Chapter 8: Oh No-Din!
“So… um…”
“Hmmm?”
“I was just wondering…”
“Yes?”
“How did… how exactly… uh… did you…”
Odin sighed, rubbing his wrinkled brow. He pointed to the eyepatch covering his right eye. “It’s about the eyepatch, isn’t it?”
Celestia smiled awkwardly. “Well… yes. I didn’t want to seem rude or anything—”
“Oh no, my dear, it’s perfectly natural to wonder how someone lost a body part.” Odin tugged at his pristine white beard, the Norse God of the Highest Order pondering in deep thought. “Well, to be truthful, the story isn’t a very interesting one. Not even fit as a tale of legends in the halls of Valhalla.”
Celestia perked up. “Oh, but surely it must be an interesting story to tell. You are a god, after all. From my last encounter with one of your kind, interesting tales are practically part of your job.”
Odin chuckled, taking a long guzzle of his mead before continuing. “Well, it happened countless years ago, when I sought out a way to obtain ultimate and unlimited knowledge over all things and all times, both the past, present, and even future.”
“Really?” Celestia asked, her jaw dropped in awe. “How did that work out for you?”
“Oh, well enough. I got that knowledge from Mimir, the one said to know all things at all times. I was allowed to drink from his well of wisdom, which instantly filled me with knowledge over everything.” He shrugged, tapping his eyepatch. “All I had to do was trade my eye. Which, I think, was a pretty decent deal overall. Though it makes my depth perception shit.”
Celestia giggled, soon joining Odin in hearty laughter. The two toasted mugs, Celestia able to keep pace with Odin’s barbarous drinking manner as he quickly drained his mug in one large gulp.
Her cheeks now flushed with red, Celestia asked, “So, was unlimited knowledge over everything really worth the loss of an eye? What if that Mimir character had asked for an arm or leg instead?”
Odin barked out a laugh, leaning in close to Celestia with a palm cupping his mouth. “Well, for all the unlimited knowledge in all of existence, Mimir wasn’t exactly the brightest fellow. Got his head chopped right off. In the long run, I lost an eye over ultimate wisdom, while Mimir lost his head!” Choking back a laugh, Odin muttered, “I still have it with me. Wanna see it? He never stops babbling about this and that whenever I take him out.”
“Um… no thank you. I think I can go without having a conversation with a disembodied head.”
Odin shrugged, saying, “Eh, suit yourself.”
Celestia’s eyes widened, and she turned around in her seat to glare at the front door of the restaurant the two were dining at. Her attention so precisely focused on the door, Odin arched a brow.
“Might you entertain me with the reason why the princess of Equestria is staring at a door?” Odin asked.
“Whenever one of my dates seems to be going decently, something bad happens,” Celestia answered, narrowing her brows. “And usually, it’s by my date’s wife.”
“Well, you have nothing to worry about from mine. We’re…” Odin sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “separated for the time being.”
Celestia looked back to Odin, her glare softening at his distraught face. “Oh, Odin, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“No, no, it’s quite alright.” Odin sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “It’s been a tough time for me lately. Truthfully, I haven’t been out in centuries. My son finally convinced me to do this date, worried I’d be fretting over my wife for all of eternity if I didn’t move on.”
Celestia smiled, reaching out and laying her hoof gentely over his hand. “Well, you have nothing to worry about from me, Odin. Interestingly enough, my sister—”
She was cut off from a sudden explosion that rocked the restaurant to its foundations, causing a wall to implode inward. A figure stepped out of the dust and rubble. He was a godly man much like Odin, except thinner and wearing a helmet with two large and ridiculously extended horns curving inward. Raising a scepter at the pair, the god shouted, “Father, this affair shall go on no further!”
Odin got out of his seat and slammed a hand against the table, splitting it in two. “Damnit, Loki, I don’t have time for your squabbles! I have told you time and time again, your mother and I are no longer seeing each other!”
“Lies!” Loki yelled, his scepter glowing a more furious blue. “How dare you betray mother like this!”
Celestia ducked under the split table as Loki released a barrage of scepter blasts, reducing the floor to dust but otherwise petering off of Odin’s body. “Who is this guy?” Celestia asked, risking a peek out from the table.
Odin groaned deeply, wiping a hand across his wrinkled face. “My son, Loki. He’s having trouble accepting the fact his mother and I are separating.”
“I thought your son set you up on this date in the first place!”
“That was my other son, Thor.”
“You have more than one son?”
“I have a lot of sons. You lose count over the centuries.”
Before Celestia could reply, thunder roared in the distance, then lightning struck the building and nearly sent another wall toppling into ruin.
Odin chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “Well, I be damned, looks like Thor made it after all. You’re in for a real treat here, Celestia. Not often do I battle one of my sons.”
Odin withdrew a golden spear from apparently nowhere, then charged at Loki. All the while lightning continued to rain down from above onto the restaurant’s roof. In the mean time, Celestia drew herself up into the fetal position.
“That’s it, no more dating gods. It always ends up in messed up family disputes.” Celestia winced as another section of the wall in the building crumbled. “Also, no more listening to Luna. That always ends in messed up family disputes as well.”
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Oh dear Pantheon in heaven...
With the cameo appearances of Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Tom Hiddleson as Loki. Because...why the hell not?
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeee
can you do Sleipnir? At least he's an equine! Or Cernian? They're not gods, just associated with them. Please?
This cannot be the end. . .We must have Dr Who. Or Dr. Whooves.
Ha ha Ha!
Damn. Poor Celestia...
But wait I thought the God Emperor of Mankind was next? and frankly most immortal beings in fiction are gods...
YOU. MUST. DARKSIDERS. WAR. OR. DEATH (war is a better choice since death, well, you know, is a little bit sadistic)
Totally saw this coming.
Anyway...
Yes! now you can do Aku. (￣▽￣人)
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31.media.tumblr.com/e91d8d54cb2ffd1abd717ee7a0ce5b4f/tumblr_inline_n1zvnkMzsp1rzs05b.gif
~Leonzilla
A rule of thumb I live by, Pantheon gods make for messy relationships and families, you know half the problems in Greece came about because Zeus couldn't keep it in his pants. And I don't wanna know how Loki has, an Eight legged god horse, a world devouring rainbow snake, a god eating wolf, and a half dead goddess of the underworld for children, and he's the mother in at least one of those.
4180520 Oh yeah, the 8 legged bastard horse birthed by Loki.
Actually, that would be pretty fucking funny.
4180533
Ha, like Celestia sticks by her word during dangerous conflicts going about her.
I think it would be hysterical if Pinkie Pie showed up and something happened to prove she was immortal, then Celestia's like, "Well, I can't say the door has ever swung that way before, but..."
4180540 I second Aku
It's odd how all religions with multiple gods have really messed up families, Celestia's included.
Though, given my own knowledge of Odin and watching movies and animated shorts of him and such, it was odd reading him swear and act like that. I got Zeus, he was a lecherous douchebag, but Odin I always imagined as a seasoned veteran with a cool, level head on his shoulders.
Still, it was an interesting chapter and I do want to see who comes next. (Hopefully Celestia will find the one.)
Do Jesus or slender mane/ slenderman
No more Gods?
Jesus will surely be disappointed.
Aah. Nothing like a good family fight.
4180572
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daviddemar.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/aku_by_mystic_forces.jpg
It's implied through the entire Samurai Jack series that he can die. However he never does. In all four seasons that the show ran Aku was not kill for real even once. ;)
well it was not a wife........
4180597 So much Aku!
4180574
Celestia actually finding the one? You DO remember who's writing this fic, right?
Now do Galactus from the Marvel comics!
Atticus O'Sullivan! (Iron Druid Chronicles)
Or Gilgamesh! (Final Fantasy multiverse)
4180572
Why would Celestia go on a date with the embodiment of all evil?
4180655 Well, he would most likely start the date in disguise, probably as a good guy. Also, she already dated Cthulu, why not Aku? Plus, status (besides immortality) don't seem to be an issue here.
Please do Cayden Cailean soon.
4180542 That would be almost impossible, seeing he could currently be the Lord of Cinder or a pile of dust. I would recommend the chosen undead, or the dark souls 2 equivalent.
SO, are we finally going to see Captain Jack Harkness?
Or Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged?
Bob, the god of gods from What's Love Got To Do With It? Because it would be hilarious.
Well. At least it wasn't a wife. But, it still could have gone better.
Do Cenarius also.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120204191859/wowwiki/images/2/2e/Cenarius.png
Poor Celestia, how long will it take you to realize your true OTP is Twilight?
Kyuubey
I think I spelled that right
Nasus from League of Legends is demigod. Also Ryze/Kassadin/Viktor/Malzahar are immortal (I guess). So I will suggest them.
4180565 I very much want
Tyrion Lannister!
4180574 I imagine Odin as being more like Sauron, since they are both extremely similar, as Tolkien drew some inspiration for the Dark Lord from the god king.
4180748
Or, instead of Captain Jack, have it start off with the Doctor, and then have Jack come in and make it exceedingly awkward with his(occasionally excessive) flirtatiousness.
4180540 skeeter the lurker would be proud.
THIS IS HERESY! WHERE IS THE EMPRAH?!
4180540
Only if Sombra kicks in the door and complains at Aku. "Dad! Seriously, I JUST dated her. Back off!"
4180564 Ah well... I've sent you a guest chapter... its with a god. Hope you accept it :D
4180597
Actually, immortal doesn't necessarily mean "cannot be killed", just that they "cannot die" - generally of natural causes. Aging, disease, poison. Otherwise they'd be 'invulnerable', which has nothing to do with being immortal in and of itself.
So, even if Aku can be sliced to death by Jack's Sword of Harmony-stuff, he's still immortal. Especially seeing as he's a fragment of the cosmic darkness.
4180646 GILGAMESH! MY GOD. DO GILGAMESH. I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER.
Couldn't help it; read all of Odin's dialogue in Anthony Hopkins' voice,
I was going to add another vote to Jack Harkness, but you know what? Screw it; go for the Face of Boe.
… Now you have to do Barragan!
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090422111322/bleach/en/images/thumb/0/04/Barragan_Luisenbarn.jpg/250px-Barragan_Luisenbarn.jpg
And he will ham up the entire meal.
"You dare question me, GIRL? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM BARRAGAN LOUISENBAIRN, GOD-KING OF HUECO MUNDO!"
4168125
All my yes.
The Eve Online player in me wants to kind of see Jamyl Sarum. Dunno how that'd work, but eh, 's a pipe dream.
Y'know, multiple personality disorder and all, on an effectively immortal ruler. The one personality's a religious zealot, and the other major one's a bloody warmonger, both with no remorse!
4181012
I like this idea too.
I love this story, and while gods can cause trouble I'm still going to vote for...
mewtwohavoka.weebly.com/uploads/9/7/8/9/9789084/1525818_orig.jpg
Lord Arceus!
Although seeing Captian Marvel/Shazam/Billy Betson, would be hilarious I must admit.