Chapter 45: Eleven Is Literally One For One
“I must admit, this is actually quite pleasant.”
“Indeed. I often come down here to relax. Kick my feet back. Mellow in the mood of tranquility this place offers. Also, to practice knitting.”
“This is just a really peachy date.” Celestia furrowed her brow and stared at the insignia on a red banner hanging against a wall. “Also, what exactly does that symbol stand for? I’ve been seeing a lot of it.”
The Eleventh Doctor sipped at his coffee, eying the swastika Celestia was pointing to against the grey wall of the even greyer bunker. “That, erm, means good luck for many cultures on Earth.” The Doctor took another sip of his coffee and smack his lips. “I have to admit, Hitler has the best machine to brew a mean cup of joe.”
“You think Hitler would mind us using his bunker for our date?” Celestia asked.
The Eleventh Doctor glanced upward as a boom resonated in the halls of the bunker, the floor shaking with a tremor that soon passed once the dust stopped falling from overhead. “Oh, I don’t think he’ll mind.”
Celestia regarded the Doctor as he returned his focus back to the knitting project at hand. Much like his earlier incarnation, he was young, yet still appeared infinitely older than his appearance gave away. His chin was very prominent, along with his ears—but never as much as the Ninth Doctor was—and his cheekbones were sharp on his features. His nose stuck out a tad bit, but in a way Celestia found kind of cute, and his soft eyes and wavy hair certainly made up for it. He wore a tweed jacket and light brown button up with plain blue pants and a single red bowtie to complete the look. By a long shot, the plainest appearance of all the Doctors, but one whose simplicity made it still very striking.
The Doctor chuckled, his hands a flurry of movement as his knitting needles continued to move, never resting. “You know, it’s funny. You ponies don’t talk that much differently than normal horses on Earth.”
Celestia arched a brow. “Is that so?”
“The language is not that different from English. The horses, that is. Amazing how two completely species have such similar roots in their vernacular. Although, I suppose that could be because of the strong bond between horses and humans, seeing how they’re beasts of burden and often companions for early man. But then that arises the question of whether human language was derived from horse language or the vice verse, and that’s where things get really interesting.”
Celestia gulped down her coffee as the Doctor rambled on and on, her nodding appropriately at the right places. She didn’t mind this, of course, and in some way appreciated someone else doing all the talking for once. The Doctor often made erratic hand gestures in between his sentences, still able to knit all the while without any trouble. The best Celestia could guess to what exactly he was knitting was a scarf, but one much too large and colorful to be considered appropriate for wear. In fact, it seemed oddly familiar.
“Did you hear something?”
Celestia blinked. She set her coffee down, her eyes scanning her concrete surroundings.
“Was it another tremor?”
The Doctor shook his head, setting his knitting needles down slowly. “No. The earth isn’t shaking. This… this is something else.”
Faintly, far, far away in the background a noise could be heard. It echoed throughout the halls, so distant one could barely make it out. Except for the Doctor, of course.
“No…” He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, parting it to the side in a wave. “No. No, no, no, no. It can’t be!”
“What? What can’t be?” Celestia rose and glanced over the Doctor’s shoulder to the reinforced steel doors that were the entrance to the bunker.
“It’s the worst possible thing that could have ever have happened.” The Doctor held a hand against his brow and sighed deeply, just as the distant noise increased in volume and proximity. “It’s…”
“The Chicken Dance,” Celestia whispered. Flashbacks of parties at the castle and a certain pink pony reverberated in her mind. “By the gods, it’s the Chicken Dance.”
“EXTEEEEEEEEERMINATE!”
“Oh, and Daleks. But really, the Chicken Dance!” The Doctor threw up his hands exasperatedly in the air and turned on his heels in a spin, pacing behind Celestia without giving her another glance. “Just when I thought the Daleks couldn’t sicken me any worse, they find another way!”
“What do we do?”
“We?” The Doctor spun around again, a full three-sixty, and approached Celestia with a calculating eye. “You’re to do nothing, my dear, since I am the gentleman caller of this here date, it is my responsibility to handle whatever dangers that might pop up.”
Laser blasts could be heard against the other side of the steel doors guarding the bunker. The Chicken Dance’s volume further increased, shaking the walls of the bunker with each musical tune. Daleks could be heard on the other side spouting their trademark “EXTEEEEEEEEERMINATE!” catchphrases while continuing to fire at the door.
“Wait, so you’re ditching me just like all the other times?” Celestia asked.
The Doctor waved his hand in the air dismissively. “Of course not. I fully intend on saving you and transporting you to a haven while I deal with the mess of a Dalek invasion in Berlin. And why they have acquired the wretched song that is the Chicken Dance a decade before it was released.” He pointed to the TARDIS. “It’s on autopilot, so just avoid pushing any of the buttons that could send you down a hole in time that offers no return. Which is a lot of them, by the way.”
“Wait… so you mean I don’t have to use this thing anymore?” Celestia asked, pointing to her time travel wristwatch.
Looking at it, the Doctor said, “Seeing how you were given one of the cheapest time traveling devices I’ve ever seen—one that seems to be broken and malfunctioning to a high degree, I might add—no, you don’t. The TARDIS shall drop you off to a safe location while I deal with this threat—” the Doctor put a fez atop his head, “—with style.”
Celestia stared at the Doctor’s head apparel. “No. Just… no.”
“But fezzes are cool!”
“No, they aren’t. Literally anything else would be considered cooler than that.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Well, I beg to—” The bunker doors shook, and some of the steel started to dent and even melt in places. Celestia opened up the TARDIS’ doors and quickly jumped inside. “Fashion choices aside, good luck with the alien invasion!”
The Doctor stood with his legs splayed out, his hand reaching into his jacket pocket for his trusty sonic screwdriver. “I don’t need luck. I’m the Doctor. Luck considers me the lucky one.”
The TARDIS disappeared, the bunker doors shaking on their hinges as the Daleks and Chicken Dance grew louder. The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at the doors with a smirk on his face. “No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, and the best of all, nothing to lose! Ah, just the way I like my last stands! So damn dramatic!”
Just as the doors broke down, the Doctor frowned and said, “Actually, now that I think about it, I never did set a destination for the autopilot. I wonder where Celestia will end up at.”
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I vote Jurrassic again. Maybe after the Doctors, she'll try Vandal Savage again.
What is it with the Doctors and sending Celestia to new, weired, and potintually dangerus time periods?
Here we go again...
“The Chicken Dance,” Celestia whispered. Flashbacks of parties at the castle and a certain pink pony reverberated in her mind. “By the gods, it’s the Chicken Dance.”
4975996
They do that all the time.
It's a theme I think at this point.
A theme of distrust and dinosaurs.
4976019
Meh, I think it's funny personally, I was just curius.
Not again!
DO DISCORD!!!!!
The Jurassic Period again, I take it?
Also, fezzes are most definitely hip, hop, and totally in style!
Why'd I just write that?
Betting it's the Jurassic period... again.
He is not immortal, but it MIGHT be amusing to see Ranma Saotome, somehow roped into a date with Celestia. After all his name DOES translate into "Wild Horse"
Jurassic period. Always Jurassic period. Well, I could think of about... 50 worst time eras to be trapped in.
I still want to see Paragon ending Shepard.
Ok got to know any one suggested Zasalmel or Ivy Valentine from Soulcalibur yet?
Yet again, I shall request a immortal. Thanatos, the Hand of Death.
Bet that'll leave her DEAD tired... Huehuehue....
4976167
The age of the bubonic plague.
4976355 Or the 1980s
I vote the Pleistocene era. It's a nice era, provided you like giant arthropods.
I vote for the immortal jellyfish. Unless something kills it, it recycles its cells and lives forever.
Huh. For some reason, I expected River Song to make an appearance, instead of the Daleks.
I'd say Celestia got off easy with this Doctor despite the bad turn out in the end.
4976064
Already done.
Alternate chapter title: "You've got a time machine; I've got a coffee machine... let's date Hitler!"
4975606
What does that even mean?
Excuse me if I'm being a bit behind or stupid, but I've never even heard that before.
..You know what. I bet she's going to be on a beach in Costa Rica. In the 1200s.
For those of you who don't know the evilness that is the evil chicken song, it was written in the 80's, an evil time, by the BBC, an evil organisation, for the express evil purpose of evilly annoying everyone on an evil package holiday, which at the time was practically everyone, evil or not. It goes as follows (evil):
4976268 After this one, there's probably just going to be one more. Then, that's caught up with the current series.
Unless he decides to do the War Doctor after all.
I hate to say it and honestly can't believe it but I've grown tired of this story. I don't think I will be checking up on it anymore but the like an favorite will stay for all the fun times past. Thank you for writing such an entertaining story.
4977004
I stopped reading when the second doctor popped up. Since it'd mean 12 [and now +2 intermissions + so many guest chapters]. chapters. I mean he could've stuck with best doctors [what ever one's those were]. So yeah I just follow a chapter now when the pairing looks half-way interesting. Otherwise I just skip it.
4977004
I hate to agree with you but I fear I feel the same way. Half the fun of this story was guessing which god was up next, the only thing that isnt routine at this point is wether or not its gonna be interrupted by a chapter of deadpool and Co. fucking around. I haven't quite lost interest yet but its safe to say its heading in that direction.
Maybe she'll end up right in the middle of the Time War. That way she'll meet the War Doctor
4976611 Brilliant
4978304 Me too. I've only watched Hellsing Abridged, but from what I know of Alucard it should be pretty funny.
4976645 Replying to a Dark Souls comment with a Dark Souls suggestion and not knowing such an integral part of Dark Souls lore?
Let me educate you, you filthy casul.
If I can suggest...
What about Dusk Shine?
Or King Sombra
Or Discord
Or Tirek
Loki (The nordic god of jokes)
Zeus or Apolo
The Mask
Dracula
Fausticorn
The Genie from Aladdin
Albert Wesker
Goku
Shen-Ron
Artemis, the brother of Solaris
4977249
4977004
4977492
Don't leave yet guys. He only has one or two more Doctors left.
4978356
You seem to be a little confused, my good man. So allow me to educate you:
That's not lore. That's a guy showing of the fact that he found a pretty good character setup. It's also not, in any way, fundamental, essential etc.
And, please, excuse me if I haven't seen one very specific video on Youtube that's only got about 1m veiws. I usually find myself occupied with productive things that are much more worth my time than some git making a ridiculous video which can quite easily escape notice.
Good day, sir.
4978788
But I can't even read the story anymore. It's just so dragged on, and just soul shuddering. I'll skip the next two. But I hope his next attempt after the Doctors is somewhat satisfying. Even though I'll have missed over 14 chapters of events by then.
4978820 You are not very active within the community of Dark Souls, are you?
4978840 Like I said; I often have better things to do.
So, no. I don't much see the point. I enjoy the game so I play it and only occasionally dabble in the community.
4978862 Therein inherently lies the problem. It makes sense to not have heard of the Giantdad overlord without being a more active person within the community of the game.
Video may have ~1 million views or whatever it was, but you can't be on the forums in a straight time for long without seeing it mentioned somehow.
4976599 HUH! AWESOME! Ooooh! Do Tirek!
4979838
G1 Tirek or G4 Tirek, I doubt either woudl go well I mean, one tried to pull a Nightmare Moon and plunge the world into eternal night and mutated several ponies into dragons and enslaved poor Scorpan, and G4 Tirek sent her to Tartarus, stole the magic off every last pony in Equestria, and Discord and was barely stopped by the Rainbow Power. SHould be fun though.
4980928 Your right! Hey, have you done a male changeling yet?
4984062
No sure if Changelings are immortal, long lived. perhaps, not not necessarily immortal.
4978542 A lot of those have been done already.
4985843 If you could tell the chapters will be good, because with the titles I don't know who is in each chapter
This was by far my favorite chapter. When will we be able to see more?
I say, I think you should do something different. Something out of the blue. By chance.... A Fimfiction character?
4985967 ...Then READ them.