This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

Applejack can't sleep because of how good it actually felt to let Spike massage her. Who would have ever thought his little dragon claws were just right for some good massaging? In desperation, she decides to ask Spike to massage her again.

TVTropes page yay!A human arrives with a house in Ponyville. The Mane Six, and Princess Luna must deal with this new arrival. But not everyone agrees how it should be handled, not everyone agrees on what danger it represents, or the benefit it can be to Equestria.

The inhabitant must also deal with the new rules and conventions of this new world it knows nothing about, as well as the mystery of its appearance, and the incongruities of its arrival.
TVTropes page yay!

There was a question... and Spike wanted the answer. The curiosity of it was gnawing at his little dragon brain like gerbils in a vat of candy corn. In desperation, he turns to Cadence for help, and she's more than happy to assist.

After all, it's just a simple question. What's the worst that could happen?

(Takes place prior to Season 1. Rated for scattered innuendo.)

Jon Stewart needs to find a way to get more people to watch his show. To do this he welcomes a new series of guests from a far off land containing monsters, magic, and most importantly... ponies!
Join him on an adventure that has him matching wits with sentient mythical creatures ranging from god-like ponies to a fire breathing dragon! Each "Episode" marks a different MLP character getting a chance to travel to the human world for an interview on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Please feel free to leave a suggestion for who Jon should interview next.
Disclaimer: For proper context it is highly recommended to reach each chapter in order as many interviews allude to past guests and events.
A special thanks to Zeta040, Cantankerous, and Zervziel for proofreading several stories listed below.

List of Characters who have already appeared:
- Chapter 1: Spike
- Chapter 2: Derpy
- Chapter 3: Applejack
- Chapter 4: Ms. Cheerilee
- Chapter 5: Octavia
- Chapter 6: Zecora
- Chapter 7: Mayor Mare
- Chapter 8: Twilight
- Chapter 9: Trixie
- Chapter 10: DJ Pon3
- Chapter 11: Rainbow Dash
- Chapter 12: Iron Will
- Chapter 13: Fancy Pants
- Chapter 14: Queen Chrysalis
- Chapter 15: Luna
- Chapter 16: A Changeling
- Chapter 17: Rarity
- Chapter 18: Lyra and Bon Bon
- Chapter 19: The Cutie Mark Crusaders
- Chapter 20: Discord
- Chapter 21: Fluttershy

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.

Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

Mort, also known as the Pale Pony (of Death), has been tasked to take time off from his rigorous duties of reaping souls. Seeking guidance, he is directed towards the town of Ponyville, to learn about the magic of friendship from Twilight Sparkle and her friends. All he needs to do is keep his true nature a secret. That shouldn't be too difficult...right?

Special thanks to Specter-Von-Baren and Pyrite Foolsgold for their help in proofreading and editing this story, as I really needed it. Additional thanks to Pilate, Chuckle5, Unimpressive Vagaries and Admiral Biscuit as well! Couldn't have done it without all their help!

Credit for the title card goes to Siansaar, AKA Carnifex.

For another excellent take on Mort, check out Sip's version!

Brought to you by Loyal2Luna, this new Downloadable Content for Mass Effect 2 brings the fight to Equestria.

Just about ready to embark on their mission to stop the Collectors from further abducting human colonies, Commander Shepard and the crew of the Normandy SR-2 are given a new priority, when the Illusive Man tasks them with investigating the mysterious disappearance of a Cerberus science team.

Soon, what begins as a simple search-and-rescue unveils a mystery millions of years in the making, and the Commander finds himself thrust into a situation he couldn't possibly have prepared himself for.

Join the Hero of the Citadel as he uncovers the secrets, combats the demons, and ultimately decides the fate of the impossible world known as "Equestria."

A slightly more realistic take on the "Human in Equestria" story concept.

... For a given value of "realistic."

Okay, it's barely realistic but it is a hell of a lot of fun...

Now with an image graciously provided by Page Turner, and an audiobook version narrated by multifanficaday and if you prefer it in German, FrankyDoodle has got you covered!

And a TVTropes Page!

Last Featured: 11/26/2019! Thank you so much!