Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
NOTES: Just a bit of fun for you guys to enjoy until the real story is ready to go. It might take a while and I hate leaving my readers hanging without anything to enjoy. Yes, my ego is fragile but what the hell.
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An Interesting Proposal (And A Reason to Keep Your Mouth Shut or Open, Depending on your POV)
"So, Andrew," Twilight said, as she trotted into the library proper. I was sitting and reading a book peacefully, and looked up as she faced me.
"Yes?" I asked.
"I was wondering if for our next date, you'd like me to go as a human... Well, humanoid anyway," she said. "I haven't perfected the transformation just yet."
"Well, sure, if you want," I said with a shrug and a smile. "Sounds like it might be fun."
"Good," Twilight said, "because I wanted to get your opinion of my human form." Her horn glowed, and then the rest of her did. Her form stretched and stood up on her backhooves, and her mane became longer. The glow faded, and I was left...
Staring at a stark naked, very hot purple skinned girl. Her feet were still hooves, she still had a tail, her ears were still pony-like and her horn remained in the center of her forehead but trust me, none of that was an impediment.
To many a human male, they would be bonuses.
"What do human women traditionally wear on their dates?" Twilight asked.
My jaw was to the floor. Sure, I'd seen her in human form before but that one hadn't been as... Polished, if you get my meaning.
"Uh..." I looked up at the ceiling. "Er... What... You've got on... Is totally fine by me."
"You mean naked?" She asked curiously. "You wear clothes though."
"Uh, well..." I coughed. "Yes... Though uh..."
Twilight scowled. "You're just hemming and hawing because you're hoping I go on the date naked, aren't you?"
"What? No!" I said quickly. She hopped in my lap and scowled. I coughed and finally was unable to look anywhere but into her stern eyes. I sighed and nodded.
"Yes. Yes I am... And also dreading it."
"Dreading it?" Twilight asked, frowning. I coughed.
"Yes... You know... Awkwardness over sex and all that?"
"I see," Twilight said thoughtfully. She shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to go around like this until it's no longer awkward." She stood up and smiled brightly, crossing her arms under her breasts. "How does that sound?"
"... Fine by me," I managed. She headed out, and I held the open book over my red hot face.
"Why do I keep opening my mouth?" I muttered.
- - - - - - -
Fashion Foibles
I'll admit it: I have paid attention to fashion and I know more than a lot of other guys. It's primarily thanks to the fact my gay brother is a walking encyclopedia of fashion, among other stereotypes of homosexuality taken to such a degree it's like he stepped out of Will and Grace just to annoy and offend straights and gays equally.
Point is, I can appreciate dressing well, and I can appreciate wearing clothing, being human.
It does not mean I am fine with being a model of clothing and having to stand around for several hours being poked and prodded by a unicorn.
"Rarity, this is entirely unnecessary," I said, once again. I got the feeling that wasn't in her vocabulary.
"Nonsense! An entire species that wears clothes most of the time! This is a dream come true!" Rarity gasped. “Why, your fashion must be far in advance of our own! It’s wondrous! It’s amazing! Your people are simply fantastic!”
"Then use them for models, not me," I grumbled. The outfit I had on was a kind of green suit that looked like it belonged in the Wizard of Oz, or as an get-up the Eighth Doctor would find a bit old fashioned. And I actually liked that Doctor a lot. Rarity bustled around, pins and strings and measuring tape all floating around me like stars orbiting a black hole.
"I have no other models, dear," Rarity chuckled. "Besides! Don't you want to look your best? I assure you, no human being anywhere else will be as finely attired as you!"
"That would be comforting if I could just sit down?" I begged.
"Nonsense, you stand upright do you not?" She asked, doing some sewing.
"Yes, but not all the ti-EE!"
"Oops! My apologies! Please hold still-"
"GAH! OW! HEY!"
"Sorry, sorry, I-"
CRASH.
I poked my head out from a pile of mannequins, and focused on the spinning world. "Oooh..."
Rarity huffed. "Oh, wonderful. Now I'll have to start all over!" She held up her needles. "Come now, up you go!"
"No way!"
"Oh come on you big baby!"
"Never!"
"HOLD IT!"
- - - - - -
"So, I like the chocolate covered ones, but Rainbow Dash says the caramel flavored ones are better! Can you believe it?" Pinkie Pie asked Twilight Sparkle as they trotted by the Carousel Boutique. The purple unicorn chuckled.
"I don't know Pinkie, I like them both."
"Well yeah, me too, but one better than the other?! It's crazy talk, absolute-!"
Andrew burst out of the door of the shop, covered in strips of clothing and running for his life.
"FREEEEDOM!"
Rarity was right behind him.
"GET BACK HERE!"
The two ponies stared after this, before Pinkie shook her head.
"So as I was saying..."
- - - - - -
The next story arc is coming soon. I hope this tides you over until then.