“Are you quite sure this is necessary, sister?” Luna asked. She watched from her own seat while the solar alicorn scrolled the mouse down the list of replies in her notforeveralone.com profile’s message box, briefly checking over each one and occasionally hitting the ‘delete’ button. “You could be passing up a plethora of immortals that you’d truly love once you get to know them.”
Celestia’s gaze never left the computer screen as she replied. “I don’t care, Luna. I’ve got so many replies that I’ll still be going through this list when mother finally decides to end our universe.” She moved onto another page of replies and resumed her self-imposed task of weeding out which ones she thought would end in disaster. “No... no... no... never in a whole lifetime.... hmm?”
“Something the matter, sister?” Luna asked, looking over her sister’s shoulder to view the screen.
“Not really,” Celestia answered. Her eyes were transfixed to the computer screen; specifically, at the user’s profile she had selected. The most apt description it could be given was fiery, and Celestia couldn’t help but blush at the handsome figure depicted in the various pictures strewn about the page. “I just noticed this guy is a fellow sun god is all.”
“Really!” Luna exclaimed, and shoved her sister out of the chair.
“Hey!” Celestia said.
Luna eyed the profile with a critical gaze, and after a few moments of doing so wolf-whistled. “Celestia, if there was ever a date which you absolutely, positively, irrefutably had to accept, it would be this one.”
Celestia stood up and brushed some dirt off her pristine white feathers before casting a doubtful look at the screen. “I don’t know, Luna; I’ve never been into boisterous types, and this guy clearly is that type.”
“Irrelevant!” Luna declared dramatically, shooting a hoof toward the ceiling. “He is a sun god, therefore the two of you are mutually compatible!”
Celestia shot Luna a furrowed gaze. “Luna, there’s more to compatibility than one shared trait, even one as large as having control over the sun. Even I know this.”
“Yes, but, uh...” Luna quickly used her magic to move the mouse and click the ‘accept’ button. She then bolted from the room quicker than a cheetah, giggling the whole way.
Celestia sighed in exasperation and turned to the computer screen. “This can’t possibly end well.”
“So,” Celestia said, using her magic to stir some sugar into her coffee, “what’s life like being your world’s sun god?”
The solar alicorn and her date were in what was possibly the only completely fireproof restaurant in all of existence. Every single surface was built to withstand temperatures of over ten million degrees Fahrenheit, which included all the tables, booths, and seats as well as the dinnerware and utensils.
It was the only restaurant which Celestia’s date could visit without burning the place down just from stepping in the door, as his muscular bipedal body was completely engulfed in flames. His skin was bright red and had yellow markings along each limb, his chest, and his neck. His entire body had a glowing green outline which was the same color as both his eyes and a round jewel of sorts in his forehead.
“Well, pretty pony,” Pyrrhon said, his voice radiating with energy and confidence, “some like to think Pyrrhon isn’t really a god, saying I’m only the self-proclaimed god of the sun.” He flexed his arms and flashed Celestia a cocky smirk. “They would be wrong, for only Pyrrhon can command that big flaming ball of life-giving heat in the sky!”
“I don’t doubt your status as a god,” Celestia replied, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. “I’m just curious as to how our jobs compare to each other.”
“That depends, beautiful,” Pyrrhon said, cupping his flaming hands under his chin while retaining his confident expression. “Does your reign entail taking down villainous scum and giving them a heaping helping of stir-fried justice!?” Pyrrhon ended his query by striking a heroic pose, making sure to show off every last inch of his bulging, uber hot muscles.
Celestia wasn’t impressed by the display, and she merely shook her head with a small smile. “No, no, that’s my student-turned-fellow princess Twilight Sparkle’s job.” A mischievous glint shined in her eye as a cheeky smile spread across her lips. “Whenever one of my past nuisances returns and begins causing trouble, I always send her and her friends to deal with it.”
Pyrrhon regarded her with a curious expression before letting out a hearty laugh. “You don’t say? Reminds me of Palutena always sending Pit to mop up evil doers even though she’s capable of doing it herself.”
Celestia’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, you know Palutena?”
“Indeed, Pyrrhon does,” he confirmed. “Sweet gal, but she doesn’t like interfering with the lives of mortals... directly at least.” He rested an elbow on the table with a single hand cupped under his chin. “So, how’d you meet her?”
“I had a date with Hades a while back,” Celestia replied. “Turns out Palutena was also dating one of my.... associates, let’s say, at the same restaurant.”
“No kidding,” Pyrrhon said. “Let me guess, things went south?”
“They always do on my dates,” Celestia groaned.
”Perhaps I can lift your spirits then,” a heavenly voice soothed from above.
Both sun deities craned their necks upward, and were met with the smiling face of Lady Palutena through an astral projection. Behind her was a sky backdrop with the tops of some buildings peeking over the bottom of the image.
“I hope I’m not intruding on anything too . . . intimate,” the light goddess said with a cheeky tone.
“Palutena?” Celestia said, very much surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Shouldn’t you and Pit both be at that—oh what’s it called,” Pyrrhon snapped his flaming fingers repeatedly, trying to remember, “Super something-something?”
“Yes, we’re at the Super Smash Bros tournament,” Palutena answered, before returning her attention to Celestia. ”But a goddess can drop in and say hi to a friend, right?”
Celestia smiled. “Of course.”
Palutena observed the setup. “I see you’re still on the dating scene,” she noted before looking to Pyrrhon with a concerned frown. “Pyrrhon, does this mean you’ve found a safe location to dump the Aurum at?”
The boisterous sun god appeared to space out for a moment before bringing his hands down to his sides and chortling. “Pyrrhon knew there was a reason he asked Celestia out on this date!”
Celestia looked back and forth between the two gods before settling on Pyrrhon with a furrowed expression. “Pyrrhon, what aren’t you telling me?” she ground out.
“Well, princess,” Pyrrhon said, still not breaking his confident demeanor, “Pyrrhon may have asked you out on this date to ask for a favor.”
Celestia groaned, then rubbed the bridge of her muzzle before returning a hard stare to her date. “Okay then, what is it you want my help with?”
“Pyrrhon has a bit of a dilemma on his hands,” he explained. “You see, beautiful, our world was attacked by the Aurum, who are ‘beckoned by destruction and corruption’ and came to harvest the Earth for themselves.” He cracked his knuckles and struck another pose. “Of course, no space invaders win when put against Pyrrhon and his almighty pyroblasters!”
Palutena tsked. “Don’t believe that last part, Celestia,” she told the solar alicorn. “All he did was merge with the Aurum and try to take control of them, only to get controlled by them instead. It’s only because of Pit that we were able to put a stop to their plans.”
Celestia did her best to suppress a giggle in response.
“Anyway,” Pyrrhon continued, his outgoing attitude dampened a tad, “now Pyrrhon needs to find a place to put the Aurum where they won’t be a harm any longer, and since your world is known for its harmonious nature—”
“—you want to move these aliens to Equestria, because it’s plagued with so little destruction and corruption?” Celestia finished.
“You read my mind, beautiful,” the sun god replied. “So, whaddya say, princess? Care to help a fellow sun god out?”
“...You know what? Sure.” Celestia smiled mischievously. “And I know exactly where to put them.”
“I will ruin you, sister!” Luna screeched as she chased a hysterical Celestia down the halls of Canterlot Castle. “Nopony defaces my moon and gets away with it!”
“Serves you right for forcing me onto that last date!” Celestia called back through her giggles. She made a sharp turn around a corner, passing two night guards who watched with indifference as she barreled down the hallway.
“ARRRRRRGH!” Luna screamed, turning the corner and charging like a locomotive down the hallway after her sister, eyes blazing with pure, unbridled rage.
“Hey, dude?” one guard said to the other once the sisters were out of earshot.
“Yes?” the other replied, turning to face his partner.
“On a scale of one to ten, with one being ‘she’s taking it very well’ and ten being ‘she’s lost her marbles’, how much is her highness overreacting?”
The other guard looked through the window across the hallway. The moon shone brightly in the sky, radiating a calming energy which helped to soothe the ponies of Equestria into slumber. Orbiting around the giant rock was a ring of glowing green lights, each individual one representing the presence of an Aurum ship. The sight made some ponies ask whether a snowstorm was forthcoming, but the pegasi denied the possibility because weather protocol forbid snow during the summer months. Other than the oddity, however, no actual harm had come about from the Aurum’s relocation around the moon.
The guard looked back to his fellow. “Twelve,” he replied. “‘She’s gone batshit crazy’.”
Okay, that's pretty damn funny.
Hey, Luna! Karma is a whorse,isn't it?!
Luna, surely you saw this coming.
Hmmn, if sun gods are getting called on there is one we need: Ra. And then Apep needs to crash the date.
Quetzalcoatl should be a potential date. Nothing says "God" like a massive feathered snake that devours hearts in exchange for making the sun move.
4675241 She didn't; she really didn't
4675284 Words of wisdom, let's see how the next date goes.
Yes, I will enjoy consuming thy flesh, puny humans.
Quite a quick update, this was. Thank you, RainbowBob.
Hooray for insanity! We're all insane, just some are more open about it. Myself included .
Gwyn! Gwyn! Gwyn!
...who the hell are you?
XD
Ra we need to do some egyption gods in here
The Doctor, if you haven't already. (Not sure if he's 100% immortal, but maybe close enough to count?)
4675670 This man speaks of wisdom.
4675707 there is already a doctor chapter
I had a feelingthat it would be him.
This getting good and we still need Miss Frizzle! TO HELL that she's not immortal!
Sheogorath, daedric prince of madness
Ra's Al ghul
4675730 yes this girl does speak wisdom
4675893 Whoops..... sorry.
4675896 on the internet you really can't tell, it would be moronic to get upset
4675707 David Tennant is best doctor! (Just saying)
Vampire pony Rose Petal try going on a date with her and if you don't know her go to deviantart.com
Celestia and Apollo go on a double date with Luna and Hades.
Most likely a day late and a dollar short but how about RA.
4675933 Agreed. Although Matt Smith definitely takes a close second.
4676068 Matt Smith starts off his reign by abandoning a seven year old girl, breaking the TARDIS and getting the sonic screwdriver broken. I warmed up to him eventually, but it's hard to compare to David Tennant.
4675880 We already had a Sheogorath chapter. Other one is still open though.
Just because it'd be a fun misunderstanding, how about having Celestia go to what she thinks is a repeat date with Pyrrhon and instead finding herself face to face with Pyron from Darkstalkers? (for those who don't know, Pyron is not a Sun God... he's a SUN, period. Yes, a living, talking mass of superheated plasma)
Of course, most Darkstalkers would make for a deliciously messed-up date, from Zabel "Lord Raptor" Zakrock (a psychotic zombie) to Morrigan (a Greater Succubus and current ruler of Makai) to Jedah (a wannabe savior of the universe whose concept of "saving" includes "destroying most of it"). Basically, impending insanity. Baby Bonnie Hood and Deadpool crashing the date at the same time and turning the whole place into a deranged gunfight scene would be just icing on the cake...
:D
alucard, of hellsing ultimate
MORE KID ICARUS! YES! Now, for a recommendation: Deus Ex Machina, from Mirai Nikki:
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120302145752/futurediary/images/c/c9/Deus_Ex_Machina2.jpg
Not only is he given voice by THE GLORIOUS NORIO WAKAMOTO, but he's also pretty much a god, too. If you watched the show as well, you'd know that he's FAR from immortal, as well. But, then again, nobody really is. Seriously. There's a way to kill literally every single one of these characters, even IF it's quite time-consuming and/or self-destructive. Jack Harkness? Reach into the Time Vortex, and remove his immortality. Deadpool? Fry him down to the last cell. Pyrrhon? Hit him hard enough, he'll die sooner or later. Solaire? Find a cure for the Undead curse (easier said than done, but still not impossible). Proceed to send him alone against ANY boss. Hades? Well, if you played Uprising, you'd know how HIS story ended. Armageddon? If it weren't for his Joker Immunity, he'd be dead after any one of his tassels with Superman! Celestia? Give me a spoon, a pack of cigarettes, a container of chicken feathers, and a balaclava. She'll be out of commission in five days. Trust me.
Long story short, do Norio Wakamoto- Er, I mean Deus.
4675254
No, no. Set needs to tag along as Ra's bodyguard, which, being that he is a chaos god, will utterly thrill Celestia. So Ra talks him into going to the bar with Discord rather than hanging around as a third wheel on Ra's date... and then Apep crashes the date. Since it's supposed to be Set's job to protect Ra from Apep, but at this point Set and Discord are totally drunk.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/ce/Eragon_book_cover.png
Ra's Al Ghul
please for the love of all that is pony! give us abridged Alucard!
lord DeRossa from bravely default
All this talk of sun gods makes me want to see Ignus Divine of Exalted on the dating scene. Of course, one would have to get him away from the XBox of the Titans, and we all know that isn't happening...
In any case, very well done, Razalon. In fact, it seems like this might actually work out for a second date.
...so, taking that into consideration, I think you technically failed.
I would seriously love to see Pelor. He's loving, gentle, a sun god, not excessively self-obsessed, and, like Celestia, rarely directly intervenes in trouble. Plus, the whole thing could get ruined when Vecna or Gruumsh busts down a wall and tackles him. XD
4677645 Except Celestia said she isn't into boisterous types. Thanks anyway though.
4677796
Ah. Valid point, that. My apologies.
4676085 Not on purpose. They're both lovable dorks in their own way.
4677851 No worries.
I'm pretty sure SpongeBob is immortal at this point.
4675670 If we're gonna do Egyptian gods, then we need to get Anubis and Sobek on the scene; both are major league hunks if you ask me.
4678185 Anubis eh?
housepetscomic.com/comics/2012-11-15-Guest%20Strip%20by%20Karishad%20and%20Stu.png
4678210 Heh, if he doesn't want him, can I have him? ^.=.^
4677873 Every Doctor is a lovable dork. But I see your point.
Exodia the Forbidden One of Yu-Gi-Oh.
"It gets so tiring to always be ordered around. Exodia, obliterate this! Obliterate that! I get that it's all in fun for these mortals, but it's not the only thing I'm good for. I'm just saying, sometimes it'd be nice to have some downtime."
4678774 I am 100% in favor of this matchup.
Gotta beg for Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, once again.