Twilight pulled the scarf that Rarity had made for her tighter around her neck as she stood in the early morning snow up past her fetlocks. The rest of her little party stood all around her. She and her pony friends were wearing heavy robes of cloth provided by Cadance and Shining Armor to help protect them against the cold. Her human friends seemed only to need their armor. Church and Washington remained still at her side, Donut and Caboose were trying to start a snowball fight with Simmons, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack were galloping back and forth. Whether it was some competition they had started or simply an effort to keep warm, Twilight couldn’t say. Likely both.
Shining Armor and Princess Cadance stood across from her with a small retinue of troops by their side. Just behind them, Twilight could see the distant form of the Crystal Empire off on the horizon, the tallest spire of the palace cutting through the descending snow.
“Well, this is where the Crystal Empire borders with the Old Kingdoms,” Cadance said, her mane slowly turning white as more snowflakes made their perch on it. “Are you sure you don’t want us to take you further?”
Twilight opened her pocket dimension and brought out their transcription of Recolta Bogada, along with a relatively recent map of the Frozen North. “According to what we found, the ruins we’re looking for are at Stonespire Mountain, less than a couple days’ walk from here. We can’t miss it.”
Shining adjusted his black scarf and raised his protective eyemask. “Twily, you know better than I do the things that live in the North. On top of that, our scouts have reported activity from a very large unidentified company of sellswords in the area. It would really make me feel better if you had an escort.”
“If there’s any chance Project Freelancer is around, a full military contingent is going to draw too much attention,” Twilight countered.
“Not only that, but your forces aren’t ready to face soldiers of Freelancer’s level quite yet,” Washington pointed out. “We don’t want to risk any lives unnecessarily.”
Looking back at her little group of friends, Twilight looked at her brother imploringly. “Trust me, big brother. Wash and the others are all the protection I’ll need.”
Shining looked ready to protest, but he reluctantly relented, giving Twilight a nod. “Okay,” he said, moving in to give his sister a nuzzle. “Stay safe, Twily.”
“Always, big brother.”
Cadance was next to say her goodbyes. As she nuzzled her sister-in-law, Cadance leaned in to whisper, “So, how about you and that cobalt one? Church, is it?”
Twilight pulled back and glared at her old foalsitter (but not before glancing back at a blissfully unaware Church to see if he heard her). “Really, Cadance? You’re doing this now?”
Cadance bit her lip in a vain effort to suppress the grin creeping across her muzzle. Twilight had flashbacks of going on walks through Canterlot with Cadance as a filly. She remembered how her foalsitter would ask about every colt her age they happened to come across, and how annoying it had been. Twilight knew it was all in jest, though, and took it in stride.
“Make sure to come back to us safely,” Cadance said much more seriously. “I’d like to spend some time together without some threat looming over Equestria,”
After the others had said their farewells, the two groups parted ways, with the rulers of the Crystal Empire heading back towards their domain, and Twilight’s group bound for the Frozen North.
“So, what did the pink one say to you?” Church asked once they were on their way.
“Nothing!” Twilight exclaimed very quickly.
“She said something awkward about us, didn’t she?”
Twilight felt her snout scrunch. “She’s the Princess of Love and Romance. It comes with the territory.”
“Pfft. Now there’s a title I’m sure inspires fear in her enemies,” Church said, before musing. “Say, if what you told us last night is true, does that mean you’re a princess as well?”
Twilight winced a little and her heart caught in her chest as she remembered that little revelation. There was nothing proving it had any legitimacy, but the more she thought about it….
“Sorry. Guess you’re still wrapping your mind around that whole thing.”
“No, it’s okay,” Twilight said distantly. “And no. I wouldn’t have any legitimate claim to the throne.”
With nothing more to say, Twilight decided to press forward, forcing herself to focus on the upcoming expedition instead. Needless to say, she’d need to ask Princess Celestia about this “Sacred Home of House Warmblood” when this was over.
Just when I thought she was finally telling me everything…
It was a deceptively bright and sunny day in downtown Canterlot. Rarity tried not to let the tension show in her features as she watched the various high-class citizens walk down the streets, blissfully unaware they were dangling on the precipice of destruction. It was all Rarity could do not to think about the fact that her life and those of all around her could be ended at any moment with the push of a button. She merely took another bite of the bagel on the table in front of her as she continued to scan the crowd of the open-air restaurant.
There were two reasons Rarity had picked the outdoor establishment, the Secret Jewel, as her lunch destination. Firstly, it was one of the few decent restaurants in the uppermost districts of Canterlot that didn’t require a week’s advance reservation to get in. Secondly and much more importantly, however, was the fact that it also happened to be where the stallion she’d been hoping to meet ate for lunch every Wednesday. Sure enough, another look at the entrance and Rarity spotted the stallion in question chatting amicably with the maitre d’.
He was a white unicorn with an azure mane, tail, and mustache, well dressed in a suit complete with a purple bow tie and a monocle over his left eye. Accompanying him was a similarly white unicorn mare with a pale pink mane and a slim, shapely figure befitting her status as a supermodel. Rarity smiled and waved them over.
“Rarity!” the stallion exclaimed in his sophisticated Canterlot accent as he went to meet her, taking her hoof in his own and eloquently planting a kiss on it. “What a pleasant surprise bumping into you again!”
“It’s lovely to see you again, Fancy Pants,” Rarity said before turning to the mare beside him. “You as well, Fleur. Would you both care to join me?”
The two Canterlot ponies pulled up a couple of chairs, and soon the three of them were sitting together.
“I must say, you should have told me you were in town, my dear,” Fancy said after he and Fleur had ordered their food. “You must have been in Canterlot for a few days at the very least, what with the proverbial gates to the city still closed.”
“So sorry, Fancy, but I’ve been quite busy the past week.” Rarity decided there was no reason to explain she’d just arrived in Canterlot that morning via the Crystal Caverns.
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and the humans were still waiting for her there. It was all Rarity could do not to scowl at the thought of a certain aqua-armored human’s continued insistence on being as contrarian as possible when she explained her plan to gather information in the city. She couldn’t figure out why, but for some reason that particular man irked her more than anyone in Equestria ever had.
“Well, let it be known I would’ve thrown a smashing party in your honor had I known you were here,” Fancy Pants continued. “If you’re still around next week, you could accompany me to this year’s Canterlot Garden Party. Of course, assuming the castle isn’t still closed off….”
“Are you still staying at ze castle?” asked Fleur in her thick Phrench accent.
“No,” Rarity answered, silently thankful that the supermodel had steered the conversation in exactly the direction she wanted to take it. “As a matter of fact, I was hoping to ask a favor of you in that regard.”
Fancy Pants and Fleur exchanged a look as Rarity continued, “I need to get into the castle… discreetly.”
“Well… the castle has been closed off to everypony ever since the city closed its gates,” Fancy explained, looking at Rarity with increasing concern. “My dear… you wouldn’t happen to know something about what’s going on, would you?”
Rarity chewed her lip. She’d been hoping they wouldn’t ask too many questions about the situation, but ponies were inherently curious. With her status as an Element Bearer becoming public information after the events of the Royal Wedding, Rarity shouldn’t have expected anything less.
“I’m afraid it’s a matter of national security, and I can’t disclose anything more.” No reason to work them up into a panic by explaining the worst case scenario.
“You don’t mean like ze…” Fleur swallowed, and her eyes took on a fearful look. “Changeling attack?”
According to rumor, Fleur had been kidnapped and replaced by a changeling some time before the infamous attack during the Royal Wedding. It would certainly explain the sudden change in her usually confident demeanor.
“No. This is nothing like that,” Rarity answered. It’s far worse.
“Well, I can’t say I know of a way to enter the castle, but I might know somepony who does,” Fancy Pants said, instantly brightening Rarity’s hopes. “Apparently, a member of the nobility actually managed to escape the castle some point after it was locked down. He’s been telling absurd tales about the castle being occupied by strange beings the princesses are powerless to stop.”
Rarity grinned. It sounded like this pony was her ticket into Canterlot Castle! Then Fancy Pants told her the pony’s name and Rarity’s smile did a complete one-eighty. Apparently, she was wrong: There was a pony in Equestria that irked her more than Tucker. Her mind was a foggy haze as Fancy Pants told her he was going to a dinner party at the pony’s manor that very evening, and that if she wanted, he could bring her along as his guest. Her own voice barely registered in her mind as she thanked Fleur Dis Lee and Fancy Pants, put down a few bits on the table, and walked out of the restaurant.
As she made her way down the street, Rarity’s mind filled with a dozen ways the coming evening could play out, all of them unpleasant. Before too long, she made it back to Canterlot Lake, a rather secluded public park that just so happened to have an entrance to the Crystal Caverns behind a waterfall that fed its namesake body of water. From there it was a relatively short trot down into the caves until they opened up into the abandoned mining facility she and the others had made camp at.
Dozens of wood and iron machines stood all around them, their interlocking gears towering overhead, rotted and rusty from years of disuse. A web of minecart tracks spread down into the maze of tunnels below. The rest of her group quietly sat around an old storage shed, fidgeting restlessly until they saw her return.
“Rarity’s back! Rarity’s back! Rarity’s back!” Pinkie Pie chanted, bouncing circles around the nervous fashionista as her voice echoed around the cavern.
“Get any good intel from yer high-society buddies?” Sarge asked as he, Fluttershy, Tucker and the other two Reds fell into place around her.
“I think I’ve found somepony who can get us into the castle. Fancy Pants is taking me to dine with him this evening,” Rarity tried to maintain an air of absolute confidence.
“Finally! A chance to get out of here and get some decent grub,” Tucker said all too enthusiastically.
“No, Tucker. I told you, you and the others need to stay here until we’re ready to enter the castle,” Rarity said with an exasperated sigh. “We can’t risk Project Freelancer finding out what we’re doing before we can get their transmitter, and you humans aren’t exactly inconspicuous.”
“But I’m getting boooored,” Tucker whined. “I don’t know how much longer I can just sit around and do nothing.”
“Pfft. Speak for yourself, Blue,” Grif muttered.
“Sí. Nadie ha hablado conmigo en horas (Yes. Nobody’s spoken to me in hours),” Lopez stated. “Ha sido maravilloso (It’s been wonderful).”
Sarge just looked back and forth between Grif and Tucker anxiously. “Well, this is a conundrum. I want to reprimand Grif for his insufferable laziness, but that also means I’d have to agree with a Blue! I suppose the only safe thing to do is to give each of you an ambiguous grunt.” Sarge turned and glared at Tucker. “Humph!” He then turned to stare down Grif. “Humph!”
Tucker waited to make sure Sarge was finished before continuing. “Okay, if you’re worried about us being seen, we can just sneak into this guy’s place. I was trained in stealth!”
“You were?” Grif asked.
“Of course! I mean, I didn’t listen to the training, but I think I picked up enough to get by.”
Rarity rubbed the bridge of her snout. “Okay. I’ll humor you. Supposing we could get you into the manor we’ll be dining at, how will that help? What can you contribute?”
“I can help with the negotiations.”
“Oh, and how will you do that? With pick-up lines and crude remarks?”
“Well, if you’ll recall, I was an alien ambassador before CT’s guys came along.”
“Oh right, an ambassador who didn’t even speak the language of the species he was liasoning with,” Rarity noted dryly. “Forgive me if I don’t have complete confidence in your abilities.”
“Girl, you just haven’t seen the full extent of my liasoning skills, if you know what I mean!”
Rarity ground her teeth. She was already anxious enough about the coming evening, and she did not have the patience to deal with this right now. “Can you see why I’d be reluctant to risk destroying Canterlot by taking you along for a night that requires careful social tact?!”
“What? Girl, I got social tact for days! Do you know how much social tact it takes to get in bed with a chick? Shit’s hard! Even when they’re clearly into you, they make you jump through hoops and ask you all these questions to help them decide whether they like your personality, or some bullcrap.” Tucker snapped his fingers. “Hey! I can offer the guy you’re meeting dating tips that’s sure to get him laid. Tip number one: Lie! Tell girls only what they want to hear!”
“Tucker, do you honestly think that’s going to be enough to convince me?”
“Of course not, babe! You’re too talented and interesting as a person to be convinced by something so shallow,” Tucker said in an artificially sweet tone, before switching back to his practiced nonchalance. “See? Works like a charm!”
Rarity felt a growl escape her throat as she glared at Tucker. “I’ll have you know I’d rather take Sarge to a formal dinner over you!”
“Hmm… I didn’t bring my cravat. But I think I have a monocle in my disguise kit…” Sarge mumbled.
Tucker, meanwhile, folded his arms and studied the fuming unicorn in front of him. “Y’know, ever since we met, you’ve either been dismissive of me or outright hostile. What’s your beef with me?”
Rarity tilted her nose up in a huff. “Beef? I am beefless! A proper lady does not have beef!” Rarity returned her head to a more natural angle as she glared at the aqua man. “It’s just that I find you terribly annoying is all! You’re a sleazy, womanizing ruffian with no respect for the female gender and I despise everything you stand for!”
Suddenly realizing she was out of breath, Rarity began panting as everyone in the cave silently looked at her.
“Um, Rarity?” Fluttershy asked, stepping forward with a concerned expression. “You’ve been really, um… tense ever since you got back. Is something wrong?”
With a defeated sigh looked down. “Yes…. Do you think you could accompany me tonight, Fluttershy darling? Considering who we’re meeting, I think I’m going to need the emotional support.”
“Of course, Rarity,” Fluttershy responded immediately, giving her friend a comforting pat.
“So, who are you seeing, and what did this guy do that has you so on edge?” Tucker asked.
“Prince Platinum Blueblood, the First of His Name,” Rarity all but spat. “We… spent the evening together during last year’s Grand Galloping Gala, and… well, suffice to say, it turned out to be a terrible night.”
“So, what? You went on one bad date and the thought of seeing this guy again is causing you this much stress?” Tucker asked. “Yeah, this’ll probably be an awkward evening and stuff, but don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?”
“That’s our Rarity!” Pinkie cheerfully exclaimed.
“You don’t understand,” Rarity said, looking at them with large, vulnerable eyes. “I have had a crush on Blueblood since I was a little filly. I wanted to marry him… I fantasized about it for years. To finally meet the stallion of my dreams and have those dreams crushed the second I realized what kind of pony he really is… t-that hurt….”
All at once, Rarity remembered that night vividly. The pure, sickening rage she’d felt when she’d finally snapped at the pompous prince. The smiles and laughter she’d shared with her friends after the gala as she tried desperately to convince herself everything was okay. The tears that flowed when she finally got home that night and it dawned on her that her dreams would never be made reality.
Feeling a feathery wing drape itself across her back, Rarity snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Fluttershy’s kind, sympathetic face.
“It’s okay, Rarity. I’ll be right there with you,” she said.
Nodding, Rarity forced herself to return her focus to the task at hoof. “Okay. Fluttershy, why don’t we go into town and make the necessary preparations for tonight?”
As the pair of them made to do just that, Tucker couldn’t help but make one final remark. “So… did you at least bang this guy, or…?”
Rarity was unable to stop her hoof from connecting to her forehead. At that moment, she wasn’t sure who she hated more.
“Okay…” Rainbow Dash started. Although Twilight couldn’t see her face, she could tell Applejack was already rolling her eyes as she walked ahead of her. “You get one million bits….”
“Oh, thanks!” Donut cheerfully interrupted as he had done for the past five of Rainbow’s hypothetical scenarios.
"That's a lot of money," Church muttered again.
“But…” Rainbow Dash said, cutting herself off to giggle like a schoolfilly before continuing, “Every time you go to the bathroom, you have to scream what you’re doing at the top of your lungs. Would you do it?”
“Oh, I do that all the time anyway,” Caboose said.
When Twilight looked up at Church, he just said, “Yeah, I wish he was joking.”
This variation of “Would You Rather” had quickly become Rainbow Dash’s favorite way to pass the time as the group walked through the snowy valley. It was either that or “I Spy,” which Rainbow quickly grew tired of after realizing the only possible answers were “snow” and “ice”. It was certainly a good way to keep the mood light. Something about the frozen landscape of the North seemed twisted and unnatural. It was too quiet, the very air seeming forsaken of all life. Yet Twilight occasionally thought she heard faint howls in the distance; echoes of something ancient and terrible.
“Hmm... define ‘going to the bathroom’,” Simmons said. “Like, do I just scream when I go to relieve myself, or do I have to do it when I do anything? Because brushing your teeth would be fucking impossible.”
Rainbow Dash walked along quietly for a moment as she contemplated the question. “Anything you do in the bathroom that you’d be embarrassed about.”
“I’d do it!” Donut said.
Nodding, Rainbow looked over at the farmpony walking beside her. “Applejack?”
With a groan, Applejack pulled her stetson down over her eyes. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this game o’ yours, RD, it’s that money isn’t everything.”
“Aw, you’re no fun!” Knowing that Twilight, Church and Washington weren’t participating in this game, Rainbow looked up at the maroon human soldier. “Simmons?”
It was a very long time before Simmons came up with an answer. “What if I just started doing all of my business outside?”
“C’mon, Simmons. The only times I ever see you outside is when your base’s internet is down!” Church argued.
“Nobody asked you, Blue!”
“Fuck you, Red!”
As the pair continued to argue, the wind suddenly picked up, and despite the layers of protective clothing provided by Shining and Cadance, Twilight felt a cold shiver pass through her. She thought she heard that howl again, but it was probably just the wind.
“Okay! I think everyone’s getting a little tired,” Washington said, stopping in place as he interrupted the bickering ponies and soldiers. “How about we take a break for a few minutes?”
Changing their course towards one of the valley walls, the Reds, Blues, ponies, and Freelancer found a decently protected space between a few snowy boulders and the valley wall. After digging a small space for herself in the snow, Twilight lay down and let out a breath as the others did the same around her.
“Why do I get the inexplicable feeling you want to say something to me, Church?” Washington said, causing Twilight to look up. While the rest of their party had sat down and taken a load off, Church remained standing, staring at the ex-Recovery Agent the same way he had when they first met.
“Church, don’t tell me you’re still having trust issues with Agent Washington?” Twilight reprimanded. “I thought we were past this!”
“If you honestly thought that, Twilight, you’re even more naive than I thought,” Church said before returning his attention to Washington. “Y’know, something just occurred to me, Wash: You knew what they did to Alpha—to me—as soon as they put Epsilon in your head, right?”
“Yes, I inherited the memories that almost caused Epsilon to destroy itself…” Washington said, clearly trying to discern where Church was going with this.
“So you knew. You knew from the moment we met what I really am?”
With only a moment’s hesitation, Washington nodded, and Twilight understood Church’s lingering distrust.
“And it never occurred to you to say anything, or would telling me the truth ruin the whole ‘mysterious, all-knowing badass’ thing?”
With a tired sigh, Washington said, “Church, if I’d told you back on Repertum that you’re an A.I. that was forced to fragment itself, would you have believed me?”
Church didn’t answer.
“In fact, I’m willing to bet that if I’d personally taken you to Command and shown you Epsilon, you’d still choose to believe you were a spirit over an artificial construct.”
“So what, then? You were planning on just using me against the Director without even trying to tell me the truth?”
“Church, I’m not sure what the issue here is,” Twilight interjected. “Should Wash have told you the truth sooner? Maybe. But giving him a hard time over hypothetical scenarios? You’re acting like Rainbow Dash right now!”
“Hey! What’s wrong with acting like me?” Rainbow piped in. “Being me is awesome!”
“Well, you know… except for the whole… wing injury,” Caboose said.
Rainbow rounded on him in an instant. “Oh yeah?! Well whose fault is that, huh?!”
“I like to think it was nobody’s fault. The world works in mysterious ways sometimes.”
“A bullet from your gun ended up in my wing! Not a lot of mystery there!”
“Allegedly. I’m not saying anything until I talk to my lawyer.”
Rainbow planted a hoof on her face as the wind picked up again. “Celestia’s feathers, you’re dumb.”
“How rude!” Donut exclaimed.
Rounding on Donut next, Rainbow shouted, “Oh, don’t talk to me about being rude, Mr. Reads-other-ponies’-mail!”
“You read somepony’s mail?” Applejack asked, turning to look at Donut. “Land sakes! Don’t you aliens have any respect fer privacy?”
Deciding she’d heard enough, Twilight moved to stop the bickering ponies and humans when she noticed Church and Washington were still going at it… and that somehow Simmons had gotten involved.
“I’m just saying, maybe if you’d actually worked with Agent Washington on a project and had seen his organizational technique for yourself, maybe you’d feel differently,” Simmons argued.
“What the fuck does that have to do with anything we’ve been talking about?!”
Before she knew it, Twilight was drowning in a cacophony of bickering and arguing, all the while the cold wind that had been chilling her to the bone grew stronger. Suddenly, Twilight was not simply drowning in noise. The groove she’d dug out for herself suddenly started filling with snow, and Twilight quickly found herself digging and clawing to get out. With a pit of cold dread forming in her stomach, Twilight realized exactly what was going on, and burst out of the pile of snow she’d been buried in screaming, “EVERYONE STOP!!!”
The fighting stopped immediately, replaced by the sound of the cold wind blowing steadily through the valley, but that wasn’t all Twilight could hear. A trumpeting wail echoed over the wind.
“I can’t feel my feet,” Caboose reported. Twilight looked over at the man in blue and saw that his feet were covered in a thin layer of ice.
“Oh no….”
“What’s going on?” Washington asked, raising his BR and quickly scanning the immediate area.
Looking up, Twilight’s fears were confirmed when she saw the swirling vortex of clouds directly above them, seeming inexplicably centered on where they’d chosen to rest. Hearing another ethereal wail, Twilight looked closer and thought she spotted one or two ghostly equine forms circling within the vortex, but every time she tried to focus on one she saw only snow and clouds. Nevertheless, she knew exactly what they were dealing with.
“Windigoes…” Twilight said with a shiver. “This doesn’t make sense. We’ve barely been in the Old Kingdoms for a day! To find us this quickly, we’d need to be giving off a lot of negativity….” Twilight looked around at the members of their party and amended, “Actually, scratch that. I’m surprised they didn’t find us sooner.”
“Wait, what’s a Wiiiiiiiiiiiinnebago?” Caboose asked.
“Windigoes are ice spirits that gain their power from negative emotion. All of our fighting must have drawn them to us!”
“What do we do?” Simmons asked, shaking either from the cold or fear.
“Gather around me!”
The others complied instantly, and the eight of them were soon huddled around Twilight.
“What’re ya thinkin’, Twi? Can ya use the same spell from the Hearth’s Warmin’ story?” Applejack asked.
“Yes, but I’ll need everyone’s help,” Twilight said as her horn started to glow. “The Fires of Friendship is the only spell that can ward off the Windigoes, but to pull it off I need everyone to use your friendships to create positive emotion.”
Each of the gathered humans stared at Twilight in abject silence. “Uh… we need to do what now?” Church asked.
A tiny purple flame appeared above Twilight’s head as she finished the initial casting of the spell. “Talk! Laugh! Sing songs! Do what friends do together!”
Caboose turned to stare directly at Church. “I’ve been ready for this moment my whole life.”
“Oh God…” Church groaned, but a look from Twilight and a trumpeting wail above quickly changed his demeanor. “I mean, uh… hey, Caboose. I… really care for and appreciate you as a friend. Let’s… hang out and talk… about, uh… all the good times we’ve had!”
“I’d like that.” Ignoring Church’s strained tone, Caboose happily obliged. “Yeah, remember the time the tank I was driving just happened to blow you up? Yeah... or-or the time I shot the Red guy you were possessing?”
“Yes… good times….”
Twilight looked up at the tiny purple flame above her head and frowned. “It’s not working. We need more friendship!”
“Let’s sing a song together!” Caboose wrapped an arm around Church and started rocking them back and forth as he started to sing, “Chuuurch, you’re my best friend. That’s what I am to you….”
“Everyone pitch in!” Twilight said, turning to her two pony friends. “Rainbow Dash, Applejack. Show them how it’s done!”
Rainbow Dash turned to face Applejack. “AJ, I’m sorry if I’ve been annoying you with my hypothetical questions.”
Applejack put a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Sugarcube, I don’ resent ya for tryin’ to stave off boredom. Yes, yer questions got a little annoyin’ after a while as do some of yer other quirks, but yer still my friend. I wouldn’t like ya so much if ya weren’t you.”
“Aw, thanks, AJ!” Rainbow and Applejack hugged, and the Fires of Friendship above Twilight’s head grew a bit bigger.
“See? Like that,” Twilight said, turning to the others.
Donut was the first to speak. “Simmons? I’m sorry if the way I act makes you uncomfortable sometimes.”
“More like all the time,” Simmons muttered, but a nudge from Twilight sent him back on course. “I mean, uh… it’s okay, Donut. I suppose I can’t hold it against you.”
Either not noticing or choosing to ignore the fact Simmons was speaking through gritted teeth, Donut extended his arms. “Thanks, Simmons!”
Taking an uncertain glance back at Twilight, Simmons engaged Donut’s hug, muttering curses under his breath. Donut gave a content sigh as he held Simmons closer while Simmons merely stiffened his posture. Twilight glanced over at the Blues. Caboose was still singing his song as he rocked himself and Church back and forth.
“And we’ll be together ‘til the part when it’s over.
Because we are brothers in not-red.
Brothers in not-red…”
Finally, Twilight glanced at the one person who still needed to contribute to the Fires of Friendship. Agent Washington stood just off to the side, watching the scene before him with uncertainty.
“Wash?”
“Oh!” Suddenly remembering himself, Washington crouched so that he was at eye level with Twilight. The normally calm and composed soldier awkwardly cleared his throat before proceeding. “Twilight Sparkle. Although we don’t know each other very well, I feel the necessity of our survival combined with our alignment towards a common goal has brought us closer in our time together.”
Washington extended a hand, and after several long seconds, Twilight realized he was offering to shake. She tried her hardest to give him a smile as she put her hoof in his hand and the two of them stiffly did exactly that.
“I sincerely hope that our future endeavors will continue to be mutually beneficial, and that our friendship will only grow stronger as a result.”
“Thank you, Agent Washington. That was… nice,” Twilight said, hoping her voice wasn’t too strained as they concluded their hand/hoof shake. The pair looked levelly at each other for a few moments afterward.
“It’s not working, is it?”
“Not really.” Twilight glanced up at the Fires of Friendship to see that they haven’t grown much larger.
“Augh! What the fuck, Donut?!”
Twilight looked back to see that Simmons had pushed Donut off of him. “This fucker just groped my ass!”
“Well, maybe if you weren’t so insecure, you’d see that all I was doing was giving you a friendly pat!” Donut argued.
“No, you straight up grabbed a cheek and held on for a full second!”
“Which is exactly how you pump up your teammates on the football field!”
“Wait, you played football, Donut?” Church asked as Caboose continued gently rocking him back and forth.
“Yep, in high school! I admit, I wasn’t very good at the game itself, but I was great at the locker room male bonding!”
Twilight let out a frustrated groan. “Ugh! This isn’t working. You all need to be more sincere!”
“Twilight, you’ve already seen us when we’re being sincere,” Church said. “We belittle, insult and generally annoy the shit out of each other! That’s how we roll!” Church gestured to Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who had amicably thrown a hoof over each other’s shoulders. “This touchy-feely crap just isn’t how we do things!”
“Well, you have to do something!” Twilight exclaimed as her legs went numb. Looking down, she saw ice had begun forming over her hooves. “If we don’t, the Windigoes’ magic will freeze our hearts, and I don’t even want to get into what’ll happen after!”
That is, if Starswirl’s accounts in his memoirs are accurate, Twilight mentally added. As the group looked up at the swirling vortex of weather and the ethereal creatures within—ice forming over their features—it was Caboose of all people who spoke up.
“Hey!” the dim Blue shouted at the storm. “You dumb… Windy-bagels! You probably don’t even taste good with butter or jelly! Why don’t you go back to the bakery?!”
“Caboose, what the fuck are you doing?” Church asked.
“Well, if we can’t be friends without insulting but we can’t insult each other either, we need to insult something else!”
The rest of the group stared at him in stunned silence as ice continued to form over them. Then, Church followed his lead.
“Hey, assholes! How do ya like this, huh?!” Church shouted, defiantly raising a middle finger towards the icy vortex.
“Yeah!” Caboose exclaimed.
Deciding there was nothing left to do but try this one last idea, Twilight jumped in. “How does it feel to be mindless creatures with nothing but the drive to freeze everything that hates?! Your existence is meaningless!”
Simmons was next to join in. “Yeah! Meaningless like your face! Suck it, ice fucks!”
“You guys are some of the most garish spirits I’ve ever seen!” Donut shouted next. “I mean really? Pale white with ghost trails? Yeah, so original guys! Tack-y!”
Applejack chuckled as she looked up at Donut. “I can see why Rarity likes ya!”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash shouted next. “You guys are lousy fliers! I can fly better than you and my wing got shot a week ago!”
“Yeah! I bet if I put Caboose on your team, he’d be the fuckin' MVP!” Church shouted, and to Twilight’s surprise, she actually found herself laughing. Rainbow Dash and a few of the others were laughing alongside her, and despite the fact that the joke was made at his expense, even Caboose laughed. Though that could be because he didn’t understand why.
“Hey, dickheads!”
Everyone stopped and looked over at Washington in shock as he looked up at the winter storm above. “You fuckers call this cold? I ran ops on desert planets that were colder than this!”
This elicited another round of laughter from the group at witnessing the stoic, imposing Freelancer drop the sickest burn yet.
“Dude, nice!” said Church, raising his fist in front of Washington, who bumped it amicably.
Remembering her spell, Twilight glanced up at the Fires of Friendship to find that the tiny ball of purple flame had grown to become almost as big as she is. Smiling, Twilight returned her gaze to the slowly weakening storm.
“I bet Church can use a sniper rifle better than you idiots can make a storm!”
Everyone who had seen Church use his rifle burst out in an entirely new round of laughter as Applejack kept the insult train rolling.
“The apples on my flank have made wilder storms than this!”
“Ooooooh gurl!” Caboose shouted, putting his hand down low for Applejack to slap.
“Suck a dick!” Simmons exclaimed.
“Suck two dicks!” Donut added.
“Suck ten dicks. From every direction! Like a big three-sixty degrees omnidirectional dick-sucking machine!” Church shouted.
Everyone laughed, and the Fires of Friendship grew larger until a huge stream of purple fire suddenly burst forth from Twilight’s horn and shot into the sky. The fires engulfed everything in the spinning storm above, and the ponies and humans heard the agonized cries of the creatures above. In a few short moments, the storm dissipated and the Fires of Friendship took the shape of a flaming heart above the party’s heads, melting the ice encasing them.
It was after several moments of shocked silence that Twilight finally spoke. “Wow… I can’t believe that actually worked!”
“Yeah, that was actually kinda fun!” Applejack exclaimed, looking around at the Reds and Blues. “Now I see why you fellas do it so much!”
“I mean, technically we were using hate to fuel the Fires of Friendship, but we were hating the Windigoes together, so… I guess two negatives makes a positive?”
“I told you. Our way of doing friendship may be different from yours, but it works… most of the time,” Church said.
“Hey!” Caboose shouted at the sky. “You’re ugly. If you were ice cream, no one would eat you!”
“Uh, Caboose? We’re finished insulting the ice spirits now.”
“Yeah, I know. I moved on to the cloud.”
In short order, the group was ready to keep moving. At least, until a distant, otherworldly shriek pierced the air.
“Aw, what now?” Rainbow Dash whined.
Twilight whirled around and scanned the direction the noise came from. Back the way they came, Twilight could just barely make out dark specks in the distance. A very bad feeling entered the pit of her stomach as she turned to Church.
“Can I see your sniper rifle, Church?”
Sensing something was amiss, Church handed over his weapon without hesitation as Twilight took it in her magical aura. Looking through the scope of the rifle, the breath caught in Twilight’s chest as she was just barely able to make out a large crowd of shambling equine figures.
“Mother of Celestia, Starswirl was right...” Twilight gasped as something landed in the snow behind her with a dull thump.
Lowering Church’s rifle, Twilight turned around with the rest of the group and saw what appeared to be a dead pony lying at the foot of the rock and ice wall towering over them. It wore armor and a feathered helmet resembling that worn by the pegasi of Old Pegasopolis. Underneath, it seemed to be nothing but frozen black skin and bones. Applejack and Rainbow Dash instinctively shuffled back at the sight of it.
“Where the fuck did that come from?” Church asked.
“It must have fallen from up there,” Washington said, gesturing up the snowy mountain that made up one of the valley’s walls.
“Nobody get near it!” Twilight exclaimed, trying to keep calm and recall the spell Starswirl’s notes described was most effective.
“Yeah, that would be a good way to catch something,” Caboose said, but that wasn’t what had Twilight so concerned.
A sound like a cold wind passing through a hollow tree suddenly came from the corpse a few meters away, and to the group’s collective horror, the dead pony started to move. With cracking joints and snapping ice, the skeletal pony rose to its feet and turned to face the group, looking at them with empty eye sockets.
“T-T-T-Twilight?” Rainbow croaked, her voice cracking.
The dead pony took a step forward, cracking through the ice holding it together only for new ice to form over its joints instantly. A tiny flicker of blue entered the dead pony’s sockets as it opened its frozen, decaying mouth and let out an unnatural shriek before charging forward. Washington was the first to react, raising his rifle in less than a second and firing two well placed bursts into the dead pony’s chest and head. Aside from sporting a few new holes, the half-frozen corpse was undeterred, continuing its sprint forward with a shambling, uneven gait. The rest of the Reds and Blues were next to open fire, but what shots found their mark were no more effective.
The corpse leapt at its nearest target, but Applejack was determined not to be easy prey. Spinning around, Applejack let the dead pony bring itself into her hind legs and bucked with all her might. Everyone heard the sound of ice and brittle bones snapping as the creature was knocked back onto its side, only to immediately begin righting itself. Twilight never gave it the chance as she cast her spell, igniting the dead pony instantaneously. The creature shrieked again as it burned, flailing about until all of the ice holding it together was melted and it lay still.
Humans and ponies alike stared at the tiny bonfire for a few seconds before Simmons finally threw his arms up into the air. “Nope! Nope! That’s it! I can handle mercenaries, Freelancer agents, and ice spirits, but I draw the line at fucking pony zombies! Fuck all y’all. I’m going home, climbing into my attic and pulling the ladder up. I am officially enacting my zombie plan!”
“Hey Simmons? Calm the fuck down,” Church calmly stated.
“Yeah, least you didn’ have to touch it!” Applejack exclaimed, wiping her back hooves in the snow. “Twi? You wanna explain jus’ what the hay that was?”
“Wights…” was all Twilight could mutter.
“Um, the correct term is caucasians,” Donut said. “C’mon, Twilight. I know you just killed a zombie, but you could at least be politically correct about it!”
“What? No, that thing that just attacked us is called a 'wight,'” Twilight said, taking a breath.
“Ooh! Is George about to explain something?” Caboose asked excitedly. “I love it when she explains stuff!”
“It’s a part of the Hearth’s Warming story they don’t tell in the plays…” Twilight began.
“Wait, you’ve mentioned this Hearth’s Warming thing before. What exactly is it?” Church asked.
“It’s a celebration of the founding of Equestria. Approximately two-thousand years ago, ponies were driven from their lands by the endless winter brought on by the Windigoes,” Twilight explained, for once not feeling like getting into the whole history of the Great Migration and the Unification of the Three Tribes.
“Back then, there was so much tension and hate between the Three Tribes that the Windigoes had tremendous power! But what they don’t tell in the stories is what happens when a pony’s heart is frozen by their magic. After a while, that pony comes back as a wight: a mindless husk drawn to the power of the Windigoes.”
A distant shriek much like the ones from the dead pegasus that had just attacked echoed across the wind. The group looked back in the direction they came and saw that the army of distant shambling figures had grown a little closer.
“If you’re right, that means this valley is no longer safe,” Washington stated.
“Right!” Twilight exclaimed, bringing out her map of the Old Kingdoms. She studied it for a few moments before saying, “There should be a way to climb out not far ahead. After that, we can cut through the Emerald Pass and that should put us back on course.”
For once, the group proceeded immediately without any more words. It seemed that pony and human alike were too busy holding their collective breaths for anything else. It was only after putting the icy valley behind them and the cries of the army of wights faded into the distance that the tension finally began to lift from the group. The remainder of the afternoon was spent walking in relative silence, with nothing but the odd complaint.
It was dark by the time they reached the Emerald Pass, and the party came to a unanimous agreement to bunker down for the night. An old stone watchtower stood halfway up one of the pass’s walls, half crumbled and buried in snow; the perfect place to make camp.
Once they were set up and started eating from their rations, Twilight noticed the overall tone of the group was different. There was a little tension after the events of the day, true enough, but there was also something else. Everyone seemed almost more… comfortable together. Humans and ponies alike were eating and getting along with only a little good-natured bickering. Even Washington seemed to loosen up, taking time from securing the perimeter to actually spend time with the rest of the group. Twilight was surprised when she actually found herself feeling good when she went to sleep.
No one noticed the figure watching from a distance.
Rarity sat at the large, opulent marble dinner table with one of her winning smiles as she quipped and laughed with the rest of the gathered nobles. She and Fluttershy had arrived at Blueblood Manor promptly at seven as the guests of Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee respectively.
Rarity and Fluttershy’s first stop that afternoon had been a spa to clean themselves up. Using her connections, Fleur managed to get a pair of decent dresses for the two of them through a boutique chain owned by an up and comer in Manehattan—a Suri something-or-other. Fluttershy wore a soft purple dress with plenty of lace, while Rarity wore a simple but elegant blue gown that matched the hue of her eyes. Fleur had initially suggested a much more elaborate aqua colored dress, but Rarity had hastily rejected it. For some reason, that particular hue threatened to consume her with rage.
That wasn’t evident at present, however, as Rarity chuckled politely with the rest of the table at a particularly off-color joke made by one of the other nobles at the expense of donkeys. She glanced down and took a bite of the cheese and fruit salad on her plate. The meal was so intricately crafted it felt more like she was eating a piece of art than food. The walls around the room were covered in very real pieces of art, though, with many paintings of Blueblood and his family gazing down at them. There was even a very old one of his ancestor Princess Platinum, for whom he was named.
Rarity sat between Fluttershy and a noblestallion named Blue Moon. Beside Fluttershy sat Fleur, who talked up the butter pegasus’ brief career as a fellow supermodel, much to Fluttershy’s mild embarrassment. At the end of the table beside Fleur sat Fancy Pants, who drew the attention and praise of the others every time he said anything. Across the table sat Jet Set and his wife Upper Crust, who stared down their noses at Rarity every time she talked. Beside them sat mostly nobles Rarity was unfamiliar with: a white stallion with a black mane called Black Marble, a dark blue mare named Blue Belle, and a brown stallion with a blond mane called Chocolate Sun. At the end of the table across from Fancy Pants was a pale cream unicorn mare called Champagne Dreams, who kept stealing hungry glances at their host.
At the head of the table was their host himself: Prince Blueblood looked every bit as dashing as he did that night at the gala with his flowing blond mane and elegant suit-collar. As a matter of fact, the only thing different about him now was his demeanor. Apart from his over the top, self-indulgent entrance (in which he slowly descended the stairs as serving mares scattered flower petals in his wake), Blueblood was far more cordial with Rarity this time. Not only did he remember her and address her by name, but he politely kissed Rarity’s hoof by way of greeting, and even personally pulled her chair out for her. Rarity couldn’t help but wonder whether this was the same stallion who’d brought a sitting cushion along on their date with the intention of hogging it for himself.
As the congregation of nobles continued their chatter, Blueblood silently presided over the room, only adding occasional input to the conversation. Rarity couldn’t figure out why, but for some reason this unexpected development put her more ill at ease than if Blueblood had been every bit as stuck-up and self-centered as he was at the gala.
“Everything alright, Miss Rarity?” Blueblood asked, drawing Rarity from her thoughts. “You’ve been rather quiet this evening.”
Rarity swallowed as she now had the attention of the rest of the table. “Yes, there’s… quite a lot on my mind.”
Blueblood raised an eyebrow and gave her a knowing grin. “Would it have something to do with the creatures that have taken up residence in the castle?”
The whole table fell silent as Rarity tensed up. The sound of somepony dropping their fork was like a gong. “My dear friend Fancy mentioned you were asking about that…” Blueblood continued. “But I think you know far more about it than any of us, don’t you?”
“We would be delighted to hear your view on the situation,” Champagne Dreams added in a silky sweet voice accompanied by a grin befitting a shark.
It was at that moment Rarity remembered something Twilight had said about Project Freelancer having a powerful and influential unicorn in their ranks, and all at once started to wonder whether one of their enemies was right here in the room with her.
“Well… seeing as this is a matter of national security, I’m not sure I can share that information without authorization from the Princesses,” Rarity said, hoping that she sounded confident enough to be convincing.
“Yes, I can see how that would be a problem for most of the others in this room,” Blueblood said, waving a hoof dismissively at the rest of the table. “But as a member of the Royal Family, I’m sure we could discuss the matter in a more… private setting.”
“I don’t know…” Rarity said. She did need Blueblood’s help if she and the others were to enter the castle, but something about all of this was setting off huge red flags in her mind.
Blueblood gave a casual shrug. “I’m just saying, it’ll be that much more difficult for me to assist you if I don’t know what we’ll be dealing with.”
He has a point, Rarity conceded. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling of being backed into a corner.
“Of course, if I am to lend you any assistance, I would require something in return…” Blueblood continued.
“I know Generosity is your Element, but Equestria doesn’t run on charity, you know,” Champagne Dreams added, all too eager to please her host.
Before Rarity could formulate a response, Fluttershy timidly raised her hoof.
“Um… excuse me? I need to use the filly’s room.” She then looked over at Rarity pleadingly. “Can you, um… come with me? I don’t like going by myself….”
“Of course, Fluttershy,” Rarity said with a patient sigh, figuring it would at least be a good chance for her to touch up her make-up.
“Down the hall on your left,” Blueblood said, pointing out the lavatory’s direction.
Rarity politely thanked him before taking Fluttershy and leading her down the hall. The restroom was exactly where Blueblood had said it would be, and Rarity began rummaging through her bag as she waited for Fluttershy to do her business. What she wasn’t expecting was for the timid pegasus to suddenly grab her and drag her into the restroom with her.
“Fluttershy?! What are you…?” Rarity was interrupted by a yellow hoof and a “shh” as Fluttershy locked the rather spacious bathroom’s door.
“Sorry Rarity, but… I may have told a little lie when I said I needed to use the bathroom. I just thought you could use an escape back there.” Fluttershy winced. “U-unless you had it handled. I-I’m sorry, if you were actually fine, please don’t be mad….”
Rarity just smiled. She’d forgotten how easy it was to underestimate the pegasus’ intuition. “No, it’s okay Fluttershy. This is exactly what I needed. Perhaps now we can take some time to figure out what Blueblood’s playing at.”
Fluttershy frowned. “Do you think he’s working with the… Freelancer people?”
Rarity thought about it. It would make sense, she supposed. It was certainly one way to explain how Blueblood had managed to escape the castle while it was under Freelancer control. They could be using him to keep tabs on anypony of importance in Canterlot, and make sure nopony was getting wise to their operation. Of course, if that were the case, it wouldn’t make sense for him to be spreading rumors about the “strange creatures” controlling the castle.
“No, I don’t think so,” Rarity concluded, turning to face the mirror as she began to touch herself up. Her face needed a fresh powdering and one of her false eyelashes was slipping. “He’s after something, though. I just can’t figure out what….”
Before the pair could talk further, they heard what sounded like something crashing somewhere out in the hall. Rarity thought perhaps one of the servants had dropped something, but then she heard a mare scream, followed by shouting voices and rapid hoofsteps. Rarity wasn’t sure what was happening until she heard the familiar burst of a BR.
Exchanging a brief glance, the two ponies unlocked the bathroom door and ran out. A few stallions in black suits and sunglasses—Blueblood’s security staff, if Rarity had to guess—were running full stop down the hallway followed by several of the party guests. Unsure of what else to do, Rarity and Fluttershy followed them. They ran through a couple of winding hallways until they came to what appeared to be a study complete with book shelves and a hearth with a painting of what could only be another of Blueblood’s ancestors hanging above.
The window was open, letting in the cool evening mountain air. A lamp on a table just beside it was in pieces on the ground, and not too far away, a familiar human weapon lay on its side. The painting above the hearth had a few errant bullet holes in it. However, the first thing Rarity saw was the familiar soldier in aqua armor being suspended in the air by four of Blueblood’s security staff as he struggled and cursed. At the sound of a few more sets of hoofsteps, Rarity turned to see Blueblood himself enter the room, led by a serving mare.
“That’s the one, Your Grace! That’s the creature wot climbed in through the window!” the mare exclaimed, pointing a trembling hoof at the man.
Blueblood snorted. “This looks like one of the creatures that invaded the castle!”
“Augh! Get your stinkin’ magic off me, you damn dirty horses!” Tucker exclaimed. He then looked over at Rarity, and her eyes went wide when she realized he was about to ruin everything for her. “Rarity! Tell these assholes to let me go!”
Blueblood slowly looked over at Rarity along with the rest of the nobles. “Miss Rarity? Do you… know this creature?”
Rarity just gently applied a hoof to her face and spoke through gritted teeth. “Tucker… why are you here?”
“Duh? Because I was tired of hanging out at the cave?”
With an exasperated sigh, Rarity looked from Tucker’s suspended form to Blueblood and said, “You can let him go, Your Grace. Tucker won’t cause any problems.” She then glared at the man in question. “Will he?”
Tucker gave an exaggerated shake of his head, and with a sigh, Blueblood nodded at his security staff, who released Tucker from their various glowing magic auras.
“Why do you continue to pay me such insults, Miss Rarity?” Blueblood said remorsefully.
“E-excuse me?” Rarity sputtered.
“Ever since the night we met at the gala, you’ve done nothing but pay me the lowest modicum of respect.”
“Excuse me?!” Rarity exclaimed again, rounding on the bemused Prince. It seemed the two of them couldn’t ignore the events of the gala forever. “Who was it who spent the entire evening acting like the most self-absorbed flankhole to ever walk this earth?!”
Blueblood simply gave her a knowing look. “Who indeed?”
Rarity paused for a brief moment before asking in a dangerous low tone. “What are you insinuating? All I wanted to do was to have a pleasant evening!”
“So did I, but then you came along,” Blueblood sighed. “You know, I still can’t believe it took me placing you in the path of that flying cake for you to finally take the hint!”
All at once, Rarity understood what Blueblood was getting at. “Are you saying you were intentionally acting like an entitled jerk the whole night?”
“Who was acting entitled? After all, was it not you, Miss Rarity, who stalked me into the gardens with the intention of courting me?”
Rarity didn’t respond.
“I mean, it’s bad enough when actual noblemares try to win my affection just to further their own ambition,” Blueblood gave a meaningful glance in Champagne Dreams’ direction, who for her part managed to look somewhat flustered as she suddenly found something else in the room much more interesting. “But for a lowly commoner with nothing to her name to do so? I’m not a mere prize to be won, you know!”
“Hey, asshole!”
To Rarity’s surprise, Tucker was now glaring steadily at Blueblood. “This girl wasn’t after your money or any of that shit! She just wanted to fall in love and get married and crap.”
Blueblood looked from Tucker to Rarity. “I see. I stand corrected, then. You’re not a gold digger, Miss Rarity, you’re something far worse: You’re a naive little filly who still believes in fairy tales!” Blueblood sneered. “You should’ve thanked me that night for waking you up from the fantasy you’ve been living in.”
All the indignant rage in Rarity’s chest couldn’t help her in that moment. No matter how badly she wanted to come up with a scathing rebuttal, Rarity couldn’t deny he was right. She had been naive. The picturesque fairy tale wedding she played out in her head over and over again was something she should’ve outgrown years ago. Instead, the childish dream followed her into adulthood, only stopping when it was crushed into oblivion by reality. Perhaps that was the real reason she had been so shattered after that night. It wasn’t that the stallion she’d admired for years turned out to be different from what she imagined. It was that she was finally forced to grow up.
“Oh, that is such bullshit!” Tucker exclaimed, bringing Rarity momentarily out of her downward spiral of despair. “Was Rarity stupid to get her hopes up? Maybe. But that’s no excuse to treat her like shit!”
Tucker took a step toward Blueblood, and for the first time, the prince had a nervous look on his face as he took a step back.
“And hell, maybe if you weren’t so jaded, you would’ve noticed that Rarity’s actually awesome!” Tucker continued. “Sure, me and her don’t get along very well, but she still pulled her own when we fought the Insurrection and shit. And I mean, look at her! Rarity’s gorgeous as hell! I’m not even a pony and I can tell that. If she wanted to go out with you, you’d have to be an idiot not to at least give her a chance!”
Rarity’s mouth drifted open in shock and a slight redness filled her cheeks as she realized she was watching a backwards version of one of her fillyhood fantasies: The large, crude monster was defending her against the dashing prince. Blueblood, for his part, merely looked at the human in shocked stupor as Tucker continued.
“Oh yeah, and another thing. Since you were all still sitting around doing nothing when I climbed in, I’m gonna take a guess you haven’t agreed to help Rarity find a way into the castle yet, huh?”
“T-that’s quite enough!” Blueblood stuttered, trying desperately to regain his control of the situation. “Guards! Take th-this... rapscallion away and teach him some manners!”
The muscular security unicorns fired up their horns once again to take a hold of Tucker. However, they weren’t fast enough to stop him from grabbing the small device on his waist. As the glowing aura of magic from the four security ponies lifted Tucker into the air, he managed to hold his right hand aloft. With a burst of light and plasma, Tucker’s dual-pronged energy sword sprang forth, thoroughly startling all of the ponies in the room. With a swish, Tucker swung his sword through the air and, to Rarity’s surprise, the blade actually dissipated the magical auras of the security ponies holding him in place.
“Huh. It resists Wyoming’s enhancement and your bullshit magic,” Tucker muttered. Just beside him, a pillar groaned as it collapsed, having been unintentionally split in two.
With a high-pitched shriek, Blueblood backpedalled flanks first into the wall, while around him his security ponies and party guests fled the room in panic. Only Fancy Pants, Fleur Dis Lee, and Rarity’s group remained.
“I say, dear boy…” Fancy said as he sniffed the air and looked at the terrified Blueblood. “Have you soiled yourself?”
Sure enough, when Rarity looked at Blueblood she spotted a large stain on the carpet beneath him. She couldn’t help it. Before she knew it, Rarity was laughing and as soon as Tucker realized it, he joined right in. Blueblood could only sit there as his face turned red.
“Sh-shut up! This is your fault, you know!” the emasculated stallion exclaimed, pointing an accusing hoof at Rarity and Tucker.
“No, this is your fault for being such a pompous jerk in the first place!” Rarity exclaimed, advancing on Blueblood aggressively. All at once, she felt her confidence return, and she got right into the cornered stallion’s face, giving him an intimidating glare. “Now, let’s get back to business, because I have a proposal of my own: You show us how to get into the castle, or I tell everypony in Canterlot about your little accident!”
Blueblood looked at her aghast. “You wouldn’t….”
Rarity turned to address Fancy Pants. “Do you still know Sapphire Shores and Vinyl Scratch?”
“I’m having tea with Ms. Scratch next Tuesday. She’s playing for a charity event I’m hosting.”
“Wonderful. I’m sure she’ll find this hilarious!”
“Okay! Okay! There’s a secret passage through the mountain that connects my mansion to the lower chambers of the castle! My staff will show you where it is, just please don’t tell anyone about this. My reputation will be ruined!” Blueblood pleaded.
Rarity tapped a hoof to her chin before asking, “Out of curiosity, what were you originally planning to ask of me in exchange for this information?”
“I just wanted your help executing a little revenge, honest! There’s a creature among the ones infesting the castle,” Blueblood gestured to Tucker. “Looks just like him, only his armor is white. Calls himself ‘Wyoming.’”
Rarity noticed Tucker’s fists curl up at the mention of the Freelancer. According to Twilight, this “Wyoming” had hunted her throughout her first trip to Repertum, and he’d apparently been a thorn in the Blues’ side well before that.
“I… was going to ask you to make sure he’s quite thoroughly humiliated,” Blueblood continued. “H-he disrespected me.”
“Yeah, we’ll make sure to get right on that,” Tucker said. “I’m sure you two will have lots to talk about on that front.”
About fifteen minutes later, Rarity, Tucker, and Fluttershy were walking through a dim, murky tunnel with the Reds and Pinkie Pie in tow (turns out they had been waiting just beyond Blueblood’s property while Tucker attempted to sneak in). Nothing but the sound of their footsteps and the occasional echoing drips filled the air around the group as they silently pressed forward. Somehow, Rarity found herself walking beside Tucker at the head of the group. With the events of the evening still fresh in her mind, Rarity looked up at him and cleared her throat.
“Tucker?” When the man looked down at her, Rarity took a moment to find adequate words, before settling on something simple. “Thanks. You know… for sticking up for me.”
“Hmm? Oh yeah,” Tucker eloquently replied, waving a dismissive hand. “I just can’t stand seeing assholes like that treat girls like crap.”
Rarity smiled, wondering for the first time whether her initial assessment of the man wasn’t entirely correct.
“Why the fuck do you look so surprised?” Tucker asked in a tone that almost sounded offended.
“No reason. I guess there is a good heart under that crude aqua exterior after all.”
Tucker “hmphed” and seemed ready to let the conversation end there, but then he looked back down at her. “Y’know, you’re probably the first person to get the color of my armor right.”
“Really?” Rarity asked in genuine disbelief.
“Yeah, everyone always calls me ‘cyan’ or ‘greenish-blue.’”
“You’re serious? Are they colorblind?”
“I know, right? ‘Greenish-blue’ isn’t even a real color!”
Rarity laughed, and soon the silence in the tunnel was gone as Rarity found herself actually enjoying her once hated companion’s company.
With a start, Twilight’s eyes shot open and the little unicorn sat up. She had been sleeping quite soundly a moment ago along with the rest of the group (except for Church, who was keeping watch from the top of the tower). She’d dreamt of talking to Celestia and an older unicorn stallion she didn’t recognize. A familiar amber young mare with a fiery mane was there too, but then a series of loud bangs jolted her awake.
Turning to see if anyone else in the group heard the noise, Twilight was surprised when she found herself face to face with a canine muzzle and a pair of big yellow eyes. The diamond dog was moderately small, and wore the steel armor commonly used by its kind. It’s paw was outstretched toward her, and it was frozen in place with the expression of a foal with its hoof caught in the cookie jar.
“AAAAUGH!” Twilight screamed as soon as her brain registered what was happening.
“AAAAAAAAAAUGH!” the diamond dog screamed in reply, mostly because Twilight instinctively threw it back against the wall with a blast of magic.
The diamond dog whimpered as it tried to reorient itself, and promptly met the butt of Agent Washington’s BR, slumping to the ground in unconsciousness. All around her, Twilight’s friends were waking up and pulling themselves to their feet.
“What in the hay’s goin’ on?” Applejack asked as she stood from her spot on the floor. “Is that a diamond dog?!”
“What?! You mean there was a dog, and no one told me?!” Caboose exclaimed.
“It was either trying to steal from us, or kill us in our sleep,” Washington stated.
It was around that moment that Church came down the stairs from the tower’s upper levels. “Hey, was that one of you guys I heard firing a pistol?” he asked.
Twilight’s ears stood up straight as she remembered the noise that had awoken her in the first place. Without saying a word, Washington approached the crumbled side of the tower, looking out over the frozen forest below. Twilight joined him, taking up position on the opposite side of the opening as she looked out over the snowy trees. It was hard to see anything in the darkness of night, but Twilight suddenly saw movement as a shadow crossed into the moonlight.
Then a single bang rang out as a shot from a sniper rifle whizzed between them, and then all Tartarus broke loose. Dozens of shots erupted from the treeline below, a few even coming from the skyline above.
“EVERYONE FALL IN!” Washington shouted, and the other human soldiers took positions around the large opening in the tower’s wall.
“What’s happening?!” Donut shrieked.
“Is it Project Freelancer?” Simmons asked.
“No, Project Freelancer wouldn’t attack like this,” Washington answered, taking a peek out from behind his position of cover. “This is too… uncoordinated. It almost looks like whoever they are they haven’t even been trained to use firearms.”
Glancing back at the unconscious diamond dog, Twilight suddenly had a really bad feeling. “Hey Church, can I see the scope?”
“Y’know, if you’re gonna ask for the damn thing so much, why don’t ya just keep it?” Church asked, nevertheless tossing his rifle to Twilight.
“I might as well, considering your skill with it!” Twilight teased as she caught the rifle in her magic.
“Alright. Guess I set myself up for that one….”
Carefully, Twilight peeked out of the tower looking through the sniper’s scope and tried to get a bead on one of their attackers. She found one, and her fears were confirmed when she saw a figure resembling a griffon moving cautiously forward, firing wildly and inaccurately with a Battle Rifle. Adjusting her sights, Twilight spotted a couple of ponies and a zebra crouched behind a fallen tree, all using assault rifles. They seemed just as inexperienced with the weapons as the griffon, letting the recoil “walk” their weapons upwards with every burst of fire. Twilight was reminded of her own brief experience using the weapons. Just behind them, a group of diamond dogs were moving up, similarly armed.
Twilight took a couple of shots at the advancing enemies. She couldn’t bring herself to shoot to kill, but she fired enough around them to stop their advance and force them into cover. Washington, on the other hand, had no such reservations, and downed a few of them with well placed shots. The others were quick to follow suit with the exception of Church, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who with no weapons to shoot back with could only hang back and watch.
“They aren’t human soldiers,” Twilight reported, lowering her rifle. “It looks like the sellswords my brother warned us about!”
“So why the hell do they have human weapons, then?” Church asked. Twilight was wondering that herself.
“That doesn’t matter right now,” Washington said, taking another shot. “Based on the gunfire, I count at least fifty of them down there, and that’s not including the vapor trails coming from the cloud formations above. They may not have the training to use their equipment, but they’ll completely overrun this position if we stay here.”
“Great,” Simmons sighed. “What would Sarge do if he were here?”
“Probably something like ‘Shiver me timbers! Prepare to board! Something else that has to do with wood!’” Caboose exclaimed in a poor imitation of Sarge’s nonexistent pirate accent.
Twilight glanced out to where the sheer icy cliff their tower stood against opened up into the Emerald Pass. “We can flee into the pass. They won’t be able to flank us in that tight space.”
“Yeah! It’ll be a shooting gallery once they start lining up to go after us!” Church exclaimed. “Even I couldn’t miss them.”
“Yar! We’ll send them down to David Jonathan’s Locker!” Caboose added.
“A system of ice caves runs all around the pass, we can hide in there once we’ve forced them to back off,” Twilight continued, having turned ignoring Caboose into an art form by this point.
“Okay, now we just need a way to create an opening,” Washington said, taking another look at the stretch of open ground between their tower and the pass. The sellswords had proven to be lousy shots so far, but with so many gunning for them, one or two were bound to get in a lucky shot if their targets spent too much time out in the open.
“Leave that to me!” Rainbow exclaimed, spreading her wings. “I can distract them long enough for you guys to get a good head start. I’ll create a signal, then you guys run for it.”
“Okay, what’s the signal?” Church asked.
“Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it!”
“Ya sure yer fit to fly, RD?” Applejack asked, taking a concerned glance at the pegasus’ wing.
Rainbow just gave her friend a smile and a shrug. “Hey… it’s me!”
With a flap of her wings, Rainbow took off and flew straight through the hole in the tower’s wall, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake.
“Applejack, can you carry the diamond dog?” Washington asked as he loaded a fresh magazine into his rifle. “When we get out of this, I’d like to have a little chat with him.”
Looking at the knocked out canine, Twilight remembered the circumstances leading up to this mess. Had the gunshots that awoke her come from an overly enthusiastic sellsword? It was extremely lucky if that was the case, considering things might be playing out very differently if they’d still been asleep.
Twilight was never one for any of the religions of the world, but she couldn’t help but get the feeling somebody was watching over them that night.
Carefully and quietly, Sunny Side opened the flap of the tent and peeked inside. Thankfully, Silversteel still appeared to be asleep in his sleeping bag, unaware of her absence for the past few hours. Mindful of her every sound, Sunny slipped back into the tent and carefully placed the magnum back into Silversteel’s saddlebag, hoping the stallion wouldn’t notice that the magazine was now a few rounds emptier.
Her decision to sneak out in the middle of the night to keep an eye on Twilight and the others proved to be a smart one. She and Silversteel had been following them ever since they left the Crystal Empire. The pair of mercs lost the group after running into a large herd of wights, but based on the map of the region the griffon Graywing had provided (which included their targets’ predicted destination) Sunny had correctly guessed they’d have made camp at the old watchtower outside the Emerald Pass.
A large portion of the Whitewater contingent was already in position when she arrived, and they’d even sent a diamond dog into her comrades’ camp to retrieve something or other. Fortunately, a few shots from her sidearm seemed to have alerted them to the enemy’s presence. Sunny hadn’t stuck around for the actual fight that followed, but the shooting stopped not long after she left. She only hoped it was a sign her comrades had managed to escape.
As Sunny climbed into her own sleeping bag to try and get what little sleep she could, Silversteel stirred next to her. “Sunny?” he groaned. “Did you go somewhere?”
“Just had to use the little fillies’ room, Silver,” she said with practiced nonchalance. “Go back to sleep.”
“But… you’ve been gone for hours.”
“It was, uh... an eventful homecoming,” Sunny put on her best scowl. “And I’ll thank you for staying out of my personal affairs!”
“Told you not to eat that stale carrot,” Silversteel muttered with a sleepy grin to which Sunny responded with a rude hoof gesture. Silversteel rolled back over. “So… why’d you bring the gun?”
Sunny hesitated for a few brief moments before answering, “It’s the Frozen North, Silver. You never know what you’re gonna run into out here….”
Her right wing twinged with each flap, but Rainbow Dash ignored it. It had been nearly a week since she’d flown like this, and she needed to feel the wind rushing through her mane again. That had been part of the reason she’d been so quick to volunteer to play decoy.
She dodged and weaved around the gunfire, letting instinct take control as she soared over the trees and the small army of sellswords below. She passed under the cloud where the airborne gunfire was coming from and began to fly straight up. She climbed higher and higher until she was one with the moon and stars, then she flipped over and let gravity pull her down. Angling her body as straight as possible, Rainbow continued to build more speed, flapping her wings to aid gravity’s downward pull toward the gunfire emitting cloud.
The wind roared as it whooshed past, she felt her mane and tail being pulled back and her lips soon followed. She saw trails of water vapor begin to take a conical shape around her, and despite the increasing pain in her right wing and the immense G-forces fighting to fling her back into the sky, Rainbow grinned as the griffons and pegasi on the cloud below grew bigger and bigger. She was back.
Rainbow shot through the center of the occupied cloud right as her immense speed built up to an explosive crescendo. A technicolor explosion dissipated the cloud and sent its occupants flying uncontrollably through the air. As Rainbow Dash tilted back up towards the sky, she glanced back at her work. The sonic rainboom had sent most of her winged enemies crashing to the ground below, but there were still a few that managed to right themselves in the air; three griffons and a pair of pegasi.
The largest griffon, who wore an eyepatch and was wielding the sniper rifle barked some orders while pointing at her. The other two griffons and pegasi immediately reoriented themselves in her direction and began to give chase. Thinking fast, Rainbow flew low and headed straight for the Emerald Pass, seeing Twilight, Church, and the others running towards it below. Flying into the pass, Rainbow checked her six to make sure her four pursuers did the same.
Just like the map indicated, the Emerald Pass was a narrow, winding corridor of icy cliffs with several rock protrusions sticking out of the ground and walls. It was insanely treacherous flying, but it was no Ghastly Gorge. Rainbow weaved between the many large rock protrusions with ease while behind her, the sellswords were having significantly more trouble. One of the griffons was the first to go as he tried to follow Rainbow between a pair of rock pillars that were just a little too close together for a full grown griffon.
One of the pegasi was the next to go, failing to make a rather sharp turn in time and crashing face first into the icy wall. The other pegasus was on her tail next, and what was more, this one still had a gun. She fired a couple of shots at Rainbow Dash, but they all passed wide of their mark. The pegasus mare tried to take more careful aim with her weapon, but failed to notice exactly where she was flying. Her wing nicked the side of a large protrusion in the wall of the pass, sending the mare spinning out of control into another icy pillar, shifting a precariously stacked boulder from its top. For one glorious moment, Rainbow thought the large rock would take out the one remaining griffon as it fell, but her pursuer dove and weaved beneath the plummeting obstacle with ease.
Rainbow tried shaking the griffon with more fancy aerial acrobatics, but the griffoness matched her every move with practiced ease. Realizing it wasn’t working, Rainbow decided to opt for speed over fancy maneuvers and pushed ahead harder, her right wing complaining as she did so. When she looked back, Rainbow was shocked to see that the griffon was not only keeping up, she was gaining on her.
“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding!” Rainbow exclaimed as she pushed herself even harder.
But no matter how fast she flew, the griffon on her tail just kept gaining until soon enough the two were side by side. Seeing the pass open up to a field of snow ahead of her, Rainbow tried flapping even harder. If she could just work up enough speed for another sonic rainboom….
“AUGH!” Rainbow screamed as a sudden jolt of pain shot through her wing, and before she knew it Rainbow was falling towards the ground. Landing hard on her side, Rainbow rolled and skidded until she came to a stop in the snow. Groaning in pain, Rainbow forced herself to her feet and clutched the damaged wing, feeling a sticky wetness. Drawing her hoof back, Rainbow saw a fresh bit of blood running down it.
Then the griffon was upon her. The wind was knocked out of Rainbow as the large avian body-checked her back to the ground. Rainbow struggled and thrashed with all her might, but the larger griffon was quickly able to hold her down. Breathing heavily, the two combatants glared into each other’s eyes until the griffon’s own suddenly grew wide.
Rearing her head back, the griffon looked down at Rainbow with an expression of pure shock before whispering in a familiar rasp, “Dash…?”
Rainbow studied the griffon and suddenly her features grew familiar. Rainbow recognized the light brown coat, purple tipped feathers, and light amber eyes and scowled as she heard a second set of wings flap, announcing another’s arrival. The large male griffon with the eyepatch that Rainbow noticed earlier stepped up behind the familiar one pinning her down.
“Nice work, Gilda,” he said in a deep rasp. “Good to see you’re earning your keep.”
Gilda looked over her shoulder at the imposing griffon with a smile that seemed slightly nervous. Wincing from another spike of pain, Rainbow looked away from her old “friend” and down at her bloody wing; at the wound that had so thoroughly been reopened.