“Careful, Chief.”
“I know, Morte.”
“No, but I really mean it. Careful.”
“Morte, I know.”
“Caaaaaarefully.”
“Morte—”
“Nice and slow, keep it going.”
“Morte, I swear if you don’t shut up.”
“Chief, no! No! It’s falling apart!”
“Stop screaming in my ear!”
“Nooooooooo!”
The tower of wooden blocks tumbled to the ground, much like Nameless’ hopes and dreams, along with Morte’s unlife expectancy.
“Ha! I told you I’d win!” Luna said, beaming at the two with a confidently smug grin of the newly victorious. This was, of course, followed by pointing her tongue at them.
“How could I lose to someone who doesn’t even have fingers at a game of Jenga?” Nameless questioned himself. His fingers feebly clutched at the fallen pieces.
Morte floated down and snapped his boney teeth together, shaking his head—which was an odd phenomenon since he was just a floating skull hanging in the air. “Damn, Chief, you just lost some major rep right there. I don’t know how you’ll be able to live with yourself.”
Nameless growled at Morte, causing the gravity-defying skull to scamper behind Luna’s back. “You’re about to know just how hard living is once I’m done with you.”
Luna giggled under her breath. “You two are quite a pair.” She poked Morte’s eyehole, him being completely unresponsive. “How long have you known one another?”
“Oh, we go waaaaaaay back,” Morte said. “Before this knucklehead could remember.”
“Is that supposed to be a joke?” Nameless asked.
“No, but your sex life is!” Morte laughed to himself, alone, the one chuckle in Luna’s room as the others stared at him silently. He didn’t seem to mind, however. “Ah, that still kills it. Just like Chief whenever he loses his memory.”
“I heard about that from my sister,” Luna said. “It must be terrible. Going through death so many times and not remembering a thing from it.”
Nameless shrugged, picking back up the pieces of the Jenga game. “It happens.”
“Way to articulate your deeper feelings and thoughts, Chief.”
Before Chief could reply with a snappy rebuttal, he paused, his head immediately turning towards the balcony in Luna’s room. “Did you hear that?”
“What?”
“I don’t have ears,” Morte reminded him.
Nameless peered at the balcony closely, his gaze never breaking. “I swore I just heard some shattering glass and then a really high-pitched voice screaming before it hit the earth with a wet crunch, breaking all their bones in their body simultaneously.”
“Y’know,” Morte said, “it could have been a pigeon.”
Nameless was already at the balcony, staring overhead as his eyes scanned the tower’s walls. “Luna, is Celestia’s bedroom right above yours?”
Luna joined him at the balcony. “Yes, a few stories higher. Why?”
“I think she could be in danger.” Nameless checked over the railing to the ground below. “That shrill shrieking was much too girlish for even Celestia to have produced. She most likely kicked someone out of a window of her room. But who? Who could possibly—”
Nameless’ cell phone started to play the Looney Tunes’ theme song.
Luna glanced at the phone he immediately pulled out of his pocket and asked, “Isn’t that a drug dealer’s cell phone?”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“You watch too much Breaking Bad.”
“Aha, so it is!”
Nameless rolled his eyes and flipped his phone open. “Yes?”
“Yo, home dawg, what’s up in da hiz house?”
Nameless groaned deeply for a good ten seconds. “Deadpool.” Luna’s ears perked up at the mention of his name. “What is it?”
“Just wondering what you’re up to.”
“Lost a game of a Jenga.”
“Heh, playing Jenga with Luna at two in the morning and losing every time. That brings me back, man.” A sigh of nostalgia followed this.
Nameless tapped his foot on the ground, but as the sigh went on for a good half-minute he finally asked, “Anything else, Deadpool?”
“Lemme see… oh, right.” Dramatic pause followed this. “There’s a vampire invasion about to go after Celestia to bone her.”
Nameless stared at the receiver of his phone, then arched a brow. Luna whisked the phone out of his hand with her magic and asked, “When will they arrive?”
“Oh, I’m thinking pretty soon. Like, now. One of them tried to off me after some bad experiences in the past. He’s dead now. And was quite delicious, I might add.”
“How many vampires are we talking here?”
“Uhhhhhhhhh, probably, like, a lot.”
Luna frowned. “What do you mean by ‘a lot?’”
“Like, a lot a lot which is a lot.”
Luna groaned, much like Nameless did not thirty seconds ago. “Great, why am I not surprised. I’ll get the garlic cloves and stakes I suppose. Too bad the last of the holy water was ruined by you.”
“Hey, I thought that was mouthwash! How was I supposed to know?”
Luna gritted her teeth. “Fine, fine, whatever. Anything else we should know before the blood-suckers arrive?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh yeah. I found out from chocolate boy who their boss is. Some dude so over-powered he’s practically OP, which in itself is pretty redundant but gets the point across how OP he is. Which is pretty frickin’ OP, I might add.”
“Any idea how to defeat him?”
“I’m getting the one item that can right at this moment! So, like, keep away and avoid pissing him off in the mean time.”
“How will we know what he looks like?” Luna asked.
Deadpool sniggered from the other end of the line. “Oh, trust me on this, you’ll know.”
The screams of the blood-addicted echoed in the halls of the castle, shattering air of stillness like a brick breaking through glass. Spine-tingling screams soon followed, and right outside Luna’s door could be heard bloodcurdling howls for what these home invaders truly wanted: fresh meat.
“He’s a pretty tough guy to miss.”