• Member Since 25th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen May 22nd

Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch

Hi! We're Lapis-Lazuli and Inky Jay! We write fanfictions, for great justice.



Twilight Sparkle is tired of this nonsense.

Every day, a slew of articles all focused on the minute details of her life invade her beloved newspapers. "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches." "Twilight Sparkle Hates Tea." "Twilight Sparkle Uses a Microwave." "Twilight Sparkle Makes Toast." All of it clogging up her precious sources of information from cities across Equestria.

But no more. The time has come to put an end to it, once and for all.

Written with thanks to Marceline from the #FimFiction IRC and for no good reason other than it sounded funny in my head.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 270 )

But those are some of my favorite tabloids stories. Would you really want to take those away from me Twilight?:rainbowkiss:

That was a fun short read. :pinkiesmile:

Fun, feels like it needs one more scene at the end to show that it worked.

:rainbowlaugh:I want to see the presses reaction now:rainbowlaugh:

rofl twi way to fight the press :twilightsmile:

Quoth Firefly

I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me!

Still flying.

Oh, and, ow, my sides...:rainbowlaugh:

I would have sought a different method of confusion; the Mirror Pool. When Twilight is reported as being in a dozen places at once, then no report could be trusted.

I believe I saw a Firefly reference...

Grr, why is there a Complete tag on this? :twilightangry2:

Seriously, I wanna see what beautiful madness you can make out of this.

Sequel.... Now....

"Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches."


Are the rest if them actual stories too? Because if they are, I don't remember.

Also, it should be noted that only one out of the four suggested headlines actually have an article. :derpytongue2:

No reaction, and complete tag?:twilightangry2:

omg this was awesomely funny.
we need moar!

This is a good one!
MORE COFFEE!!:pinkiecrazy:

Am I the only who's not seeing any genre tags?

4718625 Twilight has seen the chaos the Mirror Pool can cause. She's not going to use it lightly. (Or at all, most likely.)



You can’t take the sky from me

The Greatest show ever. So of course, cancelled.

Heee, that was great. :twilightsmile: I agree with the others. MOAR! :flutterrage:

We need to see the press' reaction. :pinkiecrazy:

The Daily Mail would probably run this as a separate feature, and do so for months on end on the basis that Twilight's bluffing. Equestria clearly has the softer kind of hard reporter.

Thank you so much. See, I normally do runs with my dad in the morning. After that, it takes a LONG time to cool down. This story made the perfect way to pass that time. Thank you so much for it. Honestly. It was well written, it had the characters remaining as how the show sets them (mostly), and it captured the essence of the show itself, with a quaint little moral; 'leave the nigh-immortal demigod rulers alone'.

See ya next time ya hit the featured box, my boy! *flies away on a Magikarp* BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Brilliant. :pinkiecrazy:
Absolutely brilliant. :rainbowlaugh:
Sweetie Bell should get money for this. So much money. All of the money. :flutterrage:

Have my applause. HAVE ALL OF IT!

This is certainly an amusing story, but it feel incomplete. :fluttercry: I would really like to see the press's responce.

The author used confusion... IT WAS VERY EFFECTIVE!

Um, just a few small points.
The Foal Free Press wasn't shut down, they just changed management.
Smarty Pants is female, or as female as a toy can be anyway.
Why, oh god why, did you have to mention those damn seaponies! They're so annoying!
I'm not quite sure what Twilight hoped to achieve with this. If I were in the press I'd just make an article titled "Princess Twilight Sparkle gives nonsensical interview in local newspaper" or something like that.

I want to see how this ends. :rainbowlaugh:


Agreed. I believe a sequel or second chapter is in order!

I honestly thought of this after reading the title:

*Runs for this hills*

hold on

Even Mr. Smarty Pants was present in the front row, wearing the press badge for The Equestrian Times

"She was mine when I was your age, and now I want to give her to you!"
"Uh, she's... great..."
"I really like her mane!"

Please post a second chapter with the fall out from all this! I have to see where to his goes!


Good for you, Twi.

If you can't block them, give them white noise. Same for online advertisers and data collection.

Like play this into the xbox kinect.

Ah, yes, I remember now. Such classics.


"complete?" BOOOOOOOOOOO!

You can't just end it like that!


Tell you guys what. If this story clears 250 upvotes, I'll give it a second part.

Should be fairly easy when it's half the way there and in the featured box. You might as well start writing now.

4721315 Pshhhh, Fimfiction is magical. :trollestia:

One problem, verb is a noun.

Headline of the Day:

A Ponyville citizen has an interview about the mental instability of Princess Sparkle. This is what she had to say.
"Um...I've known Twilight for a long time, and she's always seemed normal to me! I just don't know what went wrong!"
See Politics C for more...

See this is the kind of stuff I would want in the middle of another story, rather than as its own thing. But it was pretty good. And a smile deserves a thumbs up.

I was rather disappointed by the interview. When Twilight said she wanted to "make the entire thing as utterly nonsensical as possible," I was expecting it to be something you'd expect to see from Monty Python or Alice in Wonderland. Instead, while the questions were mostly trivial things that one wouldn't normally ask a princess, most of them had fairly serious answers. And some of them would probably give the press exactly what they want. I can easily see articles after this about Twilight's relationships with Spike and Celestia.


197 as of now. You done put a bomb in front of the fans and handed them a lit torch to juggle whilst wearing oversized mittens.

:derpyderp2: imminent.

ahahahaha! This is grand! The title really is grabbing, it got featured. :pinkiehappy: I demand more!

Their true purpose is sinister.

No, no - that's aglets. :ajsmug:

4721595 I've been waiting all day for someone to get that gag. :pinkiehappy:

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