Chapter 7: Grey And Going On High
Celestia coughed, covering her mouth with a napkin. “Ugh, do you always have to smoke? We’re on a date, you know?”
Gandalf looked up from his menu, a single puff of smoke from his long stem pipe escaping his lips. “Oh, terribly sorry my dear; how impolite of me.” He removed the pipe from his lips and offered it to Celestia. “Would you like a puff?”
“Um… no thanks,” Celestia declined, returning to her menu with a sigh. Taking a glance to the right, Celestia winced slightly at her surroundings. They were seated in a dingy bar with a dirty table to eat at and even dirtier folks eyeballing them. “Well, I guess choosing a restaurant that freely allows smoking for a date wasn’t the best of ideas.”
Gandalf shrugged in response, drumming his fingers on their table in thought. He eyed their unresponsive waitress with a mildly disapproving glare. “Sometimes what is thought of as best is not really what best entails. What might appear the worst choice of paths turns out to be the better one after we have travelled down it.”
Celestia blinked in surprise, her jaw dropping slightly. “Wow, that is… oddly astute.”
The wizened wizard smiled. He exhaled a puff of smoke, which shaped itself into a graceful flying dragon that spewed smoke from its jaws. “They do not call me Gandalf the Wise for nothing. Even an immortal who has seen ages pass and empires rise and fall can learn something new, or perhaps relearn something they had forgotten. Often it makes for interesting experiences in dull times.”
“Indeed, Mr. Gandalf, indeed.” The two timeless beings shared a relaxed grin with one another. She watched him blow yet more smoke from his pipe, the sight of the vapour twisting itself into rings and other fantastical shapes capturing all of her attention. Humming under her breath in contemplation, Celestia nodded to herself before extending her hoof. “The way you smoke your pipe is quite... interesting, Gandalf. If it is alright with you, I think I’d like to take you up on that offer of a puff. As you said, it seems like a good time to learn something new.”
A smile danced across his face, bringing a twinkle to his eyes. “Trying something new can lead to a wondrous experience,” Gandalf replied, handing the pipe to Celestia. “Along with the fact that this is a very relaxing substance.”
Licking her lips, Celestia closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She held the smoke deep inside her before coughing and hacking while desperately trying to draw in fresh air. “Ugh… *cough*… is this what tobacco tastes like?”
Gandalf arched a brow. “Who said anything about tobacco?”
“Oh, mare, I am sooooooooooo fucked,” Celestia muttered before breaking down in another bout of giggles.
Luna sighed, dragging her sister by the tail in the dead of night along an abandoned city street. “I can’t believe you did drugs, Tia. You, of all the ponies in Equestria, experimenting in illegal narcotics! Do you have any shame? Or, more importantly, did anyone see you while you were ‘tripping out’?”
Celestia shook her head, bursting into more laughter while Luna dragged her body over yet another pothole. “Nah, mare, it was cool. That grey dude… Gandhi… or something. He was hella cool.” Celestia began waving her hooves erratically in the air. “He had some, like, really good stuff, and we were all over that stuff, sis, all over it. Then we made out for a while. Then I tried to call a pizza place for delivery, but you came instead.” Celestia looked over her shoulder at Luna and smirked. “You’re a pizza delivery princess dude pony… dude, now?”
Luna shook her head and groaned. “Sheesh, you sound worse than when you’re drunk. No, you merely misdialed and got my number instead. Now I’m going to get you back to the castle before the Equestrian media has a field day over this.”
“Do we, like, have pizza at the castle?” Celestia asked.
“Yes, Tia, we have pizza.”
“Whoo-hoo, this party don’t stop tonight, we’re gonna rock it out!” Celestia cheered, pumping her hooves in the air. “Pizza, princess, pony, parties, and puppies! We gotta get some puppies, Lulu! That’d be rad, right?”
Luna ignored Celestia’s question as she stepped over another pothole; trying, and failing, to convince herself that she wasn’t deliberately aiming for them as Celestia’s head thumped into it. “Okay, you’re never going to get high again, and next time, let me choose the date.” Luna’s smile took a turn for the devious. “I already have the perfect candidate in mind.”
Celestia waved a single hoof in the air. “Is it a pizza pony?”
“No, why would—never mind,” Luna sighed.
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All of the yes in my pitifully mortal body.
Silly. Just silly. Nothing else needs to be said.
This....This made me laugh harder than I have in a week. I think I coughed up a lung.
Ok, this was most amusing.
depends on the drug and who gave it to you, that dude in the van; totally legit, hes got a degree and everything.
Bravo
this gave me the giggles.
A wise man, indeed. *nods sagely*
Good gods, that was hilarious!
… I always knew that Gandalf couldn't be so wise just from being old… being trippy can give you an extrasensory view of things… at least, that's what I've read about in books… Seriously, that's what I've read. I do not do drugs, and if anyone here insinuates that I do, than yer ass is grass, and I'm yer new lawnmower.
Anyways, here's some more recommendations:
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130529214237/souleater/images/thumb/9/9c/Free.png/300px-Free.png
Free, the immortal magical werewolf (Soul Eater)
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111231185619/trigun/images/thumb/2/2b/Vash1.jpg/250px-Vash1.jpg
Vash the Stampede, the pacifistic sharpshooter (Trigun)
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090422111322/bleach/en/images/thumb/0/04/Barragan_Luisenbarn.jpg/250px-Barragan_Luisenbarn.jpg
Barragan Louisenbairn, the egotistical time-warping Espada (Bleach)
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/85/Dormammu.jpg
Dormammu, the god-like entity in a suit of tin (Marvel)
Well, that's all for now!
Okay, High!Celestia needs to pop up more often in the future.
So funny!!
Can I recommend Cayden Cailean, the accidental god. He became a god on a bar bet.
You'd think Celestia would have her second breakfast (Or second dinner; time of day and whatnot) when she puffed from Gandalf's pipe
As for the moral of the chapter, one step ahead of you
4164781 Well, he did come back in Highlander 2 (we shalt not speak the name of evil, except this once) and he sorta was in the cartoon (Not evil, but still terrible). So if he can come back whenever he wants too, I'm sure he can make reservations.
I've always asked myself, "What's the worst Highlander mov- The Source."
Grim Reaper from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
Dammit, Gandhi!
That was hilarious, I want to see more high Celestia.
4165092
Gonna have to agree with this one.
Never do drug, or you'll become shortskirtsandexplosions.
KENNY FROM SOUTHPARK! He can't die so I think he is a viable choice.
Lmafo omfg
4165189 omg yyyeeeesssss but not just Kenny......princess Kenny lmafo
I'm obligated by contract to suggest at least one character per chapter; so please keep that in mind you
holy spongeSSaE.ifondos.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Majin-boo.jpg
And then Boo turns all of Celestia's problems into cake, and then they share it.
4164983 4164961>>4165183
Drugs are for hippies.
~Leonzilla
We need Kenny from south park like right now!
4165225 Not just Princess Kenny...Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny!
Drugs're bad, m'kay?
New reader here, great stuff!
My suggestions: Thor, Loki, Q, Dracula
4165247
or people that wanna get better, tomato tomatoe
Well, that explains a lot of the things he said and how he said them...
4165256 fuck yyyeeessss
4165247 Oh jeez!
That's brilliant!
IDEA!
Celestia should date Saruman, and then Gandalf walks in while they're in the middle of a makeout session, and- well, you get the idea.
(Please ignore my brain. It's insane. But seriously. Do it.)
Come on guys, we need morgan freeman. Thumbs up or reply if your with me.
Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate? Because there is no such thing as immortality. Come on, he's such a dick, even if you don't use the TFS Abridged...
Immortals from other dimensions.... How about Birusu(Bills) from the new DBZ movie? After all, how could things get any worse than a god of destruction?
So when are you going to have her date Nicholas Cage?
There's one particular immortal that I'd really like to see, but he's from such an obscure title that I doubt very many people, if any, will actually know who he is.
Does anyone besides me know who Kaim is from the game Lost Odyssey?
i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk207/Meicyn/Kaim0.jpg
That 'tobacco' might be why he took so damn long in the series
4165370 If they do Alucard it has to be the abridged version. That would be so funny.
...
Even the drugs are tripping balls
Lord of the Rings headcanon confirmed.
4165368 I agree with this for two reasons
1.Doctor Who isn't immortal
2.Morgan Freeman is god in Bruce Almighty so it does count.
4165275 Haha, hell yes, I so support a date with Prince Artemis!
Is it the god emperor, Luna?
Why not Chuck Norris?
Captain Jack Harkness.
Yay! An update that wasn't an April fools joke! I think we're in tears right now...
Keep going! ;)