//------------------------------// // Chapter 43: Tenth Place Isn't So Bad // Story: Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website // by RainbowBob //------------------------------// Overall, Celestia's mood was one of conflicting interests coupled with confusion on a scale never before known to her. Actually, that’s what she used to have thought. Nowadays, however, the confusion was just another thought in the background of her mind, and the conflicting interests part came from the fact she wanted someone to be with for happily ever after, but all the trouble to get that special someone was starting to make a point of being not worth it. Take her current situation, for example. She was stuck running away from horrible green monsters while her date was right at her side, surprisingly quick on his feet. This was also another pivotal moment of hindsight where she would realize that yes, she had wings, and yes, she could teleport, and yes, she did neither because at this point running away from the numerous horrendous monsters or aliens she dealt with on her dates was the only way she kept her rump from getting too plump. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” the Tenth Doctor told her, nearly tripping as he picked up the pace. Past the wheezing, panting, and sweat, this Doctor was quite the handsome fellow, Celestia had to admit. He had a certain youthful charm with a foxy figure that was both alluring and slim. He had dark eyes and dark brown hair that could almost be described as ginger (though he insisted profusely several times when she pointed this out that it definitely wasn’t). He had on a light brown overcoat and a four-button up suit of a dark brown color with blue pinstripes, and what had once been a tie was quickly ripped off earlier on by one of the green monster aliens. And to wrap it up, his athletic sports shoes—Converse All-Stars as they’re called on Earth—was probably the reason he hadn’t been torn to shreds by the aliens already. It was here that Celestia also realized that even in times of great distress she always noticed what her dates were wearing and what they looked like. Especially the Tenth Doctor. Probably so that she could remember it later. Remember it with a nice bottle of wine and— One of the aliens lunged at her, nearly grabbing her back hoof. Celestia narrowly avoided this by briefly taking flight before continuing her trot. “Don’t let them touch you!” the Tenth Doctor said. “Nasty business with these hooligans and touching.” Celestia glanced back. The aliens were gaining, quicker on their feet than even the Doctor. They had yellowish-green skin, purple warts covering their body, three-digit hands and feet ending in wickedly-sharp claws, pointed ears and folded skin on their cheeks. All in all, Celestia thought they looked similar to those ‘goblin’ creatures Luna has her do battle with in her extremely nerdy DnD games. “What are they?” “They’re Abzorbalovians. Probably rebels. Probably still peeved off at me for whatever reason. Oh yes!” the Doctor said in an exuberant fashion, snapping his fingers. “Well… they’re most likely still sore about me being involved with the death of that one Abzorbalovian fellow by the name of Abzorbaloff. Which, if you think about it, is a really unoriginal name for someone from that species You don’t see many Earthlings called humanloffs of humanlings, although I suppose that could be more of a—” “Do you mind skipping the pointless rambling and get to the point on saving us?” Celestia asked, just barely ducking in time to miss a swipe from one of the Abzorbalovian’s claws. They were in a wide open space now, in the middle of a grey and dreary parking lot. In the distance a ferris wheel, a roller-coaster, and several other amusement park rides could be seen. They were actually quite fun to ride on, before those strange green monster men started to pop up and attempt to kill the pair. On second thought, a date at an amusement park should have clued Celestia in on the date going horribly wrong. Nothing could be that normal and end well. And on the other hand there was the fact that the stranger the settings of the date, the worst it turned out. So no matter how normal or strange a location or activity her date will be, it’ll still end bad. Celestia was beginning to sense a pattern here… “I was just getting to that. You see, when I heard there was a Disneyland here on Clom, I just knew it’d be the perfect location for a date. I mean, who wouldn’t like an amusement park on another planet?” Celestia stared at the Doctor with a deadpan look. “Well… anyway, now that these guys turned up out of the blue, looks like we’ll have to find some blue ourselves and use the TARDIS to escape.” Celestia scanned her surroundings, noticing only empty parking lot a whole heaping of dangerous, possibly deadly to the touch Abzorbalovians. “Do you remember where you parked it?” “Of course I do!” “Are you sure?” Celestia asked. “I’m the Doctor. I’m always right.” “Then where is it?” The Tenth Doctor stopped in his tracks, hands on his sides as he hummed under his breath, the alien menace hot on his trail. “Let’s see… it could be in Section A. Or was that C? Perhaps it was E, actually, now that I think about it. And looks like we’re in… K. Hmmm, so what direction would the previous Section letter be, I wonder?” “Oh, for crying out loud!” A magical force-field appeared around the pair, propelling the Abzorbalovians out from the duo’s presence with a massive recoil of force whenever they approached. However, this didn’t stop the majority from running up, flinging themselves at the shield, being thrown back, and then repeating the process. Cracks started to appear and parts of the shield began to flake off with each successful strike. Celestia lifted up her hoof, showing the Doctor her time traveling device strapped to her wrist. “We don’t have time to go on some asinine quest to find the TARDIS in a Disneyland parking lot. Can you just set this thing to take us to a time or location that won’t lead us to our doom?” The Doctor grinned, removing a phallic-shaped object from his coat pocket. “With my trusty sonic screwdriver, of course I can!” Celestia stared at the screwdriver with an open mouth. “Sonic… screwdriver?” The Doctor arched a brow. “Uh… yes. Sonic screwdriver. It’s my trusty tool.” “I’ve never seen it before.” “Well, my earlier incarnations weren’t too particularly attached to it. Especially the Third Doctor…” The Doctor frowned. “He never did like playing with toys.” Celestia closed her eyes and sighed. “Okay, since we’re just beating around the bush, I’ll ask. Is that a dildo?” The Doctor’s jaw dropped. “What?” “You call it a sonic screwdriver. So in all actuality, I should have asked if it was a vibrator.” “What?” “Oh, come on!” Celestia shouted. “You even called it your ‘trusty tool’ and a ‘toy’! What was I supposed to think?” The Doctor opened his mouth, then closed it, ending up staring into space for several seconds of silence. “Uh… the Abzorbalizzle-thingies are about to break through my shield.” The Doctor blinked. “Oh yeah, right. Better configure the device correctly.” As the Doctor fiddled with Celestia time travel wristwatch, she stared at the never ending tide of Abzorbalovians flinging their body at her shield. For some reason she felt a weird sense of déjà vu. “Okay, done!” the Doctor said. “Press the button and we’re saved!” “Finally!” Celestia said, lifting her hoof up. “Allons-y!” the Doctor yelled, the two disappearing in a flash of light. Celestia opened her eyes, the grey of the parking lot still in her vision. “Wait a second… we didn’t travel through time!” “Oh, but we did! Look!” The Doctor pointed to a far away object, which just so happened to be the TARDIS. “We successfully time traveled thirty minutes into the past. And I did park in Section A! My past version just so happened to steal it from its spot, which means I was right! Brilliant!” “Wait a second… I can travel back thirty minutes into the past now?” Celestia asked, not letting the Doctor answer. “Great! Now I can go back another thirty minutes and convince my past self from ever going on a date in this deathtrap in the first place!” “Uh, actually, that wouldn’t be wise, especially since—” The Doctor turned around, noticing Celestia’s presence wasn’t next to him anymore. She has vanished. “—I only set the thirty minute time travel as a one-time thing.” The Doctor stared at the empty spot Celestia once stood in, then shrugged, quickly jogging back to the TARDIS. “Ah, I’m sure she’ll be fine. I mean, how bad could the late Jurassic Period possibly be?”