• Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Monday

MrNumbers


Stories about: Feelings too complicated to describe, ponies

T

[Featured on EQD 21/4/2014] [Now on TVTropes]

When Luna gifts Twilight the town of Ponyville and its surrounding countryside as her demesne she's initially confused. Then, after double checking her dictionary, more than a little concerned.

All her friends are, legally, her possessions. The town that took her in is her plaything, if she so wishes. She has been given responsibility.

Can Twilight's vision for a modern renaissance outrun the harsh realities of the shadowy figures pulling strings behind the scenes, nobles jockeying for her attention, and an irritatingly metaphorical love triangle?

Special thanks to the insatiable Blue_Paladin42, the incorrigible Maskedferret, the intuitive Southpaw and the indestructible newbiedoodle for all their hard work, past, present and future.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 1685 )

All this does is make me wonder why nobody's written a Crusader Kings 2/ponies crossover yet.

Oh lord, this was a riot to read.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Though it seems parts were eaten in some places. Like:

“Because, and I already checked, I cannot. I can pass it on to my heir, which I don’t have, or I could sell

tradition? That was simply not done.

And some places where the text is centered...

Anyway. Will there be more? :D

3903107
:rainbowderp:
Oh lord... "The changelings are invading!" and you and your fellow Equestrian solar worshippers must repel them...

3903112

Thank you for spotting that, sometimes it's hard to pick up the GDocs errors. The import goes wrong in ways that can be... subtle.

3903119
Check the previous chapters too. I think I saw some others there, but I can't remember where. :pinkiesad2:

When I filled out all the relevant documentation and viscera

Viscera? Not sure whether that's a typo, or whether the paperwork is significantly more interesting than you'd expect. :twilightoops:

3903263

It's an expression that must not transcend Australia, then. I use it in the sense of bric-a-brac. I will... change it for nationality reasons, then, it seems, because nopony likes their paperwork to bleed.

That's one whole new meaning to 'papercut'.

I feel a warm, glowing sense of pride. "I've trained you well, number one assistant. Either that or we have a Pavlovian fear response to really nice days in Ponyville. On a scale of one to bliss how do you feel?"
"Deep satisfaction with a lingering sense of eager perkiness."

Time To Favorite: 535 Words

So far, that's a 2014 record. :twilightsmile:

“Oh of course, you’re never not serious are you.” Eugh. Double negative. I shudder from the sentence construction.

It's a perfectly cromulent construction in this context, Twilight! The additional negative adds semantic value! :twilightangry2:

“Because, and I already checked, I cannot. I can pass it on to my heir, which I don’t have, or I could sell Ponyville, which I refuse. There are laws and traditions.”

Hmm, I wonder if she could sell it to, say, some kind of municipal council, composed of trusted ponies and chaired by the Mayor... :trixieshiftright:

“No, I don’t.” I reassure her. “Even if your office has, unfortunately, for the time being, become invalidated and rendered moot I-” I cut myself off, stomp down on that train of thought and set fire to it. “-Will still need your assistance in making sure the transition goes as smoothly as possible. You know more about running this town than anyone, and I am woefully
suck just for being in proximity to its target, I can barely imagine being the- well, no, I can easily imagine, and it’s very unpleasant.

Something done happened there. Words were lost in the line of duty, and it was tragic for all involved.

But that didn't stop me from enjoying the HECK out of this story. Can't wait to see more!

3903271
It's actually a perfectly understandable expression in context.

3903411
I wonder if she could legally sell the ponies in question to themselves, which would quickly address the most egregious problem.

This is hilarious. This is one of the most amusing stories I've read on this site. Your first few paragraphs felt a little clunky, but I saw no problems after that.

the ringing in my ears hangs up

I love expressions like this.

This was quite amusing. Not the story I would have written, but it'd be awfully boring for me if it was, and it does leave me some space to write that sequel one of these years, so that's all to the good. :twilightsmile:

Shipping? Please, no, no. Don't make me hurt me. :rainbowwild:

Is this what I think it is?:trixieshiftright:
'Reads story'
This is in fact what I think it is. HIT THAT FAVE BUTTON SO HARD IT BREAKS!:pinkiehappy:

3903477

Fixed, as were some others. It's a shame, it cut off some of my favourite snippets.

The town hall is a, big, conical building with a cheery, beautiful, outer shell to mask the blatant bureaucracy contained within. Actually, if one were to describe it in any definite manner, the phrase “if a park gazebo and a palace minaret had some manner of child together” came most readily to mind. It was also filled to capacity, with ponies spilling out onto the street.

One might say that the supply could not meet the demand, but that would be inaccurate, since there was hardly ever a demand for bureaucracy, but needs must.

For example...

3903733

Well, now frankly I'm curious: What did you think it was?

I loved this chapter! I was giggling almost the entire time I read it.

3903351

I'm going to be honest, this is my favourite comment thus far.

This is the second most disturbing premise I've seen for a fic that wasn't tagged Dark or rated Mature. After I read the fic with the most disturbing premise associated with those qualifiers, I started writing an entire book to counter and reverse all the creepy stuff in it and get it out of my head. Will my brain forgive me if I read this?

My friends have their destinies scrambled and I ascend mortality itself.

I think this should be 'transcend'.

I like this story very much and I'm looking forward to more.

3903815

This is my happy place.

Come. Bask in the happy place with me.

3903852

No, ascend, that's what the wings are for, obviously!

3903786
An expanding upon of the brief sequel to "The Princess of Books" that you posted in the comments to said story with the necessary adjustments to make it not a sequel to said story.
Also absolutely amazing and hilarious.

Other things:
It is scary how close your Discord fits my head cannon version of him in this chapter.
Its fun being in Twilight's head, and I'm not normally one for first person pov stories.

Final Thoughts
I have waited long(compared to the amount of time I have been a member of the fandom) for a story that deals with Twilight becoming supreme ruler of Ponyville. Finally it has come and from the first three chapters it looks to be as glorious as I had always imagined it might be.

3903263 Griffon contract. Written on blood on fresh pony hide. :fluttershbad:

:trollestia:

3903915

So I guess it's safe to assume you're not the motherfucker chap who downvoted me? Hrrrmm... I don't know, you don't seem nearly positive enough.

Seriously, though, thank you very much for your kind words, and I hope I keep a consistent level of quality that you can enjoy.

Also, to the downvoters among you: I apologize for my crude joke, and I absolutely respect your opinion, even if it's absurdly wrong and you have no taste.

This looks pretty good, though there are parts where the grammar could use some polishing.

3903351
Waitwaitwait. Wait. You stopped reading before the chapter was over, solely so you could scroll back up and click that star? Wtf is wrong with you? :rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

3903964

Well, it's not like you've written a panoply of stories I've read since the very start, or are an author I have an incalculable respect for, Mr-

Kwakerjak?

Oh, dear.

Yeah, grammar is definitely my weakest point, and I don't say that as an excuse in the slightest, I'm just not entirely certain what rules and conventions I'm breaking. If I did, you see, i wouldn't be breaking them. I'm by no means asking you to go out of your way to provide examples, I merely feel that you're owed an explanation if it, inevitably, became detrimental to your enjoyment of the story.

Yep. Fave. And the Doctor title is not goofy at all, she can easily be Princess Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of the Element of Magic, Defender of the Realm, Doctor of Friendship Studies, et al... just the same as Celestia and Luna certainly have a dozen or two titles among themselves.

I was super pissed that you had put out three chapters of a thing without updating Sonnets for a while. Then I remembered that epilogue thingie.

Then I read it.

The lynching has been cancelled :trollestia:

3903965 You don't have to stop reading, merely open a new tab!

This story is awesomely funny. Fricking awesome. With fricking lasers on it's head.

They’re hesitant, to say the least, eyeing me in much the same way I watched that silver fulminate sand timer. You just know it’s about to go very, very badly for you, yes, and attempting to do anything about it would just speed up the inevitable, so all you can do is just sit there and admire and watch and hope that the whole thing doesn’t blow up as badly as you fear.

Every single time I think the humor in this story can't possibly get any better, I read a paragraph like this and revise my opinion further upward.

I really hope Spike gets an awesome title, like Knight Dragon to her Highness *insert Twilight's really long title here*

Poor guy never gets anything good in stories where Twilight gets cool stuff(ie titles, magic artifacts, her own royal guard, an entire town completely subject to her every whim, etc.)

Final note: Please tell me this is gonna be Twilestia? 2ND BEST SHIP IN THE FLEET

Soon this story will be assailed by the 'anarchy' bronies, who will demand that Twilight, Celestia, and Luna be brutally murdered for being horrid tyrants... :twilightoops:

I'm only partially joking... :facehoof:

Anyway, as for the story itself, it's off to quite a good start. I can't help but think Luna might be up to something which, if not nefarious, is at least some form of scheme. She may be naive of modern society to some extent, but she's not stupid enough not to realize this will cause problems for Twilight.

Conspiracies... conspiracies everywhere! *puts on double-sized foil hat* :pinkiecrazy:

3904267

Truth be told, Luna is honestly just from a time when, yes, this was how you rewarded ponies who served loyally. It was how knights (which you may notice is what I made Rarity's title, because it was simply too beautiful not to make her an Equus) collected tax monies in order to maintain their armour, train their heirs and all that wonderful, expensive military stuff.

A conspiracy would be excellent for a much darker fic, but you're being what TV Tropes would call "Wrong Genre Savvy".

3904264

What, was Great Spike Shark not good enough for you? Geeze, has to be all official-like, huh? Well, then, we'll have to see what we can do. Spike needs more love.

Oh! Err, no, no Twilestia I'm afraid, but something much more controversial...

Original Characters.

Yeah, just hit "Unfave" and downvote right now, shows over, I'm obviously insane and about to wreck it.

3904242

They say I was born for comedy, everything about me is funny.

I've got a funny voice, a funny face, a funny smell-

Though if someone would mail me a silver fulminate hourglass... on second thoughts, don't.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for running with this idea. When I read your comment I laughed my ass off, and now I get to read a whole story for it. Even if it's not a true sequel to princess of books I'm still laughing and passing this on to friends.:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

3904302

Oh! Err, no, no Twilestia I'm afraid, but something much more controversial...

fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/147789.png?1385702610
You tread dangerous ground here, my friend

3904302 You're trying to divert attention from THE TRUTH!!

You're working with Luna, aka Nightmare Moon, to bring about Eternal Night!

CONSPIRACYYYYYYYYY!!! *runs around screaming*

(Alondro is not Wrong Genre Saavy, he's just off his gourd.) :pinkiecrazy:

3903815

This is the second most disturbing premise I've seen for a fic that wasn't tagged Dark or rated Mature. After I read the fic with the most disturbing premise associated with those qualifiers, I started writing an entire book to counter and reverse all the creepy stuff in it and get it out of my head. Will my brain forgive me if I read this?

Dare I ask after the most disturbing premise you've seen for a fic with those qualifiers?

3904264

I really hope Spike gets an awesome title, like Knight Dragon to her Highness *insert Twilight's really long title here*

Consigliere.

Or, more seriously: seneschal would be the most obvious and appropriate title.

3904351

I'm going to steal this and delete your comment so that you have no proof I ever did it. That's perfect and awfully similar to what I was planning.

"You summoned me, Princesses? What is it this time? Fell beasts from beyond the stars? Bipedal monsters wielding steel wands that spit flame and lead? Somepony breaching the royal cake vaults?"

The red is what earned you a like from me.

3904302

Oh! Err, no, no Twilestia I'm afraid

Fair enough, but I do hope something comes of Celestia's feelings in the first chapter (secondhoof via Luna), if only a conversation at some point acknowledging it as something other than a one-off bit of forgotten humor. Doesn't have to turn into a romance, but a conversation would be nice.

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