//------------------------------// // Chapter 56: Decimation // Story: Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website // by RainbowBob //------------------------------// “It’s always vampires, isn’t it?” Celestia sighed, tightening the drawstring on her crossbow until the bolt was fitted to launch. “Whenever ungodly horrors happen while at night, it always has to be vampires. Jeez, this is so much of a cliche it hurts.” Celestia stared at the garlic laced tip of the bolt and smiled. “Well, not as much as this will, anyway.” Celestia kicked her door open and pointed her crossbow down both ends of the hallway, poking her head out afterward to make sure the place was clear. Satisfied, she pointed the crossbow at the ceiling and said, “Okay, get down from there. I’ve seen too many movies to fall for that.” From the dwelling of the shadows on the ceiling fell a figure hidden in black. It landed directly before Celestia, then approached her closer in a hunched over position. “Whoa, hold it.” Celestia pointed the crossbow at where she was sure the creature’s heart was located. Or its liver. Either one would work. “Stop that clinging shadows trick and let me get a good look at you.” The figure sighed, but finally obliged. The darkness that used to hide the figure now dispelled, revealing the hunched-over stranger. Celestia almost wished it hadn’t. It was a creature unlike Celestia had ever seen before, and now wishes she never had to see for the rest of her immortal life. He was… simply appalling. His skin was a deathly pale color, with a tinge of grey that made it appear ashy. All of his hair had moved to his eyebrows, leaving his skull a perfectly white dome. His nose was so beaky it would make a hawk blush in envy, and his buck-tooth fangs could make a beaver swoon just at the sight. To complete the signature creep look was a black button-down coat and claws that looked as if they hadn’t been cleaned for centuries. He smiled, and Celestia nearly vomited. “Hello there, my dear,” he said, voice similar to a gust of air breezing into a cold, abandoned tomb. “I’ve been waiting for you.” Celestia closed her eyes and held her breath, already telling that this guy smelled like the inside of a used casket. “Oh, how pleasant.” “When I heard you’re looking for a suitor, I arrived as soon as I could.” He bowed to her, his beaky nose actually touching the floor. “I… am Count Orlok.” “And I’m that one mare who has some important business to attend to, so, if you wouldn’t mind…” Celestia jerked her chin towards the other end of the hall opposite the two. Count Orlok chuckled, though it sounded more like a wheeze from and old, brittle machine halfway to the scrapyard. “Oh, I do, my dear. For you see, I have important business to attend to... as well.” Count Orlok licked his lips. “I desire… a bride!” “Why do you always add dramatic emphasis to everything you talk about?” Count Orlok held his hand before his face, his fangs gleaming for some odd reason without any reflective light available. “For… dramatic emphasis!” Celestia’s expression turned deadpan quicker than her sudden desire for a strong drink. “Yeeeeeeah, I know where this is headed already.” Celestia pulled the trigger of her crossbow, piercing Count Orlok where Celestia was pretty sure his heart was located at. Count Orlok looked down at his pierced heart (or liver) and laughed. “You think that by stabbing me in the heart I’ll die? You fool! Nothing can destroy my fearsome might!” Just as Count Orlok finished his sentence, a blade penetrated his skull from the back right out of his domed head. “Oh really? Then what about this?” a seductive voice asked, right before Count Orlok’s head was cleaved right down the middle. This his body was chopped into individual slices, with all there being left was his legs. These were kicked away by the mysterious figure that had helped Celestia. She stared disappointingly at the twin blades mounted on bracers to her arms, both of which were covered in dust. “Shame the old man didn’t have more blood in his system before dying off.” She blew off some of the dust, glancing at Celestia with a small smile and wink. “Sure was easy to kill, though.” Celestia’s jaw nearly hit the floor at what she was seeing. Her savior was undeniably, impeccably, without a doubt one of the hottest humans she had ever seen. Actually, it was much more likelier she was a vampire. The fangs probably tipped her off. She had a shapely, curved figure that drew the eyes to her ample assets both in the back and the front, with skin as white as snow and looking just as fun to jump into. She was dressed in what could only be described as functional badass lingerie with red and black the main color pallet, although none of the red could compare to her hair. It was as if she dipped it in blood every night. “Name’s Rayne,” she said, voice as cold as a blizzard yet as enticing as a warm fire, “and you must be Celestia.” “Uhhhhhh.” “I heard about the recent vampire problem that was going to meet at your doorstep. Doesn’t take much for all these bloodsuckers to get riled up. When I got wind I thought I’d drop on by, kill as many as these creeps as I could before the party was over. Part of my job, but also…” Rayne smirked, her fangs barely seen on her blood-red lips. “To have a little fun as well.” Celestia still hadn’t picked up her jaw from the floor. Rayne arched a brow. “Um… hey, you okay? Do you need my help or—” “Do you want to go out with me?” Celestia blurted out, before quickly covering her mouth with a hoof and turning a darker shade of red than Rayne’s hair. Rayne chuckled, her voice sounding like water splashing in a stream during the winter. “Well, you’re certainly one to go for the important questions, aren’t you?” Rayne pursed her lips and drummed a finger against her chin, undaunted by the enormous blade inches from her head. “Actually, I’ll cut you a deal. You help me with the vampire slaying, and we’ll grab a cup of coffee after this. Deal?” “DEAL!”