solution in no time. Right, Macintosh?” The red pony didn’t say anything. Instead dragging a book towards each of the mares in the room and taking one for himself. “Thank you,” Flutter whispered as she opened her book, and Twilight nodded as she moved to read her own. Macintosh, meanwhile, didn’t open his book right off. His attention focused on the lifeless form in front of him. Especially the great wings whose wingspan could have easily been four times as long as its body. “Did ya ever see it fly?” he asked. “Um…no. I found him sick with a broken wing. I tried feeding him but he couldn’t keep anything down but water. And since last week he couldn’t even move,” Fluttershy answered, and Big Mac nodded his thanks as she went back to reading. But still, his book remained unopened and his gaze remained locked on the bird. It wasn’t until Twilight caught him staring at the creature and his eyes met hers did he finally open the tome and began to read. The books were all catalogues and field guides, and so it took no time at all to read through them. His contained plenty of illustrations and descriptions of various bird species and families, but none of them described anything close to the one lying still in front of him. If Twilight’s frown and Fluttershy’s quiet sniffs were to be believed, they weren’t having much luck either. It took the three of them a couple of hours to go through every single one of the nine books Twilight had brought, and even then the unicorn teleported to Canterlot to retrieve even more books from the palace library. By the time those were read, it was already noon. “Nothing,” Twilight said as she haphazardly tossed her book aside. “If only…” her voice fell to a hopeless mutter as she rubbed her neck. She turned to look at the yellow pegasus. “I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay, Twilight,” Fluttershy said as she placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “You did your best.” The unicorn nodded. “It’s actually quite interesting. For all we know this could be a new species of bird you discovered.” Fluttershy just nodded and looked at the bird, and the other two followed suit. They didn’t say anything for a while, and just looked at the lifeless husk in front of them. Big Macintosh thought he would have liked to see it alive, to see it fly. Celestia knows he never had a chance to see anything that big soar above, besides a pegasus of course. But even a pegasus didn’t have wings that large. “What do you think happens when we die?” Fluttershy suddenly asked in a whisper, her eyes never leaving the bird. “I…” Twilight whispered before trailing off. Her eyes darted from the dead bird to Fluttershy to Macintosh and back to Fluttershy. “We…don’t have time for that. How about you tell us where you found him, maybe there’ll be something that can help us.” Fluttershy looked at the unicorn for a moment as did Big Macintosh. He never knew Twilight to just shut down a question like that before. In fact, it seemed like one of those topics where the studious mare would drop the names of a few notable philosophers and quote passages upon passages of abstruse writings. “O-okay, but there’s not much I can say,” Fluttershy said. “I remember it was close to the beginning of spring, the night after,” her eyes darted to Big Macintosh before gazing at the floor, “uh, you and Rarity enchanted the applecart.” There was an awkward silence for a few moments, during which both mares kept their eyes far away from Big Mac’s. He rolled his eyes, surprised that they still hadn’t gotten over it. It wasn’t as if the cart landed on them. Finally, the pegasus continued. “It was a really windy night and I was about to go out to buy some last minute groceries for Angel when I saw the poor thing being swept away by the wind. So I took him in and tried to help him. But no matter what I tried he didn't get any better and the next week me and Macintosh gathered some plants for medicine.” The earth pony and pegasus quickly exchanged a knowing glance. “I remember,” Twilight said. “Where exactly did you see him? And in what direction was he being blown?” “Um, I think I first saw him near the Everfree Forest, going away from it,” she said. Twilight tapped her chin as she narrowed her eyes in thought. “Then it wouldn’t be a big leap to say that he came from the forest. Maybe Zecora knows something about what kind of bird he is.” Fluttershy’s eyes lit up for a split second and nodded her agreement. But the light behind her irises faded as they went back to the dead bird in front of her. She stared for a few seconds before carefully taking the corners of the blanket it rested upon and wrapping the sheet around the body. “Big Macintosh,” she whispered, “could you, um, maybe…” her voice trailed off into nothing, but she didn’t have to repeat herself. Her question was clear enough. With tender care, Big Macintosh took some of the slack of the blanket within his teeth and brought the bundle to rest on his broad back. It felt like it weighed almost nothing. “Alright. Let’s go,” Twilight said. The other two nodded and followed the unicorn out of the cottage and towards the Everfree Forest. Big Mac had never actually met Zecora, and only knew what his little sisters said of her. Only that she was a zebra and had helped them from time to time. He supposed she couldn’t be that bad, even if she lived in the most inhospitable place in all Equestria. A place he was none too happy about having to go back to. As the three approached the edge of the forest (a short journey from Fluttershy’s cottage) Big Macintosh could feel a small shiver head down his back. As much as he hated to admit it, he was afraid. But he wasn’t one to voice his fear out loud, and so just kept close to Twilight’s side as the woods around them became darker and darker despite the sun overhead. On the other side of Twilight, Fluttershy was doing the same and pressed closer against her friend. Big Mac knew that no matter how many times he went into the forest the faint icy feeling crawling along his back would never go away. “Uh, Mac,” Twilight spoke up. “Could you stop leaning on me so much?” The stallion quickly righted himself, his cheeks a bit more red than usual. “Sorry, Miss Sparkle. Just worried for yer safety,” he lied. The three continued in silence for a time. After a few minutes, Fluttershy spoke. “You know,” she whispered, “I remember that, when I first took him inside, he wouldn’t stop flapping his wings and try to get out of the cottage. It took me a long time to finally convince him to calm down.” Macintosh just listened, sure that she wasn’t looking for anyone to respond. The trio came upon a tree that stood out from the rest. Its trunk was much too thick for its height, looking as if it were inflated and engorged with air. The tree’s strangest features were its windows and door, obviously not a common thing for a tree to have. Then again, this was the Everfree Forest and he wasn’t about to dismiss the thing entirely. Twilight and Fluttershy approached the door while Big Macintosh stayed a comfortable distance back. The unicorn knocked and it took no time at all for a zebra to open the entrance and step forward. “Twilight and Fluttershy, it is good to see you, and I see you’ve brought someone new,” Zecora said as she saw the red stallion. “Oh right,” Twilight said. She raised a hoof towards Big Macintosh. “Zecora, Big Macintosh.” Then moved her hoof to point to Zecora. “Big Macintosh, Zecora.” “Howdy,” the colt said simply. “A pleasure to meet you, Big Macintosh. Please come in, I’m cooking squash,” Zecora said as she moved to the door. Before she could enter, Twilight spoke more. “Sorry Zecora, but we’re in a bit of a hurry. You see Fluttershy was taking care of a really sick bird and he…passed away. We wanted to bury him at his birthplace but we don’t know where that is. All we know is that it might have come from the Everfree Forest, so we brought him to you hoping you might know something.” Zecora’s gaze went to Mac and caught sight of the bundle on his back. “Say no more, my dear friend. Come inside and a hoof I shall lend.” With that she turned to walk inside as Fluttershy, Twilight and Macintosh followed. Inside, Zecora cleared her table free of various knick-knacks and offered the clean surface to Macintosh. He grabbed the bundle from his back and gently placed it down on the table. Slowly, he brought his teeth to each of the four tucked corners of the sheet and began to unwrap the body. “No wait,” Fluttershy said as she spun her head away. An instant later everyone else was forced to do the same as a bright light emanated from the bird. Quickly, Big Macintosh draped the blanket over it once again and the brightness faded away. “I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said. “I should have told you earlier that his wings shine when in the light.” “You didn’t think to tell us?” Twilight said as she stared at the pegasus in disbelief. “I’m sorry, but, no...” Twilight brought a hoof to rub her forehead before looking back at the now covered bird. “That aside, it’s actually quite fascinating. I wonder why its wings are so reflective.” Before Twilight could go on, Zecora had already begun. “There’s no doubt this is a Squall you have found, surely not a creature seen commonly around.” “A Squall?” Fluttershy asked as her sight went to the covered bird. “Yes, that’s right. They’re known for their wings shining bright,” Zecora removed a bit of the sheet, revealing a part of the bird’s shining feat. “Does that mean you know where they live, Zecora?” Twilight asked as she covered her eyes from the bird’s reflective feathers. “Indeed, my little unicorn, I do know where these birds are born. You must go to the northwest, as that is where you’ll begin your quest. There is a mountain there where the winds always blow, and to its peak is where you must go.” “Thanks Zecora, we’ll go right now,” Twilight said as Fluttershy wrapped the Squall within the cloth. “Um, Zecora?” Fluttershy whispered as Big Macintosh placed the bundle on his back. “What is it dear Fluttershy? Feel free to ask and I shall reply,” Zecora said. “Uh, well, what do you think happens when we die?” “Fluttershy!” Twilight whispered harshly, but Zecora only lowered her head in a solemn nod. “It is a question many of us ask, and providing an answer is no small task. But in my homeland it is said that the living are watched over by the dead. The departed protect their kin, so long as the living’s hearts are pure within. It is sad when loved ones die, but there is no need to cry. They are always there to provide strength for a time of any length.” Fluttershy smiled at the zebra. “Thank you.” “So,” Big Macintosh spoke, “they keep watchin’ over their families even after their gone?” Zecora nodded and Big Macintosh smiled. “Ah kinda like that.” The sound of a closing door made the three turn their heads. The only thing Macintosh saw through the window was Twilight walking through the forest alone towards the northwest. “What’s wrong with Twilight?” the red pony asked Fluttershy. “I…don’t know,” she said. “Maybe we were taking to long.” Fluttershy stepped towards the door and Macintosh followed her. “Bye Zecora,” the pegasus said, “and thank you.” “Worry no more, it’s what friends are for,” Zecora said as she waved her goodbye to them. It didn’t take long for the two to catch up to Twilight. Fluttershy asked why she left so soon, but the unicorn just silently trekked onward deeper into the Everfree Forest. “I wonder what’s wrong,” Fluttershy said as she and Macintosh followed Twilight now several feet ahead. “Ah don’t know, but whatever it is, it ain’t none of our concern. If she wants ta talk to us about it, she’ll talk to us about it but only if she’s ready,” Big Mac said. “But…we’re her friends, aren’t we?” Fluttershy said as he turned her eyes towards the stallion. “Miss Sparkle said the same thing when we were outside yer cottage. Ah don’t know how it is with y’all, but, the way Ah see it, forcing yer friends ta share their private thoughts doesn’t sound like somethin’ a friend should do.” “I…I guess not…” Fluttershy mumbled. “But, sometimes, the animals I take care of don’t want my help either even if I know they really need it. Maybe friends are the same way?” Big Macintosh didn’t say anything. Truth be told, he had to think about that one. -*- He knew that the forest would quickly grow dark no matter the time of day, but he didn’t expect for such a strong wind to pick up. It came all at once, as if someone had pushed a button to trigger the gust. Big Macintosh had to take the bundle in his teeth or else the wind might have blown it away. While Twilight had an easier time keeping her saddlebags on her as she adjusted the strap to face the wind. Fluttershy, however, had the least luck as her wings seemed to flail in the gust despite her best efforts to reign them in. The sound of rustling leaves and the roar of wind only became louder as they went deeper in. They traveled so deep and for so long, in fact, that soon it appeared as if they had reached the other side. The trees and foliage began to thin out, and slowly the darkness that constantly enveloped the forest began to recede just a bit. But the raging winds still prevailed, and Big Macintosh knew that he wasn’t so lucky as to have exited the Everfree. What faced them only confirmed it. Ahead of them lay a treeless plain of dried grass. The sun was hidden behind a thick layer of clouds, completely isolated and free of any sort of pegasi control. Colors became muted, lit only by the few meager rays of light penetrating the clouds. At the far end of the field loomed a mountain so high its peak hid itself within the layer of cloud cover. It looked like a pillar of stone holding up the sky rather than anything nature would have created. A narrow outcropping spiraled down the stone face and acted as the only means of climbing to the top. The stone itself was a deep earth brown that resembled dirt rather than rock. Big Mac quickly scanned the obstacle for a moment before coming to a realization: he was smiling. With that in mind, he took the first of many wind-swept steps towards his goal. Twilight took a bit longer to examine what lay ahead of them, and Fluttershy took even more time. But soon both of them were by Big Macintosh’s side, specifically the side that blocked most of the wind from them. “Are you sure you have to bury him at his birthplace?” Twilight yelled over the rushing wind. Fluttershy’s mouth moved to form words, but the gust carried them away before they could be heard. She finally obtained enough volume to say, “I guess not.” Her voice wasn’t so much a shout as it was a loud whisper. Hearing this, Big Macintosh placed the wrapped Squall beneath his hoof to keep it from blowing away while freeing his mouth to speak. “So yer gonna give up?” he asked. “Well, uh,” Fluttershy stuttered, but he didn’t give her time to continue. “That’s just fine, Miss Shy. Ya’ll go back and Ah’ll head on alone.” And with that, he grabbed the bundle once again and pressed forward. He wasn’t surprised when the two stepped alongside him. Stronger and stronger winds accompanied each step closer to the mountain, and each step forward seemed harder to take than the last. The wind felt like a hurricane by the time the three reached the foot of the path, and Big Macintosh had to fight to keep his footing. He looked ahead at the path winding up the mountainside. It was just wide enough for them to walk side by side, but it would be a tight fit. Luckily, his side was the side at the ledge. He wrapped his foreleg around the covered bird to say something, but no matter how loud he yelled even his deep bellow was overtaken by the sound of wind. The three looked at each other for a moment, and they all knew it would be impossible to speak from that point on. Big Macintosh grabbed the Squall in his teeth again and took his first unsteady steps forward with Twilight and Fluttershy. For a second, Twilight’s horn began to glow only to flicker out. She tried again, and this time managed to create a purple wall of light to block much of the wind. But Big Macintosh saw the strain on the unicorn’s face as she tried her best to maintain the spell. He didn’t know how long she could keep it up, but he knew he didn’t want to risk her tiring out in such a dangerous place. So with a gentle nudge from his shoulder to hers, he locked eyes with her and shook his head. She hesitated, whether because of reluctance or time taken to understand his meaning he didn’t know, but soon the wall of purple evaporated. Leaving Macintosh to act as the only buffer between the wind, the ledge, and a fall. Strangely, no matter which side of the mountain the three were on, Big Macintosh always felt the brunt of the wind as if the mountain itself was drawing the gales towards it. Despite the protection from the wind, Fluttershy still had to walk between Twilight and Macintosh. Being squeezed between them provided the only means for her wings to stay at her sides. Big Mac could feel the pegasus shiver beside him. He wanted to say something to comfort her but, between the cloth in his mouth and the rush of wind, he couldn’t. They took their time, silent but determined, up the barren outcropping. Loose gravel created unstable steps, and it wasn’t long before Mac’s back leg slipped off the ledge. He recovered easily, but didn’t dare look at the mares next to him. He didn’t want to see the worried looks on their faces. Instead he just kept his gaze straight ahead. It wasn’t the last time one of his legs slipped, but usually it was only a single one which, though frightening, wasn’t particularly dangerous. Only once did both his front and back leg fall off the side, bringing him down on the ledge. He barely had time to think when he felt his other hind leg slide off as well. His heart skipped a beat as he swung his foreleg back on the edge, allowing him to hang for his life. Twilight reacted quickly, and with a glow of magic managed to levitate Mac’s hind legs back onto relatively solid ground. The stallion rested for a moment, trying his hardest to slow his breath. But it wouldn’t stop its rapid pace no matter how hard he tried. He’d almost died, and all for the sake of a stupid bird. But he wasn’t doing it for the Squall’s sake, he wasn’t even doing it for Fluttershy. As he remembered that one fact, his breathing calmed. Slowly, he stood on all four hooves and tried to shake off the tiny spasms in his back legs where Twilight had magically held them. But they wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t until he stopped trying that he realized it wasn’t Twilight’s magic causing his condition; it was fear. Twilight and Fluttershy approached him as quickly as the forceful winds allowed them, but Big Macintosh raised a hoof to stop them. He bowed his head to Twilight in thanks, adjusted the bundle within his teeth, and trudged on. Macintosh’s steps weren’t as steady after that, though they were much more careful. As the three returned to their original position with Fluttershy in the middle, he realized that she was no longer the only one shivering. The red pony didn’t know how long they walked. It felt like hours, but without knowing the sun’s position he couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that each trip around the mountain, while still time-consuming, was becoming shorter. They finally stopped before a wall of rock cropping forward the higher it went. The only way through (besides flight or teleportation, the heavy winds making both a risky prospect) was a cave that led to who-knew-where. Big Macintosh was the first to step forward into the still darkness of the cave, and Fluttershy and Twilight followed soon after. Finally, the three found reprieve from the harsh winds. As Big Mac placed the wrapped Squall on his back, he saw nothing but black ahead of them. He looked over at the other two ponies to see them sharing the same look of worry. They were all asking the same question. How deep did the cave go and was there even an exit? Shaking the question out of his head, Big Macintosh wasted no time pressing forward with soft steps. The last thing he needed was to find some sudden pit in the path. His worry only lasted a second before Twilight’s horn glowed a dark ruddy purple, providing a soft light to see by. The cave walls were smooth, as if carved from the mountain rather than anything formed naturally. It was big enough for all three to comfortably stand side-by-side, and high enough to fit all three if they were to stand on each other’s backs if they were so inclined. “Are you okay?” The words seemed to burst out of Twilight as if anxious to get out. “Eeyup.” “Macintosh, you almost died! Are you sure?” Twilight asked, the disbelief apparent in her voice. “Eeyup,” he lied. Twilight looked at him for a moment before just nodding and stepping forward along with Macintosh. But they only took a few steps before they realized that Fluttershy wasn’t with them. They looked back to find the yellow pegasus frozen in place, not daring to go deeper. Twilight backtracked and stood by her friend, leaning against her to still the shivering mare. But the effort proved futile. “Fluttershy, what’s wrong?” Twilight asked as she rubbed the yellow mare’s back in an effort to calm her while Big Mac approached the two. “I-I’m sorry,” she said with a sob. “I’m so sorry for making you do this.” “No one’s making us do this,” Twilight assured her. “We’re doing this because we want to help you, and if this means so much to you that you’re willing to go through all this,” she said with a wave of her hoof gestured not only to the cave surrounding them but also to the situation as a whole, “then we’re right beside you.” “I-I know,” Fluttershy said, “but Big Macintosh almost…” she trailed off. “And I can’t do this if it means that my friends might-“ “Stop.” Big Macintosh said as he faced the pegasus. Surprised, Fluttershy looked up to meet his eyes. He grabbed the bundle from his back to place it between them. “Miss Shy, Ah’m the one that almost fell off that ledge, not you. And if ya ask me, feelin’ guilty about it is pretty dang selfish of ya. Almost dying is my burden ta carry, and if you want ta carry something then carry that bird. It’s why yer here in the first place, ain’t it?” Fluttershy’s gaze fell to the bird before coming back up to meet his gaze again. Her head dropped to grab the Squall and, slowly, she inched herself forward. It was enough, and the other two kept her pace. The walk was slow and monotonous, and no one quite knew how long and how far they traversed the inky black. Stranger still, their path bent and spiraled downward. Big Macintosh wondered for a brief moment whether they were just going to end up outside the mountain as part of a wild goose chase. It seemed to be the case as he saw the bright glow of daylight appear in the distance. Fluttershy sped up to a trot and suddenly Twilight and Big Macintosh found themselves having to catch up with her. But their elation didn’t last long as they realized that the exit didn’t lead outside as they had expected. Instead, they had entered a colossal hollow within the mountain. If Big Mac had to guess, he’d say that it was big enough to fit the Apple family barn and a couple of fields to boot. The grass beneath his hooves was only a fraction of the landscape within the hollow. On the other side, gushing through the rock wall, shimmered a stream of water that flowed into a small pool. The water fed not only the grass but the several flowers, shrubbery and a singular tree standing at the very center. The tree was bathed with light coming from up above. Looking up, Big Macintosh saw that the walls of the hollow formed a cone shape, not completely, which allowed the sun to shine brightly through. Oddly, the sun hung directly above them, thus setting the time at noon. Which was impossible, since it had been around noon when they had left for Zecora’s. The tree’s thick trunk held a great mass of leaves above it, stretched out a great many feet from the origin, but the greatest sign that the three had indeed arrived at their destination flittered through the branches with a rustle of leaves. They looked exactly like the bird bundled within the sheet that Fluttershy held, but with two distinct differences; their feathers didn’t shine in the light, but instead were a matte gray and they weren’t quite as big. They flew about between their twig nests and clusters of small, deep orange spheres nestled between the leaves. They took the spheres within their powerful beaks and broke the hard shells with a crack before taking the broken nut in their talon. Sometimes they would eat the softer insides immediately, other times they would bring the broken nut back to their nest. “Amazing,” Twilight said, approaching the center of the plain. “It’s an entire ecosystem isolated in such a small space. And judging by the size of this tree, this system has been in place for decades, if not centuries. Can you imagine?” she asked no one in particular, which was fine since no one really paid her any attention. The sun above still held Mac’s focus while Fluttershy began digging at the ground with her hoof. Once he heard the distinctive sound of a hoof scratching against dirt, Big Macintosh looked at the pegasus for a moment. He fought the urge to help her, knowing that this was something the pegasus had to do on her own. It meant the most to her. “I wonder what kind of tree this is,” Twilight continued as she placed a hoof to the trunk. As soon as the pony touched the wood the fluttering of wings seemed to cease as every bird suddenly found the unicorn highly interesting. “Uh, Twilight,” Mac said, noticing where the Squalls held their sights. But she ignored him. “It’s obviously a nut-bearing tree, but those require much more sunlight than could possibly shine through the ceiling each day.” The unicorn caught sight of a low-hanging fruit and reached for it. As soon as her hoof touched the shell the sky seemed to darken. Twilight looked up wide-eyed as, in a frenzy of feathers and squawks, the birds descended upon her. With a sudden shriek, Twilight ran from the pecking beaks and scratching talons while trying to bat them away with a flailing foreleg. Big Macintosh quickly sprinted to meet her and the unicorn dove beneath him as her saddlebag fell from her. He tried his best to swat away the flock, but only received a few scratches for his efforts. Amongst all the chaos, Big Macintosh saw a familiar yellow blur as Fluttershy darted into the mass of birds. “Please stop,” she said, and Big Mac was surprised by her even tone. Her plea seemed to work as the birds stopped their onslaught for the moment. Some alighted to the ground while others kept their place in the air. “Please,” the pegasus continued, “she didn’t mean to offend you. We just came here to…to lay one of your own to rest.” The Squalls, however, did not react kindly to this and screeched and cried at her as if threatening to attack again. “I tried everything I could to help him,” Fluttershy went on in hopes of calming the flock, “but I couldn’t.” She took a moment to wipe her eyes with a foreleg before going on. “So we came here to bring him back home.” The mass of birds looked at her with the same observation that reminded Big Macintosh of the eyes of the Ursa Major when she had looked at him. It was a stare that seemed to look past the physical world and into one of heartfelt sentiments, emotions, and the words and actions used to express them. Satisfied, the birds flew off with a final gust of air from their flapping wings. Half of them returned to the tree holding their nests, and the other half soared upwards through the hole in the ceiling. Their feathers shone brightly once they flew above the peak, much like the bundled Squall’s had done at Zecora’s hut. That’s when Big Macintosh realized that the light above them was no sun, but rather a gathering of birds. “I don’t think they like it when you touch their food,” Fluttershy said quietly to Twilight as she turned towards the other two ponies and crouched down to look at the unicorn. “No kidding,” Twilight said as she moved to get out from under Big Macintosh. “Thanks Fluttershy, and you too Macintosh.” “It’s okay,” the pegasus said before walking to the grave to continue her digging, while Macintosh only nodded his response. But Twilight didn’t seem to notice either of them as she became enraptured in her new findings. “Incredible,” the unicorn said, looking up at the false sun, “If we’re to assume that they’re the same gender as the Squall that Fluttershy took care of, then it seems like the males reflect enough sunlight for the tree to grow, while the smaller females gather food. But why did they attack me when I touched the tree?” Macintosh rolled his eyes as he moved towards Fluttershy. She had finished her digging, the hole she made deep and squared and with plenty of room for the deceased. The pegasus looked at him for a moment before she shifted her attention to the bundle lying next to her. Without a word, Big Macintosh lifted the bundle with his teeth and lowered it into the grave. Twilight joined the two as the stallion began filling up the Squall’s final resting place. He finished with a final pat on the mound of dirt and Twilight levitated a sizable rock towards them to mark the grave. The three stood in silence. None of them could say how long the quiet lasted in the hollow where the light of a noon sun always shone. “Goodbye,” Fluttershy whispered at last. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help.” “Ya brought ‘im home,” Macintosh said. “Celestia knows that’s all Ah would ever want.” The pegasus only nodded before turning towards the stallion. “Uh, Big Macintosh... what do you think happens when we die?” “Well,” Big Macintosh took several moments to collect his thoughts. The question was a heavy one, and he didn’t want to leave the answer half done. “Ah guess Ah sorta always believed that once an earth pony dies they get buried so they can feed the earth. Ah’m gonna die at the Acres so Ah always thought that my body would go an’ feed the apple trees at the orchard an’ then those apples would feed my descendents.” “Oh,” the pegasus said, “but, that’s just your body Big Macintosh.” He smiled at her. “Ah am my body, Miss Shy, but Ah s’pose Ah really liked what Miss Zecora said.” He remained quiet for awhile before asking, “So what do you think happens when we go, Miss Shy?” “Oh, um…” Fluttershy mumbled. “Well…” she paused her stuttering for moment to scratch at the grass beneath her hoof. “Once I tried to take care of Princess Celestia’s pet phoenix.” She turned towards Twilight. “Do you remember when we tried to take care of Philomena?” she asked. “How can I forget?” Twilight said, “It might have been a long time ago but I still laugh about it.” Despite her statement, her downcast eyes and deep frown didn’t seem in any sort of laughing mood. Fluttershy nodded before looking back at Macintosh and speaking in her usual whisper. “There was a moment where I thought she…died. When I held her ashes I felt like I failed. As if I had let Philomena, the princess, Twilight, and myself down. I’ve taken care of a lot of animals and not all of them…make it,” she used a leg to wipe her eyes that didn’t have tears. “But I think, even though they don’t come back to life like a phoenix, that after they…after we die we keep living but…somewhere else, I think.” Twilight was quiet for a few seconds. They all were, until her eyes stopped at the small mound of dirt and the rock that marked the grave. “I’m sorry about the Squall, Fluttershy. I’m sure you did everything you could for him.” “I know,” Fluttershy whispered. “I just…I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.” “Would ya really wan’ it ta stop hurtin’ every time an animal dies?” Big Macintosh asked. “No.” She didn’t hesitate. “I...I don’t want to be the kind of pony that doesn’t feel anything when...that happens.” “You said you were going to die at Sweet Apple Acres,” Twilight suddenly spoke up as she looked at the farmpony. “As if it was certain. How do you…picture it?” Big Macintosh didn’t have to think for long. “It’s sunset on the last day of Applebuck season and Ah’m headin’ to the barn pullin’ a cart with the very last apples of the harvest. Ah go in and unhitch myself. My legs are hurtin’ and my back aches but all my chores are done. Ah decide ta take a nap right there in the barn on a big pile of straw. Then all that ache and all that tired just goes away and Ah never wake up again.” Twilight looked back and forth between Fluttershy and Macintosh, and he could see her eyes start to water. “How can it be so easy for the two of you? Macintosh, what if it doesn’t turn out like you planned? What if something happens and you end up dying in some ditch in the forest? I mean, you almost died today far away from home. And Fluttershy, what if you’re wrong about what happens after death. What if…what if…” “Twilight, what’s wrong?” Fluttershy asked as she stepped next to the unicorn. Twilight could only sit and lean against her friend. “It’s nothing, I’m fine,” she said meekly, as if realizing the feebleness of her assertion. Quietly, Big Macintosh approached and sat beside her. “Ah remember you sayin’ that it ain’t right ta leave a friend in need be, even if they don’t want any help,” he said softly. “And I remember you saying that your burdens are yours and yours alone to carry,” Twilight retorted. “Eeyup, Ah did. My burdens are my own ta carry, but Ah can carry yers too. Ah can handle it, believe me, my back’s strong enough,” he said with a soft smile. Twilight wiped her eyes as she nodded. She didn’t make eye contact with either of them and instead gazed intently at the ground. “I know what happens after we die.” “R-really?” Fluttershy whispered as if Twilight had said a foul word. “How?” “Remember when that cockatrice turned me into stone?” Twilight answered with her own question. Fluttershy replied but in a voice so quiet no one could hear her. So she simply gestured yes with a nod. “I was on my way to Zecora’s when I heard a rustling in a few bushes.” Twilight’s voice wavered as she recalled that night. “The last thing I remember was seeing the cockatrice and then...nothing. That’s what happens when we die: nothing. For all intents and purposes I was dead, and all I saw was black. When I was turned back to normal, it was like waking up from a dreamless sleep.” Neither Fluttershy nor Big Macintosh said anything for a long while. The only sound that could be heard was the splash of the gurgling stream and Twilight’s quiet sniffs. Slowly, Fluttershy brought a hoof to the unicorn’s shoulder. “You didn’t die,” she said. “I did,” Twilight insisted. “Then how are ya here right now, Miss Sparkle?” Big Macintosh asked. “Ya almost died, and almost dying ain’t the same as the real thing. Believe me, Ah know.” Twilight didn’t respond and only looked down at her hooves. “Besides, Ah don’t think that’s what’s buggin’ ya.” The unicorn’s head jerked upward to glare at him along with Fluttershy, though her own look was more one of simple confusion. “Ya heard me,” Big Macintosh said as he stared right back at Twilight. “You ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’ happenin’ after death. Ah think yer scared ‘cause ya can’t know what happens after death, and you can’t handle not knowin’.” “Yeah, because I actually like using my intelligence,” Twilight said as she stood up and walked over to face him. “And I’m not some stubborn stallion who’s perfectly content with having blinders on. Do you know how hard it is for me to accept the fact that, no matter how much I research and how hard I try to comprehend, this one bit of knowledge will remain out of my reach until I actually go through it?” She paced back and forth in front of the red pony, and he could see tears start to flow down her cheeks. “I’ve devoted my life trying to understand the world, but there’s no book in any library that can help me understand what happens after I close my eyes for good. That scares me more than anything else.” She stopped in front of Macintosh to stare at him. “I wouldn’t feel so bad if I just knew, if I just…” She couldn’t continue, the strain on her voice too great as her tears gained force and number and started to freely flow from her eyes. Big Macintosh didn’t say a thing and only wrapped a foreleg around her neck and drew her to him in a hug. She didn’t resist, and buried her head in his chest. “C’mon now sugarcube,” he whispered. “There ain’t no reason for ya ta worry about those kinds of things when yer so young. Take it from a pony that’s closer to the end than you are.” “You’re not that much older than me,” came her muffled reply. He chuckled, “Nnope. But the way things are goin’, what with me fallin’ offa ledges and gettin’ crushed by applecarts, that ain’t gonna matter much.” “How can you joke about those things? Especially falling off the mountain.” Twilight said as she looked up at him. “Ah survived, didn’t Ah?” he said calmly as he rubbed a gentle hoof along her back. “Twilight, the thing about death is that it can happen at anytime. Yeah, we all got those moments where we can’t help thinkin’ about it, and that’s normal. Heck, Ah worry all the time about what my family’s gonna do once Ah go. But worryin’ about it ain’t gonna change anythin’, so why bother?” “He’s right, Twilight,” Fluttershy said gently as she approached the two. “You don’t think about death all the time, do you?” “I don’t,” the unicorn confessed with a sigh. Her crying calmed and her breathing returned to a slow pace. Twilight looked at her two friends with a smile. “Thanks you two.” Fluttershy nodded happily as she laid herself down next to Big Macintosh, his arms still wrapped around Twilight. He looked down at the unicorn whose puffy eyes were focused on the pegasus next to them. He was glad she stopped crying, but how much longer were they going to stay in this position? “Uh, Twilight?” he asked. She looked up. “Yeah?” she asked, not a hint of awkwardness in her voice. Again she showed that social ineptness that allowed her to see their position as nothing more than friends being friends. He looked at her, and after having his own mental debate finally said “Nothin’.” Twilight looked at him quizzically before turning her head to comfortably lean against his chest once more. The three were quiet for a few minutes before Fluttershy broke the silence. “Thank you, both of you. I don’t think I could have made this trip without you.” “That’s what friends are for,” Twilight said with a smile. -*- Other than the few slips here and there, the trip back down was uneventful and absolutely wordless. The only sound came from the wind and the trio’s hoofsteps. Their surroundings became dimmer as the unseen sun undoubtedly began its descent. Though how close it came to the horizon was impossible to tell. The way Macintosh saw it, they either had an hour of sunlight or three. By the time they entered the thick forest of the Everfree, Twilight was ahead of the other two. Her steps seemed lighter, as if a weight had been taken off her back. Neither Fluttershy nor Big Macintosh really minded, they were just happy that she had stopped worrying about the end. “After awhile,” Fluttershy spoke, “when he realized he couldn’t fly anymore, he looked out the window sometimes,” she said, recounting another story. “The look in his face when he stared out to the sky... it kind of reminds me of the way you look, Big Macintosh.” The farmpony just nodded. “Ah s’pose since Ah’ve been injured Ah sorta been missin’ my work. But that ain’t no real secret.” Fluttershy’s cheeks suddenly turned a light red. “Actually, um, I meant… nevermind.” He quirked an eyebrow at her, but didn’t say anything more. He thought that would be the end of their conversation, but it wasn’t. “Um, Big Macintosh?” Fluttershy spoke again, and the workpony simply grunted to signal that he was paying attention. “Do you, um, like being a farmer?” she asked. “ ‘course Ah do, ain’t nothin’ Ah’d rather be,” Big Mac said without hesitation. “Oh…did you always want to be a farmer?” She turned to look at him, but he wouldn’t return her look. “Miss Shy, just what in the hay are ya gettin’ at?” He asked, a bit annoyed at the yellow mare’s questions. “I’m sorry, I’m just curious,” Fluttershy said as she returned her sight to the path ahead of them. This time, Big Macintosh was sure their conversation had ended for good and again he was wrong. “You know, most birds are meant to fly,” Fluttershy continued in a whisper. “But when they can’t they start having a...look in their eyes. It reminds me of your eyes, how they’re almost closed all the time...” Big Macintosh didn’t say anything, and so the pegasus spoke further. “Do you think that, um, you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing?” The farmpony looked at her as if she had said the moon was falling. “Miss Shy, a pony ain’t meant ta do anythin’ other than what makes ‘em happy. And there ain’t nothin’ in this world that makes me happier than providin’ for my family. That look yer talkin’ about must just be a coincidence.” “I...I guess,” Fluttershy mumbled. “As long as you’re happy.” The conversation over for good, Macintosh nodded to the pegasus before looking straight ahead. It wasn’t long until they finally left the Everfree Forest and saw that the sun had just begun its final descent below the horizon. Soon after, they arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage. The goodbyes were short, the kind of goodbyes tired ponies gave each other after a long day. Twilight and Macintosh wordlessly headed for the library. The sun finally disappeared below the landscape and night fell over the almost empty streets of Ponyville. Thankfully, there was no cold breeze to send chills across the walking ponies and the air was completely still. “Macintosh?” Twilight’s voice peeped up. “Eeyup?” “I know you don’t think about death a lot, but,” she quieted down as she looked at her hooves, “are you scared of it? I know that it’s pointless to worry about something outside of my control, but is it just as irrational to fear it?” “Twilight,” Big Macintosh whispered, “Ah’m scared too.” The unicorn didn’t look at him, and only nodded as she inched herself closer to him. Another bout of silence overtook the two. Macintosh focused on the stars above while Twilight kept looking downward towards her hooves. “I know I already said this, but thanks. You really risked a lot to help out Fluttershy,” Twilight finally said. “You risked a lot, too,” he said. “Yeah, but she’s one of my best friends. You hardly know her, and I really appreciate you doing this for her.” “Ta be honest, Ah wasn’t doin’ it for her,” he said. He immediately wished he hadn’t as Twilight stopped in her tracks. “Wait, what?” she said as she looked at him in disbelief, “then why did you do it?” “Ah wanted somethin’ to do,” he said as he moved forward. “You…wanted something to do,” Twilight repeated as she followed him. “Macintosh, no offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. Nopony risks their life just for something to do.” Big Macintosh sighed. “Miss Sparkle, ya know what Ah did this mornin’? Ah tasted cake with Pinkie Pie. Ya know what Ah did yesterday? Ah went to a spa with Rarity and Rainbow Dash. Now Ah ain’t sayin’ that Ah don’t like spendin’ time with y’all, ‘cause Ah do. But it’s been a while since Ah actually did something important. An’ today, Ah never felt better than when Ah climbed that dang mountain and buried that bird.” “Macintosh,” Twilight said slowly, as if still trying to comprehend the stallion’s words, “you can’t have done all that just because you need to feel useful.” “Eeyup,” came his simple answer. “It’s why Ah use a rusty plow blade instead of a new one. It’s why Ah use a plow during Winter Wrap-Up but a shovel when Ah clear snow offa Ponyville’s roads, it’s why Ah bucked apple trees by myself before AJ was old enough. Ah’m a farmpony, a big brother, and a grandson and if Ah don’t go ta bed feelin’ tired, mentally or physically, or if Ah don’t spend the day doin’ one of those three things then Ah’ll feel like that day wasn’t worth it.” “Worth what?” Twilight asked. By then the pair arrived at Twilight’s library, and Big Macintosh couldn’t help but feel relieved. “Goodnight, Miss Sparkle,” he said as he turned towards the opposite direction. “Fine, Macintosh.” The words made him pause with their deceptive finality. He knew there was more she would say and more she expected him to say. A gentle breeze began to pick up and instantly it felt as if he were back on that mountain, on that spiraling path with his hooves inches from falling off the ledge. He didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to face that mare who looked at him the same way she looked at her books and asked him questions he didn’t want to answer. “But I want to ask you one last thing, and I want you to answer me honestly,” Twilight said. Finally he forced himself to turn and face her. They stared at each other, she with a prying scrutiny as she stood in front of her home of immeasurable knowledge and he with his uncomplicated and half-lidded stare while he stood out in the open, an easy target. The unicorn continued. “You’re a big brother, a grandson, and a farmpony, and you want to feel useful. That’s fine. But what happens when you can’t be all those things as much as you want? Applejack’s told me how much trouble you’ve had from being unable to work, and that’s only after two months. But there’s going to be a day when you can’t work the farm as much as you’d like. There’s going to be a day when Applejack and Applebloom won’t need you as much, and I’m sorry to say this but I think that day’s already here. What happens then, Big Macintosh, when you can’t be a farmpony, when you can’t be a big brother, and when you’re not a grandson anymore?” Macintosh looked at her for a while as his thoughts turned towards his family and his home. He knew she was right, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. Not yet. Finally, he decided to simply answer her honestly just as she wanted him to. “Ah don’t know,” his voice was quiet, “and that scares me much more than the thought of dyin’. Ain’t no amount of yer thinkin’ or my workin’ is gonna change that,” he said. “I guess not,” Twilight said as she looked down at her hooves once again. “Goodnight, Miss Sparkle,” Big Macintosh said, and with that, he turned around and headed home. Leaving the unicorn alone on her porch to stare at him as he left. The walk back to Sweet Apple Acres was much colder than usual. He allowed himself to shiver, just slightly. -*- “Howdy, big brother,” Applejack said as Big Macintosh entered the kitchen. She looked ready for bed, her hat and hair bands missing from her head. He noticed a glass of milk and a plate of oatmeal cookies sitting in front of her. “Just gettin’ a snack before bed,” she explained when she saw where his eyes were focused. Big Mac nodded as he went to fetch his own glass of milk. “How was plowin’ the field?” “Ah think it went pretty good. Wasn’t as hard as Ah thought it would be once Ah put in the new blade,” she chuckled. “Ah put yer harness in your room by yer Miss Smartypants doll. Ya know, Ah think maybe Ah could plow a bit more around the farm. Maybe help ya out a bit.” He didn’t say anything. A simple nod signaled that he heard her. He placed his glass of milk next to hers and sat beside her. “Where’s Applebloom and Granny Smith?” he asked. “Well, Applebloom’s over at Rarity’s for a sleepover with her friends, an’ Granny Smith is upstairs turnin’ in for bed,” she said. He gave her another nod. “Seems like Applebloom sleeps over with her friends more than she sleeps here.” Applejack just laughed. “Nah, at most its about once every couple of weeks.” “Still feels like Ah hardly see her,” he said before taking a sip from his glass. “That’s ‘cause she’s usually in bed once ya get home.” He nodded and took another sip. Twilight’s words kept replaying over and over in his head. He didn’t know how long he could keep being a farmpony, but maybe he could prolong being a big brother for just a while longer. “When was the last time we went campin’?” he asked his sister. Applejack stared at him with a tilt of her head. “Well that was outta the blue. Ah don’t know, Ah guess since Applebloom was just a baby.” She tipped her glass to finish the last of her milk. “How ‘bout you, Applebloom and me go this weekend,” he said. The sudden declaration caused Applejack to gag on her milk. She finally swallowed her drink and began coughing violently. Her big brother patted her back and waited patiently for her to regain composure. “What about the farm?” she finally said. “It’ll be fine for a few days.” “Wait,” she said with a shake of her head. “Yer telling me that the farm will be okay without us for a weekend? Are ya feelin’ okay, Mac?” “Eeyup.” Applejack tapped her chin in thought. “Well Ah guess that’d be fine. But we’ll probably have ta work a bit harder through the week to make up for the missed days. And we’ll have ta rebuild the cart ta hold all our gear... and Ah guess we’ll be going to our usual camping spot, so that’s gonna be fun. Yeah, that’s a mighty fine idea now that Ah think about it.” Big Macintosh smiled and brought his forelegs around his sister for a hug. Applejack let out a small yelp of surprise, but before she could say anything she was released from the embrace. The eldest Apple placed his glass in the sink and headed for bed, leaving his sister at the kitchen table to stare at him as he left. As he approached the top floor, he heard the familiar sound of Granny Smith gurgling some water in the upstairs bathroom. Big Macintosh saw the elderly mare heading for her room as he climbed up to the landing. A sudden question struck him and, before he could think otherwise, he spoke. “What do ya think happens when we die?” he blurted out. Granny Smith seemed to take the question in stride as she turned to look at her grandson. “Ya haven’t asked me a question like that since ya were jus’ a colt. What’s got ya so worked up about death all a sudden?” “Ah just...wanna know,” he said. She nodded sagely before stepping towards the stallion and placed a gentle hoof on the back of his neck. “Now listen here, Macintosh. Once ya get ta be mah age ya start ta realize that ya’ve lived a good life. Ya have children, and they have children, and, if those children ever get enough sense to git off the farm fer a spell an’ meet a nice mare ‘r colt, they have children.” Granny Smith looked at him meaningfully, but Big Macintosh pretended not to know what his grandmother was getting at and only gave her his usual blank expression. With a small chuckle, she continued. “Ya got a head full a memories, a heart full a love an’ regret, an’ a body that’s plum tuckered out. An’ while ya wish ya could stay awhile longer, ya realize that it can’t last forever an’ ya really don’t wan’ it to anyway. If Ah were ta die tomorrow, Ah’d die happy. As fer what happens after that? Well, whatever happens happens and Ah’ll be ready ta face it. Do ya understand?” Big Macintosh did, or at least, most of it. He nodded to his grandmother, and she smiled. “Good,” she said with a smile as she removed her hoof from around her grandson. “Say, Ah ever tell ya how Ah met yer grandfather at his bakery?” Macintosh smiled at the old mare, “Ah don’t think so granny. How’d ya meet ‘im?”