//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Date Numero Uno // Story: Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website // by RainbowBob //------------------------------// “I can’t believe I agreed to do this.” Celestia sighed, staring dejectedly at the ground beneath her hooves. “Oh, come on, Tia. It won’t be so bad,” Luna attempted to assure her older sister with a playful nudge on the shoulder. “Besides, it’s just a first date. No big deal.” “It is a big deal if my first date is with him, of all  ponies,” Celestia said through gritted teeth, glaring through the windows of the restaurant to get a look at her potential suitor. “Why did we choose him?” “Because he was the first in the inbox. Plus, he’s cute.” “And extremely evil,” Celestia reminded her. Luna shrugged. “It said on his profile page that he’s reformed. If it can happen with Discord, it could happen with anypony.” “Or, this could be a plot of his to ambush me and take over all of Equestria.” Luna rolled her eyes. “I think if he had some insidious plot to take over Equestria, it probably wouldn’t involve him asking you out to dinner. What, is he going to poison your food or something?” “That’s always a possibility,” Celestia mused. “And you call me childish,” Luna said, shaking her head. “Come on, you have the stuff to strut proudly in. Now, there’s an eager date inside that isn’t too bad looking. My advice is just go with it.” Looking back to her sister, Celestia nodded, a small smile appearing on her face. “Thanks. That really helps.” She gave Luna a quick hug. “I guess I’m just getting first-date jitters is all.” Luna grinned broadly. “Then get in there and show this guy how the Sun Princess of Equestria rolls!” With a firm spank on Celestia’s ass, Luna shoved her sister through the doors of the restaurant. Celestia gave out a small eep and fell on the floor inside in a very undignified manner. Dusting off her hooves, Luna turned around and made her way back to the castle. “Finally, time to throw that Street Fighter tournament I’ve been dying to try out.” Picking herself up, Celestia blushed and dusted off her dress, noticing the stares she was getting from the other patrons, along with some barely-suppressed snickering. Standing there awkwardly, she searched desperately for the table where her date was waiting. Finally spotting the table, she gulped and made her way there. Sitting down at the table, she brushed a lock of her mane out of her face and said, “Greetings. So sorry I was late; you know how royal duties can get you held up.” “Why, indeed I do,” Sombra said, a sharp toothed smile on his chiseled face. He was dressed as impeccably as ever, his tuxedo ironed so not a single wrinkle was visible, along with a white pressed dress shirt and red rose in his coat front pocket. His mane was brushed and styled to perfection, putting what most mares had to shame with its glossy waviness. “But it is a pleasure to meet with you once again, Celestia.” “Oh, I’m sure it is,” Celestia said, tilting her head at her date. “It has been… what? Over a thousand years since we last met?” “A thousand and twenty four years, but hey, who’s counting?” Sombra laughed, his blood red eyes showing off a glint of cheerful mirth. “Though I don’t think I left a good impression on you last time, did I?” “Ruling an entire kingdom as a ruthless tyrant usually does that,” Celestia replied back. “Hey now, ex-ruthless tyrant.” Sombra protested. “I gave up the evil king of shadows game long ago,” he assured her, trying to put her at ease with a devilishly handsome smile. “Oh really?” Celestia asked, glancing at him from the corner of her eye as she took a sip from the glass of water. “And what game are you playing now then, if you don’t mind me asking?” “Not at all, my dear,” Sombra said, removing a business card from his pocket and levitating it towards her with his magic. “I am now a salestallion for timeshares.” Glancing at the card, she arched an eyebrow when she noticed that he did indeed sell timeshares. “Wow, only slightly less evil than your last job.” They both shared a good laugh. “Yeah, but hey, once you get regenerated from your horn in the middle of a frozen wasteland after being defeated by a baby dragon, you start to think back on the bad choices you’ve made,” Sombra said, shrugging his shoulders. “Being evil and a typical villain cliché didn’t appeal to me anymore. So I decided something more normal would finally make me happy.” “And you think that dating me would be more normal?” Celestia asked, her once-hated enemy actually growing on her a bit. “Well, more normal for an immortal, anyway,” Sombra said, that playful smirk still on his face. “Besides, once I heard you were on the market, there was no way that I couldn’t resist.” “Oh, and why is that?” Celestia asked, leaning in closer with a grin on her face as well. “Where do I begin?” Sombra asked, leaning in closer as well. “For a start, you’re quite beautiful and stunning. You are obviously a strong and independant mare, which I like. And best of all, you’re an intelligent and mature mare that is sure to make any future involvements with each other quite interesting. Do you wish for me to carry on?” “Oh no, I think I’ve heard enough,” Celestia said, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. “Why don’t we continue along with our date?” She made a gesture towards the menus. “Shall we?” “I couldn’t agree more,” Sombra said, his smile never wavering. “Hello?” Luna said into the receiver of her phone, answering it just as it rang while still leaning back in her chair. “Luna, it’s me, Tia,” the voice at the other end of the line spoke. “The date did not end well at all!” “What happened?” Luna asked, pausing her game with the tap of a button. “Also, where are you? I thought you would be home now?” “No, I’m right outside Sombra’s apartment.” “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Luna said, sitting bolt upright, her mind racing to catch up on this turn of events. “You went over to his place? On the first date?” “Well, I don’t know how these things work!” Celestia defended herself, her voice high and panicked. “Listen, can you just come over to pick me up?” “Why can’t you just get the guards to do that? Or fly or teleport yourself here?” “Because I don’t want the guards seeing me like... this,” Celestia muttered. “Also, my horn and wings are too sore for use.” “Um... Tia, what exactly did you do at Sombra’s place?” Luna asked, dread filling her heart and perverted thoughts filling her mind. “All I can say is that Sombra is a freak!” Celestia replied frantically. “His profile said nothing about that!” “Okay, okay, just relax,” Luna said, getting out of her seat and making her way to the door. “I’m coming to pick you up.” “Don’t forget to bring a towel and ice cubes. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit down or walk properly for a week.”